SUMMARY: This is my version of what happens in the week after the
         "The War of the Coprophages" episode.
         Rated: General.  3000 Words.

DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story are the property of Chris 
         Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and the Fox Broadcasting 
         Network. No copyright infringement is intended.

X-PHILES: You are welcome to repost or otherwise distribute this  
         story among other X-Philes as long as you do so for free 
         and my name and e-mail address go with it. 

                                

                           TIGER LILY
                                                Jan. 14, 1996
                           by Eleanore
                        bonyun@oanet.com
               

     Mulder didn't talk about Bambi all the time. He just thought
about her all the time. 
     It was Wednesday, three days after the great manure debacle,
and Scully found herself wishing for a juicy X-File with lots of
unexplained phenomena. She would be willing to investigate out-of-
body experiences, thought transference, evil spirits, unearthly
chemicals... anything that would wipe that far away look off
Mulder's face. She couldn't stand it any more. 
     "Mulder, why don't you just call her?"
     "Hmm? Who?"
     "Bambi." It took a lot of effort, but she was able to say the
name without wrinkling her nose or sounding sarcastic.
     His face lighted up. "You think I should?"
     "I think you should. You really want to, so why don't you?" 
     "I didn't get the feeling that she liked me much."
     Scully felt a pang of sympathy. "She's only seen you for a
brief time, and some of that under rather unsavoury conditions.
Give it another chance."
     "I don't know, Scully. I don't know how long I can pretend to
like insects."
     "Well then don't pretend. If you really hope to establish a
relationship with her, it would be best to be honest." Scully's
voice tightened on the word "relationship".
     Mulder didn't notice. He was staring at the phone in
indecision. Scully had never seen him so lacking in confidence when
it came to a woman. Usually he was smooth and breezy, never at a
loss for a flirtatious compliment for a pretty clerk or waitress.
That was probably the trouble. This woman was no clerk or waitress.
She had more years of education under her belt than Mulder did. And
she obviously made his knees turn to jelly. Well... Scully wasn't
sure if men suffered from that particular symptom of extreme sexual
attraction, but whatever the male equivalent was, Mulder was
suffering from it. 
     "What have you got to lose, Mulder? I bet if you tell her that
you hate insects but you really would like to get to know her
better, she'll be flattered. The fact that you have to overcome a
natural aversion to see her will work in your favour."
     "Yeah, maybe. Maybe I'll call her later." He turned back to
his work, but it wasn't long before he was staring at the phone
again.
     Scully hoped he would make the call soon. Whether Bambi turned
him down or said she would see him, it would be a step towards a
return to normal around the office. And that's all Scully wanted.
A return to the old working atmosphere. It didn't matter to her
which way it went, as long as there was an end to all the
unresolved sexual tension that was emanating from Mulder. So that
they could return to normal. 
     She forced herself to stop staring at Mulder staring at the
phone. Somebody had to get some work done. 

                                *

     "Hello?"
     "You were right, Scully. As soon as I admitted to her that I
hated insects she started to warm up. I guess it was pretty obvious
that I was faking it."
     "And what about UFO's? Did you tell her that you didn't
believe her theory about the swarming insects?" 
     "No, not yet. Didn't want to hit her with everything all at
once. But I will, as soon as she has a chance to get to know me a
little. I'm going up there Friday and taking her out to dinner."
     "That's great, Mulder. What happened to Dr. Inanov?"
     "Oh, Bambi still thinks he's pretty wonderful. She was telling
me all about his social robots. But let's face it, Scully, he's an
old man."
     "Be careful not to underestimate the competition, Mulder.
Remember, he likes insects."
     "Yeah. Don't worry. I'm going to be very diplomatic."
     "A new first."
     "Ha, ha. See you tomorrow, Scully. And thanks for the good
advice."
     "You're welcome, Mulder."
     Scully hung up the phone and sat staring blindly at her TV
screen, her hands automatically stroking the soft fur of the dog
curled up at her side. When a particularly loud and obnoxious ad
broke her trance, she turned off the television and looked at the 
dog. "I think I must be crazy. Why am I helping Mulder woo this
woman?" When the dog didn't reply, she answered herself. "Because
to continue to be unpleasant about her would reflect poorly upon
myself and achieve nothing. He's besotted with her. What man
wouldn't be? She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's got long legs."
Scully stood up abruptly. "Come on," she said sharply. "Time for
your bedtime walk." 
     She wore her Walkman so that she wouldn't have to think too
much. She walked longer and farther than usual so that she would be
able to fall asleep quickly. 

                                *

     By Friday Scully was getting used to the new pain. She just
pushed it to one side of her mind along with the pain of losing
Melissa. 
     "I'd like to leave around 2:00, Scully. Do you think you could
finish going over these surveillance reports on your own?"
     "Sure, Mulder. Just park them on my desk." She kept on
reading. When Mulder came over with the pile of papers he hovered
beside her until she looked up to see him frowning. "What?"
     "I was thinking of taking her some flowers. Is that too corny
and old fashioned?"
     "For crying out loud, Mulder. You'd think that you'd never
been out with a girl before!"
     His flushed a little and laughed. "Sorry. I just don't want to
mess this one up if I can help it."
     Scully bit the inside of her lip. "Flowers are always
suitable. They're romantic and frivolous. What kind were you
thinking of getting?"
     "Pink roses?"
     Scully pursed her lips. "Not original, but safe. A girl
usually likes flowers in a colour that complements her appearance.
Get deep pink, if you can. And not too many. It's the thought that
counts here. Too many just looks ostentatious."
     Mulder nodded, then looked at his watch... again. 
     She swallowed her irritation. He was obviously anxious and
itching for some action to ease his nerves. "Go on, Mulder. You
might as well hit the road. You're not able to concentrate on
anything today, anyway. I'll finish up here."
     His face broke into a happy grin. He grabbed his coat and
headed for the door, turning at the last moment. "Scully... " He
hesitated, a look of concern on his face. "Thanks, Partner."
     "Get lost before I have a change of heart, Mulder." She kept
her head down, her eyes on the page in front of her until she heard
the door close.
     Scully got up and wandered around the office, her arms wrapped
around her stomach. She felt as if something was gnawing at her
insides. Maybe a cup of coffee would help. 
     Coming back with her steaming mug, she was struck by the
emptiness of the office. The work she had to do could be done just
as easily at home. If anyone questioned her leaving, she could
honestly say that she really wasn't feeling very well. She packed
up and beat a hasty retreat, leaving the coffee cooling on her
desk. 

                                *
     
     When the phone rang late Friday evening, Scully picked it up
with trepidation. She wanted it to be Mulder and she didn't want it
to be Mulder.
     "Hello."
     "You were right about the roses, Scully. The deep pink ones
were perfect. She wore one in her hair when we went to dinner, and
she was wearing a dress that same colour, made of some soft fabric.
She looked wonderful..."
     "Mulder, if you just called to give me a fashion review, I do
have better things to do with my time." Scully stirred the cocoa
vigorously.
     "Just felt like talking. And I wanted to thank you again. I
think she's beginning to like me. She suggested that we go hiking
tomorrow."
     Scully envisioned the two pairs of long legs in shorts and
boots. Her shoulders sagged. "That's nice Mulder. Where are you
now?" Lord, why did she ask that? She didn't really want to know,
did she? She took a quick gulp of cocoa that scalded her throat.
     "Back at the motel. Still a lot of roaches around, but they
all seem normal. Bambi has been examining a random sample from the
area every day, but no other mechanical roaches have turned up. Her
knowledge of insects is unbelievable, Scully. It's only when we
have to actually look at them that I feel repulsed. As long as she
is just talking about them, I'm fascinated. She has such a
beautiful voice. I could listen to her for hours."
     "Uh huh. Well... the commercials are over, Mulder. I'm missing
my movie."
     "What are you watching?"
     "The Great Escape."
     "A classic. I especially like the scene where they're almost
finished digging and James Garner... "
     "It's not a rental, Mulder. I can't just rewind to get what
I'm missing. Unless you have something important to say, I'm
hanging up."
     "Sorry, Scully. Enjoy the movie."
     "Goodnight, Mulder." She regretted her snappish tone of voice,
but he was gone.

                                *

     Scully shook the worst of the dirt off one hand and gingerly
picked up the phone.
     "Hello?"
     "Did you know that those little water bugs called `back
swimmers' can bite, Scully? And the bites itch like crazy." 
     "No, I didn't know that, Mulder." She held the acalypha
hispida's tails up as she gently spread the potting soil around it.
"What else did you learn on your nature walk?"
     "How to identify different species of aphids. How many eggs
different species of spiders lay." He sounded tired.
     "Sounds like lots of fun." Scully watered the soil down and
tried not to be hopeful. "So how are you and Bambi getting along?"
     "Pretty well. She offered to cook dinner for me. I think she's
trying to make up for the bites. I did make kind of a fuss."
     Scully could just see his injured "poor me" look. It didn't
work on Scully any more, but it would probably get Bambi feeling
sorry for him. "Nice move, Mulder."
     He laughed. "You know me too well, Scully."
     Something squeezed her heart. "Warts and all, Mulder."
     "So what are you up to?"
     "Transplanting some houseplants and roasting a chicken."
     "With stuffing?"
     "No. I don't bother with stuffing if it's just for myself."
She grimaced, wishing that it hadn't come out sounding quite so
pathetic.
     "Well, I'm going to shower and take a nap. That woman set a
gruelling pace. What kind of wine would you choose to go with baked
salmon?" 
     "White, I think. Maybe a rose. Sparkling."
     "Scully, did anyone ever tell you that your taste in wines is
somewhat reminiscent of soda pop?"
     She smiled a wide happy grin as the welcome warmth of his
affection spread through her. "Yes, Mulder. You do. Often. So why
do you ask my opinion?"
     "Gives me a chance to feel superior to you for a change."
     It was the first time he had teased her in a week. 
     "Well, I'd better go."
     "Bye, Mulder."

                                *

     
     Scully glanced at the clock as she picked up the phone... 
10:30 p.m. God. He'd better not be calling to brag about his
conquest. There were limits to even her friendship. 
     "Hello?"
     "Hi, Scully."
     "What's wrong Mulder? You okay?"
     "Oh, yeah. Do you know that woman eats, sleeps and breathes
bugs? Her bookshelf has nothing but bug books. I tried to get a
conversation going on another topic but she's got a one track
mind."
     "How was dinner? What wine did you get?"
     "Sauternes. We haven't had it yet. Dr. Inanov called with some
kind of entomological problem and she went rushing off to consult
with him. Said she'd be right back. That was hours ago. Scully?"
     "Yeah?"
     "Am I like that, obsessed by one topic? Do I go on and on
about aliens and UFO's until you are sick of them?"
     "Sometimes. But you are also able to talk intelligently on a
number of other topics. Government conspiracies, mutants,
clones..."
     "Okay, okay. Enough. What's that music?"
     "H.M.S. Pinafore."
     "Gilbert and Sullivan. You must be watching A&E."
     "No. Actually it's a record that was made of our High School
production. It's pretty bad, but I enjoy listening to it once in a
while. I had a crush on the boy who played Rafe Rackstrom."
     "I didn't know that you sang, Scully."
     "Well, I was just in the chorus."
     "One of the sisters, cousins and aunts? I bet you were an
alto."
     "Yup."
     "Ah... I think I hear my hostess returning. Maybe if I can get
a little of this wine into her I can get her mind off bugs for a
while. Do you suppose she talks about bugs in bed?"
     "I don't want to know, Mulder."

                                *

     The phone rang Sunday morning. It was Scully's mother.

     The phone rang Sunday afternoon. It was a charity.

     Obviously Mulder had succeeded, and was diplomatically not
calling with details. She couldn't stay around all day listening to
the phone not ringing. She changed into some tidy clothes, picked
up her Scrabble game and her Cribbage board and went out. 
     She had a professional acquaintance who was on the staff of a
veterans' home. Once in a while she would go down there and visit
with the men who didn't have families and play a few games. It was
one of the ways that she paid homage to her father's memory.
Usually she enjoyed it. The old fellows flirted with her and paid
her outrageous compliments. She felt good about bringing a little
spice into their lives. They were a pretty mean bunch of cribbage
players, too. Scully did better if she could talk one of them into
a game of Scrabble.
     No one was willing to play Scrabble today. Scully was getting
annoyed at being repeatedly skunked at Cribbage. The thick
cigarette smoke was giving her a headache. The old men's jokes were
tired and familiar. It was time to go.
     She walked part of the way home to clear her head. And to
think. It was time to come to terms with the weekend's events. In
the morning she would have to face Mulder.
     So, how did she feel? She felt abandoned and rejected. Why?
Because Mulder was hers. Hers? How? She didn't know exactly. Her
alter ego. She was the one he teased and argued with. Shared his
thoughts and fears with. She was the one he was closest to. Until
now. Mulder deserved love like anyone else. Shouldn't she be happy
for him? Yes. She was, but... But what? She'd believed for quite a
while now, that Mulder loved her. Really? What made her think that?
Just a lot of little things. The way that he phoned her at all
hours of the night and day. The fact that neither of them had other
romantic interests. But had he ever actually said anything to make
her believe that? No. Nothing. Had she ever said anything to him
that would show him that she cared that way for him? No. Never.
Well then, obviously it was an erroneous assumption. Mulder was
falling in love with the sexy bug lady. And as his friend, Scully
should be happy for him. Yeah. Tomorrow. She'd be happy for him
tomorrow. They would still be friends, still be partners. But she
would lose that closeness. That comfortable companionship. She
would be happy for him tomorrow, even if it killed her, but tonight
she was going to grieve for something that had never really had a
chance. 
     She went into a restaurant and ordered a glass of Sauternes
with her dinner.

                                *
     
     There was a bouquet of flowers on her coffee table. "Bouquet"
was a little too elegant. There were five stems of huge Tiger
Lilies jammed into a tall jar. 
     She looked at them in mystification. They were gorgeous.
Vibrant peachy-orange trumpets with exotic speckled throats. So
where did they come from? Only Mulder and her Mother had keys to
her apartment. 
     The phone rang. 
     Confusion, hope, joy, caution. Scully was trembling inside as
she picked up the phone.
     "Hello?"
     "Hey, Scully. Where've you been? I've been trying to get hold
of you all evening."
     "I was over at the veterans' home, and then I had dinner out."
     "Get skunked again?"
     "Yes. Did you bring the flowers?"
     "I hope you don't mind my letting myself in. I wanted to get
them into water before they expired."
     "Where did you get them?"
     "I was over at my Mother's, doing some digging for her. She
has a whole bank of them growing wild. They reminded me of you."
     "Thank you, Mulder. I love them."
     "I hope I didn't pick too many. Wouldn't want to seem
ostentatious."
     "I think the `Miracle Whip' jar takes care of that, Mulder."
     "Well, I don't know where you keep your vases. I found that in
your recycle stuff."
     She had to know. "So, what happened with you and Bambi?"
     "Nothing. We ate our dinner. Drank our wine. She talked about
bugs and I finally told her what I thought of her theory about UFO
sightings really being insect swarms."
     "And?"
     "She thinks I'm crazy. I think she's one of the most beautiful
bores I have ever met. I drove over to Mom's and spent the night
and most of today with her."
     "I... I'm really sorry that it didn't work out, Mulder."
     "No big deal. I dropped by the office... thought you might be
there. What did you do with those surveillance reports, Scully?"
     "They're here in my briefcase. I've been through them. Nothing
useful yet." 
     "Well, it's late. I guess they can wait till tomorrow. I've
got blisters from the digging."
     "You should have worn gloves." Her vision was blurring. 
     He sighed dramatically. "You're a hard woman, Scully. See you
in the morning."
     A tear ran down her cheek to get caught in the corner of her
smile. "Goodnight, Mulder."


                               END

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                        bonyun@oanet.com