Title: May You Find Some Peace Tonight
by the Jedi Shipper
Rated: PG-13
Spoilers: No
Category: CD- That’s character death ::ducks Rotem’s
flying UFO’s:: I’m sorry!!
Summary: Mulder watches Scully and wishes he can ease
her pain, and maybe he can.
Archive: I’d be honored. Keep my name attached and
tell me where it is!
Dedications: To my best friend Chris who left me all
those years ago. I still love you.
Feedback: _"mailto:JediShipper@yahoo.com"_
Author's Notes: I’m sorry. I promised I’d never to
this. I didn’t want to. It popped into my head and
wouldn’t get out. I wanted it out.
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine.

Fox Mulder watched as his partner got ready for bed.
He knew her well enough to know that she was on
overdrive, she was only going through the motions.
There was no life left in Dana Scully’s once vibrant
blue eyes.
She looked up, into the mirror, finding a distorted
picture of the woman she had been just a few short
days ago. Her skin was a sickly white and she seemed
impossibly thinner even though he knew she could not
have lost weight already. It was just in the way she
carried herself. He had never seen her like this.
She’d held so much strength in her slender form that
it was hard to believe this vulnerable woman in front
of him was the same person. Her eyes were drawn, red
from crying. There were puffy black bags beneath them
as he knew she had not slept in days.
"Damn you Mulder," she said in a whispered, haggard
voice. "Why? Why did you leave me alone?"
"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Scully," he said coming to
stand beside her. He knew that she couldn’t hear him.
He knew that she couldn’t see him. He longed to be
able to comfort her. He longed to be able to hold her.
For all the longing in the world he couldn’t do those
things. Not now.
She opened her hand to reveal his badge. The only
thing she had left of him aside from the things still
in the basement office. She hadn’t had the strength to
go back there. Everything else had been taken away by
his mother or kept as evidence. The badge was the only
thing she had rights to. The only thing of his that
rightfully belonged to her. All she had left was a
picture, his signature and the memories that belonged
to that badge. She could still hear his voice,
"Special Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI," on countless
cases.
Suddenly, angry at the tears threatening to fall,
Scully hurled the badge away from her. A second
hand-swipe threw everything from the dresser, breaking
the glass jewelry box into a million pieces.
He watched her, his own heart breaking. He watched
because there was nothing else he could do.
"Dammit!" Scully cursed, holding her bloodied hand to
herself. Finding her legs unable to support her she
let herself sit on the floor, leaning against the
dresser. She pulled her knees up and let her head rest
on them. She was tired of crying. She was tired of all
of it.
It had been five days since Mulder had died. Five
days since she’d been awakened by a call in the early
morning hours telling her his car had been run off the
road, she should get to the hospital, he didn’t have
long. She had gotten there as soon as she could,
running through the hallways faster then she’d ever
thought possible. When she’d rounded the corner
Skinner was there, he’d looked up and she had known.
She was too late.
She hadn’t cried that day. Even at his funeral,
looking down at him, it wasn’t real. He was just
sleeping. He looked peaceful. He always looked
peaceful when he slept.
The next day she’d walked into the basement office
they shared. It had hit her then that he wasn’t here.
A series of memories had assaulted her rapid pace from
the day they meet to the last night she’d seen him.
"I don’t know Scully, I like my basement office. I’d
rather be here then in the bullpen with everyone
else,"
"Well, maybe I’ll go up, get my own desk in the
bullpen with everyone else," she’d joked.
"Ahh Scully, it’d feel empty here without you," he’d
said sincerely.
The office did not feel empty. It was still full of
his scent, his quest, everything that he was, was held
in this office. It was then that she realized he would
not be telling her another crazy theory, that she’d
never come in again to find him excited about a case
he’d found. It was the fact that the office was empty
that finally broke her.
She’d turned around and walked back to her car. It
was then she’d started crying, letting his loss flood
over her completely.
Now, Mulder sat across from her. He studied the top
of her head, the once radiant red it had been was now
dull. Her shoulders bobbed gently and he knew she was
crying again. He reached out and touched her shoulder.
She looked up.
For a moment he held his breath. Had she felt him?
But though his face was mere centimeters from hers it
was clear that she did not see him.
"Mulder…" she whispered in a voice so soft he could
scarcely hear her. "Why? Why now? After so much why
would they take you from me now? I don’t know how to
go on Mulder. You were my one true thing. The only one
I could trust. I don’t know how to live as half a
person," her voice broke and she wiped at her eyes
furiously. "I didn’t even get to say goodbye Mulder. I
didn’t even get to say goodbye." She couldn’t speak
more then that, her voice trailing into sobs.
"Scully," he started, but he didn’t know what to say.
God, he wanted to hold her so tightly. He wanted to
tell her that he was here and he knew, he could hear
her. It frustrated the hell out of him that no matter
how he shouted, she wouldn’t hear the faintest
whisper.
She finally got up and rinsed the blood off her
hands. Though there was no point to it she got in bed.
Even with all the covers pulled tightly around her she
felt cold, so cold.
Mulder watched her for a while, wishing he could wipe
away the trail of tears that fell down her cheeks, off
her nose. He watched as she lay on her side and closed
her eyes though he knew she was not asleep.
He sat on the other side of her bed and ran his hand
over her shoulder. He couldn’t feel it, he knew she
couldn’t.
Then she said his name. She said it as if he was
actually there, as if she could sense his presence.
"Mulder. I’m so tired. Hold me, just tonight, hold me
until I go to sleep,"
He hesitated.
"Just stay with me tonight,"
Then he lay down beside her and put his arms around
her.
"I’ll stay. I’ll stay always," he told her.
He wished he could feel her. He wished she could feel
him. Maybe in some small way she could because as his
arms draped over her should she seemed to gain a
little peace for the first time in five nights. Enough
peace to fall asleep.
"I love you Mulder. I miss you," she whispered as she
drifted off.
* * *
About 5:00 P.M. the next day
Detective Rob Kowal stood in the apartment’s bedroom,
looking over the scene deep in thought. Earlier that
morning a woman had been found dead in this room and
he was supposed to be looking for evidence of foul
play, from the call he’d just received he knew there
was no need.
"Hey Rob," his partner said, coming up behind him. "I
just got here. What’s going on,"
"Nothing we can help with. Woman died sometime last
night, and was found by her mother when she didn’t
meet her for lunch,’
"Did you get anything?"
"There’s nothing for us to get here Tom. The coroner
just called. She died, in his own words ‘of a broken
heart,’ He says he’s only heard about it. The person
just… looses the will to live and slips away."
The two partners were silent, wondering exactly what
loss this woman had to have experienced to cause that
much pain.
The thing that got to Rob was the bed. There were two
outlines on the pillows, two indents where two bodies
would have lain. But there was only evidence of one
person ever being there.
If they’d known where and how to look, the two police
officers might have seen them. Two people in the room,
together in each others arms in death as they hadn’t
been in life.
They were at peace. Both of them. Forever.
_______________________
NEVER, EVER let me do that again. NEVER. Still,
feedback is cherished.