TITLE:  One Belief Away (1/5)
AUTHOR:  Laura Blaurosen
EMAIL ADDRESS:  Mezzo4@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT:  whatever
SPOILERS:
RATING:  NC-17
CATEGORY:  XR
KEYWORDS:  Mulder/other (really brief) MSR
SUMMARY:  Mulder and Scully are called out on an 
investigation involving a supposedly haunted 
house with a murderous ghost. They also find 
out a few other things (unrelated to the case) 
while they are there.

DISCLAIMER:  I don't own the characters, just wanted
to write about them.

Thanks to Rachel.

I worked really hard on this one, so I hope you enjoy it!


One Belief Away
	Laura Blaurosen

Part 1/5

Tuesday 9:15 pm

"Hey Scully!  Come on, hurry up, open the door! 
Scully?" Mulder's tone was insistent, but not
desperate.

Scully had been on her way to take a shower and
just go to bed, she'd even had the water going
when she heard the pounding at her door.  Her
heart beat quickened a little until she heard
his voice.

"Alright already, I'm coming!  Quit your
pounding!"

She opened the door and he pushed his way past
her.  He was bouncing up and down on his feet
and pacing in a little area in front of her
door. 

"What brings you here, Mulder?"  As though he
even needed a reason to come over.  She'd let
him in at 3:30 in the morning just to eat a
piece of cheese if he asked her to.

"Guess what, Scully?  Guess what, guess what,
GUESS...WHAT?!!"  He said to her as he held her
by the shoulders at arm's length.

Mulder's overt euphoria was contagious and she
couldn't help but chuckle at him a little.  
"WHAT, Mulder?"

He let go of her and spun around.   "Tonight,
Scully, tonight, Genevieve and I went to
dinner..."

Genevieve.  Oh.  The empathetic elation Scully
had felt for Mulder suddenly dissipated.

"...and then after dinner, we took a walk around
downtown Annapolis..."

For God's sake, cut to the chase!

"...and we went down by the boat docks and
watched the people and the water and the sun was
starting to set and - God, it was beautiful..."
he drifted off into his own world.

"And then?"  Jeez, Mulder, I didn't need you to
come over here and tell me what a wonderful time
you had with your girlfriend. To rub in the fact
that you've found a wonderful woman who makes
you happy.  To remind me that I'm home in bed,
alone, every night we're not on a case by 10:00. 
Scully wondered idly if she'd get a play by play
of how they'd made love, too.

Mulder was still lost, but answered her anyway.  
"And then," he turned and looked her in the face
again.  "And then I asked her to marry me,
Scully."

Whoa.  `I asked her to marry me. Marry me. 
Marry me, Scully.' It echoed in her head a few
times.  She said nothing to him, just watched
his mouth flap as he continued to tell her about
what she figured had been Genevieve's reaction,
but she didn't hear the sounds.  He was
absolutely beside himself, bouncing off the
walls and ceiling in her apartment.

"Scully?"  Mulder stepped out of his
self-absorption long enough to realize Scully
wasn't reacting at all to his news.   "Scully? 
Aren't you going to say anything?  Aren't you
happy for me?"

"Oh, Mulder, yes, yes, of course I'm happy. 
Very happy.  I'm really very happy for you." 
Trying to convince Mulder or someone else, Dana?  
"It's just that it's so soon.  What has it been,
three months?"

"Three months, two weeks, to be exact."

"Are you sure about this?  I mean, it just so -
*soon*, Mulder."

"Well, when it's love, why wait, right?"  It was
a far from subtle reference that Mulder couldn't
resist using.  She still had no reaction.  
"Scully, what?   What is it?  I thought you'd be
happy for me."

Mulder's excitement was visibly lessened and
Scully immediately felt guilty for not reacting
the way he had hoped she would.  "Mulder, I *am*
happy for you.  I'm just a little taken aback, I
guess.  That's all."  She said the words but she
had a sinking suspicion that her facial
expressions betrayed her still.  

Mulder had met Genevieve Covey-Smith while he
and Scully had been on a case that went to
trial.  It was actually through Scully that they
had met, for it was Scully who tracked Genevieve
down as an expert witness.  She was a leading
astrochemist in the country who taught and did
major research at the University of Maryland. 
She was often called away at a moment's notice
(which is probably why their evening tonight had
been cut short), usually to Chicago where she
was on staff at the Adler Planetarium.  So it
really didn't bother her when Mulder himself
would often need to run off suddenly. 

Genevieve, of course, was a beautiful woman. 
She was tall and had long thick dark hair which
she most often kept tied back, conservatively
elegant.  She was three years Mulder's senior,
but didn't look a day older than Scully.  She
had a sense of humor that was Mulder's match and
was extremely genuine and unassuming.  Just a
really nice person.  Scully liked her a lot,
actually.  Mulder's association to Scully didn't
bother her, either. Genevieve had enough
self-assuredness for three people and that's
probably what, Scully ventured, most attracted
Mulder to her. 

And Mulder's feet hadn't touched ground for the
past three months.  He was getting regular sleep
and just generally looked better than Scully had
ever seen him.  Happy.

Then why was she having such a hard time feeling
excited for him?

"Mulder, I am happy because I know she makes you
happy.  And if marrying her will make you even
happier, then, please, marry her!"  She walked
closer to him and caught his gaze.  The extreme
bliss that had been bursting through his being
was still evident in his eyes.  This elicited a
true, sincere smile from Scully.  
"Congratulations, Mulder."

He let out a breath he'd been holding and
returned her smile.  He took her into his arms
and hugged her tightly.  Scully brought her arms
around his waist and held on as though she
thought she'd never see him again.  She could
feel his cheek rubbing back and forth on the top
of her head. Then the muscles around her mouth
began to twitch downwards and she swallowed a
lump that threatened to creep up into her eyes. 
She stayed in his embrace until she was certain
she wouldn't burst out in front of him.

"Scully, I just wanted to know that you thought
this was okay, that you didn't think I was
making a huge mistake."

She shook her head and drew back.   "No, she's a
wonderful woman.  If you believe she's the one,
who am I to sway you?"

Mulder smiled big.  Mother's approval.

"So, when's the big day?"

"Uh, Saturday, actually."

Saturday? Saturday?   "Wow, you guys aren't
wasting any time, are you?"  Saturday?

"Well, there really isn't any reason to wait. 
It's not like there's any big plans to be made. 
She's already had a big wedding once and neither
of us can take time off for any kind of a
honeymoon, so we figured, let's just do it this
weekend."

Once again Scully was dumbstruck.   Let's just
do it this weekend. 

"Oh, and Scully, if you can make it, I'd really
like you to be there as my witness."

Of course.  "Wouldn't miss it, Mulder. "

Mulder smiled yet one more time.  He looked into
her eyes for a long while.    "I'm gettin'
married, Scully," he said quietly.

"Yep, you sure are, Mulder."

He smiled bigger and shook his head.  His
attention was on himself again, as he seemed to
be getting used to the idea of being married. 
He looked at Scully and drew her close again. 
Scully craned her neck a little and smiled up at
him.  

Kiss him, kiss him now, you'll never have
another opportunity.  Just do it this once and
you'll finally know.  

Scully looked into his eyes and then at his
lips.  Just the sight of his full bottom lip
coupled with the contemplation of kissing it
caused a wave of heat to pass through her chest. 
The space between their faces decreased little
by little and finally Scully brought herself to
his mouth, catching that bottom lip briefly
between her two lips, then pulled away quickly,
testing his reaction. 

Mulder laughed a little in his throat and air
from his nose spilled over Scully's face.  It
was warm and smiled like him and made her feel
like he was kissing her entire face at once. 
Then he leaned down and kissed her briefly, just
as she had done.  She did it back.  Then he did. 
She drew back and buried her head in his chest
again, putting an end to the inappropriate
exchange and resolving to act as though she had
been mistaken about the feelings it had brought on.

They stood there in front of the door holding
each other for several moments.  Scully's memory
flashed back to when he'd held her after saving
her from Pfaster.  When he held her in the
hospital.  When she held him in the woods.  The
two of them. Agents Mulder and Scully.  

Mulder and Scully.  Mulder and Genevieve.  

It was too much.  She couldn't process it,
couldn't figure out how she really felt about
it.  So she just let him hold her until he
finally said,  "Well, I'd better let you go to
bed, Scully."

Scully nodded and let Mulder out of her
apartment.  

With the door shut and locked once again, Scully
looked around her apartment.  She felt weak,
sick to her stomach.  She wobbled over to the
kitchen table and sat down, trying to figure out
whether or not she was going to vomit.  She
stared into space for a while, feeling very much
outside of herself. 

She let her mind drift a little and she saw
Mulder everywhere in her home.  Mulder at her
kitchen table, Mulder with his head stuck in her
fridge, Mulder in her bed.

In my bed.  He'll never be in my bed.  He's in
Genevieve's bed. Not mine.  Not mine.

She shook her head and tried to put the jumble
of thoughts far from her mind.  She put the
newspaper into her recycle bin.  She put four
diet cokes in the refrigerator.  She set up the
coffee maker for the morning.  She washed the
three dishes she'd dirtied for dinner.  She
changed the garbage bag.  She loaded her laser
printer with paper.  

9:49 p.m.  If she got into the shower now, she'd
be in bed right around ten.

Damn him.  Damn him for finding somebody.  Damn
her for making him fall in love with her.  Damn
me for being so undesirable.  Why her?  

She turned the water on in the shower and stood
directly underneath the stream, letting it soak
her hair.  She squeezed her eyes shut when her
makeup began running into her eyes, causing a
severe sting.  When she brought her hands up to
rub her eyes, an uncontrollable whimper escaped
from low in her belly.  Then another.  Then
another.  Soon she was sobbing in a regular
rhythmic pattern.  Like a child.  Like an infant
who has started herself crying and then can do
nothing to stop.  

One more best friend getting married on me. 
It's always somebody else but me.  Not that I
really want to be married, but Mulder wasn't
supposed to get married, either.  

Scully leaned into the shower wall and drew her
arms around herself, then sunk to the floor and
hugged her knees to her chest. She stayed there
until the shower ran cold.  And couldn't stop
crying.

Mulder's getting married.  Yet another thing in
her life she hadn't realized she wanted so much
until she couldn't have it anymore.

I wanted him for mine.  I never knew.

___________

By dawn, Scully did a little math and figured
out that she'd slept of total of three hours
throughout the course of the night.  She checked
the clock for the 140th time since she'd gone to
bed. 

4:50 am.  

Fuck.  Might as well get up.

She lay there for a few more moments and
replayed Mulder's visit in her mind.  She hadn't
dreamt it.  

Once in the bathroom, she peered at her
reflection.  "Well, I look like shit," she said
to herself as she turned on the faucet.  She
felt sick.  She contemplated not going in today,
but figured Mulder'd end up at her place,
anyway.  He'd be worried about her for sure,
especially since he'd just seen her last night. 
She may as well face him at the office, where
she would be less prone to breaking up.

He'd be worried.  But would he still come over? 
Would that change once he was married?  Or would
he forget to worry about her?  No, he'd be at
home, with his wife.  Holding her in their bed. 
Holding her, thinking only about her and she'd
be here in her apartment.  Alone.

She started to cry again for the 26th time since
Mulder had left her.  Mulder's leaving me.  She
leaned her forearms on the sink and held her
head in her hands.

Then it occurred to her just how ridiculous she
was being.  This isn't about you.  It's about
Mulder.  Mulder's life, his happiness. Not
yours.  Be happy for Mulder.

_______________

After squeezing an entire bottle of Visine into
her eyeballs, she decided to wear her glasses
today, hoping it would hide her puffy eyes.  She
took three sinus pills and planned on telling
everyone that her allergies were bothering her
this morning.  

She took a deep breath before turning the knob
on the door to Mulder's office.  I am not going
to let this get to me anymore. She walked
through the door only to find Mulder with his
feet up on his desk, on the phone with
Genevieve.

He acknowledged Scully and said into the phone,
"Okay, babe, I just wanted to make sure you got
in there alright.  Gotta go."

Babe.  Scully turned her back to him and
pretended to fish through her attache.  In
reality she was concentrating on forcing away
the gnawing in her stomach.

"Morning, sunshine!"

Did he call Genevieve that, too?   "Morning,
Mulder."  She didn't look at him.

"Uh, Skinner wanted to see us as soon as you got
here.  Says he's got something he wants us to
look into."

She looked at him.  He was glowing, still.  Damn
him.   "Well, let's go, then."

___________________

"Morning, Agents," Skinner said as he let them
in the room.

"Morning, Sir," Mulder responded.  Scully said
nothing.

Skinner examined her for a few moments. 
"Feeling alright, Agent Scully?"

Her heart was racing.  No, sir, I feel like shit
because I've been crying all night because
Mulder's getting married.   "Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm
fine.  My sinuses are just bothering me today. 
The pollen and mold counts are sky-high."

He studied her for one more brief moment, then
nodded.   "Listen, a case has come to my
attention that I'd like the two of you to look
into.  It actually involves the daughter of an
old marine buddy of mine."

He went on to tell them that his friend's
daughter and her husband had purchased and
restored an old home in central Illinois.  Soon
after the restoration was complete, the girl's
husband came down with several illnesses, from a
simple cold to a broken leg to severe pneumonia,
all in a matter of one month. He developed a
condition whereby his mouth and throat swelled
severely, making eating, breathing and speech
incredibly difficult.  Eventually and
inexplicably it simply went away.

Scully shifted in her chair and looked over at
Mulder.  He was staring out the window behind
Skinner and seemed to almost not be listening. 
Thinking her voice might wake him from his
reverie, she said,  "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't
see why a set of coincidences warrants an FBI
investigation."

He gestured that there was more.  He handed her
the case file.  "Two months ago, a neighbor
found Sarah in her bedroom, on the floor.  Her
husband was in the bed; he'd been dead for at
least a day, apparently suffocated to death." 

"Wasn't there any kind of investigation at the
time?  What was her statement?"   Guess Mulder
was listening after all.

"Problem is they couldn't get a statement from
Sarah.  She hasn't spoken a word since she was
found.  She's in some sort of extreme shock." 
He paused.   "Anybody who knows Sarah Ross knows
she's not capable of smashing a spider, but
she's the only suspect the local PD has right
now."

"So you want us to go down there to prove she
didn't do it?"

"In part, yes." He hesitated a moment.  "There's
not going to be any kind of a trial as long as
Sarah cannot speak for herself, but she'll go on
record in some manner or another as the only
possible suspect.  The situation is this: my
friend and his wife are certain that Sarah did
not kill her husband, despite what the police
believe.  What they believe is that what
happened to Sarah's husband was... paranormal
...in some way."

"Paranormal how?"  Mulder asked.

"They believe there was a ghost in the house. 
And they're convinced that it was this ghost who
actually did it."

"Really?"  Scully's eyebrows were raised 

"Well, paranormal activity or no, her parents
are good friends of mine, they're going through
a lot of grief right now and I hate to see them
fall prey to this nonsense."

Ghostbusters.  I spent 10 years in school to
enter into a vocation created by Hollywood,
Scully thought to herself.  Then it occurred to
her.  If we have to go there today, perhaps
we'll have to stay through Saturday and then
he'd have to call off the wedding. Well,
postpone it, anyway.  Okay, I'll be a ghost
hunter.  Sure, sounds like fun.  

"Sir, I'd like to request that Agent Scully and
I are allowed to stay in the home while we
conduct our investigation."  Mulder had plans
already; Scully could see the spark in his eye.  

"I'll see that it is arranged."  He looked at
the two of them before dismissing them.   "And
Agents, I'd consider this somewhat of a personal
favor if you are able to prove Sarah's
innocence."

They nodded in unison and headed to Illinois.

____________________

They drove up to a 3-story, turn of the century
Queen Anne-style home with a wide wrap around
porch.  It was in excellent condition and the
landscaping was beautiful.  Very inviting.

"Doesn't look haunted to me, Mulder," Scully
said as she exited the rental car.

Mulder walked around to the trunk.   "Ghosts
don't always reside just in broken down and
dilapidated old buildings.  They can be
anywhere."  He pulled their things out one by
one as Scully searched around for the key.  "In
fact," he said as they walked up to the house, 
"it's been said that there are so many spirits
floatin' around in this world that if we could
see them all, the skies would be darkened."

"Uh-huh," she responded in a way which always
told him she was listening, but wasn't truly
interested.  She unlocked the door and Mulder
followed her inside.

The home's interior was just as impressive as
the outside.  The Rosses clearly were a very
well-off couple.  The house was filled with a
tasteful mixture of antiques and elegant new
furniture.  "Sorry, Mulder, still doesn't look
haunted to me."  She glanced into the living
room, which was to the left of the foyer, and
saw Mulder waving his hand out in front of him. 
He looked like a mime, tracing the outsides of
an invisible object.

He turned to see her questioning stare and said
almost in a whisper,  "It's a cold spot,
Scully."  He felt one area, then moved his hand
away and then back again.   "You've gotta feel
this.  It's wild."

"You sure it's not coming from the vent on the
floor?"  She said as she walked toward him.

He shook his head.   "It's like a -," He ran his
hand around the space again,  "It's like a
sphere, almost.  Right here, see?"  He took her
wrist and moved it to the space in question,
then away, then back again.

Nothing.   "Feels like air."

He shook his head in frustration.  "It's gone
now."

"What's so important about a cold spot?"

He looked at her as though he was disappointed
that she didn't know.   "Reportings of haunted
places often make mention of cold spots in
otherwise balmy conditions."

"So what you're telling me is that you were just
feeling up a ghost?" 

Very funny, he said with his expression.   "I
think there's something here in this house.  You
can just feel it.  Already."

"Speak for yourself, Mulder.  All I can feel is
that I need to find the thermostat in this house
before I melt," was Scully's reply as she headed
for the stairs.  She grabbed her suitcases and
began ascending the stairs.  "Besides," she
stopped a third of the way up,  "Even if there
was a ghost in this house - which there isn't -
you'd need a little more proof than just your
`feelings'."

She started up the stairs again when her
suitcase popped open, spilling the contents onto
the stairs and down into the foyer. 

"Fuck!"

"Maybe later, Scully, I'm wanna take a shower
now."  Mulder said as headed toward the stairs
and stepped around Scully and her mess.   "You
better watch what you say about them," he called
from upstairs.   "They can hear you."

`Maybe later Scully'.  She was stuck on the
phrase and wondering how long it would be before
he stopped teasing her like that.  

_________________

Since Mulder had already seemed to have claimed
the master bedroom at the north end of the
hallway, Scully took the room directly next to
it.  As she was unpacking, she heard the shrill
ring of Mulder's phone and proceeded to his
bedroom to answer it for him.

"Agent Mulder's phone, this is Agent Scully."

"Oh, Dana, hi there.  This is Genevieve."

Genevieve.  Oh.   "Oh, hello.  Uh, Mulder's in
the shower."

"Oh. Okay."

Uncomfortable pause.

"Well, I guess I should extend my
congratulations."  Not that I would mean them.

"Oh, yeah, thank you, thank you very much. 
That's actually the reason I'm calling."

To call it off?  Scully's heart pounded in her
ears.

"Do you think you guys are going to be done down
there by Saturday?  Mulder said he wasn't sure
and I was just wondering, because I may just be
stuck up here through the weekend."

Praise Jesus.  Heart rate increase.

"It's too soon to tell, Gen. I'll uh, I'll tell
Mulder.  I'll have him give you a call." 
Tomorrow, maybe.

"Thanks so much, Dana.  Bye."

She stood in the room for a few moments,
contemplating whether or not she could get away
with not giving him the message.  As she decided
it would be extremely childish not to tell him,
Mulder appeared in the room.  He rubbed a towel
over his wet head and jumped a little to see
Scully in his room.

"Jesus, what are you doing?"  He demanded of her
through a sigh of relief.   "Trying to give me a
coronary?"

"Seeing ghosts?  Mulder, you've got to relax or
you're gonna *make* yourself see one." 

He shook his head.  "What are you doing in here,
anyway?"

"I uh, just, your phone rang.  You need to call
Genevieve."  She was proud that she'd managed to
tell him the truth. She then noticed Mulder was
only wearing a towel.  She looked quickly down
at his bed and hoped he didn't notice her flush. 
I'm flushing?  She cursed herself for the
reaction.

He didn't let on to have noticed because he went
over to the other side of the bed where he had
his suitcase.  "Okay, thanks. I'll call her in a
minute."  

Why don't you wait a little longer?  Why don't
you never call her ever again and let's have
everything back to the way it was before you
were going to get married.  Okay?

She didn't know what else she'd wanted him to
say about it, but she found herself wanting to
know more.  He didn't talk about Genevieve at
any great lengths with her and she didn't prod
him to expound, either.  She didn't want to know and
something told her that he could tell and that's
why he never offered any information.  But
another part of her did want to know.  Know
things she knew would never have the nerve to
ask him about.

Why her, Mulder?

She was still staring at the phone on his bed
when she noticed a collection of various 
`gadgets' strewn across the bed.   "What's all
this stuff for?"  She turned to look at him
because he'd moved behind her, only to see a
glimpse of Mulder's naked ass.  He was dressing
with her in the room!  What the hell?  Did he
really feel that comfortable with her?  It
wasn't that she felt uncomfortable around him,
but she was suddenly very embarrassed.

She looked quickly back to the bed and took one
of the strange devices in her hand.  It was
shaped like a remote control and had
a place for a 4-digit LCD display at the top. 
In the middle was simply an on/off switch and
beneath that it read `EM Field Detector'.  Also
on the bed were a simple 35mm camera and his
microcassette recorder and another device that
looked like some sci-fi movie prop.  It was
shaped in the fashion of a handgun with a
shorter barrel and longer handle.  Scully picked
up the item and shot it at the wall.  A straight
red laser light shot through the room.

"This your phaser gun, Mulder?" 

"Ha, Ha," he said as he approached her, this
time in his boxers.

Oh, Mulder, yes, that's much less uncomfortable
than you just naked in front of me.  Sure.

"This stuff is really cool, isn't it?  And we
get to play with it, courtesy of The Lone
Gunmen."  He took the laser-shooting item from
her and pointed it, starting at the door and
bringing it around to finally rest on Scully's
chest.

"Nope, you're not a ghost, Scully."

"So, this is equipment to catch a ghost with,
then?"  Eyes up, Dana, she had to remind
herself, trying desperately to pretend he was
wearing clothes.

"Not catch, no.  We're not here as
`ghostbusters', rather ghost `hunters'.  You
were saying we needed more proof than just a
hunch?  This stuff will help us gather evidence
of ghostly entities which might dwell in the
house."

"Uh-huh.  Evidence of something that can't be
seen."

"Scully, as I always say, don't be so quick to
dismiss the possibility.  And as far as being
able to be seen, we may just get a photograph or
two and," he picked up the recorder,
"soundtrack."

Scully sighed as was her fashion and as usual,
Mulder was unaffected.   "Mulder, don't you
think we need to do some actual investigating,
not just gather media to sell to 'Sightings'. 
Now I don't know what you had planned, but I'd
like to go and see Sarah Ross and I had hoped
you would join me.  I could use your
psychological expertise and since you are my
partner..." she held her hand out.

"Alright, let me get dressed, will ya?"  He
shooed her out.   "I'll go with you if you'll
stake out ghosts with me tonight."  He waited
for her affirmative reaction.

She sighed again.  Of course.  Like she'd have
said no.


Tallis Medical Center
Mental Health Ward

Mulder and Scully spoke briefly with Sarah Ross'
father before going to see her in her room.  He
thanked the two agents profusely for coming and
directed them to where they could find Sarah.

A woman of about thirty sat in a chair in the
corner of the room they entered. Her hands were
in her lap and her head fell limply to the one
side.  Scully and Mulder observed her from the
door.

"You may go in if you wish.  The stimuli of
other voices and movement can only help her,"
the doctor said to them.

Scully came as close to the woman as she thought
was appropriate.  Her breathing appeared normal.  
"Sarah?"  No response.  Scully looked at Dr.
Moore.  "How long has she been like this?"  

He thought for a second.   "Tomorrow it will be
eight weeks.  If a person is going to come out
of a state like hers, it's usually in four weeks
or less."

"Post-traumatic stress disorder?"  Scully
ventured an educated guess at the diagnoses.

"No, acute stress disorder," Mulder leaned down
to look into Sarah's eyes.  Then turned back to
Dr. Moore,  "Am I right?"

"Yes, that's it exactly.  She's in a state which
is known as numbing or psychic numbing.  She is
completely unaware of her surroundings and
responds to no external or internal stimuli.
Except for changes in temperature, however,
which is why I have a nurse check her body temp
every so often to make sure she's not chilled."

Mulder nodded.   "What kind of treatment are you
offering?"

"Well," he sighed,  "Admittedly, I'm about
tapped out.  I've been doing a lot of consulting
and she's had a few of the top psychiatrists in
the country in here to see her.  They're
stumped, really.  It's like she's a vegetable,
but doesn't need a life support system.  We've
tried all kinds of stimulation, medication..."
He lowered his voice.   "Don't tell her father
just yet, but pretty soon there are some
decisions which will have to be made about
Sarah's permanent care."

Scully looked at Sarah again.  She was a very
small, petite woman. Very pretty with shoulder
length red-blond hair that was a little curly,
and noted that Sarah reminded her very much of
Melissa.  Sarah appeared very pale, pasty. 
Scully sat on the edge of the bed and took
Sarah's hand.  Ice cold.  "Dr. Moore, she's
freezing."

He nodded and bent down to switch on a space
heater on the table directly next to Sarah's
chair.  Then he went to get the nurse to stay
with Sarah for a while.  Scully wrapped Sarah in
a blanket and rubbed her hands over Sarah's to
help warm her up. She's *so* cold, Scully
thought.  It reminded her of the way a corpse
felt.

end 1/5

One Belief Away
       Laura Blaurosen

Part 2/5

It was dusk when they returned to the house. 
Scully peered into the window as they pulled
into the driveway.  The lights were all on in
the living room.   "Huh.  They must have those
lights on a timer."  She said to Mulder as they
mounted the front steps. 

"Yeah.  Same as the one up the attic, too." 
Mulder said.

"What do you mean?"  He motioned her back out on
to the front lawn.  She followed him out there
and craned her neck skyward. Yep, there was a
light on in the attic.   "Maybe it was on the
whole time and we just didn't notice it in the
daylight."

Mulder shrugged and started into the house.  
"Maybe."

Once inside, Mulder searched the outlets looking
for timers for the lights.  Not one of them held
such a device.  "No timers, Scully," he called
out to her.  

"Maybe there's some kind of control panel or
something.  A power surge might have caused them
to turn on."

She was in the kitchen before she could receive
his cynical glance at her.  There was a note on
the counter.

`Thought you two could use some dinner' 

Sarah's parents (she assumed) had left them
sandwiches and fresh fruit in the refrigerator.  

"Provisions!"  Mulder exclaimed as he pulled out
the tray.

"Provisions for what, Mulder?"

He stuffed half of a sandwich in his mouth.  
"Scully, you promised!"

Scully had a hard time not breaking out in a
laughing fit.  The moments were rare, but every
once in a while, Mulder would do or say
something that just warmed her.  Melted her. 
This was one of those moments.  He sounded like
a disappointed ten-year-old, talking with his
mouth full like that.  That's right, she
remembered, ghost hunting.   "Sorry, almost
forgot."

"Can't believe you could actually forget an
opportunity to do something like this!"  He
carried the tray toward the stairs.   "I went
with a group of ghost hunters to a cemetery
once..." he began and told Scully a tale which
she guessed made him think he was somehow fully
qualified to conduct this sort of investigation. 
If you could call it that.

Mulder decided they should start their
`surveillance' in the master bedroom.  He
started the tape recorder and made sure they had
plenty of tapes waiting.  Scully's job was to
shoot pictures when Mulder told her to, one
right after the other in the area he directed. 
He picked up the remote control thing, as Scully
called it.

"Scully, it's an Electromagnetic Field
Detector," he corrected her. Anything it might
pick up between a 3 to a 7 milligaus reading can
pretty much tell you if there's an entity in the
room with us." He walked around the room with
the device in hand and the phaser gun' in the
other.

Milligauss?   "So an electromagnetic field
reading will prove there's a ghost here?"

"Sort of.  What it actually does is point out
and measure energy anomalies.  At least it
grounds the possibility of ghostly activity in
some sort of science.  You were a physics major,
Scully, you ought to appreciate this stuff."  He
walked the circumference of the room again.

Scully sat at the head of the bed and watched
Mulder in silence. He was in his element and
completely involved in capturing a ghost
tonight.  His fervor, no matter how ridiculous
it seemed, was enough to convince her (as it
usually did) of a necessity for this
investigation.  Scully often wondered if it was
the utter passion he exuded when he was in this
state that she was attracted to.  Her passions
were so introverted; she envied Mulder's
displays sometimes.  If there was one quality
she fed off of him, it was that passion.

After a while, Mulder sat on the bed and helped
himself to another sandwich.   "Mulder, I
realize I'm far from the expert in this
situation, but shouldn't we be doing this in all
the rooms?"

"I wanted to start here, where the murder
occurred to see if we would get stronger
readings," He leaned back on his elbows and
looked down on the tray.  He grabbed a sprig of
grapes off of it.  He lifted it up to his mouth
and took three of them into his mouth at once
and pulled them off their stems.   "Ghostly
activity seems to focus in places where extreme
situations have taken place..." 

He went on but Scully was suddenly drawn to
watching the way he was eating those grapes. 
She was struck at just how erotic it was to
watch him do this.  Eating.  That's all he's
doing, Dana, just eating.  You've seen him do it
a hundred times.  But never eating fruit in a
bed with me in it. Eating...Against her will and
better judgment, she started envisioning scenes
of him eating strategically placed grapes off of
areas on her body...

"Want some, Scully?"  He looked up at her.

What?  Oh, grapes.   "Yeah," she said weakly. 
She cleared her throat and extended her hand to
him.  He pushed her hand down onto the mattress
and leaned over the tray, to get closer to
Scully. He dangled the fruit over her head.

"Here you go," he said.  

Yep, Mulder, that's right.  Here I go.  She
reached up and grabbed one grape into her mouth,
giggling a little as she did. `Mmmm...these are
wonderful," she said,  in maybe a little too
sultry of a voice.

Mulder chuckled a little, too, as he helped her
to a few more. She swallowed them down and
opened her eyes only to see Mulder a few slight
inches from her face.  She felt that wave of
warmth pass through her chest again to see the
look in his eyes and so she looked down.  

"Mulder, look," she said suddenly, pointing at
the EMF meter.  It was fluctuating between 4.45
and 4.89.

"Start shooting, Scully," he commanded and
started aiming the thermal scanner slowly around
the room.   "Over there," he pointed at the
closet.   "Just keep hittin' the shutter."

She had shot almost the entire roll before he
told her she could stop.  She watched him circle
the room and then stand in the doorway.   

"So, now what?"

He was writing things down on a legal pad on the
dresser.   "Now we get the film developed and
see if there's anything on it."

"Such as...?"

"Ectoplasmic configurations.  Balls of light. 
Misty apparitions, the standard stuff."

"Standard stuff.  Sure.  Smile, Mulder," she
said as she snapped the last picture on the roll
of film.  She unloaded the camera and rose from
the bed to hand Mulder the can.  

He took it from her and said facetiously, 
"Scully, you know that's not my best side."

She smiled and watched him continue to write.  
"Uh, I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed now, if
that's alright.  I think, Mulder" she cleared
her throat,  "I think we should go down to the
police station tomorrow and review their reports
on the murder.  Then maybe we ought to talk to a
few of Sarah's friends..."

He raised his hand to her face and smiled at
her.   "Okay," he said and leaned in quickly to
peck her on the forehead.  

Scully now knew she needed to get out of
Mulder's room that very moment.  She attributed
the shaky legs that carried her to her room to
lack of circulation.  Mulder had kissed her
again.  

She was amazed at how distracted by him she was. 
Usually when Mulder was following through on a
theory in some unorthodox manner, she was busy
coming up with reason why he was wasting their
time and taxpayer dollars.  But all she had
really been able to do was concentrate on him
and the way he was moving, the way he smelled,
the way he breathed.  As though she had never
been aware of any of these things until tonight. 
And then for him to kiss her - again - it was
more than she was able to handle.

Why was he doing this to her?  Or maybe he'd
always acted this way and she'd only now opened
herself up to realizing its effect on her.  She
tossed around on her bed as she toyed with
scenario after scenario, searching into her past
with him, for something that would tell her that
he might love her.  Love her more than a woman
named Genevieve.  

Shortly before drifting off to sleep, she came
to the awareness that there were a million
reasons to believe he was in love with her.  A
million more to believe than to not.  But it is
easier to prove something does exist than it is
to prove it doesn't.  He'd taught her that.

The only thing she was certain of was that it
had been a possibility she'd refused to let
enter her conscious mind before.  And if she'd
realized that too late, it was her own damn
fault. She could never tell him now.


_________________

Ma's Country Inn
Thursday
9:45 am

"Mulder, you never told me what you thought of
Sarah Ross' condition," Scully said before
taking a fork to her broccoli omelet.

"Not much to say, really.  Many people slip into
that state and never come out of it.  I remember
reading case studies about people who did after
40 years.  Sometimes people never do."

40 years?  Poor Sarah, Scully thought as she
watched Mulder fish through the photos he'd
gotten back from the one-hour developing place.  
"Do you think that maybe she did kill her
husband and was so shocked that it caused her to
close up like that?"

He shrugged his shoulders.   "It could certainly
explain it, but according to Skinner, she wasn't
capable of smashing a bug, so it doesn't seem
that likely."

"And a ghostly murderer seems more likely?" 

"Ok, I know, but-" His eyes widened at one of
the photos. "Would you look at that..." he
handed the photograph to Scully.

"What am I looking at?"  All she saw was the
closet in Mulder's room.

"There, right there, see the little balls of
light?  Those spheres often show up on
photographs taken in haunted places."

"Sure it's not a spot on the lens?"

"No, because the spots would show up in the same
place on every shot.  See, in this one the
spheres are in the center."  He handed her
another picture.

She studied them and shook her head.   "Maybe
it's a reflection from the headlights of a
passing vehicle."

"Maybe."  He came to the last one she'd shot.  
"Ooh, look at me, Scully.  You *cannot* tell me
that isn't that the epitome of sexy."

"You really want me to answer that, Mulder?" she
said as she studied the photograph. She had
taken a pretty good shot of him, even if it was
a little dark.   "You look good, Mulder.  You
should give this one to Genevieve."  

"Nah, you keep it Scully.  A souvenir of your
first ghost hunt."

"You are so good to me."  She had brought up
Genevieve's name on purpose, hoping to incite
conversation about her, but as per usual, he
brushed it aside.

"What the hell?  This can't be..." he said,
looking at the picture again.   "Scully, what do
you think this is, in the corner by the
dresser?"

She squinted her eyes.  "I don't know, shadows,
cast by the light of the moon last night?"

"It looks like a figure," he said as he studied
it again.   "Like a person, kind of huddled in
the corner, like they used to make us
do in school for tornado drills."

"What?"  She said in disbelief as the waitress
came to refill their coffee.

"You two are those FBI people arentcha? You're
pretty brave to stay at the Tallis house."

Scully thanked her for the refill and looked up
at the woman.  "Why's that?" she asked her.

"Cause!  There's something evil in that house. 
Old lady Tallis was into all kinds of witchcraft
and stuff like that, people say she put a hex on
that house when her husband kicked her out. 
That's why everybody says Sarah Ross didn't kill
her husband.  It was old lady Tallis' ghost."

"Who is old lady Tallis?"  Mulder asked.

"Prudence Tallis.  She was the woman who lived
in that house.  Her and her husband built it. 
He kicked her out of the house after he divorced
her to marry his mistress.  Somehow, though,
Mrs. Tallis fell down the stairs and died,
probably pushed by her Mr. Tallis.  Then they
say Mrs. Tallis' ghost terrorized the new Mrs.
Tallis until finally driving them out of the
home.  Nonody's lived in that house as long as
the Rosses did."

"Did you know the Rosses?"  Scully asked the
woman in hopes of distracting her from the
ridiculous story.

"I went to school with Jimmy's parents.  And Jim
came in here bout every other morning on his way
to work.  Think he worked in Springfield."

"Do you know if they seem were a happy couple to
you?"

"You think she killed him, don't you, like
police are saying.  If you ask me there ain't no
way Sarah Ross was the one who killed her
husband.  There's something in that house.
Something evil.  Always has been.  Folks told em
they shouldn't mess with buying that house. 
Then they started remodeling and fixing it up
and stuff - that's when it all started
happening, Jim getting sick and all."

She waved a hand in the air.   "I don't like
even talkin' about it. Gives me the creeps." 
With that, she was motioned away from their
table by another customer.

Scully looked back at Mulder.   "The creeps. 
Isn't that the same phenomenon that sold you on
there being a ghost in that house?"  He was
still studying the photo.   "Mulder, you don't
really think you see an actual person in that
picture, do you?"

He nodded slowly.   "I'm gonna find somewhere I
can overnight this to the bureau so we can get
it enhanced.  Tonight I want to run a video
camera in my room, see if we pick anything up on
it."

Scully had to inhibit herself from shaking her
head at him.   "Well, I think we ought to do
some research on the house and this old lady
Tallis' to see if there's any truth behind it at
all."

_____________________

It was 7:30 by the time they'd gotten back to
the house.  A trip to the local police station
that afternoon only served to further excite
Mulder's insistence that there was a ghost in
the Tallis house.  He sat in rapt fascination to
hear all of the officers' personal experiences
with the  `ghost' in regard to that home.  

Concerning the investigation itself, the crime
scene report stated basically that Jim had been
suffocated with a pillow and that Sarah was
their only possible suspect at this point. There
had been no signs of a break in, Jim had no
known enemies, and no one had seen anyone enter
the house or leave it at the time of the murder.  

A pleasant aroma from the kitchen drew the
agents to that room first.  On the stove there
was simmering a pot of barbecued pork.

"Let's you and I move in here, Scully.  There's
always food waiting in this house whenever we
get back."  Mulder said as he grabbed the jug of
iced tea from the fridge.

"Mulder, if we lived together, we'd probably
murder one another."  She pulled plates out of
the cupboard.

"Nah, Scully, we'd do great.  We know each other
so well.  We know exactly what pisses each other
off and when we should leave each other the hell
alone.  I've always been told that's the way to
a successful marriage."

They looked at each other, mutually realizing
the cosmic irony behind his off-handed remark. 
Then Mulder's phone rang and he excused himself
from the table.

Scully watched his lanky form wander into the
living room in search of his cell phone.  She
took a bite of her sandwich and waited to see
who it was.

"Oh hey!" He said enthusiastically, then lowered
his voice,  "Hey babe..."

That was all Scully needed to hear and she
grabbed her plate and glass and headed the back
way to the stairs.  She wanted to stay and see
if they were going to decide to postpone their
plans, but couldn't bring herself to eavesdrop
that way.  Not for that reason.


Scully watched the television in her room for
almost an hour when she heard a knock at her
door.   "S'open, Mulder."  

But Mulder never came in.   "Mulder?" she said
cautiously as she scanned the room for her gun. 
Retrieving it, she moved toward the door
cautiously and listened.  It was so quiet, she
noted. "Mulder?" she whispered again.

She swung the door open and aimed her gun out
into the hall.  There was something in front of
her door.  Light, or smoke...a face?

She blinked and looked again.  Nothing.  She
couldn't help but notice how cold it was in the
hallway.  Cold like a refrigerator.

She had just been watching the 10:00 news.  The
weatherman had said overnight temperature would
be 70 degrees tonight.

She shivered and looked around to see if Mulder
had in fact been near her door.  She saw
nothing, but did notice the light on in Mulder's
room.  She made her way to the room and knocked
lightly on the door.   "Mulder, you awake?"

She heard the bed creak and thought he was
getting up to open it, but again he never came.  
"Mulder?" she called again and peeked around the
corner.   "Mulder did you just-"

But she opened the door to find a soundly
sleeping Mulder.  He had set up a camcorder on
the nightstand facing the general direction of
that mystery spot he'd found on the photograph
earlier that day.  

She smiled softly to see him like this.  She
loved to watch him sleep.  She usually was only
graced with a few fleeting minutes on an
airplane or in their car, though. And oftentimes
she would wonder what it would be like to see
him asleep comfortably in a bed, perhaps with
his arms around her.  

She shut out the light and he stirred again. She
left the room, scurrying away guiltily to her
room.  She shut her door again and leaned her
head into the jamb.

God, I want him.  I always did.  How could I
have been so ignorant? 

______________

Friday morning

Mulder was up and out of the house by 6:00 to
run and Scully was just sitting down on the
front porch with her coffee at about 7:30 when
he returned.  He was in tow with Sarah's father,
whom he had obviously crossed paths with while
they were both out running.

"Mr. Renner, good morning," Scully said.  
"Would you like some coffee?"

"I'd love some," he smiled and followed the
agents inside.

"I'm sorry I haven't been available much since
you two got here, but when I'm not spending time
with Sarah, I'm with my wife, making sure she's
okay."  

"Your wife is taking this very hard?"  Mulder
asked.

"In a word, yes.  She, uh, she doesn't talk much
anymore.  She goes in spurts, where she'll have
a lot to say, and then she'll close up again.  I
have to be real careful what I say and when
we're out, I have to make sure I don't drive
past this house, otherwise I lose her again."

"Assistant Director Skinner was telling us that
you're convinced it was a *ghost* that killed
your son-in-law?"  Mulder prodded.

"As sure as your eyes are blue," he said to
Scully.  Like a scene in out of an old movie,
there came a thumping from upstairs.  "See? 
That kind of stuff always happened in this
house, ever since I started coming here.  Sarah
and Jim refused to believe that their dream
house had a ghost at first, but..." he trailed
off.

"I'm sure it's just an animal in the attic,"
Scully suggested.

But Troy Renner was shaking his head.  "No,
that's the same noise I hear almost every time
I'm here.  Have you heard her sing yet?"

Scully's eyebrows raised.  "Sing?"

"Yeah, ol' Prudy'll sing hymns to you if she
likes you.  Jim never heard the hymns, but both
Sarah and my wife have been serenaded on several
occasions.  She sang once when I was in here,
but abruptly stopped.  I had come to feed the
cat while Jim and Sarah were away and I think
Mrs. Tallis thought I was Sarah."

Scully was taken aback at how nonchalantly this
otherwise apparently intelligent man was
speaking about this `ghost'.  As though it were
a perfectly natural assumption that a ghost
resided in his daughter's home.

Mulder's interest was peaked; Scully could see
the fire in his eyes, that familiar look that
both excited and worried her.  He asked Mr.
Renner,  "Do you believe that it was Prudence
Tallis' ghost that killed your son-in-law?'

"Oh, I'm practically certain of it.  Jim went
through a lot of hell when they bought this
house.  It's funny how Prudy works.  She started
out with simple, harmless things.  She'd hide
his most important papers and things.  She'd
poke him in the kidneys and pull at his hair. 
Sarah said she woke up one night and he was
holding his hand to his chest, trying to catch
his breath.  He said later it felt like someone
was pushing down on his chest, constricting his
lungs."

"Did he suffer from sleep apnea?" was Scully's
question.

"Not before he moved in here."  Troy said
simply.   "Nope, I think Prudy had it in for him
from the start.  She just took her time about
it."

The lights flickered over the stove and sink. 
Troy looked at the lights and then back at the
agents.   "She's telling me she knows I'm here. 
I think I'd better go pretty soon before she
starts poking me in the eyes."  He rose from the
table.

"I want to thank you two again for doing this
investigation.  I know I could never get anyone
else to do this."  He paused and drew a deep
breath.   "I realize I might still lose Sarah,
I'm starting now to come to terms with that
eventuality.  I just don't want my daughter
going to her grave with this on her record."  

"Thanks for the coffee," he said and headed
toward the front door.  On the way there, he
tripped a little on the rug.  "I goin' now,
Prudy, you old witch," he said, apparently
believing it was her who'd tripped him.

They waved him good bye and Scully said,  "That
poor man. Imagine losing your daughter and your
wife mentally like that.  To see both of them go
through that much pain - I might even start to
believe something otherworldly was going on.

Mulder gave Scully a strange look as she sipped
her coffee.  

"What?" 

He shook his head.   "I've got something to play
for you," he said and pulled his microcassette
recorder out of his pocket.   "I had this
recording last night, just before I fell
asleep."

He had it cued already to a particular spot on
the tape.  He turned it up as high as it would
go and pressed play.  Scully listened to a few
seconds of nothing. 

"There, can you hear it?"  

She shook her head slowly and Mulder rewound the
tape, playing the same few seconds again.  "I
don't hear anything, Mulder."

Mulder was getting frustrated with her, she
could see it in his face.  "What am I supposed
to be hearing?"

"Mr. Renner said that Prudence liked to sing.  I
swear I can hear singing on this tape."

Scully wanted to hear it, if only to make Mulder
happy.   "Play it again." she requested.

She might have heard something this time, she
couldn't be sure. Now that he told her what to
be hearing, she wasn't sure if she was making
herself hear it.   "Mulder, I did fall asleep
last night with the TV on, do you think it just
picked up that?"

"Maybe."

"I'm going to visit Sarah's neighbor today. Her
name is Faye Peters.  She seems to have been
Sarah's closest acquaintance recently. Are you
coming with me?" 

"Nah, I'm gonna drive into Springfield to the
regional headquarters so I can get that
photograph back from being analyzed and I want
to go down to the library and research this
property and the Tallis family," he said.

                end 2/5

One Belief Away
       Laura Blaurosen

Part 3/5

Not that it was that unusual they did separate
 work on investigations, but Scully was beginning
 to feel like they were starting out on two
 different paths on this investigation.  
 
 Genevieve.  Her mind flashed suddenly to her for
 some unknown reason.  Scully wondered if she was
 starting to let Genevieve ruin the connection
 that she felt with Mulder.  She didn't think
 Mulder would ever sever that invisible tie, but
 she was afraid that she might unconsciously do
 it herself.  Start to distance herself from him
 on purpose because that was the only way she
 would be able to deal with the thought of Mulder
 of having that kind of link with another. 
 Another woman.  His wife.
 
 Is this jealousy or lunacy?  She wasn't sure.
 
 
 Scully raised her hand to the door of Faye
 Peters' home.
 
 "Hi, come on in," the woman said to Scully as
 she tugged on the collar of her tall,
 greyhound-looking dog.
 
 Faye motioned Scully to sit on the couch in her
 living room. She took her seat in the high back
 chair directly next to it.  "Regina, down," she
 commanded the dog and the dog took her place
 gracefully on the floor next to Faye.
 
 "She's a beautiful dog," Scully complimented.
 "Is she an Afghan hound?"
 
 "Thank you.  No, she's a Saluki, actually.  They
 come from Egypt where they were raised to hunt
 gazelles."
 
 "I see."
 
 Faye petted the dog.  "She keeps me company in
 this big old house."
 
 "So you are single?"
 
 She sighed.  "Yes," she said, still watching her
 dog.  "My husband and I divorced two years ago. 
 I got this house.  Then I got a dog.  My
 ex-husband is afraid of dogs and I'm afraid of
 him, so-"
 
 Scully felt suddenly uncomfortable.  "I'm sorry,
 I didn't mean to-"
 
 Faye shook her head.  "Don't worry about it -
 it's been a long time - at least it seems like
 it to me and I'm much stronger for having lived
 through it.  Besides, he hasn't bothered me for
 a good ten months now."  
 
 "Did you know Sarah long?"
 
 "Um, yeah, Jack and I moved in here about five
 years ago.  I knew her then, but I didn't get to
 really know her until she and Jimmy bought the
 house next door."
 
 "Do you think she and her husband were happy?"
 
 Faye looked as though she were forming her
 thought carefully.  "From what I know about
 them, yes, I would say they were happy together. 
 I sometimes thought that Sarah regretted having
 married so young, but that is merely my own
 conjecture, I don't know if she really felt that
 way.  She confided very little in me, actually. 
 She would tell me only bits of things about her
 life.  I do know she felt that they really
 couldn't afford that house and all of the
 renovations, but she kept quiet because buying
 it and fixing it up had been Jim's childhood
 dream.  But I do believe that resentment was
 starting to get the best of her lately."
 
 At that moment, Regina began to bark and growl a
 little under her breath and got up to look out
 the front window.  Scully looked out and noticed
 a bottled water delivery truck across the
 street.
 
 "Oh, there's Jack.  He's the water man.  He
 delivered to the medical group offices in town
 here where I work when we met, actually. Little
 did I know he was going to turn out to be such a
 nutcase."  She told Regina to come away from the
 window.  "She knows he's a threat.  I still get
 a little nervous when I see him come around and
 I think she can feel it in me.  It's why I buy
 water at the grocery store."
 
 "Pardon my asking, but was he very abusive to
 you?"
 
 She sighed deeply.  "Yeah, unfortunately.  I've
 had a restraining order against him ever since
 the divorce, but like I said before, he hasn't
 bothered me for quite a while now.  He's not a
 threat to anyone else, I don't think, he just
 made a lousy husband."
 
 Scully watched the man let himself into the
 house across the street.  She turned back to
 Faye and said, "Do you think Sarah was capable
 of killing her husband?"
 
 She chuckled a little.  "Have you seen Sarah? 
 She's so small, I worry sometimes that Regina
 will knock her over.  No, she had no reason to.
 Not that I'm aware of, anyway."
 
 Scully nodded in understanding.  She asked the
 next question for Mulder's sake.  "Do you
 think," she stopped, almost taking back the
 words.   No, I've got to explore all
 possibilities, she told herself.  "Do you
 believe that there is a ghost in that house?"
 
 She laughed and looked over in the general
 direction of the Tallis house.  She shrugged and
 said,  "I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I
 think there are plenty of things in this world
 we are unable to explain, to understand.  I
 never saw or heard the things Sarah said she
 did.  As far as I could tell, `Prudence' was
 just a pain in the ass to Jim, and not out to
 murder him.  I wonder if maybe she was just an
 imaginary friend of sorts, a very real
 fabrication of Sarah's mind, created to keep her
 company, or comfort her, or help her make
 dinner, or whatever.  And Jim was just victim of
 odd circumstances."
 
 "Do you know about this condition Jim developed,
 where he couldn't eat or breathe?"
 
 "Yes, and it is my opinion as his doctor's
 former R.N., that Jim had been stung by a wasp
 or something.  I told Sarah they should get a
 second opinion, but they didn't think it was
 necessary.  They knew it was Prudence.  And it
 went away almost immedidately.  It probably
 wasn't as bad as Sarah had made it seem."
 
 "And the suffocation?" she prompted.
 
 She shook her head.  "I really have no idea.  He
 had no enemies, but like I said, Sarah didn't
 offer too much personal information.  I'm sorry
 I can't offer more help than that."
 
 Scully stood, satisfied with the answers Faye
 had provided her.  "No, thank you.  You've been
 extremely helpful."  Scully shook her hand and
 Faye saw her to the door.
  
 
 Conversations with a few other people in the
 town revealed to Scully that no one really knew
 Sarah very well.  They either knew her only as a
 passing acquaintance or only recently from the
 newspapers.  She obviously was a person who kept
 very much to herself.  She had worked part-time
 at the grade school, as a special education
 teacher.  But she only came in 3 days a week to
 work with the children, so she had limited
 contact with the staff there. Those who knew her
 even a little said that she was a very sweet,
 caring woman and was able to work miracles with
 the children.
 
 It was late afternoon when she returned to the
 house.  Mulder was looking at the video he'd
 shot last night as he slept.  Scully looked at
 the TV and all she saw was snow, then a blue
 screen.
 
 "The camera brake?"  She said as she moved
 toward the living room.
 
 "No, I don't think so.  It taped about two
 minutes, and then it goes blank.  It had been
 running all night, though, because the tape was
 rewound when I took it out.  I don't know what
 happened.  I'm not surprised, though.  It's not
 unusual for equipment to fail when trying to
 capture ghosts on film."
 
 "Or when the video tape is bad already," she
 muttered under her breath.  "Are you hungry? 
 You want me to make dinner?"  That sounded
 weird, she thought.  `You want dinner, dear?' 
 
 "Oh, I think the Renners left food for us again. 
 There's a big chicken salad in the fridge.  And
 a bottle of wine, too."
 
 She shook her head.  "They really didn't have to
 do that," she said as she headed for the
 kitchen.
 
 As they ate, Mulder told her he'd found out that
 James Tallis, ironically sharing the same first
 name as Sarah's husband, was one of the founding
 members of the town.  He had a lot of influence
 and was even mayor for a few years in the late
 nineteenth century.  A wealthy man, he and his
 wife Prudence, did build the Tallis house in
 1877.  As for the divorce and Prudence Tallis'
 death, records showed that the divorce of the
 Tallises and Mrs. Tallis' accidental death did
 occur suspiciously closely together, but no
 criminal charges had ever been pressed.
 
 James Tallis and his new wife lived in the home
 another 5 years until moving to New England. 
 The house was not sold and remained empty for
 many years after they left.  It seemed to be
 inabited in short time periods by two different
 owners, but had been empty for a good thirty
 years before the Rosses purchased it.
 
 "Well, Mulder, I really had no luck getting any
 substantial leads either today.  And the history
 behind this house and the Tallises doesn't
 really help us to solve this case, you know."
 
 "Well, it might explain the basis of there being
 a ghost in here," he said, still holding fast to
 his belief.  "But I have come across something
 that might shed a different light on
 everything." 
    
 As he spoke those last words, Scully noticed a
 car pull up to the front of the house.  "Is that
 the Renners?"  She asked. 
 
 "Oh, yeah, I was going to tell you," he said,
 wiping his mouth and getting up with from the
 table.  "I think I've made a major breakthrough
 on this case, Scully.  I had them come over
 because I need to show them something and ask a
 few more questions."
 
 Mr. & Mrs. Renner had begun to let themselves
 into the house as Mulder and Scully reached the
 living room.
 
 "Evening," Mr. Renner greeted them.  "This is my
 wife, Linda.  Linda, these are Walter's top two
 agents, Mulder and Scully."
 
 Scully reached out and shook Linda Renner's tiny
 hand.  "I think you're husband flatters us too
 much, especially agent Mulder," Scully joked.
 
 "No, those are your Assistant Director's words. 
 You have yet to prove that to me.  Now what is
 it that you two have found out?"
 
 Scully felt a little embarrassed by Mr. Renner's
 comment, especially since she didn't have the
 slightest idea what Mulder had called them over
 for.  She looked at Mulder questioningly.
 
 Mulder motioned everyone sit down.  He took a
 deep breath and asked them, "Sarah hasn't spoken
 to anyone since she was found? Absolutely no
 recognition of you whatsoever?"
 
 "No, not a word.  Why?  Did she speak to you?" 
 Mr. Renner looked hopeful.
 
 Mulder shook his head. "No.  I'm sorry, that's
 not it." Scully watched as Mulder seemed to be
 trying to word his next thoughts carefully.  "I
 do, however, have reason to believe that this
 entity that you say killed your son-in-law may
 also be in some way responsible for your
 daughter's condition."
 
 Scully's heart rate increased from worry at
 where Mulder was taking this.  She watched Mrs.
 Renner's expression change slightly and Scully
 worried that whatever Mulder was going to say
 might have a negative effect on her already
 delicate mental state.
 
 "But Prudence liked Sarah," Linda Renner spoke
 for the first time since they'd gotten there. 
 Her voice was very small and thin.  "She was
 always making sure the house was locked, she
 cleaned things for Sarah and sang for her when
 she was sad...It was Jimmy she didn't like."
 
 Scully cleared her throat in hopes of gaining
 Mulder's attention.  She hoped to remove him
 from the room and knock some sense into him
 before he got Sarah's parents too upset.  Except
 Mulder didn't notice.
 
 "Mrs. Renner, I've done some unconventional
 investigating in the house, employing methods
 used by ghost hunters, gathering specific data
 which could imply that there is a ghostly entity
 in the house as you had said."  He grabbed an
 envelope from the coffee table."  I, well
 actually, Agent Scully took this photograph the
 other night in the master bedroom"
 
 Great Mulder, Scully thought, get me involved in
 this when I don't have the slightest idea where
 you're going with it.
 
 "I had the photo enhanced from this original
 one," he showed them the picture Scully had seen
 the other day in the restaurant.  "If you'll
 look in the corner by the dresser, there seems
 to be some kind of figure, huddled between the
 wall and the dresser."
 
 He handed them a series of photos one by one. 
 "These are the enhanced photos.  As you can see,
 the figure becomes clearer, beginning to take
 the shape of a person."  He handed them the
 final photo.  "This is the highest resolution; I
 want you to look closely at that same spot."
 
 The couple studied the picture for a moment and
 Mrs. Renner's eyes suddenly grew very large. 
 "Dear God, Troy," she said, "It's...it's
 *Sarah*."
 
 "No, it can't be," Mr. Renner responded in
 disbelief.  "What *is* this," he asked, looking
 at Mulder and Scully.  "What are you trying to
 tell us, that my daughter is a ghost in this
 house?"
 
 Scully now had the photo in her hand.  She had
 to admit there was definitely a person in that
 photograph.  A person who looked exactly like
 the Sarah Ross she'd seen in the hospital and in
 pictures all throughout the home.  "Mulder?" 
 Scully said, requesting an explanation.
 
 Mulder took a deep breath.  "It is my belief
 that Sarah is in this house.  At least, her soul
 or her consciousness is residing here." 
 The room was silent.  "I think whatever Sarah
 saw the day her husband was murdered was so
 traumatic that she, either willingly or
 unwilling was forced out of her body.  Then when
 you removed her from the house, she was unable
 to return to her body, or perhaps felt it too
 painful to do so."
 
 "Troy..." Linda Renner exchanged a knowing
 glance with her husband.  
 
 Mr. Renner grimaced and sighed.  "Linda you
 don't really think - "
 
 "It's like what I said before, Troy.  You know
 that Sarah -"
 
 He put his hand out to silence her.  He walked
 over to the window and looked out.
 
 "What, Mrs. Renner?"  Mulder pried.  "What did
 you say?"
 
 She took a deep breath and looked at Mulder and
 Scully.  "You see, Sarah, she used to practice,
 um, OBE's."
 
 "OBE's?" Scully asked.
 
 "Out of Body Experiences," Mulder expounded. 
 "Really?"
 
 "Yes, but not since she was a teenager, at least
 I didn't think she still did it.  In high
 school, Sarah became very interested in what I
 guess you call `new age' ideas."
 
 "Witchcraft," Mr. Renner interjected.  "It's
 just modern-day witchcraft disguised with peace
 symbols."  He turned away again.
 
 "Whatever you call it, Sarah learned how to
 remove herself from her body."  She looked at
 her husband and then went on.  "Sarah had
 leukemia, which has been in remission for almost
 10 years now.  When she was in High School,
 though, she underwent some painful treatments
 and so she learned how to leave herself - her
 body - during the treatments."
 
 Scully looked toward Mr. Renner.  "You don't
 believe this, do you Mr. Renner?"
 
 He laughed a little.  "No, no that's not it at
 all.  What Linda's saying is the truth.  Sarah
 went from a young girl we had to take into the
 hospital kicking and screaming to one who felt
 no pain from her treatments.  She *could* do
 that.  Leave herself like that." He moved to
 stand by his wife again.
 
 Mulder had more to say.  "I think if we were to
 bring her back to the room and encourage her to
 return to her body, she'll be able to tell us
 what happened the night her husband was killed."
 
 The couple was quiet and so Scully decided to
 offer a suggestion. "Perhaps the two of you
 should go home and discuss this together. 
 Agent Mulder has just suggested something very
 extraordinary. Take some time and figure out
 exactly how you feel about this before you make
 a decision."
 
 They agreed and then showed themselves out the
 door.  As he watched their car pull away, Mulder
 said, "We shouldn't wait, Scully.  It might
 become too late for Sarah if we wait too long."
 
 Scully sighed heavily.  "Mulder, I really wish
 you would have told me ahead of time what it was
 you planned on suggesting to them."
 
 "Why, so you could have told me ahead of time
 that I was being ridiculous?"
 
 Where had that come from?  "So that's a good
 enough reason to not consult with me anymore on
 matters concerning our cases?"
 
 He shrugged and picked up the photos again,
 saying nothing.
 
 Scully went on.  "You *know* what kind of effect
 your suggestion could have on them.  Mulder,
 they're still grieving and soon they're going to
 have to be making decisions about their
 daughter's permanent care."
 
 "Not if we can bring her back.  Scully, look at
 these photos.  *What* is this?   Why the hell
 would her figure show up in the picture if she
 really wasn't there?"
 
 "I don't know, Mulder.  But how," she searched
 for the words. "What if we bring her here and
 she doesn't snap out of it.  What then?  What is
 that going to do to her parents?"
 
 "I think it's going to work, Scully.  I don't
 know how, but it will."
 
 Scully sighed yet one more time.  "Alright," she
 conceded, "Say this does work and you're able to
 reunite her to her body; what if she can't tell
 us anything?  We still won't have an answer to
 the murder investigation and she still could end
 up in jail."
 
 He stared at her a few moments and finally said,
 "Sometimes, Scully, sometimes I wonder why I
 ever involve you in anything I do. After
 everything we've seen, everything we've been
 through together, how can you still refuse to
 see it?"  He watched her a moment and then said
 quietly, "It's *there,* Scully."
 
 The tone of Mulder's voice speaking those last
 thoughts made Scully wonder at exactly what it
 was he was referring to.  She was suddenly very
 uncomfortable for a totally inexplicable reason. 
 It was as though at some point they'd ceased to
 be talking about the case and were actually
 discussing something entirely different.
 
 "Mulder, I -,"
 
 The phone rang at that moment.  They stood
 looking at one another for a few rings until
 Mulder finally went to the phone.  Scully
 listened to Mulder's end of the conversation
 long enough to figure out it was Genevieve,
 apparently returning his call.  As she started
 up the stairs, she could hear him try to make
 her wait for him, but she pretended that she
 hadn't heard him.
 
 
 She took a long, cool shower, taking extra care
 and time with her normal routine, mostly to give
 Mulder as much time as he needed with Genevieve. 
 And she felt so worn out; this whole situation
 was really taking its toll on her.  She was
 perfectly aware that it wasn't Mulder's crazy
 ideas at all.  It wasn't the fact that he wasn't
 consulting with her on things. This case wasn't
 any different than any other they'd been on.
 These were disagreements they'd had a million
 times.  None of it was his fault.  It was hers,
 entirely, and she hated herself for being so
 ridiculous. 
 
 As she came out of the bathroom, Mulder called
 her into his room to tell her that the Renners
 had just called and said they'd decided to go
 through with it after all.  Scully was
 still very wary about the whole thing.  
 
 "Mulder are you sure this is a good idea?"
 
 "I don't see any other options for Sarah at the
 moment."
 
 Scully sighed and nodded slowly.
 
 "What?" he asked.  Scully shrugged and said
 nothing.  "If you feel that opposed to it, you
 don't have to be there."
 
 He had just proposed the very thing she'd been
 afraid of.  Further separation.   "Mulder, it's
 not that I'm opposed to it exactly.  I just feel
 like you and I aren't in sync with one another
 on this one.  It's like we're not...I don't
 know," she couldn't express herself the way she
 wanted to.  "This whole'ghost hunt'- it's
 ridiculous!"  Her voice began to raise a little,
 trying to get her point across.  She moved
 closer to him. "Mulder, you really have
 absolutely nothing to prove that a ghost could
 murder a man and frame his wife for it, then
 take her soul hostage in this house.  Mulder,
 the whole thing is, - it's just - preposterous!"
 
 He stood there with his mouth halfway open. 
 Scully could see that he was trying hard to keep
 his temper in check.   "Well, if you feel that
 way, maybe you just oughtta go back home now." 
 He wasn't even attempting to defend his theory
 with her.
 
 Scully felt the breath leave her lungs to see
 the look in his eyes. He was angry with her; she
 could feel it more than she could see it.  "So,
 you want me to say that you dismissed me from
 this case so that you could finish this
 ridiculous vein of investigation?"
 
 "I don't give a fuck what you write.  Tell them
 this was the case when I finally lost it.  You
 can tell them Spooky Mulder's finally lost it
 good this time.  You're gonna write it so that
 you come off looking like the star agent
 baby-sitting the Bureau's token nutcase anyway,
 so what the hell do I care what you write in
 your GODDAM FUCKING REPORT!"
 
 "You know that's not true." Her voice was small
 and shaky.
 
 "Really?"  He said, his voice and facial
 expression dripping with hurtful sarcasm.
 
 Scully wanted to stay and fight, but chewing on
 the inside of her cheek did nothing to inhibit a
 tear from streaking down her face.  She couldn't
 speak and didn't want to look at him looking at
 her that way so she left the room.
 
 The sound of his door slamming behind her felt
 like a smack in the face and so she started to
 cry, barely making it into her room before she
 sobbed out loud, just a little.  She shut the
 door and sunk to the floor in front of it.
  
 What is going on?  She asked herself as she
 tried to restore her composure.  She felt so
 unlike herself, so out of control with her
 emotions.  They felt unmanageable, indomitable. 
 She realized that she was not just afraid, but
 terrified of how Mulder's marriage to Genevieve
 would affect them.  And it was happening
 already, all by her own doing.
 
 She sat for over an hour in that same place
 before crossing the room to the bed.  She lay on
 top of the covers, hot and upset and knew she
 would not sleep tonight.  She hadn't meant to
 hurt him, just bring him back to earth.  She
 had, however, chosen the wrong route in trying
 to do so.  Unfortunately, knowing each other as
 well as they did, they also knew exactly how to
 hurt one another.
 
 She couldn't stand it after long and decided to
 try and apologize to Mulder.  She crept down the
 hall and opened his door slowly. "Mulder?" she
 called softly.   "You still awake?"
 
 He had his hands behind his head and was looking
 toward the ceiling.  After a few moments he
 sighed a,  "Yep."
 
 Scully stayed by the door and willed herself not
 to cry again. "Mulder, I...I'll go tomorrow if
 you want me to."
 
 He sat up quickly and looked at her.   `No,
 Scully.  I don't want you to go.  Not at all." 
 He extended his arm toward her.   "Come here. 
 Please."
 
 She proceeded slowly across the room.  When she
 reached the side of the bed, he grabbed her
 around the waist and pulled her, seated, gently
 next to him.  Holding her to him, he whispered, 
 "I'm sorry, Scully.  I said too much."
 
 "I did too." 
 
 "You are an amazing woman, Scully," he said
 quietly and Scully thought it was the most
 beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her. 
 She couldn't keep from closing her eyes because
 Mulder's voice seemed to travel through her ear
 canal and straight down her spine.  
 
 She pulled back so she could look into his eyes. 
 He was smiling a little, from what she could
 make out in the moonlight and she felt a wave of
 relief pass through her.  Mulder put his hand on
 the side of her head, bringing his thumb to rest
 on her ear.  He stroked a lock of her hair, his
 eyes never moving from hers.
 
 For the first time in a long time, Scully was
 having a difficult time reading his look.  Not
 because she couldn't, but because she was afraid
 of what she thought she saw.  The same look
 she'd seen the other night when he'd fed her
 grapes.  The same look she swore she'd seen even
 that night at her apartment when he told her he
 was getting married.
 
 He didn't stop stroking her hair and ear and
 Scully was beginning to find it difficult to
 breathe.  She felt a little drunk, and shut her
 eyes again.  Soon she felt another kind of
 sensation on her face. His lips.  At hers.  He
 pressed them there gently and then pulled back. 
 She felt him do it again, this time the pressure
 increased. Then again, this time with Scully's
 full response, her tongue already asking to meet
 with his.
 
 Immediately he pulled it into his mouth and
 sucked on it, making Scully whimper.  She felt
 herself fill with warm moisture.  Already.
 
 I want him, she thought, I need to have him.  
 "I need you, Mulder," she whispered into his
 mouth. 
 
                   end  3/5

One Belief Away
       Laura Blaurosen

Part 4/5

 Mulder took her by the shoulders and pushed her
 down onto her back.  He kissed her almost
 ferociously and Scully thought it was the most
 incredible sensation she'd ever felt.  She was
 thrilled to feel his body straining toward her
 and so she ground her hips into him, over and
 over, needing to show him how much she wanted
 him and what she wanted to give to him.  Mulder
 moaned into her mouth.
 
 Suddenly Scully wondered to herself how good
 Genevieve was to him in bed.  The thought made
 Scully yearn to show Mulder exactly what he
 would be missing by marrying her.  Everything
 she could and would do to him that Genevieve
 couldn't possibly do or do as well as she could. 
 She knew she'd have to work carefully.  She'd
 have to quickly find all the things that Mulder
 liked so he wouldn't be able to think straight
 and become aware of the ramifications of what he
 was doing.
 
 Meanwhile, Mulder had moved to her neck again
 and was alternately sucking and biting her
 there.  Scully moaned involuntarily and then
 felt Mulder grinding into her this time, his
 erection noticeably augmented.
            
 Sure, Mulder, I can do that for you.  Scully
 wasn't normally very vocal in bed, but she could
 make the adjustment.  And it actually wasn't
 very difficult for the way he was making her
 feel.  Absolutely incredible.   Her voice
 resonating deep in her chest she said,  `Oh,
 Mmmmulllderr, how did you know-ah!"
 
 She arched her back because he'd snaked his way
 up her T-shirt to find a breast.  He looked her
 squarely in the eye as he rubbed his thumb back
 and forth across the nipple.  His eyes were dark
 and his face was already covering with
 perspiration.
 
 Scully thought she saw a bit of hesitancy in his
 look so she groaned again for him.  "Mulder,"
 she gasped,  "Take it off, my sh-" Oh, jeez,
 this is going to be harder than I thought.  She
 wanted to be in control, cool and seductive, but
 he was melting her insides just at the thought
 of how he might make her feel.  She knew also,
 though, that she wanted that.  Needed it. 
 Needed to know what it felt like to lose control
 with him.  She knew she'd never be able to with
 anyone else but him.  And this would be her only
 chance to know that passion. His passion.  For
 her.  Not anyone else.
 
 He obliged her request and took the liberty of
 divesting her of her underwear as well.  She lay
 naked underneath him, trying to assemble enough
 brainpower to make her next move.  She lifted
 her head to him and kissed him, groaning
 incessantly into his mouth.  She let her hand
 trail down his torso and slip under the
 waistband of his boxers to find the evidence of
 his desire, his need. Her need.  Wrapping her
 hand gently around the length of him, his arms
 went weak.  Scully took the opportunity to push
 him down onto his back so she could have better
 access to him.  And ultimately, more control. 
 
 "Scully..." he groaned as she moved his boxers
 down off of him. "Scully, I- oh-(grunt)-jeez!"
 
 She had to work fast.  She knew he was probably
 about to try and stop what was happening, so she
 cupped him in one hand and brought her mouth
 down over him in one swift movement.  She
 massaged his testicles as she brought him in and
 out of her mouth rhythmically, letting her
 tongue drag up the sides of him as she went up,
 sucking hard as she moved down.  He trembled
 with her every movement.  She had him right
 where she needed him.  Well, for this moment,
 anyway.
 
 "Oh ScullyScullyScully," he hissed out and then
 gasped in another breath.
 
 As she continued her ministrations, she thought:
 Does she do this for you, Mulder?  Can she do it
 exactly this way, the ways you like it?  See,
 Mulder I *know* you.  Better than anyone. 
 Mulder began to shudder and she knew she'd
 better quit or she wasn't going to get anything
 out of this herself.  And she wanted plenty out
 of it.
 
 She took her mouth from him and his eyes flew
 open.   She bent down to his mouth and kissed
 him, hard, like he had done before.  'Can she
 kiss like this, Mulder?  Like the way I can?'  
 
 "Doesn't it feel good?"  She said that one
 aloud.
 
 "Oh...yeeaahh," He said and kissed her again. 
 His hand found its way down to her center and he
 proceeded to probe a finger inside, delving
 deeply within her.  "Oh, jeezzusscully... you're
 so wet.  So warm." His voice was thin.  He
 sounded almost surprised.
 
 "I know, Mulder.  For you.  Just for you," she
 whispered, then leaned her head back, just
 enjoying the tremors his hand's movements were
 sending through her body.  Moan, Dana, don't
 forget-"Ohh-" Except she didn't really have to
 affect any vocalizations.   "Mulder, Mulder,
 Mulder," she chanted over and over, circling and
 pushing herself into his hand.  Over and over,
 faster and faster.  He knew where to touch, what
 to do.    "Hoah god, Mulder, I'm gonna...you're
 making me...ohhh...."
 
 Bursting.  That's what she felt like.   'My
 insides are going to push out through my skin,
 starting with my heart and then my brain.' 
 
 Spent, she fell forward. Mulder whispered into
 her ear,   "Scully, that was beautiful.  I've
 never seen you look more beautiful."
 
 His words refueled her desire for him and she
 couldn't help thinking, `Am I more beautiful
 than Genevieve is when she comes?'  She looked
 down at him wickedly and said,  "Would you like
 to see it again?"
 
 "Oh yeah."
 
 "Ask me first."
 
 "What?"  He was panting.
 
 "Ask me.  Beg me for it, Mulder."  She reached
 around behind her and took him into her grasp
 again.  He seemed harder now than when she'd had
 him in her mouth.
 
 "Scully, please..." He could barely talk
 anymore. 
 
 She positioned herself directly above him and
 waited.   "Now, Mulder?"
 
 He brought his hands around her waist and
 attempted to push her down.  "Uh-uh, Mulder. 
 You gotta say it.  Tell me you want me."
 
 "Sssscully...godplease...no...can't..." He was
 holding his breath, making it difficult to
 speak.
 
 But she wanted to hear him say the words.  Say
 he wanted her more than anyone right at this
 moment.  "No, Mulder, say it.  Say it, dammit,
 and then I'll do it.  Then I'll fuck you like
 you want me to!"
 
 "I...want you-Ssscully-god...please now...
 pleasepleasenow... fuck me now."  His face was
 contorted, and he looked like he was in pain. 
 So Scully slowly lowered herself down over him. 
 Too slowly because Mulder used his hands to push
 her down the rest of the way.
 
 It took Scully by surprise and she let out a
 long, low  "Ohhh..." as she accustomed herself
 to the sensation of being wrapped around him
 completely.  When the mental awareness came over
 her, (Mulder's inside of me, god, finally), she
 moaned long again.  Then for a second she began
 to panic.  This was a really bad idea.
 
 It was Mulder who finally began the rhythm and
 she immediately forgot her reservations.  So
 good.  It was so good.  He felt so good inside
 of her. 'I'm making love with Mulder.  I can't
 fucking believe it.' "Ohh, Mulder, this
 feels...."
 
 "I know Scully, I know. Scully you're so hot, so
 ti - tight..."
 
 Scully sped up the rhythm, squeezing her
 gluteals and her thighs together on every up
 movement.  Mulder apparently liked this and
 Scully smiled to see him thrash his head back
 and forth on the bed. Squeeze up.  `She can't
 possibly feel this good, Mulder.'  Relax down.  
 `She can't possibly make you feel this good.' 
 Up.  `Not the way I can.'  Down.
 
 He was meeting her with every thrust and soon
 she needed more. She placed her palms flat on
 either side of him so she could speed up better. 
 In doing so, she found just the right angle,
 that one spot that made her quiver all over. 
 Mulder must have realized this too, for he began
 pumping his hips toward that spot.
 
 "Is that it there, Scully?  Is that where you
 like it?"
 
 "God. Yes.  Omigod, there, please."
 
 He took her arms and flipped the both of them
 over.  Scully was grateful because he managed to
 better reach that place with this added
 leverage.
 
 "Muldermuldermulder," she couldn't see him
 anymore.
 
 "Give it to me, love.  Come for me, Scully," he
 implored her. 
 
 God, she never knew sex could feel like it did
 with Mulder.  He knew her.  Knew exactly what to
 do.  Why had she waited so long to do this?  He
 had brought her so close, she was so close. 
 "Harder, Mulder, I need to-"
 
 "Come on, Scully," Thrust.  "Come on." Thrust. 
 "Come on!" One more forceful thrust and she was
 there, floating above herself, her soul trying
 to mingle with his.  
 
 He met her after her fall, exploding hard into
 her then collapsing, breathless on top of her.
 
 Then everything was quiet.
 
 My god, she thought, what have I just done? 
  
 With regained breath, Mulder brought himself up
 and looked at her. Long.  Scully saw the guilt
 creep over his face, drowning out the desire
 she'd seen only moments ago.   "Mulder," she
 whispered and touched his face.  "Oh god,
 Mulder, I'm so sorry.  I didn't, I mean,
 I - "
 
 It was futile, though.  Mulder removed himself
 from her and proceeded to the bathroom.  Once
 Scully heard the water running, she began to
 cry.  'What a whore.  What the fuck did I just
 do?'  
 
 When she heard the water shut off again, she
 quick grabbed her robe and fled from the room. 
 She curled up on the couch and prayed Mulder
 wouldn't follow her down.  Then she prayed he
 would forgive her.  Then she prayed he would not
 hate her.
 
  
 Scully had thought she'd fallen asleep when she
 felt a hand running through her hair,
 soothingly.  She figured it must be Mulder, but
 then heard a woman's voice, airy and displaced,
 singing...
       
     ...Brother, art thou worn and weary
         Tempted, tried, and sore oppressed?
 
 She opened her eyes and saw nothing.  A dream. 
 She must be longing for that comfort in her
 sleep.  
 
       ...Listen to the word of Jesus 
           `Come unto me and rest...'
 
 Then,  "Dana..." It was a woman's voice.  
 
 She rubbed her hand across her face and tried to
 focus.  She wished she had her glasses nearby,
 but couldn't recall where she'd left them.  
 "Who's there?" she whispered.
 
 "Dana, did you enjoy it?"
 
 What?  She shot up out of the couch and switched
 the light on, except that it didn't go on.  Her
 gun, where was it?  Upstairs. "Where are you? 
 Show yourself."  She spoke loudly, hoping
 Mulder would hear her and come down.
 
 "Dana, he will not hear you."
 
 "Who are you?"  Scully shivered.  It was very
 cold in the room suddenly.  She moved around the
 room on shaky legs, trying every light in the
 room.  Not one of them would turn on.  
 
 "I want to help you, Dana.  You are so troubled. 
 I want to help you."
 
 Scully headed toward the stairs.  Her knees gave
 and she dropped to the floor.  She couldn't
 move.  Then she saw her.  A woman standing above
 her.  She was very bright and looked to be a
 very stout looking, older woman.  She was having
 a hard time focusing on the woman, couldn't make
 out any really fine details.  Scully felt
 paralyzed.
 
 'Dreaming.  I've got to be dreaming.  Why can't I
 just wake up?' "What are you doing here?  How do
 you know my name?"
 
 "Don't feel badly, dear.  It wasn't all your
 fault.  I did help a little.  I know how deep
 your feelings are for him."
 
 Scully was overtaken by an overwhelming, intense
 guilt, remembering the detestable thing she had
 done only hours ago. "How do you know anything?
 You're just an apparition, a manifestation of my
 conscience."  She spoke the words, hoping more
 to convince herself of their truth.
 
 "I do know, Dana.  I know.  I know also that his
 feelings are strong, too.  For you only.  I
 didn't have to encourage him that much.  Most of
 it he did of his own accord."
 
 Scully had a sick feeling in the pit of her
 stomach.  "Did what? What did he do?  You're not
 making sense!  You don't know what you're
 talking about!" 
 
 The apparition did not respond, but looked
 toward the staircase.  Scully watched as the
 apparition disappeared.  She sat, unmoving, for
 several moments.
 
 "No!"  She said and found herself on the couch
 again, the throw still wrapped around her from
 when she thought she'd fallen asleep.  Except
 that all the lights were on in the living room. 
 Sleepwalking. She was obviously was feeling
 extremely remorseful for what she'd made Mulder
 do.  That could be the only reason for such a
 lucid dream. She rubbed her eyes and looked out
 the window.  The sun was out.  It was morning. 
 Saturday morning.  Mulder's wedding day.
 Mulder's wedding day.  
 
 What a fucking night.  Well, she certainly
 fulfilled her duties as his best man.  One last
 night as a bachelor.
 
 Had it all been a dream?  No, she had really
 done what she had done.  She could still feel
 it, almost still feel him inside her.  She felt
 suddenly warm.  God, it had felt incredible.  'I
 love him so much.  And now I'm sure he doesn't
 even want me in his life anymore.  Way to go.'
 
 ______________
 
 Mulder spoke very little to her that morning,
 barely even looking her in the face.  She had
 tried to hand him a cup of coffee, but he
 wouldn't take it, wouldn't pick it up off the
 counter until she left to take a shower.  While
 in the shower, she decided that she would just
 follow Mulder's lead and just not talk about it. 
 She could play the silence game, too.  
 
 When she reappeared on the porch where Mulder
 was sitting, she said to him timidly, "It's real
 humid today, isn't it?"
 
 He looked at her briefly and nodded.  Then they
 were silent.  Finally, just as Scully was
 turning to go back into the house, Mulder asked
 her, "So, are you coming with me this morning to
 pick up Sarah Ross?"
 
 "You're really going to go through with this?  I
 mean, you were supposed to get -," she stopped
 herself, suddenly very embarrassed at the
 implications of the statement she was about to
 make.  
 
 He looked at her at shook his head slowly.  His
 face was solemn and his eyes empty.  "We
 postponed it," he said simply.  "She's gotta
 stay in Chicago through Tuesday."
 
 They were both silent for a few more minutes. 
 Scully furiously wracked her brain to come up
 with something else to say about last night, but
 said instead, "Well, let's go, Mulder.  I'm
 ready."
 
 He grabbed the keys off of the table next to the
 chair he was sitting in.  Scully couldn't help
 but wonder at that; Had been ready to leave
 without her this morning, but at the last second
 decided to wait for her?  She could only hope
 that were true.  That way she knew he didn't
 completely hate her.
 
 _____________________
 
 After a heated argument between Sarah's doctor
 and Mr. Renner, Dr. Moore finally gave in and
 let them take Sarah from the hospital.  
 
 Sarah was completely limp so they had to take
 her to the car in a wheelchair and it took the
 three of them to get her into the vehicle. 
 Scully and Sarah's mother sat in the back on
 either side of her.  Scully watched as Mrs.
 Renner took her daughter's arm and hugged it to
 her.  "You're gonna be fine, baby," she heard
 her whisper.  "This is going to help you get
 better."
 
 Scully knew Mrs. Renner had said the words to
 comfort herself as much as Sarah.  If Sarah was
 really with us.  In this car.  A body with no
 soul?  She couldn't fathom it.  She certainly
 believed in the existence of a soul.  There was
 even some scientific evidence to suggest the
 existence, though it still could not completely
 be proven.  But could a person live without
 their soul?  Sarah, by all means and in Scully's
 vast experience with corpses, seemed like a
 living corpse.  She felt like one, and even
 looked like one, yet she could still breathe and
 had a functioning body.
 
 It made her think about babies who are born with
 only the stem of a brain.  They could sustain
 life for over even 12 months, but the child
 would never be able to do more than digest it's
 food.  Did those babies have a soul, even if
 they were unable to ever be conscious of it or
 anything else?
 
 
 Other than the conversation necessary to bring
 Sarah into the house, no one spoke much.  It
 seemed very quiet and still in the house.  Mrs.
 Renner turned to Scully as they climbed the
 stairs and asked her if she thought this was
 going to work.
 
 Such an innocent question asked of the enitrely
 wrong person.  "We can only pray it will, Mrs.
 Renner," was the only thing she could think of
 to say to her.
 
 Once in the bedroom, they propped Sarah up in a
 chair.  The task completed, everyone sort of
 looked at one another.  Mrs. Renner knelt on the
 floor next to the chair and held Sarah's arm. 
 She closed her eyes and Scully assumed she must
 be praying.  
 
 Scully looked at Mulder, who appeared to be a
 little ill at ease.  She wondered if he finally
 was realizing right at this moment that he had
 gotten into something he really knew very little
 about.
 
 "Talk to her," Mulder said, breaking the extreme
 silence.  "She needs to hear familiar voices to
 help her realize that her physical body is here
 with us."
 
 Scully watched the Renners talk to Sarah for a
 few moments.  She felt very uncomfortable about
 this still and started for the door.  Mulder's
 hand on her shoulder startled her a bit.  She
 turned and looked at him.  "Don't go," he said
 quietly.  "I need you here."
 
 Of course, she would not refuse him.  Mulder was
 afraid of what was going to or not going to
 happen next, she could see it in his face.  He
 still needs me, she thought hopefully.
 
 "Mulder, maybe I should run next door and get
 Faye Peters.  It's one more familiar voice,
 maybe she'll react to her," she offered and
 Mulder smiled his thanks.
 
 Scully ran quickly and hoped that Faye was home. 
 Thankfully she was and when Scully explained
 what they were doing, Faye did not hesitate to
 come over.  "Just a minute.  I'm going to bring
 Regina, Sarah had - has - a fondness for her and
 Regina for Sarah."
 
 When they reached the bedroom, Mrs. Renner
 thanked Faye for coming.  The dog sat in front
 of Sarah as directed and Faye took Sarah's other
 hand.  "Sarah, it's Faye."  Faye looked up at
 everyone.  "She's so cold," she said with a
 worried look.
 
 She was indeed very cold and Scully noticed that
 Sarah seemed paler than when then they'd taken
 her from the hospital.  She started to get a
 little more concerned.
 
 Mr. Renner grabbed a down blanket from the top
 shelf of the closet and handed it the two women. 
 As they wrapped Sarah in the blanket, Faye's dog
 began to whimper.
 
 "Regina, quiet," Faye implored the animal, but
 it only incited her to barking louder.
 
 "Regina, please," she commanded again, but the
 dog was barking and growling ferociously now,
 her vocalizations aimed in the direction of the
 closet.  Faye begged the dog to stop, but to no
 avail.
 
 "Regina, stop barking, please."
 
 The room fell silent.  It was Sarah who had
 spoken.  
 
 Sarah looked around.  "Mom, why is it so cold in
 here?" she asked and her parents embraced her.  
 
 They encouraged her to stand.  Naturally, she
 was very shaky and disoriented.  After a few
 moments, Mr. and Mrs. Renner said they were
 going to take Sarah back home with them so she
 could recuperate.
 
 "Uh, I think that the police are going to want
 to talk to her as soon as possible."  Scully
 reminded them.
 
 Sarah looked as though she just remembered
 something.  "I didn't kill Jimmy.  It wasn't
 me," she said and looked toward Faye.  "It was
 Jack, Faye."
 
 
 It didn't take the police long to track down
 Jack Peters.  They found and arrested him in his
 apartment and he confessed immediately.  It
 turned out that Jack had come that day to
 deliver their water and Sarah had let him into
 the house.  She left him to go about his
 business and he went and found Jim Ross asleep
 in his room, where he proceeded to pin him down
 and suffocate him to death with a pillow.
 
 It was jealousy that had prompted Jack to kill
 Jim Ross.  Not because he thought Faye and Jim
 were having an affair, but because Jim and Sarah
 were Faye's friends and he couldn't stand to see
 her happy and satisfied with her life without
 him.
 
 Scully's stomach churned when she'd heard that
 part of his confession.  It hit a little too
 close to home.
 
 Scully caught Sarah Ross just as she was leaving
 the police station.  "Sarah, I need to ask you
 something," she said, "There's one thing I don't
 get.  If you were in the room when Jack killed
 your husband, why didn't he go after you, too?"
 
 "He started to.  He grabbed me when he realized
 I had seen what he'd done.  I was so confused
 and frightened that I think out of a learned
 instinct, I separated myself from my body.  I
 did not want to return because I knew that Jimmy
 had left me.  I wanted to go to him.  But I
 couldn't, - I was still alive - and Prudence was
 there, telling me I had to stay, that it wasn't
 my time yet."
 
 "Yes, but Sarah, you still haven't answered my
 question.  Why didn't Jack hurt you?"
 
 "He got spooked.  Just before I separated, I
 heard a dog barking.  That's when he let go of
 me.  And I believe it was Regina, too.  Regina's
 consciousness, that it is."  She paused and
 offered further explanation.  "Animals are
 extremely psychic, more so than a human can ever
 be.  I think she knew I was in trouble and came
 to help."  
  
 Scully nodded her thanks for the explanation
 even though she couldn't bring herself to
 believe much of it.  Before turning to go,
 Scully said, "Oh, please tell your mother thanks
 for us.  She left us food every night we stayed
 in your house.  It was very thoughtful."
 
 Sarah Ross looked at her strangely.  "Oh, Ms.
 Scully, it couldn't have been my mother who left
 you food.  Not anything very tasty, anyway.  My
 mother's a great person, but she's an awful
 cook."  She laughed a little.  "It was probably
 Prudy who cooked for you."
 
 Scully simply smiled and kept herself from
 disputing Sarah's words.  She started to leave
 again when Sarah said to her, "It isn't my
 business, Ms. Scully, but you need to tell him
 how you feel."
 
 Scully felt the heat rising in her cheeks when
 she thought about the implications of Sarah's
 statement.  If Sarah's consciousness had been in
 that room, her bedroom, with them on Friday
 night, would she have seen what they had done? 
 It was impossible, Scully knew, but she had an
 eerie feeling right at that moment that Sarah
 had been reading her thoughts. Scully said
 nothing and left to find Mulder.
 
                end 4/5

One Belief Away
       Laura Blaurosen

Part 5/5

 The ride to the airport in Springfield was only
 about 20 minutes long, but it felt like an
 eternity to Scully.  Mulder hadn't said a word
 to her since they'd left the police station. 
 She spent half the ride trying to come up with a
 halfway decent apology for what had happened
 last night.
 
 `Sorry, Mulder.  Sorry I made you sleep with me.
 Sorry I started your marriage off with a bang,
 so to speak.  Sorry I love you so goddam much
 that I wanted to see what it felt like to make
 love to you before you left me alone.'
 
 She knew she had to say something.  Anything. 
 She couldn't keep hiding herself from him.  He
 deserved to know exactly how she was feeling. 
 She had to put her silly cowardice away.  That
 part of her that had kept her from showing
 Mulder exactly how she felt.  That same part
 that kept herself from being conscious of it. 
 That part that cost her Mulder's complete,
 undivided devotion to her and not another woman.  
 
 It was a devotion she had never even craved from
 her father. The thought of a man being that
 devoted to her scared her to death, which was
 probably why she'd ignored the desire of wanting
 it from Mulder.  What if I did tell him and he
 gave me that affinity and then proceeded to
 swallow me whole?  Until all that was there was
 my association to him, and no `me' anymore.  She
 didn't know if she could handle it.
 
 So now Mulder was marrying another.  Now she
 would never know.  
 
 
 "Mulder, I-"
 
 He held his hand out to stop her.   "Don't. 
 Don't say anything.  Let's just, let's just
 forget about it.  Okay?"
 
 She chewed on the inside of her cheek.  No, it's
 not okay. "Okay." 
 
 She wished he'd yell at her instead of being so
 indifferent about it. Wished he'd slap her or
 call her a whore.  That's how she felt.  She
 wanted so desparately to at least be able to
 apologize.
 
 There was another long silence and Scully could
 tell he was trying to say something to her.  
 "Scully, um, I'm...I'm gonna go up to Chicago
 before I go back home.  I'll probably stay there
 through Tuesday."
 
 "Yeah, I kind of figured you might."  And that
 was all she could say to him after that,
 otherwise she knew she would break into a crying
 fit.  They separated at the ticket counter.
 
 When she looked up at the monitor, she saw the
 next flight to D.C. was scheduled to leave only
 3 minutes after the next flight to O'Hare field. 
 She shook her head at the ironic coincidence. 
 Three minutes too late.
 
 ---------------------
 Tuesday next
 9:38 p.m.
 
 Scully finished up the report on the Ross murder
 in between wondering when Mulder would call her
 and whether or not she should try to contact
 him.  The report won out, even though it took
 her two hours longer than it really should have. 
 She sent the document to the printer as a knock
 sounded at her door.  
 
 She looked out the window and spotted Mulder's
 car. Deja vu.
 
 "Hey there," she said as she let him in.
 
 "Hey."
 
 Silence.
 
 "Uh, come in, I'll uh, I'll make coffee."
 
 "You know, I'd really like a beer if you have
 any."
 
 Of course she did.  She didn't drink it much
 herself, but somewhere along the line she had
 started making sure she had things in her house
 that Mulder liked.  Everything, she realized as
 she pulled the bottle from the refrigerator,
 everything she did at this point involved him in some
 fashion or another.  She almost couldn't help
 herself anymore.  She'd never even noticed it
 happen.  The one thing she had been terrified of
 happened without her ever being conscious of it. 
 And it wasn't painful.  Not at all.  
 
 He looked great, she thought as she handed him
 the bottle. Tired, but he looked like the Mulder
 she knew.  The Mulder she loved.
 
 She motioned him to sit at her table.  "How was
 Chicago?" she asked leadingly.
 
 He swallowed a sip of the beer.  "Fine.  It was
 fine.  Rainy."
 
 She hadn't wanted a weather report, she wanted
 to know about Genevieve.
 
 She nodded.  "Yeah, it rained here, too."
 
 "Yeah, I saw that on the news."
 
 "Uh, I finished our report tonight."  She looked
 over her shoulder toward the computer.  "I was
 going to e-mail it to you, but I forgot."  She
 got up and practically ran to the living room. 
 "Let me go get it for you.  You can have this-"
 
 "I'm not going to marry her, Scully," he
 interjected as she babbled on.
 
 "-copy." She stood still in front of the
 printer.
 
 "I thought I wanted to.  I thought that I loved
 her.  Man did I ever think I did."  He walked
 over and stood behind her.
 
 Scully was paralyzed.  She felt so guilty, still
 for having seduced him the way she had.  For
 playing into his innocent flirtations, for
 feeling such negativity (jealousy) toward
 Genevieve and Mulder's marriage.
 
 "Scully," he said softly and laid his large hand
 on her shoulder.  "Do you know why I can't marry
 her?"
 
 Tears were flowing again and Scully was angry
 with herself for it.  She nodded and sobbed,
 "Yes, I know.  It's all my fault.  It wasn't
 fair, what I made you do.  I had no right. I am
 so, so, sorry, Mulder.  I didn't mean to ruin
 everything for you."
 
 "Scully," he looked surprised to see her so
 upset.  "What are you talking about?  What you
 *made* me do?"  He wiped a tear from her face.
 
 She pulled her head away from him.  "Mulder, I
 think you should go."
 
 "Go?  Scully, do you honestly think that I made
 love with you that night because you'd seduced
 me beyond all rational thought?"  He laughed a
 little.  "Because if that's what you're
 thinking, I can assure you, I knew exactly what
 I was doing.  I knew exactly what I wanted."
 
 Scully blushed and continued to avert her eyes
 from him.  "But, Mulder, why did you even ask
 her to marry you if you didn't really want to?"
 
 "Because I knew I couldn't ever have what I
 really wanted.  At least that's what I had
 thought."  He paused.  "Scully, as soon as I got
 here last week to tell you, I knew I was
 probably making a mistake."  He forced her gaze. 
 "When you kissed me that night, everything
 changed suddenly. I really had thought that you
 didn't want me that way.  Then at that moment, I
 wasn't so sure anymore.  And then, Friday night,
 when you said you wanted me - needed me - and
 you made me feel things I've never felt in my
 entire life; I knew for certain I couldn't marry
 her."
 
 She blushed again.  He brought his fingers under
 her chin and made her look at him because she
 had looked away again.  "Scully, I love you.
 Love *you*," he whispered.
 
 Scully saw tears welling in his eyes now.  He
 was blurred to her through her own tears as he
 brought his mouth to hers and gently pressed
 them there.  She inhaled quickly and leaned into
 him, enjoying the now very familiar feel of his
 lips.
 
 They were hers now.  He was giving them to her. 
 And she could do nothing else but give him hers
 and anything else he asked of her.  She
 surrendered her independence and was surprised
 to feel no different than she always had with
 him.  It was just another step that they had
 been destined to take.  But like all the other
 steps in their relationship, this one had been
 just as difficult to realize.
 
 "No ghosts, Scully," Mulder whispered directly
 into her ear canal and Scully's knees went weak. 
 He held her tightly and kissed the skin just
 below her ear for what seemed to Scully like a
 half an hour.  It was driving her nuts and
 Mulder knew it.  She felt him swell and push
 into her body as he held her.  He broke her from
 her hypnotic state when he spoke into her ear
 again,  "Let me take you into your room."
 
 "Yes," she whispered, but was unable to move. 
 Her heart pounded in her ears and all she was
 aware of was him.  She couldn't see the rest of
 her apartment.  All of her senses were focused
 and used up on him.  
 
 Eventually she felt him coax her toward her
 bedroom.  A walk that could take her as little
 as two seconds felt like an eternity tonight. 
 Once inside the room, Mulder fumbled around for
 a light.
 
 He reached for a lamp on her dresser, but she
 stopped him.  "No, not that one," she said.  She
 managed to cross to the corner of the room where
 she had a tiny lamp sitting on a table that had
 belonged to Melissa.  She felt it a ceremonious
 moment as she turned it on and then twisted the
 blinds shut.  She had always imagined that if
 she and Mulder were to ever make love in her
 room, that light would be on, casting its
 amber-colored light throughout her room and on
 Mulder.
 
 She looked back at Mulder, who had taken his
 tennis shoes off and pushed them aside.  He was
 really staying, she became consciously aware of
 it now and so she took a labored breath.  We're
 really going to do this again.
 
 She moved to the bed and sat at the edge so she
 could take off her own shoes and socks.  Mulder
 came over to her and knelt on the floor, taking
 her hands in his after she'd finished her task. 
 She leaned down and kissed him.  Mulder let his
 tongue graze back and forth across her lips and
 continued to do so even after she'd opened her
 mouth before finally entering.  It was a slow
 and lingering kiss, not frantic like their
 kisses had been the other night.
 
 The warmth she felt emanated through her chest
 and she felt her nipples harden.  The kiss was
 wonderful, but she wanted to feel his skin. 
 Wanted to touch it, smell it, taste it.  She
 grabbed at his T-shirt, pulling at it
 desperately.  
 
 "Mmscully," he took her hands and looked up at
 her.  "Slow down, we have all night.  I'm not
 going anywhere."
 
 That he wanted to take this carefully aroused
 her all the more.  But she didn't know if she'd
 be able to handle going so slowly.  "Mulder,"
 she begged, "I need to touch you."
 
 He smiled and took his shirt off for her.  She
 brought her mouth to his neck, kissing him all
 along his collarbone and making her way to the
 tendons around his neck.  "Scully," he said
 again.  "Scully, hang on.  I've gotta get these
 jeans off."
 
 She laughed deep in her chest and scooted
 herself back on the bed toward the headboard.
 Mulder crawled after her, clad now only in his
 boxers.  Her face was burning.  He was so
 beautiful and he wanted to be hers.  She could
 hardly believe it.  Except that it was plainly
 evident to her, even with his boxers still on.
 
 "Mulder, we don't have to, I mean, I don't need
 to," she didn't know how to word it.  "I'm ready
 now, too."
 
 "Uh-uh," he said.  "No way."  He took her around
 the waist and pulled her T-shirt up over her
 head.  He gently pushed her back onto the bed
 and put his mouth to her neck.  He laved there
 with his tongue and Scully was soon aware that
 it was she, not Mulder, who couldn't stop
 groaning.
 
 She pulled him closer to her so that she had one
 of his legs between her two.  She knew already
 that it was there, but feeling his erection
 pushing into her thigh made her even warmer,
 wetter.  "Please, Mulder," she didn't care about
 any of the other stuff, she needed him now. 
 "Please, I just want you now."
 
 But he had a plan and would not be diverted. 
 "Nope," he whispered and moved away from her so
 he could pull down her leggings.  Slowly he
 peeled them down her smooth legs.  He looked
 back at her, lying there in only her underwear. 
 The look was so reverent and it made Scully feel
 beautiful.
 
 She pulled her legs up so that her knees were
 bent and reached over to take Mulder's hand. 
 She placed it on her chest and Mulder took the
 cue.  He leaned down and settled his nose
 between her breasts, kissing her there.  She ran
 her fingers through the hair on his neck and
 then down and around his shoulders.
 
 Soon Scully couldn't stand it.  She reached
 behind her back and unclasped the bra herself. 
 She pulled it away from her body and threw it
 aside.  Just as she was about to beg him to do
 so, he moved his mouth to one of her breasts. 
 He brushed his lips along the underside of it,
 back and forth until finally moving to the
 nipple and running his tongue over it. Again and
 again, one then the other, until once more,
 Scully realized she had been moaning.
 
 His hand trailed down her torso and back up
 again.  "Oh, Mulder, please.  Please just do it. 
 I can't wait anymore."  
 
 She closed her eyes and waited.  He took her
 panties off and then she felt nothing for a few
 moments.  Scully opened her legs wider to him,
 hoping he would get the idea.  Then he was
 there, his mouth at her center and Scully
 thought she would explode.  No, maybe implode. 
 No, combust.  Mulder would appreciate that one. 
 Yes, you're honor, my partner spontaneously
 combusted while I brought her to orgasm.
 
 She would have laughed at her thought, but she
 could manage nothing else but whimpers.  All
 sensation was focused on the feel of Mulder's
 tongue circling and rubbing and licking at her,
 in a perfect rhythm until she was feeling the
 warmth radiating down her legs to her feet.  She
 pushed herself into his face, trying to heighten
 her sensations
 
 "Ho-hogod, Mulder," she cried, "I'm-0hhh."  She
 then followed with a noise that was somewhere
 between a grunt and a wail.
 
 He took his face away and replaced it with two
 fingers, picking up on her rhythm and rubbing
 them in a circle around her clitoris.
 
 She squeezed her eyes shut.  "Mulder, fas,
 fas-ter"
 
 He obeyed.  She opened her eyes again to notice
 that he had his hand in his shorts, pleasuring
 himself as he did it to her.  "Mulder, come
 here, let me," she reached for him.  He took her
 flailing hand and showed her where he was.  He
 felt so big, massive, thick.  She squeezed him
 and rubbed him as best she could as he brought
 her closer and closer to the edge.
 
 He was moaning, and she thought she was hearing
 him tell her what she was doing felt really
 good.  But soon she was unable to continue for
 him, craving her own release now.  She pumped
 her hips madly into his hand.
 
 She heard his voice encouraging her, but she
 hadn't needed it.  Just a couple more and she
 burst, her legs squeezing together and clamping
 down on his hand.
 
 She lay there breathing heavily with her eyes
 closed for a few moments until she felt his lips
 touch hers.  Scully grabbed his head and plunged
 her tongue into his mouth, caressing and tasting
 him. 
 
 Finally pulling away she said in a breathy
 voice,  "Alright Mulder, now.  I'm not waiting
 any longer."
 
 He laughed and moved over her, putting himself
 in position.  It suddenly occurred to Scully in
 that moment that she had never told him.  He had
 said it, but she hadn't.  Not out loud. "Mulder,
 wait," she said.
 
 He looked at her funny and breathed out, "What?"
 
 "Mulder, I never told you.  I haven't said it
 yet."
 
 "Doesn't matter."
 
 She shook her head.  It did matter.  "Mulder, I
 love you, love you so much."  A tear began to
 fall and he wiped it away from her face with his
 lips, just at the moment she felt him fill her.
 
 It wasn't long into the movements he'd started
 that he found that place he'd found the other
 night.  She quivered and shuddered, over and
 over and felt the tension begin to build in her
 belly again.  She reached her hands back and
 grabbed onto her headboard, giving her the
 leverage she needed to raise her pelvis as high
 as she could.
 
 She rocked and he pumped and Scully hoped in the
 back of her head that the one slightly short
 slat she had under her box spring wouldn't pick
 this moment to fall through.  Mulder was
 thrusting into her with such force she wondered
 if he might manage to pull the whole bed apart.
 
 But the building could have been on fire and she
 wouldn't have cared until she felt that release
 again.  She extended one leg toward the ceiling,
 just as he pulled out and pushed back in again,
 giving her that release and she unfurled,
 breathing quickly and thanking Mulder out loud.
 
 He followed her and somewhere in her
 consciousness she felt him shooting into her,
 filling her with the seed she'd never be able to
 utilize, but that made her feel very alive
 nonetheless.
 
 
 They lay awake for several minutes in silence,
 Scully's back pressed up against Mulder's chest,
 his arms wrapped around her waist.  Scully felt
 Mulder's nose rubbing up and down at the base of
 her neck.  He kissed her there, perhaps in
 silent apology.
 
 There were a million things Scully wanted to say
 to him, but she began to drift off instead.  She
 yawned and Mulder quietly encouraged her to fall
 asleep if she wanted to.  
 
 What she really wanted was to luxuriate in the
 feel of him holding her as long as possible, but
 she knew she was too tired to do so for long
 tonight.  But he was here tonight, which meant
 he'd be there in the morning, too.
 
 She snuggled into his back and Mulder squeezed
 her even more tightly to him.  Happy.  She felt
 so happy.  She hadn't known it had been so long
 since she'd felt such elation.  
 
 And it had been such a small exchange, such a
 tiny sacrifice.  Just one simple realization. 
 One simple belief.


                   end