Disclaimers..
Well they are not mine..belong to CC and 1013 team at Fox. Just messin' with 
them for a while. I'll give'm back later..

Spoilers: Yes. 

Feedback greatly received and read or bined! Bexbel@aol.com. Go easy, If you 
like ,write, if you don't..float.

Authors notes.
This little story is just a little bit of head heat. NC17 of cause! Angst, RST, 
and all you want to read. Just for you edification, gratification and joy..I 
hope!?

Note to CC: Watch out Chris. Read the message boards! We're gritting a little 
peed at the lack of touchy, touchy, between our hero's. five years of foreplay 
is enough already!! Get with the program. Love Bex.

Archive if you want.
Rating: NC17, R, G,..for sex, language. If you are under age..well you know the 
drill!

Here we go, post `Emily'.


                                            `Talk to me..'
                                               by Bexbel.


FBI HQ
X files basement office.
February 15th 1998.
Friday.

I never really got the chance to say how very, very sorry I was. The time never 
seemed right. Or at least, when it was..right..I bottled out. not really sure of 
what I should say. For the first time in my life, I dried, withered, at seeing 
her anguish. My partners pain, ripped through me, like a bullet. I could see, 
hear and almost touch it. The palible suffering she was feeling, rolled from her 
to me and back. but neither of us, crossed that divide, to comfort. 

I have always been the weak one. She, on the other hand, was always a tower of 
strength. Her will, forceful to the extreme. I always have admired that trait of 
her personality. But somehow I feel that her tower was on shaky ground, a tremor 
had shaken the foundations, that cold morning at her child's funeral.   Her 
heart and soul had been laid bare, to all who knew her. Something I knew she 
found impossible to hide. So she took a breath, deep and hard, turned and threw 
up those walls. cementing it all out. All the crap. Me, her Mum, her family, 
what's left of it. Letting the agony of finding and ultimately loosing that 
small child. Wash over her, briefly. To only bury it, as deep as she could.

The only problem with that is, it will re-surface. So I'm just waiting for the 
day. Patiently. Maybe when that huge wall of bricks and mortar start to 
disintegrate, I can be there to soothe her, comfort her. Love her. I know she 
needs me, but is afraid to ask. And I'm afraid to offer. So I bide my time. 

The man with the white feather in his hand, waits, watches, walks on egg shells. 
Yes. Me the coward. Par for the course. When it comes to Scully. I am a coward. 

I feel like I'm a joker on a hill, tracing silly patterns with my shoes. Praying 
to a higher being, that I will have the strength to gather her broken heart up 
and piece it back together. If she will let me. Hell. I don't even know if I'll 
have the strength to do it. But, I'm gonna try. I have to.  Personal Diary, 15th 
Feb 98. Fox.

*********************************************************************

FBI HQ

`Your late Scully?..over sleep?' I try to be light, but my heart sinks when she 
gives me a tender smile, turns to her desk and sits behind it not saying a word.

She looks, sad. She looks, tired. She looks stunning. That suit always looks 
great on her. Bottle green, white silk under it. Her chain flashes at me, as the 
light catches the facets of the cross. The solitary ray of light falls on her 
head and shoulders, it makes her look angelic. I do believe she has a halo above 
her red crown. Yes. A halo. I feel the breath catch in my throat, I'm staring, 
she knows it. I blush at being caught. Watching her for too long. Fool.

`Mulder..I fine..' she states plainly. No she isn't. And how on earth does she 
know what I was thinking? So I smile.

`OK..' nearly a question, an acceptance of her three words.

The silence is thick. Almost heard. We both are uncomfortable. We hate it. We 
fidget. We sigh and fiddle with paper and files. Awkward. Jesus, I hate this.

`Coffee?' I ask, bright and cheery, desperate to end this torture.

`Humm.' she gives me a closed lips smile and continues to tap on the keyboard of 
her lap top. Good, something I can do, make her coffee..this is good.

`There you go..just how you like it.'  I plonk it in front of her with a wide 
grin, she looks up, a glint in her sky blues.

`How would you know, how I like it?..You have never asked me?!' she gives a 
little chuckle. The tension in the office, washes away with the sarcastic smile 
she gives me.  My knees almost crumble with thanks. She has worked her magic 
again. How does she do that? She has managed to make me feel relaxed and 
comfortable with a sweet sentence. Albeit a dig at my lack of thoughtfulness.


`You wound me!' I cover my heart with my hand, pouting. 

`Yeah right..' she picks up the coffee, takes a sip, swallows and make a face. 

`Not bad..not bad at all Mulder..'  unbelieving the coffee is drinkable.

`See. I can make coffee! and toast, and spaghetti, and ham sandwiches, and..' 
She interrupts my ramble with a raised hand, chuckling. I love it when she 
chuckles like that.

`Enough already! I get the picture.'  she sits for a while with a smile curving 
her lips. As I settle back to my tasks.

`You know..' I begin again, before the silence begins to clog the office.
`I make a really good spaghetti Bolagnaise, a family recipe.' she lifts her 
head, to catch my eyes from under her lashes.

`You want to try it out? Tomorrow?' God my voice is trembling, did I just ask 
her out on a date?

Something has happened. I can feel it. What it is. I'm not sure. But she takes a 
breath and smiles, tilting her head so the red strands fall over her cheek. 

She studies me for a moment, I feel invaded,  she is concidering my offer.

My heart sinks as the smile leaves her lips and she taps on the keys. What the 
hell happened?

`As much as I would love to taste your family recipe Mulder..I can't.' she 
pauses her digits on the keys, just for a second, only to start again just as 
quickly.

`Why?' incredulous. `It's not as if we haven't spent an evening eating and 
drinking, and being merry before?..' I'm rambling, I know it. I look hurt. I 
feel hurt.

`Mull..deer..' she draws my name out. Like a chastise.

`What?..You got a date?' It slipped out. Oh shit!. I didn't mean for my words to 
sound so defensive. What right have I, to be jealous?

`HA!' she scoffs at me, not perturbed. I'm relieved and curious. My eyes search 
hers for an explanation.

Taking a deep cleansing breath she frowns. Suddenly, I'm sure I saw pain on her 
brow.

`I'm God Mum to my niece. She is being Baptised tomorrow.' her tone soft, a 
little tension in her voice. Oh God. Now I know. She is dreading it. Having to 
hold a baby in her arms. Not her baby. 

I feel my heart constrict in my chest for her. Before I register, I have said 
it.

`Do you want me to come with you?' where did that come from? I sound so eager to 
be with her. Sad man.

She smiles sweetly at my gesture. Attoinment.

`I'll be fine. Thanks..But I don't think it would be a good idea, knowing how 
Bill feels about you.' she tries to be tender, but the knife is already drawing 
blood. I wither. Cringe.

`I don't care about Bill. I `care' about you. I just thought..' she stops me 
short with those blue chips, that are now overpowering my eyes. We're locked. I 
dare not look away.

`I know you care Mulder. I appreciate the gesture, but I can handle it. OK?' her 
tone strong and determined. Those walls being reinforced with more emotional 
baggage.

I feel like a school boy, who has been told to write a hundred lines. I know she 
hates to be protected. Especially by me. Adolesent

`Rain check then?' I offer, covering my own awkwardness.

`Yeah, rain check' she affirms with a half hearted smile. Relieved, I continue 
to drink my coffee. 

Change the subject, I tell her a joke, pulled from my cracker at Christmas.

`Hey Scully!..Have you heard this one?' 

She jumps a little, I spoke a little loud. Pratt.

`What one?' she stops typing, knowing I'm not in the mood to work. She's  pissed 
at me.

`Why did the chewing gum cross the road?'  stupid grin on my face, she almost 
smiles back, but doesn't.

`I don't know..why did the chewing gum cross the road?' talking slowly and 
deliberately. She's placating me.

`Cause..' I start to laugh at my own joke. Juvenile!!

`Cause it was stuck to the chickens foot!'  I watch her eyes for a reaction, I 
see very little. Then she smiles and huffs out the air in her lungs.

`That's pathetic Mulder!' she scolds me, trying not to laugh.

`Go on then, you tell me one!?' I challenge. I think I'm hurt?

She scowls at me, sending a shiver of fear down my spine. An ability to make me 
shrink like that. But I'm getting used to it now.

To counteract it, I raise my brows, forcing the tables back over. Strike one!

There is a pause, I can tell she is thinking, the cogs are spinning. 

`Why did the dinosaur cross the road?' she gives me dead pan.

I shake my head.

`Cause the chicken hasn't evolved yet.' almost matter of factley. I chuckle, my 
shoulders jiggle and I feel silly. This in turn, makes her laugh at me. Until we 
are both raising to a crescendo of laughter. How bloody silly, two thirty 
something's. Laughing like kids at  pathetic jokes. But it feels `so' good to 
laugh. After all the crap.

Eventually we settle back to our jobs. With smiles on our faces. Flicking each 
other glances, which only makes us giggle a little more. I congratulate myself 
on my achievement. Home run. Yeah!

*********************************************************************

The day whisks by. And she seems more...she just seems better than she did, when 
she walked in. 

`See you Monday.' she nods in my direction,  stands and puts her coat on.

`Yeah..' I'm caught out a little, I wasn't expecting her to go, `so' soon. 
Looking at my watch I check the time. 5.30pm. Yeah it's knock off time.

`Scully?' 

`What?' she turns to me before she leaves.

`I hope it all goes well..tomorrow..' sincerely, gently. 

She nods, giving me a closed mouth smile. So I'm left watching the void she has 
left. I stay on for a few more hours. Until the walls close in. Time to go. 

*********************************************************************

Mulder's apartment.
Saturday 16th 
9.30pm.

It's funny. Today I have spent thinking as little as possible about her. I felt 
a strange sensation all day. The nearest adjective, I could use to describe the 
feeling is, apprehensive. 

I `have' thought about her though. When I ate breakfast, my mind wandered to 
yesterday. The conversation we had. <what you have a date?> Her ironic laugh, in 
reply, sent a shiver through me. Incredulous really. Why wouldn't she have a 
date?. She is a women. Intelligent, beautiful, shapely. When would she get the 
time? I'm always dragging her off somewhere. No wonder she gave such a hard 
response. My gut twisted and growled at me. I didn't finish my bowl of sugar 
coated flakes.

At lunch, I thought about her laughing with me. and I smiled remembering. How 
good it felt to laugh. Didn't someone once write, laugh, and the world laughs 
with you? At that moment in the office, it felt everybody in the world was 
laughing with us. Or were they laughing at us?  Or just at me? The coward, 
yellow belly. 

It would have been so easy. Walk over, put my arms around her. Hold her. Kiss 
her. God knows! I've wanted to for the longest time.

Fear.

Rejection.

Pain.

My fear of doing it. Her rejection of me. My pain. This is what stops me. I have 
come to the conclusion. A harsh one. That I. Am. Selfish!  So what if she 
rejects me? So what if I have pain? It wouldn't be any worse than the hurt I 
feel now. My fear of crossing that unspoken line. Selfish. I realise its all 
been about `my' feelings, not hers. Jesus! How trite! 

I gagged on my ham sandwich. Screwing my mouth up, forcing the bile back down my 
quickly, constricting throat. Yhah.

So to think things through, I ran. 

And ran. And ran.

Until I finally had my twisted mind in some sort of order.

Firstly, let me tell you, it wasn't easy. But once I'd done this Herculean task. 
I was elated. And those ten miles I ran, seemed like a stroll in the park. 
Although my legs would disagree.

So here I am, soaking in my bath, with a silly smile on my face. Happily 
sloshing suds over my tenseless muscles. You see today, I had a revelation of 
sorts. I'm in love. Yep!. Totally, utterly, blissfully besotted, with my 
`enigmatic' partner. This in it's self, isn't a true revelation. But I have only 
just admitted it to myself.   Most poignant, I need to do something about it! 

I'm sick and  tired of shrouding those feelings.

 Man, cannot live by bread alone. Man, needs woman. Woman needs man.

I need her, like air to breath, like I need water to cross the parched dessert. 
She is, and has, always been my water, my air, my manner from heaven. Which is 
kind of mind blowing. 

Fuck protocol, fuck Cancer man, the consortium, and any other bastard that 
threatens us.

Even if she doesn't feel the same about me, I'm going to tell her what she is to 
me. I'm going to tell her, I love her, I want to make her pain go away. If I 
can. If she'll let me.

I feel strong, energised. Too long I've been scared, too long I have cowered 
under my security blanket.

 I'm not scared anymore.

 I'm no longer that joker on a hill, drawing crazy patterns with my shoes. I'm 
now, standing tall, proud and sure on top of the mountain. Laughing at the world 
scurrying beneath me. No more fear. Only strength for me and her. I'll give her 
my strength, which she has  given me. It's my turn, to give it back. By the 
barrel load.

See? Haven't I changed? I've got my act together, clich?, I know. But it's true. 
It is  `truth'.

*********************************************************************

Mulder's apartment.
10.00pm.

My phone rings. I leap from my bath and run to pick it up before the machine 
kicks in. I'm praying again, praying it's her.

`Hey!' I  scream..

`Oh..Fox..' I'm stunned. My name! The only person `I' know who calls me Fox, is 
Margaret Scully.

`Mrs...Scully?' I stammer, my pulse quickens.

`Yes Fox..' she pauses, which makes my stomach flip flop, I  sink to the couch 
beside me.

`It's Dana isn't it?' I know something isn't right. I feel panic, fill my very 
soul.

`Yes..' she whispers.

`Tell me..' I urge, almost quivering with my  thoughts. Crash, suicide, 
drugs..Oh God!..I feel tears spring to my eyes.

`She's had a bad day Fox..I think it was too much for her. You see, she is hard 
as a rock outside, but putty inside.' Margaret is soft to me, she wants 
something from me, I know, I can sense it in her voice.

`What can I do?' I give back strong.

`She's gone. I mean, she left early. We've been trying to find her but..I was 
wondering if you knew where she might go?' she sounded shit scared. As I am.

`I have a few idea's. ` I give back a little hopeful. My mind races.

`Fox she's been drinking. The last time she drank this much..well when she broke 
up with Marcus.' I shake my head, I don't understand. Margaret thinks I should 
know about this. I don't.

`Marcus?' I give hesitantly.

`It was a long time ago Mulder. He broke her heart.  I think her heart is broken 
again. With Emily and all. Today was the last straw. She needs a friend... She 
needs you.' 

`Does she love me?' God knows why I asked her `that'. It's not what I wanted to 
ask. But my ego needed the boost. If anyone would know, Margaret would.

`Oh Fox!..That's not the point!' she almost sobbed at me.

`Sorry..I'l find her, I promise. I will. I'll call you when I have OK?' I heard 
her sigh with relief down the line. I must confess. I'm pleased Margaret called.

`Thank you..she and Bill had a fight. She left without her coat. She drove off, 
she was too drunk. Mulder? I'm really scared for her. I know what happened last 
time. And if she follows the same pattern..well..she could be in real trouble.' 

`Oh God...' just by her tone I knew she wasn't underestimating the possible 
consequences.

`Just find her Fox..please..' Margaret hung up and I held the phone. Terrified 
again. It took me a few minutes to get my mind around this.

First things first, keys, her's and mine, coat and another. Mobile, turn it on. 
In case she calls me. Flicking my answer machine on, I left my apartment. 
Shit!..Get dressed you idiot!!
 
*********************************************************************
 
The roads were strangely deserted. Maybe it had something to do with the inch of 
snow that had fallen, and continued to.

I drew up at her apartment and went in, already knowing she wasn't there. But I 
had to check. As I opened her front door, it was cold, the heating had gone off. 
I put it on constant. So when we got back it would be cosy. 

It's strange but even then I knew, I would bring her home. No hesitation. I just 
knew.

I left, standing outside her building, I looked up and down the street. God it 
was quiet. Bloody cold!

*********************************************************************

Driving, I ended up at the river. The place where we used to meet, when they 
shut us down. I walk towards our bench. Funny. I call it our bench. 

Like lovers do. A song, a smile, a place to go. To be together. Alone.

Zipping up my jacket, turning the collar up I begin to jog. My eyes straining to 
adjust to the half light and wincing as the cold flakes hit my skin.

Just as I near `our' bench. I see two men with her, she is sitting high on the 
back of `that' bench with her head down. A bottle in her hand. She's shivering. 
She's wet.

The light behind her, gives her a halo. Just like in the office yesterday. My 
mind reels. I see her leap off the bench, turning her back to the two men. It's 
not till I slow, I see  they are police. 

`Shit.' I whisper to myself, this is not going to look good on her record. Drunk 
and disorderly, drunk driving. Coming on to Washington's finest.

I stand back in the shadows, intrigued to hear the conversation. I'm fascinated, 
never seeing her like this, with the walls down.

`OK..Ok..whats your name?' the first officer enquires gently. God she is so 
fragile, she's small against their silhouettes.

`Scully...Sculleee..' she chuckles, taking another swig from the tequila bottle.

`What's yours handsome?' she swaggers up to him, standing a little too close, 
eyes surveying him seductively. I do believe I'm jealous!

I groan and step a little closer, none of them notice me.

`Step back Miss...How did you get here?' 

`I. Drove! My, thats a lovely badge..I've got one like that at home.' she 
fingered it's contours grinning at him. The guy holds her by the wrists, to stop 
her mauling him.

`Miss Scully..were going to take you in..your drunk and..'

`No shit!?' she throws her head back, laughing out loud, pausing only to gulp  
more sweet liquid down her throat.

`You have the right to remain..' the officer continued.

`Hold on.. hold on..I know the next bit!' she was serious now and copied the 
officers.

I walked up as she took another huge gulp. Unaware I was watching them.

`Evening officers..' I flash my badge, they looked  perplexed.

`OH God! you just swallowed the worm!' the young officer grimaced, we all 
watched as she gives him a smile, with enough power to light DC at Christmas.

`You'll be surprised at what I swallow..' Jesus!!  I nearly choked, but I 
couldn't help the image she made me cunjure up. A grin crosses my face.

`I think I might have to marry you Miss Scully..' the young officer chuckled, 
only to receive a scowl from his patrol mate.

`Your on!' she slung her arms around his shoulders and kissed him.

Only then did I step in.

`Your Halo's slipping Dana' I'm speaking softly, with a grin still.

This stuns her, stops her  mauling the younger officer.

`Mulder!...OH FUCK..All I need!' She retreated to the bench, to slump on it. The 
wet  silk dress sticking to her skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. I love 
that woman!

`Cuff her Jones.' the older officer instructs.

`Wait, Can I talk to you a minute?' I turn the officer with me.

`Look. She's my partner at the FBI. She's been through it lately. And she needs 
to sober up. I'll get her home safe. Please.' 

`Ooooo cuff's. Good..I like cuffs. I'll be at your mercy. ` she oozes, stroking 
the officers thighs. He giggles.

`Please..' I begged a little. I flick my eyes over her and back to the officers.

He considers a while. I'm holding my breath.

`OK..Get her outa' ere..' he smiled,  I take her hands, bloody quick.

`Mulder I'm getting married!..what's his name here...he's pretty cute don't ya 
think?'  she pulls from me and kisses the stunned officer again.

`Miss Scully  I'm gay!'  we all look stunned for a few moments then Scully, God 
love her,  burst out laughing.

`Shit! Just my luck..Still..I don't care. I can be Bisewx..bi-sex. u. all. ` she 
manages to get the tricky words out.

`Scully!?' I scold, I get that stare.

`Shocked Mulder? Good. About bloody time! Isn't it ironic?..Ones gay..' she 
points to the offending officer. 

`He doesn't fancy me.' she points to the other.

`I'm married Miss Scully..ten years.' the older officer placates.

`Oooh, well done..all the good ones are always taken.'  then she turned to me, 
her eyes softened. Again I'm holding my breath. 

`And you..' she sidles up to me, looking me straight in the eye. I swallow the 
cotton wool in my mouth.

`Me?' I whispered. Flicking my spare coat around her shoulders.

`Yeah you..I can't have.' sad, bitter, tears staining her lids. My heart broke. 
Just broke. Oh babe, If only you knew.

`D. Danaaa..' I almost lost it. Her eyes were just killing me.

She turns from me, taking a deep breath, swaggers a little, I steady her, my 
hands gentle on her shoulders.

`You wouldn't want me anyway...' she addresses the officers.

`I'm short, tiny tits, hard as nails, they call me the ice queen you know?...I 
can't have babies.' her voice broke a little.

`Dana..' I whisper and drop my head, I hate to hear this, it's too hard.

She doesn't here my plea to stop.

`I had one once, she died. `She' was Emily. I didn't even know I'd had her..'  
Her posture as tall as she can make herself. Jutting her chin out, as if she's 
waiting for someone to hit it.

`Dana..come on, lets go..' I interrupt, pulling a little on her shoulders.

She shrugs me off her.

`I'm a doctor!..you think I would have saved her. But NO!..I couldn't even do 
that! What a fucking doctor I am!' her tears streaming down her face now, she 
drank the last liquid in the bottle and through it into the river. An angry 
toss. 

It is desperately quiet.

Has the wind changed? Brick by brick. 

`Well good night boys..nice to have met you. Let's do this again soon.' she 
gives them a smile and wipes her cheeks of tears, harshly. Turning again to me.

`Take me home.' strong. I'm jelly. She has done it again. Walls. Always walls.

She staggered with me to the car,  shivering in silence, we walked. The officers 
stood there watching us go.

I'm sad. I'm relieved. I'm bloody terrified. My poor babe. 

She may not have been keeping to her persona of a lady, talking to the officers. 
But she was all woman. A broken, damaged woman. Still a lady in my eyes.

*********************************************************************

Neither of us spoke on the way home in the car. I drove slowly, the roads were 
bad.

She curled up in the seat, closing her eyes. I think she slept.

I got out my mobile to ring her mother.

`Yeah it's me..I've got her. we're going home. She's a little cold and wet 
but..anyway I'll ring you in the morning. OK I will.' I hung up, glancing at 
her. She opened her eyes.

`Mum?' she enquired, hardly any emotion showing. 

`Yeah. I said I'd call her... When I found you.' she grimaced and turned away 
from me. I felt as though someone had hit my solarplexes.

*********************************************************************

Remarkably she walked by her own steam to her door, and waited while I opened 
up.

`Thanks..Bye.' she offered, as if nothing had happened. 

The door closed in my face. I was gutted. Then I was angry. My mouth agape.

*********************************************************************

While I pondered my next move, I unlocked the door again. My coat was pooled on 
the floor inside the door.

No lights were on, except the one in her bathroom. I heard her retching. 
Expelling the last remnants of the bottle. I edged slowly to the open door, and 
walked in. She didn't notice me, she was too busy.

I wetted her flannel and put a towel around her shoulders, she shook.

Gently I knelt beside her, easing back her hair behind her ears. God she looked 
beautiful, scared, and a mess. At that moment, my heart bleeding for her. Not 
pity, never that. You know what I'm trying to say.

She turned to me, flushed red, with embarrassment and anger at seeing her like 
this.

`Please..go..' she was begging. She didn't even make eye contact. I'm glad. She 
would have seen my unshed tears, if she did.  

`No.' calmly, softly as I could.

Wiping her face with the damp cloth, she began to cry again. I had to swallow 
hard, so I didn't end up a quivering lump beside her.

 Her stomach demanded freedom from the alcohol. She reached again and again. 
Until every drop had been evacuated. I rubbed her back gently till she was 
spent. Flushing the toilet, I stood and began to draw her a bath. She sat 
slumped on the floor.

Now, I knew exactly what I needed to do for her. Like she had done countless 
times for me.

I put her tooth paste on her brush and help her to stand. Handing her a beaker 
of water, so she could rinse. She took it, not daring to look at me. Only at my 
shoes.

`Mulder?..' quiet, embarrassed.

`Before you say it again. I'm not going anywhere tonight. We need to talk.'  I 
do believe she looked at me with some relief. If not a tiny bit scared. 

I smiled and poured some bubbles into the water. Flipping them up with my hand.

I checked the temperature with my elbow and she chuckled. She is still woozy. 
Still inebriated.

`Come on..Lets get this off you.' my tone even and cool. I pulled her towards me 
gently.

`You mean I might get laid after all?' she gave me a sideways glance. Too weak 
to do it herself. She knows it. I know it.

I don't know what to say. Yes? Maybe? Please? I'd love to love you? But as I 
processed my answer....

`I'm cold Mulder..' her ice blue eyes clutch at mine, I don't move. I stare into 
them. Something sacred smoldered in them. 

Beautiful.

She is cold, she's trembling. So I smile and move nearer. I reach slowly for the 
hem of the silk. It is clinging to her skin. My hands tremble, I pray she can't 
she my state. I'm all undone.

The connection, disintegrates as she closes her eyes. She lifts her arms above 
her. Waiting for me to do, what I have to.

<ohmygodohmygod> I chant silently.

I try, and fail, to detach myself from my task. This is too bloody hard. I've 
never seen my Dana, naked. I try not to look. But..

<Jesus forgive me.> I pull the ruined silk up and over her head, off.

 My feeble imagination has never done her justice. My fantasies were way off. 
`Way' off!

She is gorgeous.

She has no bra on. Her small, sweet breasts bob before me, I try not to look 
again. Yet again, I faulter. I fling the dress into the corner of the room.

Silence.

Her eyes still closed, she puts her hands back to her sides. I look to her face. 
She is serene and calm. I didn't think she would be so..Calm... I have to stifle 
my groan of admiration. 

She is warring French knickers, matching colour to her dress and hold ups. My 
knees have turned to jelly. 

<OH GOD!> I scream in my head. Too much. My cock twitches in my boxers.
<NO!> I chastise my male response.

GET. A. GRIP. SPOOKY!


Falling to my knees, I roll one stocking down her leg, finally off her foot. 
Then the other.

 It's like a dream. I'm not really doing this. Am I? Her skin is glowing at me, 
screaming at  me to touch it. Caress and taste. god how I need to!

I can't help it. My hands slide slowly up the back of her legs, over the damp 
satin of her underwear. To the knickers waistband. She doesn't flinch. My breath 
sticks in my throat. My hands continue to tremble. My head level with her waist. 
I rock a little,  slide them down the curves of her hips.  I flinch as she 
places a chilled hand on my shoulder, to steady herself. As she lifts a leg, 
then another  for me to remove them fully. Then, and only then, do I allow 
myself to look at her face. Trailing my eyes slowly up and up. Sweet mother of 
God, five foot of pure heaven.

I don't know if she has been watching me, or have her eyes been closed the whole 
time? But as I look now. They `are' closed.

No expression I can read shows on her face. Mine however, is a different story.

I'm pleased in a way. Cause if she could see my reaction to what I have 
uncovered. I'm certain she would think less of me. 

*********************************************************************

I stand and take her hand, those stunning blues open, tears  threatening. Is it, 
embarrassment? Hell, she has nothing to be embarrassed about. She is an angel. 
She is my fucking angel.

`It's OK Dana.' I try to soothe, cupping her cheek in my hand, she just puts her 
arms around my waist. Holding me. Jesus she is holding me. She must feel me. 
Hard and hot against her stomach. She says nothing and makes no move. I'm 
embarrassed now, utterly.

I honestly don't think she realises what she has done to me. Or what she has 
been doing to me for the last few years.

My hands stroke down her spine, she is so cold. And as much as I would love to 
stay in her arms all night, right here. She needs to get warm. I `need' to get 
my dick under control!

So I move off her a little, she nods. We smile. I help her into the water. The 
bubbles cover her form. I pleased. I'm gutted. But it does make things a little 
easier. For me at least. 

I'm acutely aware of how hard this must be for her. She is so protective of her 
personal life. Of her feeling and emotions. And her body. I'm amazed she let me 
do this. Strip her. She obviously trusts me implicitly. For that, I will be 
eternally grateful.

She sighs audibly as she sinks right under the water to soak her hair as well. 
Her knees pocking out. I watch, worried, she is down there a long time.

I realise her intention and grab her shampoo and as she comes up, I hand her a 
towel to dry her face.

`I don't think I have the energy to..' she nods in the direction of the shampoo 
I'm handing her. Her voice is working better than mine, I'm certain of it.

`Oh..That's OK Dana..I'll do it..' my voice suddenly very eager. She give a half 
giggle. Maybe cause it sounded high and girlie? Whatever.

`OK slave..wash my hair.' she's serious, I'm stunned and very excited. I've 
always wanted to do this. It so erotic. Sick isn't it?. I'm getting off on this. 
That little smile curves her lips, I kneel behind her. And get to work. 
Blisssssss oooo blisssss.

Lathering her hair into a bun on her head,  loving the feel of the heat and the 
softness, not to mention, her scent. This is divine. As I massarge her scalp, I 
watch entranced, as suds drain down her neck to her shoulders, and beyond. To 
her cleavage. Yes! I'm sick!

`Rinse.' I instruct bravely, she sinks slowly in front of me, I watch as she 
brings her hands up to wash away the suds then raises up again. 

Scully in water. Naked. This is all so fucking good. But that said. I haven't 
forgotten why I'm here and why I'm doing this. I'm not a `total' asshole. That's 
what you were thinking, wasn't it?

I leave her to soak, while I go out to make us a hot drink. That is a good move. 
Get my head around the next few hours. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, we have 
got to talk.

`Be back in a bit.' I give quietly. She waves her hand slowly to acknowledge me.

*********************************************************************

Returning with two cups of hot milky chocolate I settle beside the tub, cross 
legged. She opens her eyes, staring straight ahead.

Finally she turns to me. I can see she's been crying while I was gone. 

It's time.

`Dana. We need to talk. About today.' I take a sip of the sweet drink and hand 
her a mug of the same.

She shakes her head. Reluctent. I adjust my position, so she has to look at me.

`Dana?' A plea in there somewhere.

`I'm so tired..' closing her eyes. Her voice wavers only slightly.

I'm getting pissed now.

`I don't care! You are not going to throw up that wall again. I won't let you. 
Not anymore.' I know that was a little harsh. But it worked.

Shock on her face, eye like saucers. Oops.

`Mulder..Its very personal. It's very hard for me to talk... About it. 
Especially to you.' she is whispering. Her eyes flick all around the small room, 
looking at, I know not what.

`Why?' taking another sip I watch, and wait. I can see she is softening to me. 
I'm encouraged.

`Because....The last time I opened up... This is `so' hard.' her eyes close on 
the word, so.

We pause for thought. We can hear the tap dripping into the water. Sending 
ripples along the tub and back again, in ever decreasing circles.

`Dana. You trust me?. Don't you?' she nods.

`Your my best friend, and I'd like to assume that I'm yours?' smiling as gently 
as I can.

She smiles again, a little nervous. Taking a sip of her drink. Looking at me 
from under those lashes.

`Who else would wipe puke from you mouth?' I made a joke hoping it did fall 
`way' too short of the moment.

It didn't. I am rewarded with a chuckle.

Silence again. I wait till she makes contact with me again. Then I give her my 
twenty four carrot smile. I receive it back in kind.

`Talk to me.' I whisper, leaning a little nearer to her.

I hold my breath as she watches me. I'm not going to let this go. I tell her 
with my eyes.  She checks me out, scooting me over from head to toe and back. 
While she contemplates the implications of what we are doing.

She slowly rests her head on the back of the bath, closes her eyes. I realise 
I've been holding my breath. As she begins, I let it go, in relief.

`Today was horrid. I mean it was lovely, but when I held her. I thought I could 
handle it. But I was `so' wrong... It made me look at my life. What I wanted 
from it.. A career. I've got. Great!...but no life! No children, no man...'

My heart is heavy, I know how she feels. I feel the same sometimes. I get lonely 
too.
I feel myself nodding.

`No one to come home to... No one to fill my bed...' she give a hard sigh, her 
eyes close tight.

`When she died I knew it was for the best. You said she was a miracle that was 
not supposed to happen. You were right Mulder.' she pierces my eyes with hers, I 
feel pain at my words coming back to haunt me.

`But that doesn't make it any easier. And tonight, by the bridge....' she 
stopped holding back the tears, shacking her head. She's  ashamed of what she'd 
let me be a witness to.

`I never wanted you to see me like that. Like this...' she added, bluntly.

`Why does it bother you..that I see you at your lowest ebb?' cool and calm.

She snapped her head around to face me. I raise my brow. 

Questions in her eyes.

`You have seen me fall apart..why should you have the monopoly on emotional 
strength? I continued.

`Do you think, you are the only one who can be brave? Let me tell you something. 
You' are' brave,' and' courageous. But sometimes, we just have to let go. 
`Share' the burden. From now on Dana.. `you' and `me' are going to share it all. 
We are partners?' She looked stunned. I put my empty cup down, moved in very 
close.

`Jesus Dana..I don't want you to hide it all from me or yourself. If your low, 
you ring me! If you've got PMT and need to hit someone, I'm here.' she chuckled, 
this was working. She was actually smiling now. 

`And if..'  here we go, I'm shitting myself, but needs must.

`You need to talk about Emily, I'll listen. `Anytime'..I mean it. Right?' She 
gave me a slow nod, accepting my challenge.

`Now.. about the other stuff?' I trembling again. Mouths dry!!

`Other stuff?' she was lost, I can tell.

I blushed, I could feel it warming my cheeks. Nervously I wrung my hands 
together, they were clammy.

`Yeah...men..and stuff..' now she was blushing, she's more used to it though, it 
didn't seem to worry her so much. She ducked her head from my gaze. I'm not 
going to stop, I'm heating up now.

She shook off the implications of this conversation and sat up a little. Strange 
but I didn't seem to notice her breast floating on the surface of the water, but 
I do now.

`What you gonna do?. Set me up?' she shrugged.

Not realising her top half was exposed to me. She didn't seem worried.

`No..' my tone an invitation of sorts, `Not setting you up....' I was cocking 
this up, It didn't sound right.

I didn't have time to put it right before all hell broke loose. I think a tonne 
of TNT just went off.

`What!! You think I need `pity'?..Fuck Scully when she needs it?!?!' she stands 
up in the water, grabs the plug, and pulls it roughly. I stagger to my feet. 
Grab a towel and hand it to her nervously. My stomach constricting violently. I 
wanna puke now! She covers herself. I'm really screwed now.

`Dana.I..' she grabs another towel and throws it around her head. Marches out of 
the bathroom, I follow quickly.

`Dana?..'

`You bastard!..You have no idea how that feels.  Ice queen can't get laid, So I 
suppose you can do that for me! Shit I don't need this!' she is ranting, her 
Irish blood boiling viciously. My mouth open, trying to get a word in, it ani't 
working!

She is suddenly very sober, and furious. I'm such an asshole.

She is so pretty, her hair is a mess, I love her. To that, I will confess. I 
want to touch her. She has her halo in place. I grit my teeth, hard, `so' hard. 
She is drying her hair at the dressing table now. Cursing me, her God, anyone!

I'm angry with her for getting it all wrong, I'm angry with myself for not 
making it all clear. I'm not used to this. I've never told anyone I love them.

`For Christ sake Scully!..You don't get it..'

`Oh back to Scully again is it?' she snorts at me, god I'm gonna fucking hit 
something in a minute. But all in all, this is a good sign, she's letting go. 
All that shit inside, flushing from her system. It ain't good to bottle it up, 
you only get ulcers if you do.

`What don't I get?..You wanna bed me!...Poor Scully can't have her frustrated 
now can we?..Well fuck you Mulder!!'
`Dana!..I'm not like that!..I want you sure what man wouldn't?..I want you to 
tell me what you want..' 

`You couldn't take it..' she spits back at me..

`Tell me what you want!' I scream at her with venom. Which only inflates her 
more.

`Tell you?!..Tell you!??' she screams back, at my reflection in the mirror.

`YES!!!' 

Her hands on her hips she stands, paces as I sit on her bed, watching her fume.

She's humbling, she's magnificent.

`I want to wake up with someone!..in that bed!' she points to it. I nod 
furiously, understanding. Enjoying the view of my normally controlled partner, 
loosing her cool.

`I want to sit at breakfast and exchange sweet talk with someone before I head 
out!'   pacing and stopping, rubbing her brow. She's got a headache...

`I want someone to love `me'... I want to `love' someone. I want someone to make 
love to me. `Regularly'! I want sex when ever `I `want it....' she is stunning 
herself with her bluntness. But not me. Isn't this great!? She is going 
ballistic now, I'm just loving this.

`Don't stop!..your on a roll Dana!' I give with a smile on my face, my eyes 
flaring with arousal at her, she is such a turn on. So beautiful when she lets 
go.

`AArrrhhh!!' she growls at me, her fists clenching. Taking another long suck of 
oxygen, she fills her lungs and goes off again.

`I want kids... I want marriage... I want to fight with my husband and make 
up... Everything everybody else has!!' her breath runs out.

`Lets get back to the sex..' I offer sultry..she flashes me a stare, which would 
turn mere mortals to stone. She is wild now. Totally about to loose it. I love 
it. Go for it girl!! 

`Be specific!' I yell, at her, she is with me, I can see it in her eyes.

`How I want it?' she looks flustered but is going with the flow.

I can only nod. Oh God this is too delicious. The insight I want. I need. I have 
to know.

`I want...I want..' she is struggling for strength to say it. Eyes flicking from 
me to the floor, to her table, out the door, anywhere she might find it.

`Yes..you want..' I push hard, not giving up on her, not now, not ever.

`God you bastard what are you doing to me?!' she cannot believe it has gone this 
far. Or she has gone this far.

I help her out...

`Slow and tender or hard and fast?!' her eyes grow into saucers, shock and fury 
at my bluntness. My eyes are wild, my body sparking. The air in the room is 
thick with tension, I can feel it. She `must' feel it.

`BOTH!....It's been so long...Way too long!!...I'm probably sealed up by now!' 
she shakes her head in disgust at her thoughts out loud. I stifle my chuckles.

`I need to feel skin on skin... To feel another human that's `alive'... Have 
them fill me. Feel their seed fill me... I need to feel someone `else's' hands,  
on my body. I need a decent... ORGASM!' she stutters.

I can do that. No problem. I'm so high, what a woman.

I know she has something more to say, but it's sticking in her throat. She looks 
totally panicked. Her halo has slipped yet again. She has got to loose it. Just 
so she's as human as the rest of us. She stops pacing. Retracing her words. 
Grimaces.
 
Silence.

`Is this therapy Mulder?' she eventually looks me in the eye. Standing still, 
looking drained.

`The best kind.' I nod, urgently. We're not done yet.

She is nearly spent, so tired. This hasn't been easy for her.

`Sit down..' I order her gently patting the bed beside me. She waits then sinks 
beside me. Silence for a while, as I let her get her breath back.

I shift to the floor in front of her, on my knees.

She studies my face. I take her in. She's so confused by my action. I decide to 
be more direct. Especially after the cock up I made earlier, just so she does 
mistake my intentions. Not this time.

 My hands slide up to her thighs. Under her towel. I'm staring at her. My 
fingers touch the silk that is her skin. Magical. I'm hoping she's phycic. Love 
fill my eyes. I hope she understands.

`What are you doing?'  concern on her face. She doesn't move.

I ignore her.

My hands stroke and caress the unseen skin, then slowly I pull them away. I can 
see her stifle a groan of loss. I'm encouraged.

`You haven't finished have you? you still have something to tell me..'  
Whispering. I know she left something out. I know women..I know her. Better than 
she realises. I'm the psychologist for Christ sake!

She blushes and slides her eyes from mine, I pull her chin back with my fingers, 
forcing her to look at me. She knows I know. She just has to tell me. And I'll 
give her all she desires.

`Talk to me. Tell me. What you `really' want. What you need.' my voice a 
whisper. With my heart in my mouth, she watches me as my hand pulls open the 
towel. To reveal her again to me. I swoon at the same time as she. She hasn't 
shot me, or mamed me with her stare. She only stifled a groan in her throat.

I kneel up and kiss between her breasts. Tenderly.

`Mul..der?..' she is confused, my hands move to her back, and I pull her to the 
edge of the bed. With that done, I open her legs, she resists just a little, I 
will not let her back away now. I know what she needs.

My trembling hands cover her breasts for the first time, she shudders and closes 
her eyes. Frowning, trying not to show me her need. My pleasure is immense. I 
trace her nipple, so slowly. The rose bud, constrict to tiny peaks as a brush my 
thumbs over and around. She stifles a groan, way down deep in her throat. She 
braces her hands on the bed beside her.

`Tell me..' I whisper to her ear, placing a kiss on the fleshy lobe. She 
whimpers. Dana Katharine Scully Whimpered!!. I'm in heaven. She is no Ice Queen, 
she is hot, burning, scorching.

`Tell you what?' her eyes closed, one hand drifting to my hair, I don't think 
she realises what she is  doing. I don't care, she is touching me. I'm hard. 
Harder than I can ever remember.

`If.. you could have `anything'..right now..where would you want... my mouth?' 
my voice trembling with passion. I draw out my sentence for maximum effect.

I'm Kissing all over her alabaster skin, tiny open mouthed kisses, leaving wet 
trails over her scented body. she is putty in my hands. Her neck arches to 
surrender her throat to my ministrations. Love her!! I oblige.

`Oh God..' she breaths rather than says the words. My seduction is working, and 
the words, by the way her lungs are heaving.

`No time for false modesty Dana..' I kiss her stomach, roll my tongue into her 
navel, she whimpers again. I'm wicked. I know. She is clinging on.  And clinging 
to my shoulders, wanting more. She'll get it, all she has to do is let it go, 
open up to me. Fully.

I move my hands to her hips and place my lips on each bone, either side. I 
nuzzle and rub gently. She wriggles a little, her brow wrinkling. She is 
struggling with her heart and body. What to do?

 My hands slide down to her calves and my mouth, to her triangle of red curls. 
She gasps once as my breath tiggles. I grin. Then lower to her upper legs. I 
find my eyes focused hard on her reactions to me.

Kissing her thighs..she moans again.

`Ooooh.. God..' she sounds as if her inner struggle is nearly won.

`Tell..me..where..you..want..my...tongue...' I kiss and breath on her skin 
between every word, her head rolls from shoulder to shoulder. Eyes closed tight.

`I..can't..' stutters leave her, she is trying to hold on, I smell her close to 
my mouth, I'm desperate to taste her. But I'm not going to. Not till she allows 
me. I want the last brick to fall, from that fucking wall.

Shifting her position she looks down at me. Her lids heavy, flushed, I see her 
properly for the first time. She is woman. Human. Heterosexual. Not just Dr 
Scully. Sceptic and professional FBI agent. She is all of that, and a whole lot 
more. Funny really, I  have tears in my eyes as we regard each other, and this 
situation. I want to make her complete. And I will.

I continue the feather light kisses on her scented skin.

I push again..

`Tell me..babe..my beautiful Dana..' she almost crys. Rolling her head at my 
words of love. As if she knows we shouldn't be doing this.

`I can't..' 

`You can. Let it go Dana..' she humms at me..or is she purring? I hope so. I 
like that sound, very much.

Another brick topples.

`I want...want..`you'....I need... your.. mou..Nooo..'  breathy. She wants me!!, 
I thrill at her mutterings. To make it easier for her I slide my mouth into her 
tight red curls and breath slowly..

I'm so elated, Dana wants ME!! Can you believe it. Neither of us daring before 
today to admit it. But hey!..here we are.

`Je..sus  Mulder..please..' her nails nip the skin on my shoulders. Her breath 
catching. Her hands, sweet mother of God, stroke my arms and hair.

She is shaking now, her body falls back to the bed, I smile and move off her, 
opening her legs wider, to see her sex, glistening with her arousal. I've done 
this to her! Oh My. 

Time to help her out a little more. I watch her intently as gently, and oh so 
slowly I kiss her bud through her thatch of hair. I hear a inward `Arrh' from 
her. My reward.

I do it again, the slightest pressure.  She flinches suddenly.

`God..oh god please Mulder..' is she begging? She doesn't need to. 

Firmer now, I talk to her.

`Dana I want to pleasure you. I `need' to. Do you want me?' she nods, rolling 
her head on the bed from side to side. Almost sobbing with her need.

`Then say it..say it!' my kisses still tantalisingly close to her swollen sex.

`Do it!' she manages through clenched teeth.

`Do what?' I whisper quickly. She pauses, there is silence..Then she tilts her 
head to look at me between her legs. My tongue comes out to wet my lips. What a 
sod I am. Teehee..

`You bastard..'  not angry but disbelieving of her own arousal. She has that 
Mona Lisa smile on her face. Excellent!!

`Do what?' I ignore her retort.

Then the walls come tumbling down.

`Go..go down on me.' she whispers.

`What?' I tease a little more, I know she can hear me smile through my question.

`GO DOWN ON...meee..' before she  gets the last syllable out, I do as I'm told. 

She flinches as I slide the flat of my tongue from down low into her folds, 
parting them. Like I'm eating ice cream. She is so wet, I'm proud of that. Low 
and up slowly. Again and again. Then. Up higher to her throbbing clitoris and 
flick at it, four or five times. 

`Holyeee shit..' she grunts hoarsly..writhing beneath me. Continuing that rhythm 
and technic I revel in her moans and movements.

 I drink from her, I can't help it, she is delicious, I know I'm moaning with 
her. I can hear myself. I'm careful not to make it too quick. I want to give her 
the best she's ever had. I need to. My ego demands it. She has been so patient. 
So trusting. Finally giving herself to me. Totally. I know her most intimate 
thoughts and needs. I'm never going to betray that thrust.

`Mulder..Come..ing..' she stammers,  I watch her face and slow my mouth. Then 
removing my warm lips. I lick them,  she sits up on her elbows, flushed and 
disorientated. Which looks like it was a huge task for her.

`Don't fret my love..I don't want to rush this..' I tell her calmly, with as 
much tenderness as I can muster.

`You are so delicious...' I do believe she blushes even more. Her modesty rocks 
my soul. Her halo my have slipped, but she still wares it.

 My shorts are damp. I am embarrassed to say. But I came, when I first tasted 
her. Usually I have more control. But obviously not with her.

She cocks an eyebrow at me.

`Please finish me off. ` she pleads with my eyes, I nod. But before I do,  I 
help her on to the bed, to a more comfortable position, she moves with grace. 
She looks relieved I have.

`With pleasure Dana.' smiling softly to her, I see her tears coming, I loose my 
smile instantly. I shake my head at her, telling her not to.

`We've both done too much crying..' I add, to my gesture. She strokes my jaw, 
nodding. Accepting.

`I'm never gonna have enough of you..' I take a nipple into my mouth and she 
arches off the bed, grabs my head to anchor it on. I oblige for a while, 
swooping to the other. She loves this. I know now, so I make a mental note. 
Ooooh God she is writhing under me, pulsing her hips to my groin. If I'm not 
careful. I'm gonna have to take her.

So I stop on her breast, and I'm greeted with a disgruntled groan of 
displeasure, as I leave that particular part of her anatomy. But I will not 
disappoint, my mouth descends slowly over the curve of her hips to the place I 
could live, for the rest of my life.

I  open her fully, slipping a pillow under her hips. I go crazy on her, she 
throbs violently under my tongue.

`Yes..yes Mulder!..that's  incr..edi...ble. Jes..us Yes!..just..'there'..oh oh 
there..yes.' I feel her tense, So close. I stop. Holding just off her. I give 
her a wicked, evil smile. I'm loving this totally.

`Mulder..For fuck sake!' she screams at me..I can only chuckle. You know. I 
don't think she has ever looked so beautiful, as she did just then.

She is slightly sweaty, flushed from head to toe, her hair crazy on the bed, 
fists clenched. 

`Your loving this Dana..' I chastise her, knowing she is.

`Your just playing with me!' she scolded.

`No..I gonna give you the best orgasm of your life.' I give to her serious.

`Only you Mulder, would torment me like this..' 

` Moi?' I fake innocents, smiling so glib, I can feel it, this is doing wonders 
for my ego.

We study each other for a few seconds, talking without words.

`Are you comfortable?' I ask gently.

`Very..but, I would be much more so, if..' she waves her hand towards her lower 
regions. I have to laugh, we both do..

Then my mouth moves before I realise, and it's out. It was really very easy to 
say.

`God Dana Scully I love you..' I wait for her reaction, it takes a second. She 
turns serious. Her mouth twitches. Then there is a glint in her eye, one I've 
never seen before. I don't understand it.

She gives a huge smile, teeth and everything!  Tears threaten in both our eyes. 
The words never to be spoken, now bind us.

`Prove it.' soft and tender, barely spoken.

Our eyes lock, I can't look away, I swim in them, or is it drown? Either way I'm 
ecstatic.

I slip two fingers into her wet, hot core. Her mouth opens, as I do. We both 
know she hasn't sealed up.

`Fox..' my name on her lips and I cry. Why? Why did I stop her from saying my 
given name? I know now, it was the biggest mistake of my life.

 I can feel her twitch inside, she arches off the bed with the penetration.

`Heaven..' her voice quivers with emotion. I give her a slow soft rhythm, which 
she begins to ripple to, Amazing. Her hips just, ripple. Up and down. Like wave 
lapping the sand. I watch her body move, in awe of her.

My dick is hardening again. I'm ready again. How could I not be aroused by her. 
By what I'm doing to her. And how she reacts to me.

My mouth joins in again, this time however, instead of just laving her, I 
suckle. She rewards me with a inward gasp of pure delight, followed by a radiant 
smile. I'm on a journey of discovery. I'm learning, memorising.

Her languor, is setting me on fire. Her constant moans and words of 
encouragement. Making me feel very over dressed for the occasion. But I'm glad. 
If I were naked. I would have filled her with myself by now. And I would have 
missed all this.

`A little higher..' she whispers between her gasps at sanity.

My fingers oblige, her reaction stuns me. I'm wide eyed at her. She totally 
looses control, forcing my hand up her, with each thrust of her hips. On the 
deepest penetration, she grunts like an animal. 

She is women, watch her roar!

What am I doing to her? What ever I'm doing, it's working. 

`G...G..sp..ot.' she seems to understand my reaction. And explains. This piece 
of her I'll not forget in a hurry.  I feel like Casanova, the greatest lover 
ever.

She is moaning constantly now, I truly think she is going to pass out. But she 
seems oblivious to the fact that she is hyperventilating. So I suckle her 
impossibly hard bud, harder.

I feel her twitch inside, clamp on my fingers. She makes no sound, hips high off 
the bed, I go with her, not stopping.

Then it all happens at once. She cries out my name, weeps, then her body jerks 
violently, repeatedly. The crash on her senses all consuming. I believe she left 
this mortal plain, and met her maker. It looks very much like it from my 
position. 

She is trembling, covers her eyes with her hands, arching again and again. 

`Mulder. Fox. Fox..Mul..deerr.' she chants her passion at me. Like a long 
forgotten mantra. A benediction. I feel and see her climax go on and on. I keep 
on with mouth and fingers.

`My God..Fox...Ooooh..' rippling hips, breast sway, nipples pert. Flushed, 
sweaty. Hands back in my hair, clenching and relaxing with each quake ripping 
through her. I think she is trying to convey with her hands how it feels. No 
coherent words leave her. I'm proud to say, I've taken that ability away from 
her.

 I feel the last twitches, Her wet silk is hot enough to burn. Her inner lips 
caress mine as she moves and twists. Breath ragged and shallow. I don't slow 
until she gives me a sign. 

It must have been at least two minutes of bliss for her. She stays still, her 
hand rests heavy on my head. I think that's the sign.

 I slowly remove my hand from her. She moans at its loss. I like that. I want 
her to get very used to having me inside her.

Slowly, as not to jostle her, I slip onto the bed beside her, lick my lips and 
fingers of her nectar. Prop myself up on my hand an wait. Placing my hand on her 
stomach, caressing her skin. Drawing a wayward strand of hair from her brow. Her 
hands loosely covering her eyes.

I wait with bated breath for her to come back to me. 

Slowly her hands fall above her head. Her head turns towards me, then those 
glorious blue eyes focus on me. They are not just blue, they are dark sapphires, 
dilated and warm. I'm sure I see love, admiration and wonder in them. Well, it's  
all reflected back at her, through mine.

She pulls a hand down to trace my bottom lip, engrossed in it for a few moments. 
As if she is reliving what it had just been up to. Then those eyes fix on mine.

`Wow..' my Dana is congratulating me. I smile shyly.

`Your so beautiful Fox..' her voice is all warm and cosy, sated, if not a little 
raw. From all the work it has been doing over the last hour or so. I blush at 
her. I wasn't expecting that. No. I wasn't.

`Shucks!' I go all silly, joking with her. But she is thoughtful.

Her next words surprise me.

`Don't leave me tonight.'  she looks apprehensive. I can't loose my smile, it's 
a perminate fixture now.

`Dana..you don't get it do you?' she shakes her head. Her brow wrinkling like it 
does when she is confused.

`You thought what we just did was a one off,  right?' more nods.

`You have never been so wrong.' I give sincerely. Then it hits me, Jesus what if 
she don't want me.

`Unless..' my voice trembles a tad. But she jumps right back at me.

`No!.. I want this. Us. I have for a very long time.' her voice stronger than 
mine. Nearly.

`I'm just worried about..everything else..' she adds. 

`Let's not worry about `them' for now. You need to sleep. It's late.' she nods 
her eyes closing briefly, she tries to keep them open. It's too hard for her, I 
smile and I slip her under the covers. Kissing her forehead tenderly. 

When I'm sure she is comfy. I leave her room to shower. A cold one. I can wait.

*********************************************************************

I sneak back in, turning off the lights, she sighs. A smile is plastered across 
her sated face. My ego puffs up another notch. I made her feel that good. I note 
my own features in her mirror. I look the same.

I slip naked behind her, sliding my arm over her waist, whisper into her ear.

`Love ya.' God that felt good to say aloud. Uninhibited. Natural.

I thought she was asleep. I was wrong.

She turned slowly to face me. We just stared at each other. 

`I feel the same.' honest to god, I think my heart just exploded. I didn't know 
what to say. I had dreamt about this moment, but now it is here. I don't know 
what to do.

`I'm sorry tonight was a little one sided Mulder..' she blushes, from under her 
eyelashes at me.

I shake my head, unworried. 

`What are lovers for?' I whisper and peck her nose. 

`Are we?..Lovers I mean.' she enquires gently. My smile reassures her.

`Yeah we are.' I confirm. Stroking her hair. Amazed I'm finally allowed to touch 
her.

We pause with our own thoughts.

`You are remarkable.' Dana Scully smiles hard at me. I'm unsure of what she 
means.

She gives a little playful chuckle. Her small, warm hand traces my features. my 
nose, lips and rough jaw. Up to my eyebrows. My lids flutter to her tender 
touch.

`What you did to me, was a first for me.' I'm stunned, I lean back a little. To 
see her totally. Again she chuckled, at my incredulous expression, I know I have 
misinterpreted her words.

`No..I've come before...but never have I... I've never had multiple before. It 
was just perfect. `You' were perfect..' 

`Really?..multipul?...Wow...' I'm floating on a cloud.

`Ar ha' she nods. Her caress more seductive. now along my chest, she plays with 
my chest hair. What there is of it.

It's so late, two o'clock at least. I can see where this is leading. She is 
exhausted. I'm shattered too. So I stop her hand with mine.

`Dana let's sleep. I can wait..' I say sincerely.

`Are you sure?' she kisses my lips, I shudder, almost changing my mind. 

`Yeah..' I ooze, and hug her tight.

`OK you win..' she yawns and snuggles in close.

`Yep..I think for the first time in my life, I have.' I whisper, I can feel her 
lips curve to a smile against my throat.

`Kiss me?..' I feel her words rather than hear them. She tilts her head back to 
look at me. In the half light I can just make her out. I realise with shocking 
candour. That I have not kissed her properly. 

`Oh God I'm sorry Dana...I forgot..' I feel so stupid.

She chuckles at my apology. 

`I forgive you..you had other thing on your mind..' dry as a bone..

`Brace yourself Miss Scully..'  

I smother her laughter with my mouth and slip my tongue into her. 
Wow!...incredible. She tastes as good this end, as she did the other. We take it 
in tuns to explore one anothers recesses. We hum and moan. It's so right. Feels 
so bloody perfect. The suction, the rasp of tongue against tongue. Wet and warm. 
Safe.

Our hands join in restlessly. We come up for air.

We are both panting a little. 

`Mulder?..'

`Humm?' our eyes just drink each other down.

`Tomorrow..your not leaving this bed..' 

`Is that an order?' I banter..

`Oh yeah!' she nods. Drawing out the syllables seductively.

`I'm gonna have some great dreams tonight!'

`In the morning..you can tell me what you dreamt.' her eyebrows waggled. 

`Really?' I'm hard as nails again.

`Actually I can probably guess..what your going to dream of..' she whispers to 
my lips, pecking at them, as her hand slides to my cock..

`Arh..Dana..' my head falls back at her dangerous touch. I know she is smiling. 
Watching me.

`Geese..Mulder.your hung!' she sounds surprised, as she strokes me from root to 
tip, only to pause, rolling her finger around my glands. Deep joy! Deeeep joy..

`Thank..you..' I give nonchalantly. Her rhythm gets harder..her other hand joins 
in this luscious caress.

`Tell you what...You can have your dream now..or wait till I'm fully 
rested..then I can tease you mercilessly in the morning..just like you did 
tonight..what'd say?' 

`Decisions...' my voice wavers..'Decisions..'

`Tell the truth..' I add, swallowing hard.

`Please.do.' she urges me..

`I think I'd rather wait..if `you' don't mind?' I open my eyes to focus on her, 
hoping she will not mind.

A wide, closed eye smile greets me..

`Ok..I suck you dry in the morning..' 

`Dana??!!' I'm shocked..truley.

`I said you'd be surprised at what I swallow...' her eyes still closed, her 
hands comes up to my chest, her lips touch mine. And before I think of what to 
say.

`Close your eyes..I've closed mine..Sleep Fox..we got the rest of our lives to 
make love...' You know..her words lingered on my ears, like a caress. I felt 
like I was floating. Absurd really. I'm flat on her bed.  I'm truly happy for 
the first time in my life. Blissfully.

She is so pretty, I confess, I love her. I touch her. As she sleeps. Not so she 
will wake. I just need to. You can understand that. Can't you?

When you love someone..you just have to. So..I do. Until my eyes close. And I 
dream.

Sweet dreams.

*********************************************************************

Dana Scully's apartment.
Sunday 17th. 10.30am.

I can't begin to tell you where I've been. 
I'ts a long way gone. Now.

I can't begin to tell you how I feel.
My hearts so full, it's fit to burst.

It's clear blue sky.
Clear blue....Look. 

I can't remeber the last time lyrics, became my life. But those `are' my life. 
Now I'm watching him. Sending my soul to him. Wishing he was awake.

My emotions have been on a rollacoaster ride the last few weeks. The twists and 
turns, the lows and the highs. Until this morning. I woke. Mulder, Fox William 
Mulder. In `MY' bed. Hallaluya! This is defiantly a high!

As I sit, wrapped in my robe. After a well earned shower. Coffee in hand. I'm 
smiling, watching him sleep. On his stomach, sprawled over my sheets. From my 
cross-legged position, at the bottom of the bed. I remember.

I remember.

Emily..a funeral...pain...hollow...empty heart...A baptism...a 
argument...alcohol...cold...wet....disspare..Mulder...argument...Mulder...warmth
...tenderness...tears...love...skin...oblivion...sweet 
Jesus!...comfort...resurection.

I always knew, that eventually we would get it together. But as the years and 
cases went on. It seemed it would never happen. What can I tell you? 

My heart obliterated the day I found her, and lost her. Guilt. Horror. Emotional 
termoil. I built up a wall. A huge one. All around me. Protection from everyone 
and thing. Except. It was suffocating me, smothering me. Snuffing out my flame.

Mulder.

He made me see, that I needed to let go. I told him things I barley allow myself 
to utter, last night. How he managed it, I will never be sure. But he did help 
me, I believe he heald me.

A rock and pray, my eyes sting with tears. I'm not ashamed. I'm elated. I'm 
loved.

`I'm loved..' my eyes glance at him, snoring loudly, I giggle.

He made promises last night. He revealed his heart to me. For that, I'm 
grateful. Eternally. As I said. He has saved me from the spiral of self 
distraction, I was happy to sink into.

Not now. 

I don't know what will happen to us. Professionally. But as of this morning, as 
I watch him breath. I don't care. I'm happy, ecstatic. I feel as though I'm on 
Prozac. Clear blue sky, no clouds, that I can see.

It's been way too long since I have felt this good. And I'm not going to let it 
disappear like a dream in the morning. Oh no. He is here, with me. Here, we are 
going to stay.

He sleeps.

I find I'm blushing. Nothing unusual there I hear you cry!.. I'm just 
remembering.

Sweet mother of God!..His mouth on me. What can I say?..It must be illegal to 
feel something so good. Like a snort of cocaine? But it `was' legal. 

I understand what he was doing to me now. He wasn't really teasing me. He just 
wanted me, to knock down the walls and let him in. Thank god I found the 
courage.

I vaguely remember saying I wanted a decent climax. I never expected I would get 
it. Not from him. Decent..is not the word to describe what he did to me. 

I'm trying to remember how many orgasms I `did' have. When the first delicious 
quake hit me, like a sledge hammer, I might add!. They didn't stop coming, they 
went on and on, one after the other. Fire in my belly, consumed me. Lights 
flashed, the ground shook, the orchestra played. Ha. Clich?, I know, but it 
really did. I swear!

I could feel nothing except, what was between my legs, heat, the slide of his 
glorious tongue, the gentle suction on my clitoris. His slender fingers, 
caressing that tiny spot deep inside me. Oh God. Mother nature was a genius. 

I thought I knew my body well. Now I'm not so sure. I never felt anything like 
it. I confess I never expected to either. My smile grows enormous. God I 
feel!..Feel..Heavenly.

I do feel however, guilty. I'm not normally so selfish in bed. I have this urge 
to please him. Give him back a little of what he gave me last night. I did 
promise him. And I never break my promises...
Dana personal journal
Sunday 17th.

*********************************************************************

He's sprawled across my bed. The sheets loosely cover his long, strong legs. His 
back to me. He's in the recovery position. Appropriately! It was a late, 
emotional night!

I'm fascinated by his body. I've seen him naked before. But not like this. When 
I have, he usually has a drip in his arm, or his leg in plaster. Or a bullet 
wound somewhere. Not this morning however.

He's  not musclely, he's lean. Long. Toned. His back muscles are well defined. 
His thighs are big though. All that running and swimming. He is `so' fit!

His skin is a little tanned, his hairs a mess. His hands, well..there warm, 
soft. Delicate.

Oooo..I love this man. As my eyes swallow him, they reach is small, firm butt. I 
can see his manhood, relaxed and soft, between his buttocks. He's big. No scrap 
that. He is huge. I mean it!. Circumcised, something I do prefer with my lovers.

I've seen allot of men naked. Believe me. He is hung like a prize bull. I 
tingle. 

I cannot wait till he enters me. I know he will complete me, when we join. 
Notwithstanding, I'm gonna have to wait. I've got something to do first.

I've been looking long enough. Time to touch.

*********************************************************************

I know he hasn't slept this well in many a month. Tough! He can sleep tonight. 
This morning, he will have to put up with me waking him.

I suddenly get that tingle again, all over, I'm excited by the thought of 
touching him. Knowing I will not be pushed away. Not ever. My fingers flex, my 
hips move against the sheet, to suppress the sensation I feel between my legs. 
This is all so erotic. I need to please him. Love him. I have to touch, and 
taste. This previously forbidden fruit, is mine.

I'm hot. 

I undo my belt, and slip my robe off my shoulders. Looking at my body, my 
nipples are already peaked. I smile. Look what he does to me..And he's asleep!

My movements are smooth and liquid. Painfully slow. Easing the sheet from his 
legs. He moans. I smile. It's warm in my room. Cold out. I don't care. My 
intentions are primal. Carnal. 

I don't intend to be reckless. I intend to be painfully slow. I've waited for 
this moment for..years. I'm not going to be rushed.

He is totally exposed from head to toe. Where to start?..I rub my hands 
together, with glee, and to warm them. My grin is fixed. 

He is gonna scream my name! I `will' not stop..till he does.

Gently, slowly I settle between his open legs. My hands either side of his 
beautiful body, lean up to place, a tiny kiss on his cheek turned to me.

He smiles. Closed eyes. 

`Hey..' he whispers, his tone sugar coated grit. Starts to move to face me. 

`Stay still baby..' I whisper back, a sexy as I can muster. I think he was just 
waiting, while I was musing about us, at the end of the bed. How sweet.

My  mouth close to his ear I whisper again, making sure my warm breath wakes him 
with a delicious thrill.

`Dana?' he oozes..cosy and soft. He opens his eyes.

`Close your eyes..Fox..just feel...' kisses on his ear and neck, I see him do as 
he is told. Moans quietly. He licks his lips. A hand twitches, just a tad. 

`Let me make love to you..' kissing his shoulders, I draw one hand along his 
outstretch arm, goosebumps rise. My fingertips feel alive. He shudders..

He nods slowly.

`It's alright baby..' I suck seductivly on his ear, with extreme caution.

`I gonna make you love me..' my tongue licks from one side of his shoulder, 
across to the other. An inward gasp from him, and a lift of his hips. I guess he 
is waking up now. Teehee.

`I..all..ready do..' he whispers, strained.

My heart leaps in my chest. 

`Shhhh..' I soothe, hands into his hair I squeeze his scalp a little, he rolls 
his head, lips sprinkle tiny kisses down his spine, he flinches. My tongue licks 
and flicks at the fine bones and muscles which control it. My hands copy my 
mouths movements. He shudders again. I love this. Him at my mercy. I reel at the 
arousal of my body. And his.

`Beautiful...' he tells me plainly. His hips lift a little more until he lays 
flat on his stomach, head into the pillow. I blaze fire along his back with 
lips, tongue and hands, featherlight, slow, deliberate.

`Yes..you are..' 

`Ohh.' a little moan escapes his throat, making me smile.

`Feels good?' he nods.

I finally reach to his butt, my breath ragged, he smells so masculine, clean and 
oh so like Mulder.

It clenches as I slide my small hands over the soft mounds. 

`That's good Fox.. I love your ass..it's all mine..' I ooze, kissing the soft 
flesh.

`Dana..' an implore for sanity from him. 

I run my index finger along the crevice between his buttocks, tantalising the 
hairs.

`OH GOD!' he yells into the pillow. He shifts impatiently under my touch. I'm 
elated. I'm doing this to him.

`I've got a head full of idea's Fox..all of them, have your pleasure at the 
core...' kissing the backs of his thighs. I hold his hips to the bed, as I lean 
back and lick down one side of his long leg, only to go up the other side. The 
hairs caress my cheeks. He wriggles again.

His toes flex, his hips lift again, he is as stiff as a railroad spike. Bliss.

`I'm gonna make a mess on your sheets if you don't stop..' he chuckles, a little 
embarrassed.

Constant kisses and licks over him. Everywhere I want to touch. I'm devouring 
him.

`We can't have that now can we?...Turn over..' I move back so he can, slowly he 
does. Oh bliss. I thought his back was good but holy shit!. I was wrong. Way 
wrong!

He's blushing,  I purr at the sight of him straining towards me..

I'm lost in my arousal. His arousal.

`Impressive Agent Mulder..Very impressive..' I soothe his embarrassment. I give 
him that grin,  I know he hates, the Mona Lisa one. I think he loves it now. My 
appreciation of his body very obvious. His hands gravitate towards me and he 
trys to touch me.

`Oh no you don't..my turn to drive `you' crazy..' like a cat, I stretch out, to 
be face to face with him, over him, not touching him. 

`No touching..' I instruct, he gives me a pout. Arches up, to reach my very wet 
core.

`Do you want me to have to cuff you?' dry, yet serious.

`Would you?' he looks a little stunned. I have to smile harder, our eyes search 
each others.

`I'll have no option if you keep on..But, if you keep you hands to yourself.., 
I'll be bad.' sultry as hell. Eyes flaring at him.

`Oh God Dana..how bad..?' he manages, kissing his face, nose, eyes, everywhere 
but his lips.

`Very..very bad.' oozing promises.

His eyes roll up to his lids, turns his head from me, as if I'm too hot to face.

`I'm gonna explode!' he gushes suddenly. My mouth never very far from his 
lucious body.

`No your not..not till I let you..' my voice strong and sultry. god I'm so wet, 
my pussy is throbbing.

My hands and mouth snake down his torso, I find a nipple and suckle, he writhes 
under me..

`Jesus..' breathy and hoarse. Control spooky my love..

Grabbing the bars of my head board for support. I grin wickedly. 

`Good boy..keep them there..' 

He nodds desperately.

Swirling my tongue into his navel he trembles, I'm getting closer to my goal. He 
knows it. I work my mouth around his hard throbbing cock  and I kiss around it, 
onto his thighs. Avoiding it completely. Bitch hey? 

`OH God please Dana..Go down on me..' I do believe he is begging. Fox Mulder 
begging! Incredible. I never thought he would.

`I intend to..when I'm ready..' 

`Oh oh..' moans ring in my ears..he is trembling, his whole body shakes with is 
need.

`I need to know some things first.' a whisper.

`What..What do you need to know..yes!' I kiss his balls, only just to give him 
something before he has a aneurysm.

I stop.

`I can see you have control..But I need to know how much..If I lick your 
precious cock, will you come?'

`Maybe...I'm not sure..probably...' he's waffling.

I'm breathing on his hot tip now, watching his face intently. His eyes slammed 
shut.

I lift up a little..

`Open your eyes Fox..look at me.' he does, barely..

`I want this to be incredible for you..like it was for me..last night..' he 
nods, hands gripping the bars behind him.

`It already is. You are...Beleive me..' gushing..I have to smile, he is almost 
adolecent.  A quivering wreck under me.

I know what I'm doing. I'm letting his ardour slip back a little. Preparing the 
way.

`After you cum Fox..do you stay hard?' I need to know. It make a difference, 
honestly. 

`For a while..why?' I smile..ignoring his question.

`How soon after, are you ready for more?' sultry..I lick my lips in 
anticipation, my plans taking shape in my brain.

`Five..ten..min..utes..' his breath catching as I lick his glands once..

`Jesus!' arching to my mouth. I smile.

`Quick reload then?' he smiles..

I watch his face quiver as he watches me, lick from his balls up his immence 
shaft to the tip and swirl my tongue around it's top and stop.

His eyes slam shut. He moans. I moan. the heat from him is intense. I'm 
trembling now. I don't now why some women dislike this act. Me. I love it. It's 
not the power you have. It's not subservient. To give your lover so much 
pleasure, if you love them, truly. It's a act of reverence. Trust. Intimate. The 
ultimate gift.

His crown is red hard, glistening with forecome, waiting for me to taste. I 
wriggle with my own pleasure now. The time has come to give him what he has been 
dreaming of.

`Ok..Fox..your in for the ride of your life..' my sentence, makes him sob once, 
harshly.

I lower my head, open my mouth, relax my throat and take him as deep as I can 
stand. Clamp around his width, and hold still for a few seconds. My hands on his 
hips, holding him to the bed, firmly. I don't want him to thrust, he doesn't god 
love him! My inner muscles twitch, as if he has just entered me. Control Dana..

His head rolls from side to side on my pillow. his mouth open, he is trying to 
hold still. He is doing a grand job. I pull up slowly, with suction, to his tip. 
and sink him into my throat again. Slow and tenderly.

`Scul...Dana..Oh Dana..Dana..' my teeth join in on the next stroke, tenderly.

This impossibly slow stroke, making him frustrated, he grimaces with the need 
for more.

I'm amazed at his features. He looks incredible. A little boy lost. I'll find 
him.

I pull off him and smile his eyes flutter open. 

`Dana..' his eyes almost make me weep, the love in them directed at me is over 
powering. 

`Nice?' I offer light.

`Perfect.' he give me back quickly.

`Liar..' I chastise.

I open his legs wider,  jostling his testicle in my hand, soft and hard at the 
same time, I play to find the spot between his anus and balls. He is so 
sensitive, he arches hard when I touch it and apply more pressure to it. To 
stimulate his prostrate.

`You clever girl..you know what your doing..don't you?' his mouth is dry, he 
licks his lips. gritting his teeth..His muscles flex on his chest and arms.

`I did pass my Anatomy exam with flying colours..' sexy and wanton. My hand 
play's idlely.

My mouth descends again, I apply more pressure with hand and lips, sucking 
lapping, kissing. He is close, so close. So am I. I push my own arousal aside 
for now. This is for him.

`Deep fucking joy..' he huffs out..

I continue, watching waiting. Waiting, patiently. My head bobbing luciously. I 
can taste him. not full yet, but I'm so eager to.

`Come..ing..' he warns me, I need to concentrate now.

I feel him grow harder in my mouth, his neck arches, as do his hips. His velvet 
covered steel shaft about to explode. His hands gripping the bars above his 
head. 

It is apon him. Wait.wait..not yet...Now!

Gripping the base of his shaft, I squeeze hard, my mouth continues to work him 
to a frenzy. He is lashing his legs either side of me.

`DANA!  OH DANA!' loud enough to make Mrs Petry wake from her nap, next door. 

I think we can take that as `screaming my name' Don't you? Harhar..

He comes, hard and fast. Pulsing. No seamen. I've stopped that. But his climax 
rocks him to the core. He looks unbelievable. Gorgeous. He thrusts gently into 
my mouth, I cradle him, hot in my wet soft , loving mouth.

He looks confused at me, as he comes down from his high. He knows he climaxed, 
but no seed. He's panting heavily. I remove my mouth and my grip. Lick my lips, 
he is still painfully hard. Flabbergasted. He looks flabbergasted.

`What are you doing to me..I've never felt..' I have to smile, proud and sexy.

`Did I hurt you?' my hands stroking his hot thighs.

`No..no..' he shakes his head as if he is trying desperately to clear his foggy 
mind.

`Dana..I want that again..I feel like I can..do it again..' I nod. 

`Little trick I learnt..you like it then?' now who's gloating..I tell myself. So 
I can teach the sex god a thing or two. Ha!

`Your amazing' 

`I know.' he laughs at me. My ego all puffed up and filling my chest.

We gaze at each other for a few moments. He is in awe of me. And I like that 
very much.

`Dana?' he's embarrassed to ask. I can tell.

`Yes?' I say quietly..

`What..where did my..?' 

smiling tenderly, I slide down to his cock again. Licking it once, he winces 
with pleasure.

`It's still there..I just stopped it.' explaining..

`Oh..' he understands. 

`Again?' my mouth hovering just above his purple wet cock.

`Please..' he urges..with a nod. Face flushed.

`Fox?' 

`Yeah?' 

`Just let go..don't hold back..I want to taste your essence..OK?' I'm a little 
embarrassed I'm being so open. He does this to me.

`sure?'  he offers tenderly.

`I'm sure..'

`OK my love..' 

I bring him to another precipice. He grabs my hand and squeezes as he lets it 
go. I feel him tense, and relax, erupt forcefully in my throat, I swallow with-
out reservation. Mulder, sweet salty, and me. A miraculous concoction. 
Delicious. I do in fact suck him dry. And clean him up.

My inside are liquid. My own need hits me hard, as he settles. His body still 
shacking and jarring.

I lean back on my heals. Close my eyes. I'm so close, Mulder fills my senses I 
can't hold back. My right hand slips quickly to my ache, and with practised 
fingers, I stroke my clit, once, twice, I erupt in front of him.

Steadying myself with my free hand. His eyes wide at me doing this, he sits up. 
I feel his hands on my face, as my orgasm sweeps over me like a tsunami. 

`Mul..der..' I manage, between the waves, open my eyes, to see him again.

`Oh Scully..let me do that for you...' he whimpers...he's too late. I don't 
mind. 

`It's..It's Ok..the storm's passed..' breathy and sated, I fall against his 
chest. He holds me, and me him. Tight.

He takes me down to lay back over him. His heart pounds in unison with mine.

Silence. 

We sleep. Yet again. We're not teenagers anymore!

*********************************************************************

I don't know, or care, how long we slept. But we did. Peacefully. But when I 
stirred.  My head nestled in the crook of his neck, my legs either side of his 
hips. I lifted my head slowly to look at him. He's got wicked grin on his face. 
I can `feel' why.

I return his smile with mine, raising my brow, seductivly, giving my hips a 
little wiggle. Just to let him know I can feel him, hot and hard, pushing into 
my sex.

`Oooo lover..leeey..' he chuckles, taking in a breath.

We kiss, hard, frantically, moaning groaning. Grinding my hips to him. I shift 
restlessly against him. His hands on my face. Framing me. As if he thinks I'm 
going to stop. I'm not.

Finally I can't stand the tension. I have to merge with him.

`Mulder..I..' I'm loosing my train of thought. Thank god he understands me! My 
need.

`I know..take me..' insistence in his voice..pleading with my eyes, I ask if 
he's sure. He just lifts his hips up to me again.

`I need you..deep in me..' gasping. I'm rampant..I don't think I'll ever get 
enough of him.

`Take..Me..' I think he is imploring `me' now. Sweet isn't it?

I'm a little scared..he is so huge..I'm so small..so I take a deep breath, the 
permission has been given. I can't resist.

I open my legs a little more, lean up off his chest just a bit. Reach between 
us, to take him in hand. He reads my mind. Or maybe my anxciousness is visible 
on my features.

`Gently..Dana..' I can only nod. Neither of us want to feel any discomfort.

We both tremble, his hands slide to my breast. Oh God he is strumming me like a 
guitar. We lock eye to eye. As I settle him at my entrance. I wet his velvet 
shaft with my slickness. He watches me do this. No turning back now. We both 
need this.

`Yes..oh yes babe' I'm biting my bottom lip..

He lays perfectly still. I appreciate him for it. 

I lower myself very gently, his glands open me, I know my eyes have closed. I 
can feel him throbbing. My breathing laboured. His steady, inhale exhale. He's 
watching me. I can feel his eyes on me. Burning, urging.

I'm ready. I flutter my eyes open, and sink him inside me. I cannot describe the 
feeling. He is like the last missing piece of me. I knew he would complete me. 
He does. His head rolls back. As does mine. Neither of us move. For minutes. 
It's all too perfect. We have found a truth. 

I'm full. I can feel every millimeter of him. And I'm sure he can of me. He sits 
up a little, to take me in his arms, the movement, allows him to touch me and me 
him. And we do touch. My breast brush his chest, our hands dance back and forth 
over heated skin. Devouring each other. Memorising every curve. 
 
`God I've missed this..' I croon.

`I'm home..' he whispers in my hair. I know what that means. I feel the same. 
Tears come to my eyes, I can't stop them. I don't want to. I lean back a tad. 
And he is in the same state as me. We both smile and cry. Not sad , but for joy.

I begin to move, gently at first. We humm and arh at the coupling. He 
reciprocates gently. Laying back to the bed, he holds my hips, then my breast. 
His thumb slides to my clitoris, stroking slowly my moisture over it. Helping me 
along.

`Good..yes..Mulder..good.' I'm noding at his attention to detail.

I clench my inner muscles, he gasps loudly at the sensation. Arh!?..he likes 
that..So I give him my rhythm, with the pull and thrust of those muscles inside.

It's not long, I'm bursting to come. But I'm waiting for him. Barely..

`Let go babe..' he tells me..he knows. god he knows. So I do. I rock myself to 
heavens door and open it. Crashing around his body, I convulse. Too bloody long 
I've denied myself this. 

Sublime ecstasy.

There's nothing quite like a climax when your filled completely. Your muscles 
twitch on the friendly invader. The slickness making it all so easy and fluid. 
The electricity shoots up and down your back, till your dizzy with it. Warmth 
spreads to every cell you possess. Over and over. For seconds..but it seems like 
hours. 
 
`My love..my love..oh Fox..fox..' 

He eases up me slowly to highten my rapture. As I cry out..I don't know what I'm 
saying. I don't care. My arms and legs give out and I slump to his chest. He 
strokes my back, slick with perspiration. A lovers caress. Holding me close. 
Before he speaks, he waits for my breathing to return to some sort of 
normallity.

`Feeling better?' he says tenderly sarcastic.

`Bugger..' I banter back and flick my hips hard on his still ridged cock, 
impaling me.

`Ow!' he yelps. Then chuckles.

To my surprise, he grabs me so tight and rolls me under him, then thrust hard 
into me. I gasp not with pain but sheer delight.

` Fox..Oh yeah!..' pulling nearly all the way out, he rams back into me. Taking 
my breath away. And again, And again. The rhythm madingly slow but exquisite.

`You feel so hot, Dana..I can feel you massaging me...' He kisses me with every 
return thrust, licking my dry lips, for me.

His hands lift my legs, one at a time, till they are wide. I'm  open to his 
thrusts as I can possibly be. He continues. I can do nothing but surrender to 
the pleasure. He's wild with desire, but somehow he has control.

 He's not hurting. But loving me so hard, it's almost painful. His manhood, wide 
and long enough, to endanger life. I swear my organs are jostling for space in 
my body!

His wicked length jabbing  my cervix. Causing me to shudder and tremble, I can't 
watch him. I can't. I want to. It's impossible for me to.

`Keep on..keep on doing it..' my words feeble with my failing voice. He leaves 
me, I feel as though my body is empty. Devoid of something vital. I'm hear 
myself moaning.

`Your wonderful..' he whispers as he turns me onto my stomach, I groan at his 
loss. But he lifts my hips and slides back in, from behind. He groans hard and 
long.

`Oh my God..fan..tas..tic..' he is pumping me mercilessly now. I can't keep up 
with his rhythm, it's feral. I feel his fingers find my tight, swollen bud and 
he pinches it, viciously. I come instantly, clamping on him inside, with such 
power and speed. Like a train, I hurtle to sweet oblivion. He jerks and crys out 
my name..Almost a plea to stop.

`ARRHH..' I'm screaming with bliss. Can you die from this much ecstasy?

 I push back onto the object causing this sensation. How did he know, how to get 
me off again so quickly?

He pulls me with him as he settle on his ankles, I'm a rag doll in his arms. I 
don't believe his control. I'm truly amazed he hasn't come yet. I know he has 
been holding back for me. He has no need to. I'm `completely' satisfied. I can 
feel he isn't finished with me yet. What a lover, I've got myself messed up 
with! Lucky or what?

He slows to a tender fuck. Much more gentle. I'm still orgasmal. He lifts me up 
a little and lets gravity lower me. I'm moaning constantly. It's unreal.

`Love you Dana..' his mouth close to my ear, peppering my cheeks and throat with 
his kisses. My hands, absentmindedly lift to his head behind me. Caressing.

`Oh fox..' I mumble almost inaudibly.

Seconds turn to minutes, to tens of minutes. We stay joined. As one.

He lifts me off him and lays on his back, we are not talking now, we don't have 
to. The connection we always shared in our professional life, is here in our 
personal life. We're relieved it's here too.

I straddle him, my back to him, turning my head to watch his face, watch his 
member, disappear and re-appear from my body. We're both dripping with our love 
making. I make love to him now, he gasps,

`Tight..' 

`Yeah..wet..' I offer my thoughts..

`Slick..perfect..' he finishes..rolling a finger over my tattoo. Jesus!. I 
forgot about that!..

Things need to be said. I know his mind is pondering Ed Jerse.

`I didn't sleep with him..' I struggle to get my thoughts in order..And my vocal 
cords.

`You didn't?' He sounds confused. Almost disbeleiving.

`No..I don't commit adultery..' bluntly, tenderly. I meant that to be a 
sarcastic quip. But we did have an unwritten law, not to bed anyone. Well I made 
my own law. Wishing he kept his unspoken promise to me.

`Dana..I slept..' I interrupt him, slow my movements and raise off to face him. 
And impaile myself again. I'll never have enough of him inside me. Face to face. 
I start to rock him again. Gentle thrusts.

`I know..I read the file..Kristen..' his chin waivers, he cannot look at me. I 
soften to his state.

`Oh baby..Fox...It was a long time ago. your forgiven.' I smile and plant a kiss 
on his chest. Not that he needed absolution, but I gave it anyway. I did a long 
time ago.

`I'm so sorry..' 

`I know..It's Ok really.' Kissing his eye lids. I smile to comfort him.

`You were gone, I was so scared I wouldn't see you again..and..' 

`Shhhh...water under the bridge.' my finger pressed to his lips to hush him. 

Silence, as we rock and sway. Regarding each other, loving each other. He seems 
happyier now he knows, I know about Kristen.

`She was crap' he gives me as a tipbit..I have to grin.

`Not like us..' he adds tenderly.

`Shhh..' kissing his fleshy lobes. He nods, realising it has nothing to do with 
us, not now.

We roll over to reverse our positions and again we climb. This time, however, 
he's coming with me. 

Tenderly, slowly, watching each other. He has no intention of rushing, neither 
have I.

Although my body is humming, I need more stimulation in this position. I hope he 
knows, I'm about to put my hand between us to do it myself. He knows!, 
understands,  don't ask me how. I know it's an impossible manoeuvre, but he 
manages to find my clit and stroke me, timing it perfectly. Our movements are 
gracefull, elegant. We're not fumbling around here. We seem to know exactly what 
the other needs to throw each other off the escarpment.

I'm gasping for control, his eyes are wet with emotion, I know I'm already 
weeping. Tears rolling down my cheeks, we watch one another. Climbing the 
mountain, I find his free hand and entwine fingers..

I cry  out for him to join me..barely capable of keeping my eyes on him. He 
explodes into my womb.

Fucking incredible.

There's nothing like it, to match the rush, a woman gets from taking a mans seed 
deep inside. It's to posess them totally. Make them yours. Utterly.

Once, twice, three times he fills me, I'm pulled along on his waves of ecstasy. 
I can feel my climax milk him, and he me. We are one. Swimming, drowning in the 
rapture. Hands, bodies, minds, hearts, till finally, souls merge.

 Do you know how that feels? I hope you do.

My legs draw up his and down. My insides liquify, are chests heave with the 
effort of breathing. Lights flash infront of my eyes. My head thumps with the 
blood coarsing through my temples. 

Slowly..oh so slowly, we stop moving. Involentaraly he jerks. I clench hard on 
him as I float slowly to the ground. Sublime. 

I feel him finally wither inside me. And slip out, he rolls with me onto our 
sides, to face each other. We wipe the tears away from our faces.

`Oh God Mulder...That.. was, we were... Hell..'  I don't no how to express, how 
I feel at this moment.

`Not hell' he corrects me weak and tired.

`Heaven..' 

I can only nod, feebly. I'm all done in. So is he. We rest, outrageously 
Knackered!!

`Has sex ever been this fantastic for you Dana?' I digest his words, his tone 
interested and yet a little causious.

`No never..' honesty my only option.

`Me neither..'  

We lounge in the after glow. My body is still sparking. The euphoric feelings 
dissipating very slowly, I`m glad to admit. I will not forget this night and 
morning for a `very' long time, I don't think either of us will.

`I don't think it was `just' sex though..' I add after a few minutes.

`Making `love' you mean..' he knows me too well.

`Yeah..' smiling lazily.

Quiet. We can hear the world outside my walls pitter patter by. Cars and people 
about there business. Inside however. Our own world exists. Just the two of us.

I'm interupted by a loud stomach growl from Mulder.

`your hungry?' I stroke his jaw.

`Always am..' 

`No!?..Really?' I say sarcastically.

`Don't be cheeky!' 

I poke my tongue out at him and he grabs it with his mouth and sucks hard...it 
hurts a bit..

`Oww..ulder..op it..' I try to get free, giggling. He doesn't let me go. So I 
tiggle him. Then he does. Ha Got him.

Frantically he tries to stop me, I'm like a rash, I'm all over him. We are in a 
fit of giggles..Writhing all over the bed and getting twisted in the rumpled 
sheets. He flips me off his body. Holds me down, blowing hard, with his open 
mouth on my stomach, holding my hands above my head. I can't help but scream 
with laughter. Geese this is fun.

`Stop it you..stop arh! stop it!' the silly noises my skin is making, cracks us 
both up. 

Then as I'm under him, I hear a noise we both stop dead,  look at my bedroom 
door, which has just swung open, wide.

*********************************************************************

`Ssshitt!... Mum?!' Mulder leaps off me, and we struggle to get our composure, 
pulling the sheets over us. Fighting for the best bit, to cover our naked 
bodies. And our sweaty, love scented skin, I might add. Deep embarisment!

`Dana!..Fox!?..Ohmygod.. I'm sorry..' my mother is more distrort than me. At 
being caught frolicking on my bed. Obviously just finished doing the wild thing.

`Mum..what?..I..We..we're..' I'm pickled, I can't help but laugh out loud, 
hysterical, at my mums face, and Mulder's. Brilliant!!

`Hi Mrs Scully..' Mulder waves to her with pure terror on his face. The sheet 
pulled up tight to our chins.

`Hello Fox..I came over to see if everything was..I see it is..' my mum is so 
brilliant. She is trying so hard not to be embarrassed, she's failing badly.

I stop laughing long enough to speek.

`I'm fine Mum..really..' I give honestly.

`Yeah she is `now'..' Mulder adds sexy. Christ Mulder you bugger. Can you 
beleive it?!

I elbow him, he withers, my mum smiles..

`I'll put the kettle on..' turns and closes the door quietly. We both look at 
each other and giggle.

`Quick!..Get that tight ass of your out'a' my bed, get dressed, keep my mum 
company.' I instruct, I leap from our bed and fumble for my robe. totally 
flustered.

Yes..it's `our' bed now.

`Scully?..have you gone insane?'  my head snaps around as I tie my robe on.

`What?!' 

`She'll give me the third degree!' he winces.

`No she won't..she's glad. Beleive me..' I rake my hands through my messy hair.

`She woun't mind?.. I've been..you know?' he jestures to our bed. To what we had 
been doing for the last..two and a half hours!!..Core!

`No!..Now get going..Please..' I implore.

`Dana..I messed my cloths up last night..' he is embarrassed. God knows why.

`What are you talking about?' I'm trying to find his stuff. Nervously he sits on 
the edge of the bed.

`I...'Messed' them `up'..' he opens his eyes wide, to get me to understand his 
inflection.

`When?' still baffled. 

`When I `tasted' you..last night..' he is blushing. God love him. Now I 
understand. I can be a little slow sometimes, but I usally get there in the end. 
I walk slowly to him and kiss his lips, holding his face in my hands.

`Really?..you came when..?' he nods shyly. Must me a macho thing.

`Your so `sweet' when your embarrassed.' I giggle. He rolls his eyes at me. 
Arrrr..

`Here..put these on..' I rummage in my draw for my night boxers. They will fit 
him..just..I hope. Then grab my old Quanico sweatshirt. Handing it to him. 
Releif on his face.

`Oh you have saved my life..' he dresses quickly.

`No..'you' have saved mine..' sincerley.

We stare, then I clap my hands to get him moving..

`Go..Go!' 

`OK..OK..' we wonder out casually, I slap his butt as he leaves me. He jumps. 
flicking me a naughty smile in disgust.

`I've always wanted to do that..' I confess. Such a vamp. chuckling.

*********************************************************************
Scully's kitchen
2.00pm Sunday.

`Arh ..there you are Fox..Is she really Ok?' she busies herself with something 
to eat. While Scully showers.

He plonks himself down on the kitchen chair.

`Yeah we did alot of talking. We sorted things out. We're both very `fine'.' She 
hands him a coffee, which he gulps down. His stomach growls again. Loudly.

`Sandwich?'

`Please..' he's eager to eat something.

He helps her out with bits and bobs. Finally they both sit and eat.

`You have a wonderful daughter Mrs Scully..' he gushes, not realising how 
childish it sounded, till he heard the words.

`Yes..she is very special..' he nodds, Margaret is delighted he said that.

`Oh..I drove her car here..The police pounded it. And called me..next of kin. 
They told me what happened at the bench. I'm so pleased you got to her Fox..' 

`Me too..believe me..' more behind his words than he needed to convey.

Margaret chuckled, he blushed slightly.

`How drunk was she?'

`Very..' 

`Tequila?'

`Yep..she doesn't seemed to have a headache though..' he looks bewildered at 
that. She did down a whole bottle including the `worm'! Yuck!!

`No.. well, she's got a consitution like a Ox. Just like her father!' Margaret 
chuckled remebering fondly.

`Mrs Scully..are you Ok about Dana and me?..I mean.'  he frowns, it doesn't 
sound right. She reaches for his hand and wiggles it tenderly..

`I'm so pleased for you both..You know Melissa always said you two would get it 
together one day?'

`Really?'

`Oh Yes..she told Dana to get her finger out. Do something to speed things 
up,...but you know Dana!' 

`Yeah..I do..' 

`I do love her Mrs Scully.' 

`I `know' you do Fox..and for Gods sake! call me Margaret!' finishing her 
sentance with a huge smile. He knew where Scully got it from now.

`Ok..Margaret.'

The sandwiches finished, they sat talking about recent events, till Scully 
walked in. Showered, clean, hair kemp and dry. With a huge smile on her face. 
Jeans and a tight jumper hugging her petite figure. Mulder gave her the once 
over. Stunning he mused.

`My god Dana, Your glowing!' her mother commented on her daughters stature. 
Making her blush a little. Mulder looked so proud of her.

She walked up to him, put her arms around his shoulders. And sat on his lap. 
Pecking his cheek. No hesitation to show her affection. He was glad to be on the 
receiving end.

`Am I?..well I have him to thank for that..' his arms snaking protectively 
around her waist. His chin resting on her shoulder. Her eyes shining at him, 
then to her mother.

`So..Mum..why did you come over...?' 

`Weeelll.. I brought back your `car'.  And..Mulder didn't call this morning, so 
I got worried. You didn't answer your door.. so I let myself in. The phone was 
off the hook.'

Mulder looked at Scully, he was sure he had put it on last night. 

`I unplugged it this morning..' Scully smiled at Mulder, now he understood. He 
squeezed her a little tighter. Unperceptably to Margaret.

`Thanks Mum for everything..I realy appreciate all you have done..both of you..' 
both Margaret and Mulder drew themselves huge smiles.

`Now about you and Bill?' scully raised her hand, to stop her mum from going 
off.

`I'll ring him..I know I shouldn't have hit him, but he was being such a shit!' 
Mulder's mouth feel open. 

`Dana!' a seveer chastise at her daughters naughty word.

`Weeelll..' Scully drooled, not sorry for her harsh word.
 
`You hit your brother?' Mulder shocked. Scully nodded shyly.

`It wasn't the first time Fox, Let me assure you. It probably woun't be the 
last! He `can' be a bugger sometimes..' Margaret added. Actually happy Dana hit 
him. Or she would have.

`Well I better go..I can see you are in the best of hands..' Margaret stood and 
got ready to go. the lovers stood as well.

`The best Mum..' she took Mulder's hand and he stood behind her as she said good 
bye to her Mum. Who gave them both a kiss on the cheek.

`Ring me Dana..' handing her , the keys to the car.

`I will..thanks again..bye.' 

`Bye Margaret..'
 
`Bye Fox' giving them a glorius smile. Scully closed the door.

She turned to Mulder and kissed him hard and passionately. He gave as good as he 
was getting. Tongues jostle for the best position and tastes. Finally they came 
up for air.

`You go shower..and I'll get us some lunch..' whispering to his ear.

He grabed around her buttocks and pulled her into his growing erection. She was 
stunned..

`As long as we can eat it in bed.' his sultry tones, making her weak kneed.

`I wasn't serious about not letting you out of my bed, all day Mulder..?' 

`You gave me an order, and I'm going to follow it..' he said very serious.

She had to stifle a groan of pleasure, as he rubbed his erection against her 
clothed pussy.

`Are you insatiable?' 

`Yes!.. while I have you..' he was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

`Well you got me..So you better start pacing yourself..I've got a hell of a lot 
of making up to do. Five years..to be presice!' 

`I can handle anything you throw at me..' sticking his chin in the air 
defiantly.

He slipped his hand to the button on her jeans and unzipped them.

`What are you doing Mulder?' 

`Giving you something to be getting on with while I'm in the shower..' pulling 
her jeans and pants down, he sank to his knees in front of her.

`Oh God Mulder..your so fucking good..' she kicked off her jeans.

`Potty mouth!'

He parted her legs a little, and got to work. It didn't take long. She rocked 
almost falling as she came, he held her tight not letting her fall. Milking her 
of every bolt of lightning. Pushing her into his mouth urgently. something she 
was reluctant to do, although she wanted to. 

`Lovely..' stammering relaxed and flustered.

He stood, his hands on her shoulders waiting for her to open her eyes.

`You cook....then get that sexy, hot body on that bed..spread your legs, and 
wait for me..to come home.' he kissed her forehead and left her standing there. 
Dazed and throbbing. His imagery sexy, his last words, making her love him even 
more. If that were, at all possible.

He hadn't forgotten one of the things, she'd told him, she wanted last night. 
Someone to come home to. Someone to come home to her.

They're both `home'. 



END.