TITLE: Old Ghosts 1/6 AUTHOR: Marsha Taylor-Bare & Cheryl De Luca EMAIL ADDRESSES:Cheryld@netcom.ca & Barelyhere@email.msn.com ARCHIVE:Anywhere is fine as long as our names and addresses remain attached SPOILER WARNING:FTF, and fifth season RATING: R CONTENT WARNING: Minor disturbing imagery, and sexual content. CLASSIFICATION: X-file/ MSR SUMMARY: Mulder goes off to handle a case on his own and unwittingly puts his partner and their relationship at risk. RANDOM RAMBLINGS: If you are particularily avoidant of MSR this is not the story for you. However if you do like a little angst thrown in with your x-file this just might do.. Feedback is more than welcome. Thanks and enjoy the story! June 1998 Both agents were engrossed in their latest case file when the phone let out a shrill ring. The noise of it broke through the shuffling quiet and the stuffiness of the newly remodeled basement office, and intruded with an unwanted distraction. The man who's desk the phone occupied reached out and scooped the receiver up out of it's cradle mumbling a distracted "Mulder," as he brought it to his ear. "Can you Hold??" The voice on the other end of the phone ventured, and then without waiting for a reply Skinner's secretary pressed the little red button that sent him into elevator music oblivion. Mulder sighed, his eyes hadn't even ventured from the paper he was reading. He'd been trying for the better part of the day to concentrate on the dragging and stiflingly bothersome paperwork that associated itself with most government jobs. He flipped the page he'd come to the end of, the words he was reading were understandable but barely registering as he checked over the final draft of their report. Normally he dreaded the paper work but this day in particular his weak attempts at explaining the bogus case they had spent major tax dollars on made filling out the reports an even more loathsome task than usual. His eyes drifted to the last line of the last paragraph. Done up in italics the word "hoax" stood out clearly from the others. He grimaced slightly as he reached for his pen. It had been his choice to pick up the case, and from the beginning Scully had been emphatic about the fact that it HAD to be a fabrication of some sort. He looked up from his papers and over to where she sat, her fingers were frantically tapping away at the keyboard of her laptop. She had been right. It had been both a crank and a disappointment, and the humiliation of it was still fresh in his mind. He grinned secretly to himself, but the bet he'd lost to his partner had made it worth the indignity he'd endured. Shifting the receiver to his other ear, he scratched his signature in the appropriate space and set the report aside. Then with a mental groan he reached out and picked up his half completed expense report. This task had been left for last. If case reports were boring, expense reports had the ability to make him comatose. A state, when considering his already waning attention span, wasn't too far off. Just staring at all the little numbers on the page would have given him an enormous push towards indulging the ever growing fantasy he was entertaining, about how he would spend the impending non work-related, and unhurried few days with his very attractive partner. She may have won the bet, but he was hoping to win the battle. After so many years of feeling like a failure, Scully had made him feel worthy of love. She accepted him the way he was, with all of his ideologies, quests, faults and less than attractive secrets seemingly not the drawback he had always believed them to be. He looked at her sometimes when she wasn't paying attention. Would she love him? Could she love him despite how scarred and battered emotionally he was? Could she be the one he could possibly share the love he'd tried before to find? He knew he cared for her, maybe even loved her. He wasn't sure, but it was as close as he had come to love since...... He stopped that thought. Could he commit to a loving relationship that Scully so richly deserved? He'd been contemplating this ever since they almost kissed in the hallway of his apartment building. It was an almost kiss preceded by words he'd never thought he'd say to her. A panicked confession to make her understand that she wasn't a hindrance to his work, but his savior. "You keep me honest. You've make me whole." Why did she feel she wasn't his equal in the partnership? He would have never guessed Dana Scully would have doubts concerning involvement in their work. With him he could understand, but not their work or her importance to it. His thoughts were torn away from Scully as Skinner's voice suddenly replaced the elevator music in his ear. Scully hadn't looked up when he answered the call. It had taken all of her diligence just to focus on the paperwork from the case they had just closed. Unwilling to be distracted by anything other than a major catastrophe, she continued to type. Her mind replaying the weatherman's promise of a warm spring weekend surrounded by blue skies. After a long drab winter it was just what the doctor ordered, and she herself had seen to it that the prescription would be filled, via a bet that she had made with her partner on their last case. It was Friday afternoon, and barring a call from Skinner with another case, she and Mulder had a free weekend a head of them, and they were planning on spending it together, outside. The bet had been a compromise between the agents over the validity of the case they'd just completed. From the outset Scully had tried to convince Mulder that the mysterious disappearances of some local high school kids was a hoax. But a sudden renewed belief in extra terrestrial existence had mysteriously gripped her partner a few weeks before, and his "theory" was that the kids had been abducted. Scully smiled as she remembered the wager.... "Mulder the validity of this case is unsubstantiated. I can't believe you're wasting taxpayers money chasing after a bunch of kids that are probably playing a joke on their parents." Scully faced off with her partner, her hands placed on her hips in defiance. "Scully, there is no way a group of kids can just vanish without there being paranormal involvement. You saw what a group abduction could be like when you were on the bridge." She could see Mulder wasn't going to let this go. Time to lose the battle, but win the fight. Scully's lips turned up into an evil grin. "Okay Mulder, care to make a wager?" Scully raised her eyebrow, and her partner grinned. "What type of wager do you want to make? And, what do I get if I'm right?" There was a leer in her partner's voice. She swallowed before continuing, "If I win the bet, we take a weekend off, no work, no little green men, just fun, sun, and the great outdoors. And I choose the activity." She looked at him seriously. "We need a break Mulder." "Eww Scully, if you wanted my body outside, all you had to do was ask." Scully felt herself blush. "If you win...... well Mulder, that's up to you." She had Mulder's attention as she spoke the words in a low semi-sultry voice. Two could play at this game. She watched as he gaped at her. Recovering quickly, he started to speak, then decided he would think of a suitable wager first. Scully could see the Mulder's mind moving quickly, so she added. "But Mulder, you're not going to win, so I wouldn't spend a lot of time trying To think of a suitable punishment." She turned and walked toward the car leaving Mulder where he stood, with a smile on his face. He realized he would win either way, but proving her wrong would be a bonus. As it turned out, the disappearances were in fact due to spring break in Newport News Beach, and a bunch of teenagers bent on escaping the watchful eyes of their parents by faking their disappearance. They had found several of the teenagers in a motel room drinking beer and having a great time. But the good time had ended when the half the local police force surrounded the hotel, breaking down their door. The bill for damages to the hotel, and the wrath of their parents had produced several sullen teenagers and one pouting FBI agent. It had been impossible for Scully to hide her amusement, as she and Mulder stood in the doorway gazing at a group of half drunk, and half dressed adolescents. The partier's misfortune had led to Scull's winning of the bet, so somewhat grudgingly her partner had agreed to put aside all research, and join her for a day at the park. He'd bemoaned how busy he was at first, but ultimately, and to Scully's momentary delight, he'd agreed that it would do him well to get out of his dingy apartment for a couple of days. After all that had happened recently, her brush with cancer, the scare on the bridge, and then their most recent almost career ending -- scratch that -- life ending trip into conspiracies and chasing little green men, she'd decided it was time to truly get a life. To Scully that meant spending more time away from the office spent preferably with her partner, but the hectic schedule they kept had prevented it most weekends. This weekend, they didn't have a case and the time was right, so she was cashing in on her bet, and looking forward to having all of Mulder's attention for at least two days, and to his merit he had whined only minimally when she called in her dues and she announced the plan. "I'll be right there," Mulder dropped the phone in the cradle and sighed. "Skinner wants to see me, but it shouldn't take long." He had made a show of complaining when Scully had announced her plans for their outdoor weekend, but truth be told, he wanted to go. He was actually looking forward to spending the time with his partner, especially after the latest scare. He stared at her face for a moment. All the burst capillaries seemed to have healed, and other that some unseen but surely existent emotional scarring, one would never know to look at her that she'd almost died. He'd almost died too but without her his own survival had meant nothing anyway. He had tried to put the sheer horror of almost losing her three times in so few months, out of his head, but the pain and emptiness he'd felt still haunted him. This weekend would be therapeutic. Grabbing his coat, he headed for the door. Scully didn't look up as he walked out the door, but mumbled. "Mulder you didn't deliberately do something to aggravate Skinner did you? You're not getting out of our outing tomorrow." She heard him chuckle as the door closed. xxxxxxxxx "You wanted to see me Sir?" Mulder sat in his usual spot in front of the Assistant Director's desk, "If it's about the last case, I can explain..........." Skinner interrupted his defense of the missing teenager case, which he didn't want to discuss just yet. "Mulder, I've been given a case, it's not an x-file, but I wanted you to have a look at it anyway." He handed the file to Mulder and waited for him to read the words on the paper. Skinner knew Mulder would be disturbed by the information. He noticed Mulder's face tighten into a frown as he read. When Mulder finished, he looked up. "Mulder, I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you're feeling. If you don't want to handle the case, I understand. I already have an agent on it at our Boston Affiliate. It's their jurisdiction, and they should be receiving a copy of the case file from 7 years ago as soon as we locate it. It's in good hands Mulder." He cleared his throat. "I'm offering it to you as a professional courtesy. It's not an assignment unless you want it to be. And personally I don't recommend you taking it." Skinner waited for a response. "When did it happen?" His voice was quiet. "Yesterday." Skinner noticed the familiar pain of long ago return to his features. It wasn't the same pain he'd seen so many times in Mulder's life. This pain had the strained vestiges of something deeply buried and bone cuttingly deep. It had once consumed him, and he had barely managed to resurface, since then he had allowed no one to even speak of it. His denial was so complete that he had gone so far as having his records at the bureau changed to erase any reference to this particular part of his past. Mulder cleared his throat, as his eyes dropped to the floor. "Sir, have you mentioned this to anyone else?" His head lifted and he looked at Skinner with sorrowful dark eyes. "No Mulder." He shifted in his chair and leaned his elbows on his desk. "I respect your privacy in the matter, that's why I called you in here first and without Agent Scully." Skinner hesitated. "If there's......." Mulder stood suddenly, his attention still focused on the floor as he made his way to the door. "Thanks, but I'll handle this myself. I don't want Scully involved in this. This guy made it personal the last time because I was getting too close to catching him. This time there's nothing left that he can use to control me." He reached for the door. "You haven't told her about it have you?" Skinner stated more than asked. Mulder's posture stiffened, and then he sighed heavily. "No. It doesn't concern her. We all thought he was dead when the murders stopped, so I hoped that it would never come up again." He turned the door knob, then stopped. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't discuss this anyone, especially Scully. I don't want her involved" Mulder's voice was just above a whisper, the resurfacing pain evident. "Very well Agent Mulder." Skinner would abide by his wishes. Mulder opened the door and then left the office without a sound. XXXXXXXXXX Scully looked at her watch it had been an hour since Mulder left for Skinner's office. She was through with her paperwork anxiously waiting for the clock to run out on her work day and for the weekend to begin. Picking up the phone, she dialed Skinner's secretary. "Debra, hello. Is Agent Mulder still with the Assistant Director?" She frowned at the response. "About an hour ago? Are you sure? No...... No, that's okay. Thanks." Scully's intuition told her something was definitely wrong. She moved quickly from her chair to the door, she wanted to talk to the AD and find out what happened to Mulder. XXXXXXXXX Scully knocked on the door, and waited impatiently for a reply. Inside Skinner sighed, already knowing it was Scully. He hated being put in the middle. He had to keep his promise to Mulder, yet it made him uncomfortable to do so in the face of Scully's inevitable concern. Standing, he reluctantly moved to the door and opened it. On the other side he found a woman whose face looked much like he had expected it would. Both agitated and worried, Dana Scully was clearly not a happy camper. And Unfortunately what he had to tell her would wouldn't come anywhere close to improving that. "Can I help you Agent Scully?" He allowed her in the office and closed the door. "Sir, what happened with Agent Mulder?" She searched his eyes for truth, but he avoided her gaze and moved towards his desk. After taking a moment to gaze out the out the window and gather the appropriate words, he turned to face her. "Agent Mulder is being sent out to work independently on a case." He leaned up against the window sill. "Other than that, you'll have to ask him." He didn't know how Scully would react to the buried information. "Independently? Sir?" She started to question him. "It was his choice Agent Scully, I can't tell you anymore." Scully nodded absently, she knew she'd been dismissed, and slowly she turned toward the door. "Agent Scully, be careful with Mulder on this one." Skinner wanted badly to tell her. If anyone could keep Mulder from reliving the hell he'd been through before, it was his partner. He knew how Mulder felt about Scully. He also knew Scully had pulled Mulder out of plummeting spiral downward when she joined him on the x-files. Scully opened her mouth, then decided it was a waste of time asking any more questions. She opened the door, slipped out and closed it gently. Making her way down to the basement, she noticed the door ajar. When she entered, Mulder wasn't anywhere in the office, and his coat, briefcase and computer were gone. Had he been waiting for her to leave to retrieve his things? Was he purposely avoiding her? She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and hit the speed dial. It rang several times. At the announcement that the person had turned off the phone or was out of the area, Scully slammed the phone shut, and mumbled a slight curse. "Dammit Mulder, what now?" Scully spoke to the empty room and slumped down into her chair to think. She knew this Mulder, and dammit to hell, it made her want to throttle him. She'd thought they'd gotten past the mistrust, the ditching and the hiding things from one another. Hadn't they? Couldn't they? She'd hoped they had come to a point where they could move into a closer personal relationship. Not immediately jump into bed, but relate to each other in a more personal way. Her thoughts drifted to his hallway only weeks ago when he'd touched her, caressed her in such a way that it almost made her heart stop. They had been pulled from the inevitability of a kiss, by sheer circumstance. She shook her head distracting her from that thought. All that meant little now, she'd been ditched again by the look of it. Turning back to her computer, Scully punched a key to bring her screen back to life, as it flickered back on she noticed a message from Mulder. Scully, Please understand. I can't ask you to come with me on this case. It's something I have to face alone. I will try and explain when I return. Please don't worry. Mulder P.S. Sorry about this weekend, you can cash in the bet some other time. An anger accompanied by fear was boiling its way through her. "Damn Damn Damn, not this time Mulder." She grabbed her belongings and headed for the door. XXXXXXXXXXX Scully stood in front of his door trying to remain calm, she'd talked to herself while driving to his apartment. She would calmly discuss this with him. No, raised voices, no angry words, after all, Skinner had said to be careful with him, so she would calm her Irish temper and put on her most professional face. She had raised her hand to knock, when the door suddenly opened. She locked eyes with Mulder. He was clad in jeans and gray T-shirt and had his garment bag slung over his shoulder. "Going somewhere Mulder?" Her words were carefully spoken. He sighed knowing there would be a confrontation. "Scully, I told you I had to do this one on my own." He'd hoped to get out of town before she had a chance to begin the Agent Scully, G-woman routine. He knew she wouldn't leave it alone, but hoped to avoid the entanglement of harsh words, and evasive answers. "Mulder, where are you going?" It was a simple calm question. She felt proud of herself for remaining so composed. "Scully, this case.. it's a personal matter too. I have to attend to it. I won't tell you anymore than that. Just leave it alone, and I'll explain when I get back." Mulder's voice exuding a silent warning behind his words. She looked down the hall gathering her thoughts, then she looked back into his cool hazel eyes. It was almost like he had detached himself from her. The connection seemed broken, there was no warmth in his eyes or his posture, and Scully was taken aback by his coolness, but wouldn't show it. "Mulder what is so important that you would ditch me again. I thought......." She looked away taking a deep breath and letting it go, surprised that she was managing to hold on to her already wobbly self control. She hated feeling like a spurned female, and at the moment she had to admit, that she did. "You thought what Scully? That because we're partners and friends we're joined at the hip?? That because our lives are so integrated I would confess all my deepest secrets to you?" He almost chuckled at the absurdity. "I told you along time ago, you don't know me as well as you think you do. I can't.. "He shook his head. "No, I won't tell you what this is about. Now if you will excuse me, I have a plane to catch." He closed the door to his apartment and left her standing in the hallway, stunned. Mulder hated himself for saying what he had to her, but this part of his life was something he simply couldn't share with her. It didn't concern her, it was too painful and too terrifying all at once . He would set things right when he returned. Maybe he would be able to talk about it then. This was an old ghost, surrounded by old hurts that had been long buried, like a demon needing to be exorcised from his soul. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had. It was for her own good that he was so cool to her and so aloof. "I'm sorry Scully." He whispered as the elevator doors closed and he caught sight of her still standing where he'd left her. He could tell by her bowed head she was hurt deeply by his words. Scully heard the doors close to the elevator, and let out a shaky breath. She didn't know until this moment he could or would hurt her in such a way. He had pierced her heart with his cool, hurtful words. Had she been reading him all wrong? Did he care so little for her after all the years that they had shared? After all of the times they had put their lives on the line for each other? Did she mean so little to him, that he could cast her aside like yesterday's news for some unknown quest? Is this what Fox Mulder considered a partnership, whether it be friendship, or.... She almost couldn't bear to think of the rest of the thought. Or what she'd hoped would be more than a platonic relationship? Had she been that big of a fool to think she could break through the part of him held so close and guarded? Tears threatened her eyes. She took in a deep breath, attempting to shutdown the emotion. No, she wouldn't allow a tear for Mulder. She would abide by his wishes, and stay out of his way, but when he returned, she would finally have to decide if it was worth her time and future to continue chasing after his adventures. He had told her once the truth and Samantha was all that mattered to him. Why hadn't she believed him? What kind of a fool was she to think she could have any part of his soul, like he had captured her heart, soul and mind? Slowly she turned on shaky legs and made her way out of the building. Not paying much attention to her surroundings, on autopilot, Scully got into her car and drove home. Arriving at her door, she put the key in the lock and found sanctuary in her own apartment. When the door closed and the locks thrown, she allowed her self to slowly sink to the floor as the tears flowed. Uncontrollable tears held in so long. She felt alone at that moment, terrified that the future would only hold the sadness and loneliness of coming home, case after case, to a lonely existence. Scully looked around her spotless apartment, was this all her life would hold? She was barren, and alone, so alone that it hurt. She felt her heart break. Damn her for fooling herself. Damn him for making her believe she meant anything more to him than a partner, a friend, someone he was loosely dependent on when he needed it. Wiping her eyes, she stood and moved to the table for a tissue. Her eyes were reddened and swollen from her tears. Wiping the remaining wetness away, she caught sight of herself in the mirror on the wall gasping at the sight. God, she looked broken. Broken? A Scully? Dana hated herself at that moment. Her father taught her to regard herself with more respect than to allow someone to break her spirit. She scrutinized her face closely. Tiny lines were forming from too much sadness and too little joy. She had to change her life before it consumed her and she was forever lost in an oblivion of turmoil and pain. Something she'd promised herself after the cancer went into remission she would change. But she hadn't, just fell back into the routine of following Mulder on his cases, hoping for the day when she could begin a better life. "Dana, there's got to be more to life than this." Scully spoke to herself as if she was a friend voicing concern, stepping back she gathered her thoughts. Speaking slowly and confidently, Scully straightened her posture. "You are an attractive woman. You're intelligent. Why do you choose to live life in the shadows Dana Katherine?" She paused. "Because you can hide your emotions in the shadows and therefore hide from doubts, fear and the possibility of rejection." Dana sighed, narrowing her eyes she asked herself a question. "And what has lurking in shadows accomplished in your life? Successful career, nonexistent life." Blinking at her image a couple of times as if she was waiting for an answer from the mirrored Dana. She smiled. "Dana, things have got to change, if not with Mulder, then there are other fish in the sea. So to speak." She smiled to herself in spite of her mood. Newly determined she headed for the bathroom and a good long soak, she would wash away the dread she felt and begin anew tomorrow. Neither Fox Mulder, nor any other man would break her. Gaining a tight grasp of her emotions, she girded her feelings and walked slowly toward the bathroom. Fox Mulder be damned, if that's they way he wants it, so be it. She lifted her head and held it high. She was a professional and a very strong willed and minded woman. She would survive, at least that's what she kept telling herself. XXXXXXXXXX Fox Mulder restlessly sat in his aisle seat on the Delta flight from DC to Boston. He had been replaying the last conversation he'd had with his partner over and over again. 'Why had he treated Scully so badly? Hadn't he been contemplating love earlier in the day? With one phone call, bam, all thoughts of a relationship put on hold.' He sighed wearily. He'd been looking forward the weekend, and knew Scully had felt the same. 'Damn, why did this have to happen now? Couldn't this have stayed buried for all eternity like he'd buried it in his heart? Over the years it had been covered by many layers of scarring, so now all that was left was a dull long ignored ache. What would he find when he arrived in Martha's Vineyard? How would he face her again?' He'd carried around a silent vigil of her memory as punishment for his failure. It kept him from allowing anyone to touch that part of his life again. Not even Scully was privy to this dark piece of himself. Maybe he could put to rest the past during this case. Hopefully the connection with Haley had been severed and he would feel nothing more than sorrow for her misfortune. Mulder bent over and pulled out the case file supplied by Skinner. As he opened it, the picture of Jeannine filled his sight. He felt his heart clinch at the similarity to Haley. They could have been identical twins. The same thick brown hair falling to the shoulder, soft brown eyes able to melt any man's heart, Mulder realized the hurt hadn't faded as much as he'd hoped. Breathing became labored until he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. He hated dredging up old hurtful memories, but they came involuntarily. XXXXXXXXXX May 1986 Fox Mulder, Ph.D. of Oxford University, exited the plane wearily. He'd been flying nine long hours, and was more than a little jet lagged. He'd managed to finish his final semester with the usual honors, and had completed his thesis, dissertation, graduation, and packing, all in the matter of a few months. Now he was leaving behind all he'd known for so long to return home to the states and begin his new life as an FBI Agent. There were friends he'd made back at Oxford that he truly would miss, and then there was one that he certainly wouldn't. Phoebe had been the love of his life over the last few years, but ultimately she had turned out to be the most hurtful, damaging thing to hit him since the loss of his sister at the age of twelve. He'd been a toy in her eyes, and she'd amused herself by manipulating him at every possible turn. Her mind games, and claims of undying devotion had thoroughly blinded him to her open betrayals and lies. And now, after all the dust had settled, she'd decided that they should just be friends. She hadn't had even had the consideration to seen him off at the airport. Walking down the exiting platform he grimaced. He would go home now and face his fragile mother, and cold hearted father for a little welcomed reunion. His heart was heavy and lonely. His only hope for some semblance of a happy normal future was the job that was waiting for him in Washington DC. There he would prove himself. He would work tirelessly to prove to his superiors that was deserving. Fox caught sight of his mother as he walked out of the entrance of the gate. He smiled as she waved at him. His father was no where in sight. He knew he was kidding himself at the thought that his father would even bother to make an appearance. He shoved his disappointment away and walked to his mother. "Fox, oh Fox, I'm so glad to see you." She hugged her son feeling tears form in her eyes. She had missed him, and was so proud to be the mother of an Oxford graduate. Tina Mulder pulled back and looked at her tired son. "Fox, do you feel all right? You look awfully pale, dear." She noticed him look at the floor almost embarrassed. Had she become such a stranger to her own son that he felt embarrassed in front of her? She studied his pale features and hallowed look. Tina decided she would try and bring happiness into her son's life if only for a small amount of time. He would be leaving for Washington DC soon, so she had to work fast. "I'm fine Mom.... Just tired, it was a long flight." He spoke quietly to the floor. He didn't feel he could share with her the sadness he felt in his heart. She was practically a stranger to him. Plus she was so mentally frail, that he didn't want to burden her with his heartache. "Fine, let's go home and you can rest up." She let him go and hooked her arm through his as they walked down the hallway to the terminal. "We're having a dinner party in a couple of days Fox. My friends and yours are so excited that you're back." She hoped this would bring a smile to his plaintive face. She didn't see as he rolled his eyes nor did she hear his internal sigh. The last thing he wanted was to be exposed to any of his mother's plastic, high society, friends. But he would do this for her. "That's great Mom. Thanks." He tried to sound cheerful, but it took all his remaining strength to do so. XXXXXXXXXX June 1998 Mulder was brought out of his reverie by a woman seated next to him wanting access to the aisle. He stood allowing her to exit their row. Settling back into his seat, his eyes fell on the autopsy report for Jeannine Rehill, Haley's sister. Mulder hadn't thought of her in years, she hadn't been supportive of their marriage at all, and after the assault, Jeannine had been the first to encourage Haley to move back to Martha's Vineyard. It had been several years since the marriage had dissolved, and he still felt anger toward her. She had had a heavy hand in ripping his world apart . Haley had left him. He'd been abandoned. And the feeling that it had brought with it was one he'd experienced many times in his life....... too many times. His thoughts turned to Scully and guilt shifted through him as the harsh words he'd spoken to her resurfaced. As much as he admired her tenacity, he hated the way she could get under his skin with few words. Then there was that look she had given him in the hallway, it had told him with absolutely no use of words, exactly what she was thinking. She thought he'd ditched her again, and technically he had. Instead of facing her, he had run. It had been almost instinctive. Why couldn't he trust her with this part of his life? Didn't the word partner mean shared information? Though it was very personal, hadn't she proved her acceptance? He had to put it right for now. Even if it was only a temporary quick fix, he had to make amends. Mulder looked at the phone connected to the seat in front of him, and Pulling it out of its cradle, he fished out his credit card, slid it through the magnetic detector and punched in her number. 'What would he say? Would she hang-up on him?' His muscles tensed in anticipation of the anger he knew she would inflict on him. Slowly he let out a relieved breath when the answering machine picked up. It would be easier to talk to the machine at the moment . It was considerably less accusing. After listening to her greeting he cleared his throat and began his vague apology. "Scully......." He paused for a moment. "I want to apologize for what I said when we spoke at my apartment. I wish there was a simple explanation for my actions, but I can't come up with one worth reciting. I'll call you if I need your help. Maybe by then, I'll be able to explain everything to you." He waited another moment not knowing what else to say. "I'll talk to you later." Mulder punched the disconnect button on the receiver and placed it back in it's cradle, feeling no less unburdened by having stated his apology. He needed to say it to her face. On the other end of the phone call Scully sat staring stone faced at the phone. Her recent vows crumbling as he broke through her firmly rooted anger with just a few words of apology? She wanted to be angry. She needed to. His words had hurt her badly. Scully felt ditched..... Or was that the right word? Her brow furrowed again in thought. No... She felt abandoned by her partner, and friend. A friend she had, at one time, hoped for a more personal relationship with. Skinner's advice played, with clarity, in her head. "Be careful with Mulder....." Dana blinked dry her moist eyelashes from the emotions she couldn't seem to control. Then she pulled a tissue out of the box on the end table and wiped her nose. Standing, she moved to the answering machine and punched the rewind button. Mulder's voice filled the apartment as it had minutes before. Listening again to his apology, she searched his tone for answers. Did he feel remorse? Or was he trying to soothe his on guilty conscience? Now she wished she'd picked up the phone. She would have liked to talk to him, to hear his explanation, and to hear his living, breathing voice - not some machine. But she couldn't even return his call since she had no idea where he was going or why. She thought for a moment . She could call the airlines, and use her credentials to obtain the information she sought. Or she could wait, as usual, like a good girl, for him to call. Looking at the phone, she sighed. He didn't want her involved. He'd made that very clear. Her following him now would seem too much like a simple puppy trailing along behind its master. A thought that made her ill. Was she that far gone? Had she sunk to such a level that she would willingly humble herself to the whims of a man who obviously cared little enough about her that he would ditch her at times without a second thought? She'd let it go for now. There was plenty of work to do in the path lab she's throw in some time there and wait... Suddenly, Scully felt hunger pains and realized she hadn't eaten since morning. Moving toward the kitchen, she tried to think of anything appealing to her palate. Feeling her spirits buoyed a bit by his feeble attempt at a vague apology, and her own attempt at autonomy, Scully opened her refrigerator, and then closed it again quickly.. Nothing in it appealed to her, and she wasn't in the mood to cook. The thought of visiting her mother crossed her mind. Maybe she would take her day tomorrow and spend some time at the house. She could forget Mulder, and his precious case that he didn't need her help with. She wasn't going to sit around waiting for his next call. Picking up the phone she dialed the familiar number. "Hi Mom......." XXXXXX Mulder felt relieved that he'd apologized to Scully. Now he could concentrate on the case and possibly think of a way to explain about Haley later. Under any other circumstances he wouldn't have hesitated to include Scully. He trusted, respected and needed her input. But this case was different not, only did it involve something so painfully personal, it would also very likely put her at risk. Picking up a magazine he'd grabbed at the newsstand, he opened it to the Magic Johnson article that had interested him. Relaxing back into the chair he had made it through only a few lines, before his mind wondered back to a more blissful time. XXXXXXXXXX June 1986 Fox straightened his tie in the mirror, wishing for the tenth time he didn't have to attend another of his mother's boring dinner parties. Even though it was in his honor, he felt very much like an outsider after having been gone from home for so long. He never had fit in with his mother 's aristocratic crowd. They'd always seemed so false to him. His father too had always detested the gatherings, and had stated quite openly a number of times that he considered most of her friends to be intellectual bores. He had only put up with them to placate his wife from time to time, and it was on these occasions that Fox too had been made to attend.. Mulder groaned as he heard the doorbell sound. "Fox, can you get the door, I'm not finished dressing yet." His mother yelled from her room. "Okay Mom." He answered with a sigh. "Let's get this show on the road and hopefully get it over with as soon as possible." Fox resigned himself to spending a stuffy evening with a group of tedious people, who would be forced to listen to his mother brag about his achievements at Oxford. All this and a free meal too, weren't they lucky. Not that he wasn't proud. He was. He'd worked and had achieved very high marks, but the sadness he felt over shadowed the joy. He would be celebrating without Samantha, or Phoebe and despite the room full of people he felt very much alone. Shaking his head, he left the sorrowful image at the mirror and vowed to give his mother a good show for her friends. He descended the stairs and went to greet the waiting guest on the other side of the door. Fox opened the door and was immediately drawn into the embrace of a woman he'd known for years. "Fox, you look handsome." It was his mother's best friend Rosa. " Welcome home." She pulled back from the embrace. "Thank you Mrs. Trabert, it's good to see you again." "Where's Tina?" She moved past him looking for his mother. "She's still upstairs." Rosa nodded her head. Fox turned around too see another couple standing at the door. Fox welcomed them as well. And with that begun a steady stream of handshakes and congratulations as people continued to flow through the door. Once the last pat on the back had been received he turned to close the door only to be greeted a beautiful set of brown eyes gazing at him. Fox swallowed trying hard to find his voice. She warmest eyes he'd ever beheld and he knew almost immediately that it would be very easy to get lost in their depths. "Fox, don't you remember me?" The voice was velvet to match her eyes. He took in her whole face again calling upon his photographic memory for assistance. The recognition startled him. "Haley? Haley Margaret Rehill?" He opened his arms and embraced her. Breathing deeply he knew she would smell as heavenly as her face. "It's nice to see you again Fox. How long has it been since you been on the island?" He ushered her in as she asked the question. "I've been at Oxford for eight years. I didn't take vacations so I'd finish on time." He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't been back for a while." His spirits brightened at the welcomed addition to the party. Maybe it wouldn't be so boring after all. XXXXXXXXX After dinner, Fox decided to take a walk on the beach to escape his mother's friends. Although he appreciated her thoughtfulness, he felt as if he was on display. He smiled almost able to hear the side show barker "Come one, come all. This may be your only chance to see Martha Vineyard's newest Oxford graduate......." "Something funny Fox?" His head snapped up hearing the soft voice. He smiled and his heart stirred as he gazed into the beautiful brown eyes of Haley Rehill. "Uhmm, nothing, I feel like a freak in a sideshow." Her smiled warmed his heart. "I was about to take a walk on the beach..... care to join me?" Fox hoped his voice hid the fear he felt at the moment. "I'd love to." Haley's voice was smooth as silk. They walked outside into the cool ocean breeze, stopping to remove their footwear. As they continued, Fox began with small talk - family, how the island hadn't changed much since he left. He asked where she'd attended college, etc. He danced around the question he most wanted to ask. *Was she seeing anyone?* Since he had to spend a couple of weeks here, she would be a good distraction. "I only recently returned from college. I managed a master's in psychology and then trained for teaching. I missed the island so much, I couldn't wait to return." Haley breathed in the salt air. "I don't ever want to leave again." "Why, what's so fascinating about this island?" Mulder couldn't understand wanting to stay here, he had dreading his return. "My family is here. I feel safe here. I'm a hometown girl." She looked down at her hands as they walked. "I guess that seems silly to you." Her voice was low , yet Mulder still managed to pick up a hint of embarrassment. She was so unlike Phoebe. She was innocent almost childlike in her demeanor. "No, I just don't have happy memories to tie me here. I like adventure, that's why I joined the FBI." Fox's voice lifted mentioning his new job. They walked along for a few more minutes discussing his new position in the violent crimes unit. He told her about his training at Quantico which was to begin in a couple of weeks. The breeze had picked up from a storm off the coast and Haley shivered. "Cold?" Fox asked. "A little." Haley looked back to the brightly-lit Mulder house a few hundred yards away. "It's getting late, I have to go over my plans for class on Monday. I think we should go back." Fox nodded and put his hand in the center of her lower back as to guide her up the small incline to the house. Haley felt comfort from his touch. She had forgotten how charming Fox Mulder had been during their adolescence. Opening the sliding glass door, after retrieving their shoes, Mulder bent over and quietly murmured in her ear. "Would you have dinner with me tomorrow evening?" He saw a flush of pink in her face as she felt his breath near her ear and his quiet words. She smiled as he drew away. "I'd love to, call me tomorrow." She looked into his soft hazel eyes. Eyes that showed his soul had been bent, but not broken. Her stare was one of inquisitiveness. She was trying to read him. She was trying to see what was going on inside Fox Mulder, and he very much wondered what she would see. Would it scare her to know all the sadness and heartbreak he had faced in his young life? Their connection was broken by Haley's father's voice. "Yes daddy, I'm ready." She turned back to Fox. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." For two weeks they ate together, talked about everything they had done for the past eight years. They were almost inseparable. He spent time with her family, which was by definition what he thought a real family should be. He admired their dedication towards one another and felt very much accepted and apart of them when during their conversations, meals and activities. Fox knew his time was limited, but he hadn't thought it would be so hard to leave. Then the day had come, the next day he would be checking into Quantico for training. Tears formed in Haley's eyes as they stood at the boarding gate. Mrs. Mulder had claimed that she didn't feel strong enough for another farewell with her only child, so she'd asked Haley to drop him off instead. Mulder knew that part of this was true but he also had an inkling that she was encouraging the relationship between he and Haley. Haley was so much like the type of woman his mother would want him to marry. "I'll call you when I'm settled in." He pulled her close and breathed in her fragrance so he could remember it during their separation. He couldn't believe he had found someone that could ease the pain Phoebe caused. She healed the open wound in his heart with her kindness, compassion, and sincerity. Despite the how much he was looking forward to getting a new start on his future, Fox wished they'd had a little more time. But he would come back soon, promises had been made. Pulling back he lifted her chin for one last kiss as the loud speaker announced the final call for his departure. It warmed and broke his heart at the same time seeing tears escaping her eyes rolling down her cheeks. No one had every cried for him like that. It was such a simple emotion but it made him feel like he'd found a home. "I'm going to miss you Fox." Her voice cracked and he covered her mouth with his to kiss the tears away. Then he let her go, and walked slowly to the doorway that would take him from her. Fox looked back as he reached he door and waved a sad farewell. Haley dabbed her eyes and smiled bravely. June 1998 The loud speaker announced the decent to Logan airport where he'd take a commuter to the island. He could still picture Haley standing there waving at him like it was yesterday and not a decade ago. A sudden ache in his chest at seeing her again brought back the pain of their separation. XXXXXXXXXX July 1986 "Hello?" Her voice sounded like an angel. "How are you tonight Haley?" Fox smiled. He felt warm just talking to her on the phone. "Oh Fox, I miss you." She sounded like a lost little girl. He smiled. "Why don't you come to see me then? I believe I can make it worth your while." A slight leer was evident in his voice. "Fox....... You know I can't leave right now. We're in the middle of summer school exams." Fox couldn't believe kids in Martha's Vineyard had to attend summer school. The residents of the small island were suppose to be the cream of the crop. Sighing, he turned over on his back in the bed closing his eyes as her words danced in his head. He was in love. They had been carrying on a love affair over the phone for a month now, and he was becoming impatient being away from her. He barely concentrated on his classes trying to blot out her silky voice and visions of her beautiful face. The brief but wonderful times they had stolen consummating their passion caused him distraction more than once. "I can't get away either. My classes at Quantico are consuming every waking moment. But I'll be finished with them by the end of August. Think you could fly down for my graduation?" He waited. Fox had planned on her coming so he could try to talk her into staying permanently. "Of course I'll be there, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Will your Mother be coming too?" Haley didn't like traveling alone. She would even welcome his elusive mother as company. "I doubt it, but I'll meet you at the airport." Fox reassured her. And so the day came. He rushed into the airport clutching flowers in one hand and feeling for the small box in his pocket. He hoped he wouldn't fall on his knees in front of everyone and beg her never to leave him again. Fox wanted his proposal to be unique and special. Nothing was too good for the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. XXXXXXXXXX May 1998 Mulder felt the plane hit the pavement with a jolt bringing him out of his thoughts. "The rest of my life. Didn't last too long did it?" He murmured to himself as he closed the sadly ignored magazine and put it into his briefcase. Slipping off the seat belt he readied himself for exiting the plane, at the same time girding himself for a meeting with his past. Maybe he would call Scully and see if she'd forgiven him. He paused with that thought. Maybe not, it was going to be difficult enough dragging up the demons he'd buried so deeply without dragging her through it with him., although he knew she'd go through it willingly. Haley and Scully were on opposite ends of the scale. Haley would have folded under the pressures Scully had endured all these years with the X-Files. Scully was his touchstone. Her spirit was as hard as a stone, a ready compliment to a heart as pure as gold. In many cases she was his stability, a bright light leading him home through his own darkness. She'd saved his life more times that he could count. She'd followed him into dangerous situations both personal and professionally. Many times she'd risked not only her life but also her career. Could he have found anyone so faithful to him anywhere else on earth? He didn't believe he could. Scully.... Thinking her name made him think of the their ruined weekend and what might have evolved between them. Would it have possibly been the beginning of a closer relationship? Would it have been an open opportunity to explore the feelings he knew he had developed for her? And find out once and for all if she felt the same way? Looking back he wondered when he'd first begun to trust her? Was it the first time she'd lied to cover his ass? Or was it listening to him that stormy night on their first case? He knew he relied on her strength. Did he equate that with love? Was he drawn to her just for that strength? Mulder felt a sudden urge to call her. Dropping his bag onto the ground he reached for his cell phone and dialed her number. The crush of commuters and expectant loved ones moved around him as the phone rang several times. Once it hit the fourth ring her answering machine picked up, and Scully's cool professional voice announced her absence. He waited for the beep. "Hi Scully, I just wanted to let you to know I've arrived .. Ummm.. safely." He went on, uncertain as to whether he should tell her where he was. But she deserved at least that from him. "I'll uh.. I'll be staying at my father's house in West Tisbury. I um... I'm sorry, but this is a case I have to handle on my own. I hope you understand. Okay??" He wanted to say something personal, but it sounded trite for some reason over the phone so he pushed the end button and picked up his bag. Why was it so hard to express his affection for her? Did he feel he might disappoint her as he had his father, mother, former wife? He paused to ponder the thought. What did keep him from believing he could succeed in a relationship with his partner? Fear of failure had paralyzed him throughout his life. Was it fear that paralyzed his feelings now? XXXXXXXXXXX Dana and her mother ate at the kitchen table. She'd brought a favorite pasta dish at a local Italian restaurant on her way over. A visit to mom's on Saturday had turned into an invitation to come over and spend the weekend so Dana had packed and headed over to her mother's with a late evening dinner. They talked about family, the weather, her mother's social activities. Small talk to give Dana time to gather her courage to discuss the real reason she came to visit her mother. Her mother allowed her time. She knew something was troubling her daughter. And if she was as perceptive as she'd believed, it was something to do with a certain partner. Margaret had learned to be patient over the years with her youngest daughter. She knew Dana wouldn't share until she was ready. "Mom, can I talk to you about something?" Dana didn't know where to start. "You can talk to me about anything, don't you know that Dana? You are my daughter, there's nothing I wouldn't help you with." Margaret reached out her hand and grasped Dana's tightly. Dana looked into her mother's warm, loving eyes and took a deep breath. "It's about....." Dana felt nervous discussing Mulder with her mother. "A certain FBI agent you work with?" Margaret smiled. Dana's eyes widened as the corners of her mother's mouth crept upward into a sly grin. "Is it that obvious?" Dana smiled as she shook her head. "Yes, it's about Mulder." Pulling her hand back, she leaned heavily on the back of her chair. "Mom, we've been through so much in the last few years. We've established a very strong bond." Her mother waited as Dana played with edge of the table where her eyes were locked. "This weekend, he.... we were supposed to spend a few days together." Looking up from the table, Dana was encouraged by the patient look on her mother's face. "Late this afternoon, he received a call from Skinner. After an hour, I found out he'd left the AD's office not long after he'd arrived. I asked Skinner what was wrong and he told me he couldn't discuss the case with me. Then he told me to be careful with Mulder on this case." Sighing heavily and looking back at the table, Dana continued. "I came back to the office to find his computer, coat, everything gone. It made me angry that he would slip into the office and leave like a thief. I found a note on my computer explaining he had to take care of this on his own and not to worry." She looked back at her mother. "You couldn't allow it to drop could you?" Scully's mother rose from her chair and turned toward the coffee pot. "No, I thought we'd gotten past that. I thought." She paused, Margaret turned around with her cup of coffee and sat back down. "I believed we were going to take our partnership to a new level of commitment." Dana's voice was soft and trailed off at the end of her statement. A dead silence fell over the kitchen for a few minutes. "So, since he didn't ask you to help him with this case, you think he's backing away?" Margaret asked as she took a sip of her steaming coffee. "No... Yes, I don't know." Dana tucked her hair behind an ear before beginning again. "It's not that he's backing away, he.... I went to see him, to find out what was such a big secret, why he couldn't just talk to me before he left." "And it wasn't a good discussion." Margaret interjected. "No, he was cold and angry with me, like I was a perfect stranger. It hurt me so deeply I stood there in shock as he walked down the hall and disappeared in the elevator." Dana felt tears forming in her eyes again. "Dana, why didn't you allow Fox his privacy?" Margaret voice was stern. Dana rose walked toward the bay window. "Mom, we're partners. He's done this before and I end up dragging his butt back from the edge or finding him at deaths door in a hospital. It's like it's almost a game, a habit." Dana's voice was rising several octaves. "Dana, sit down." Dana felt like a little girl again as she slid into the chair opposite her mother. "Fox is a complicated man isn't he? Exasperating? Strong-willed?" She paused. "Okay, pigheaded?" Dana nodded with a smile. "But, he is a grown man." She waited for her statement to sink in. "And because you aren't his wife, or his mother, he probably viewed your intrusion as an assault on his independence. I'm sure he would have called you as soon as he was able to talk about the case." She waited for Dana to look at her. "Don't you?" Dana stared at her, fidgeting, knowing her mother was right. "It's not even that. We're partners and he flies off the cuff and gets himself into situations that can get him killed. As part of a team it's my job to cover his back. When he does this it's infuriating, and dangerous, Mom. I thought we'd gotten past this, but I guess not. You should have heard how angry he was..." Margaret interrupted her. "I know how angry a man can be when a woman treads on his territory. Remember, I was married to a Scully." She smiled remembering her stubborn, wonderful husband. Dana thought for a few moments. "I guess you're right. He did call me later and apologize for speaking to me so harshly." Dana smiled slightly remembering his lame apology. "See, if you allow Fox his space, I'm sure he'll explain everything to you. But.... You have to allow him space to feel like he's still in control of his life. Fox isn't a man you can control easily. He's a lot like your father." Margaret waited for Dana to nod. "You only have the right to tread on his life *after* you're a couple, Dana, don't forget that." Dana chuckled. "I'll try." Dana's smile signaled Margaret had succeeded in convincing her daughter, for the moment to allow Fox his privacy. Margaret hoped the wisdom she tried to bestow upon her daughter didn't backfire if something happened to her partner. XXXXXXXXXX Mulder pulled into his father's garage, he hadn't sold the house since his father's death. It didn't seem right, at least not yet. Turning off the car, he opened the door, retrieved his luggage and briefcase then closed it along with the garage door. Slipping in through the side door, Mulder dropped his bags in the front Foyer and moved through the house. Everything remained the same as his father left it. Making his way to the family room he stared at the view for a moment before popping the lock on the sliding door and stepping out onto the back porch. It was a beautiful evening. The fresh smell of salt water drifted all around him as he made his way towards the water. A warm early summer breeze blew through his hair as he walked to the water's edge and looked around. Nothing seemed out of place. Despite the fact that no one had been here for quiet a while, the grounds were well kept. Mulder considered the gardening expense important to preservation of his father's estate. As he strolled onto the dock, his thoughts turned once more to Haley. They had spent the weekend at the house while his father recovered from a bleeding ulcer in the hospital. XXXXXXX September 1986 The couple stood on the dock locked in an embrace. "Fox, we don't have time for this, we have to visit your dad, then go for dinner at my parents' house." Fox busied himself kissing his new wife's neck, trying to dissuade her from venturing away from the house. "Do we have to go? I can think of other things we could......" He rubbed his body against hers as his hands moved over her back and shoulders. "Fox...." Haley smiled as she put her hand in his chest to stop the seduction before it got out of hand. "This is the first time I've seen my family since we eloped. They're angry enough at us for being so impetuous and getting married without Daddy's blessing." Fox sighed as he dropped his hands, knowing he would not dissuade his young wife's focus from that of seeing her beloved family. He knew they would probably never forgive him for stealing her away from them. They had tried to be pleasant over the phone, when they called to announce they had married. Fox could hear by the tone of their well wishes they weren't pleased he had swept Haley off her feet, going against Rehill tradition. He knew he'd let them down already, but promised he would make it up to them by loving Haley. Maybe a couple of grandchildren would persuade them to forgive him. Fox smiled at his wife, bent down to deposit a parting kiss to her lips before guiding them back to his father's house. Fox couldn't keep from smiling at the turn of events since he'd left his sadness in England. Having finished his basic training at Quantico, he'd begun his new position as a profiler in the Violent Crimes Unit, that in it's self was exciting. But meeting and marrying Haley had seemingly made his life complete. He believed he could endure whatever life threw his way as long as her love could bring him back to their world at the end of the day. No, he wouldn't screw this up. If it took his whole life, he'd make up for all the screw-ups and disappointments he'd caused his parents and Samantha. Haley was his saving grace, his salvation from failure. Fox Mulder would not lose this battle. His greatest triumph would be to make his wife truly happy. He'd put aside his selfish ambition. He'd even stopped smoking - a nasty habit he'd taken up in college if she'd ask him to. XXXXXXXX The spell of Mulder's trip down memory lane was rudely interrupted by the buzz of a motor boat leisurely cruising by. He looked up at the strangers as they waved a greeting on their way by. He lifted his hand responding to their wave with one of his own. This was definitely something not experienced in the big city. Watching the boat grow smaller as it continued down the channel, Mulder thought about his bad habits. He gave up smoking, but starting watching porno. One vice exchanged for another. God, what he'd give for one of those cigarettes right now. Facing her again was going to be far worse than any bloodsucking mutant he'd ever encountered. Mulder walked slowly back to the house wishing Scully was with him to be his strength as she had for the past five years. She was the only one who breathed life back into him each time he'd teetered on the edge of the abyss. She'd been his sounding board, sparring partner and backup. Scully was the only one who hadn't abandoned him. Well, not yet. He couldn't blame her if she did this time out, since it would be suitable retribution for his having left her out in the cold yet again. He kicked lightly at a stone. The sad thing was, that there wasn't anyone else who cared enough to keep fishing his butt out of the sea of danger as Scully had time and again. She was the strongest, gentlest, most intelligent, exciting, exasperating woman he'd ever met. She had even been willing to die in scorn of being labeled a murder to save his life. Why then did he leave her behind at what could be the toughest case he'd ever work on, from a personal standpoint? Why was it so hard to tell her about Haley? He'd told her about Samantha on the first case they'd ever worked together. Was he afraid she'd think him a failure too? He'd failed too many times to add humiliation to the situation allowing her to know more of his weaknesses. She was his weakness. He remembered the promises he'd made to himself when her cancer began remission, when they were stuck in the woods without a damn sleeping bag. A cigarette would have been needed if they'd...... If they'd what? Cross the invisible line? He'd done it before with other female agents without the bureau caring. He thought briefly of Diana, a brilliant mind and a sexy body. She had been there when he started the X-files, after Haley had abandoned him. But she abandoned him too, seeking her own recognition in the man's world of the FBI. The other women at work had just been sex out of the need to desperately escape loneliness. What made it so difficult to test the waters, so to speak, with Agent Dana Scully? She was his partner and hadn't left him, even in his darkest times. She was his friend......... 'That's it.' Mulder answered his own question. Scully was his friend from the first day, a true friend. One that had stuck closer to him than even a brother. Because of that, he'd made playful overtures, but had never taken the extra step that would cause him to risk the bond they shared. He'd locked his desires somewhere deep inside of him, and had channeled his needs elsewhere. It was getting dark. Mulder turned to head back to the house, his all consuming thoughts still focussed on Scully. He reached into his jacket for his cell phone when it's sudden shrill ringing brought him back to earth. "Mulder." He hoped it was the object of his thoughts. "Agent Mulder, there's been another murder. Where are you?" Mulder didn't recognize the man's voice. "I'm in West Tisbury. How did you get my number?" Paranoia kicked in immediately. "From Assistant Director Skinner." Answered the voice. He sighed. "Where?" Looking at his watch, Mulder realized it was going to be a long night as he watched the sun sinking behind the trees over the inland waterway. After receiving the directions, he clicked off his phone and stuffed it back in his jacket. The call to Scully would have to wait. XXXXXXXXX The Tisbury Town Hall was surrounded with activity as the local police tried to contain the level of anxiety building in the local citizens. Mulder moved through the barricades with a flash of his badge, and approached the local police officer, He was involved in a deep discussion about the meaning of 'to serve and protect'. He cleared his throat hoping to distract the irate citizen. Both men stopped and stared at Mulder. "Excuse me, I'm Fox Mulder, FBI." He held up his badge. "Well, thank God someone is here to take control of this situation." The angry man looked back at the police officer. "These officers have no control." The local man turned to leave, but stopped and looked back with blazing eyes. "If you don't stop this Jason, we'll remember the next election time." He turned and stalked out of the same office. The officer sighed and turned his attention back to Mulder. "Jason Bocko, Police Chief. Your Boston office said you were in the neighborhood looking into the Rehill case- " He held out his hand to Mulder. "I hope you are here with some answers. As you can see, the locals are becoming restless. Two local women have been killed within the past two days. They aren't use to violence in their island haven. "What makes you think the two women are connected? The Rehill victim was murdered in Boston at a convention." "Normally I wouldn't have connected them at all, but we received a bulletin over the wire just this morning describing the MO. "This.." he motioned for Mulder to follow him over to the white draped body. Cringing slightly police chief Bocko pointed to the victim as he lifted the sheet. "This victim matches the MO given. He pointed to the young woman's neck the where a ladies beige stocking lay embedded in the flesh. The blue of her face left little doubt as to the means of death. "The Victims, both females early 30's, strangled, sexually assaulted and ovaries ripped from their bodies." He shuddered. "I've never experienced any thing like this before." "That's why I'm here. I have all the background information on the Rehill woman already, but would you mind filling in a few details about this particular victim?" Bocko nodded and pulled out his own note pad, as Mulder dove into FBI mode. Any information the chief could provide would be the basis of a profile he would have to piece together in order to stop the perpetrator. After talking to the local police, Mulder decided to grab a bite, and return to his father's house to do some research. "Lone Gunmen." Langly's voice sounded in his ear. "I knew I could count on you guys being in the office on a Friday night," Mulder said in a deadpan voice as he turned the car onto the main road. "Conspiracies wait for no one Mulder," Langly listened for a response. "I need your help. I'm on the Vineyard. " A lump formed in his throat. "Jeannine... Jeannine Rehill was killed in Boston recently and just tonight the body of a Bonnie Cyler who was Tisbury's town clerk was found in a similar condition. Both MOs are identical. I need you to find anything you can on Cyler. See if she is connected in anyway to the victims of murders back in '85. Thanks Langly." He hung up not giving them the time to respond to the familiarity of one of the names, or vocalize the questions that would undoubtedly follow. Mulder stared around the darkened streets of West Tisbury, the homes were quaint and comfortably spread out, with landscaping that came straight out of a magazine. He knew this area from his childhood, though he hadn't been back much since he'd left after Oxford. There was one place he favored for a quick bite, it used to be a local hang out for some of teenage and college kids when he was younger. Turning into the parking lot, he noted the lack of cars, but it was still open despite the hour. Pulling out the file and his notes he hopped out of the car and headed inside. 'No since wasting time just eating,' he thought as he made his way into the tiny restaurant, and over to a corner table. XXXXXXXXXX "Who was on the phone Langly?" Byers entered the room. "Mulder. He's on the Vineyard. There's been a couple of murders and he wants us to look up some information on one of the victims. He also thinks it may be the connected to the murders." He showed the names he'd written down to Byers. Byers recognized the last name instantly, but the first was different. "Rehill, where have we heard that before?" Byers shrugged and typed the name and location into the computer. His eyes widened when he read the information. "My God, it's Haley's sister." "Shit. You mean Haley Rehill, as in Mulder's ex-wife," Langly asked. "Yes, the same ex-wife he asked us to never mention again after the divorce." Byers answered. "But didn't they catch the guy who did those murders??" "I thought Mulder shot him," Langly reached for his laptop and slipped in his hackers disk. "Me too, Man he was a mess during that case. I wonder how Agent Scully is taking this," Langly asked to no one in particular. "Knowing Mulder, he probably hasn't told her. I would wager, he called us because he hasn't consulted her on this one." Byers offered. "If she does know, I bet she's pissed. Maybe we should send Frohike to console her," Langly chuckled. "Only if you want to lose a part of this organization." The deadpan answer caused a moment of silence, but was broken as both men laughed. XXXXXXXXXX Mulder returned to the house at almost 11, one quick stop at the local market and he'd managed to pick up enough supplies to sustain himself for at least a few days. "One cannot live on twinkies alone..." Scully's voice ran through his head, as he put the perishables in the fridge. He grinned at the thought. They'd come back to his house to eat late one evening and had ended up ordering out after a search and rescue mission into the refrigerator turned up nothing more than half a jug of moldy orange juice and a package of hard stale twinkies. With his groceries put away Mulder grabbed a seat on the couch and pulled out his notes,. There seemed to be no connection no common elements between the two women. Mulder placed the file on the thick wooden table in front of him and closed his eyes, before long sleep overtook him. Bright light brought Mulder out of his slumber. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to find that it was morning. Rubbing away the sleepiness, Mulder glanced at his watch. "7:30 am." He said to the empty house. Wriggling his way off the couch he rose and stretched, and then stumbled into the kitchen. A few short minutes later he'd started the coffee process and then padded off to the bathroom for a shower. Standing under the warm water, he planned his day. He would visit the morgue first, then pay his respects to Jeannine's family. Asking questions about his ex-sister-in-law in the presence of his ex-father in law wasn't something he was looking forward to. The thought of taking the police chief with him crossed his mind. He didn't have Scully to act as co-investigator or was it shield. Did he need a shield? Scully constantly shielded him, and had compromised her integrity by lying to save him more than once. He wished he could have included her, but he wasn't ready to expose his deep dark secrets. They hadn't reached that point in their relationship as partners or friends. Mulder's thoughts turned to the kiss she had almost shared with Eddie VanBlundht. What had he said or done to her to allow him to kiss her? What would have happened if he hadn't burst in on them? Did she feel that deeply for him? Or was it loneliness? Mulder knew what loneliness could do to a person. He'd felt its depth of despair when Phoebe impaled his heart, and when Haley left him. But Scully wasn't like either of them, and that fact both exhilarated him and scared him shitless. Climbing out of the shower, he dried himself, then wrapped the towel around his waist. As he walked into the bedroom, the sound of his cell phone caught his attention. "Mulder." He answered holding the phone with his shoulder as he searched for underwear through his clothes. "Mulder, Byers here." "What have you got?" Mulder stepped into his gray boxers as Byers filled him in on the information they'd managed to dig up. "Well I know you asked us to run a check the town clerk, but I thought I'd run all three. "Three," Mulder slipped into his jeans. "Cyler, and Jeannine Rehill, and Haley. After all he went after her too in '85." "Yeah but that was to bate me. So what did you turn up?" The interesting thing about all three women are their fathers. Both are government officials. They work out of Boston. On the surface it looks like they are veteran government nondescript employees working toward pension and retirement. But...." Byers shuffled papers looking for the information. "But what Byers," Mulder walked into the bathroom holding his shaving kit. "Mr. Rehill is actually an executive level of the DOD. He's in charge of the biochemical research division out of the Boston research center." Mulder stopped dead still, "what? That's impossible, he worked for the department of transportation, when I was married to Haley," Mulder stopped short, and silence prevailed as a pain shot straight to his heart. He hadn't used that phrase in years. Closing his eyes, he focused on the conversation. "He never mentioned working for the DOD." Byers frowned feeling the angst in his voice after the slip about Haley. "The other woman's father was part of the DOD also. He worked chemical defense out of Washington. His daughter had married a local man and moved here a year go." "But there's no connection other than their fathers," Mulder moved his electric shaver over his jaw as he listened to Byers. "No, but there have been three other murders in the past six months with the same MO." Byers turned the page. "One in Maryland, two in Baltimore." "What about the Murders?? Did you find any connection here?? "Not yet. The damn file has been misplaced in the system. We're still looking. We'll let you know when we find it." "Thanks Byers," Mulder started to hang up, but Byers voice stopped him. "Is there anything we can do Mulder? Is Agent Scully assisting you with this case?" He knew what the answer would be, but he had to ask. Mulder shifted from one foot to the other and looked up at the ceiling, "Uhm... No, Scully's not working on this one, thanks again Byers. I'll call you if I need additional information." He hung up this time before any more questions could be asked. Thinking for a moment, as he stared at himself in the mirror, three murders on the East coast... maybe the attacks weren't as random as they had seemed in '85. Finished his shaving, Mulder put down the razor and picked up his phone again as he walked back into the bedroom. "Danny, I need for you to pull information about recent murders in Maryland and Baltimore. The MO is the same, strangled, sexually assaulted, ovaries removed." He pulled his shirt on and began working on the buttons. "Send them to me here on Martha's Vineyard. I'll give you the address," Mulder recited the address. "Thanks Danny." On the other end, Danny cursed as he stuck the two small post-its he'd had to use together on the folder for Mulder. He handed the research material to his assistant with instructions of what case files to pull and the address on the folder where to send them. What he didn't notice was the bottom post-it had become dislodged and the only instructions were *Send to Special Agent Fox Mulder*. One hour later the mail clerk slid them under the locked office door. XXXXXXXXXXX Mulder pulled into the driveway of his former in-laws and shut off the engine. He wished he could turn off his rapidly beating heart. This wasn't a reunion he'd ever wanted to face again. Slowly he climbed out of the car. Hesitantly, Mulder raised his hand to knock and took a deep breath. The door opened and a thin, older woman answered. "May I help you?" She inquired. He produced his badge. "I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder." Her eyes widened. "If you're looking for Mr. Rehill, he isn't here." She looked panicked. "Haley was in a car accident a couple of hours ago. Mr. Rehill has gone into Boston and I can't locate him.." Mulder's heart clenched. "Where is she? What happened?" Trying to swallow the panic swelling in his gut. The woman's eyes filled with tears and she began to sob. Mulder felt for her, but he needed information. "I need to know where she is." His kept his voice calm knowing his own anxiety would only lead the woman into further hysterics. "First Jeannine then Haley." The woman said between the sobs. "She's at the hospital." Mulder turned and ran toward the car, there was only one hospital in town and it was about a ten minute drive away. Recklessly he threw the car into reverse and squealed out of the driveway. Oh god... a tight fear gripped his chest - what if she was dead - or dying and he never got to say good bye? Then an alternate voice popped up in his head. What was he thinking?? She was gone from his life. Why would that matter so much?? It had been so long since they'd seen each other - they'd already said their good-byes.. Traffic in the Down town area was light since it was the weekend. Pushing the speed limit more than a little he managed to make it there in just under eight minutes. Jerking the car into park, he ran across the parking lot bursting through the front door. Fear familiar to him every time Scully was in trouble gripped him as he rushed to the reception desk. "I'm looking for Haley Mulder," Mulder shook his head to clear it. "I mean Rehill, Haley Rehill." He tried to remain calm as the woman behind the desk looked up the name in the computer. "She's in the emergency room." Mulder thanked her as he ran to the ER. "I'm looking for Haley Rehill. She was in a car accident," Mulder asked the older woman behind the counter. "Don't I know you son?" She squinted trying to remember where she had seen him before. Mulder was in no mood for reunions. "I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder......" He reached for his badge. "Fox. I knew I recognized you. How have you been child?" She smiled patting his hand resting on the desk. "I'm fine, but I need to see Haley." His patience was wearing thin. "Don't you remember me Fox?" The woman persisted. "No, I'm sorry. I've been away for several years." He looked closer trying to recognize the woman so she'd let him see Haley. "Fox. I was your science teacher when you were in middle school, Mrs.Shertez." He remembered her. She had been an annoying busy body that his father had detested. "Mrs. Shertez, so good to see you." He hoped his voice sounded sincere. She smiled remembering the polite child from her classroom. "Can you tell me where I can locate Haley?" "The doctor is with her in Room 3........." She called after him as he pushed through the doors searching for the correct room. He stopped outside the room and breathed deeply to regain control of his racing heart. Entering the room, he found the doctor and a nurse tending to Haley. "Can I help you?" The doctor turned and asked. "I'm looking for............" "Fox. Oh Fox, I knew you'd come. When that other agent said they were sending someone up from Washington I knew it would be you." Haley reached for Mulder as tears streamed down her face. He pushed past the doctor and pulled her to him remembering the familiar way she fit in his embrace. Automatically, Mulder breathed in her fragrance. Even over the hospital smell, he recognized her signature essence. He smiled to himself relishing the warmth he missed for so many years. Her sobs lessened and he pulled back to look into her eyes. "What happened?" He brushed her brown hair back remembering times he'd touched her like this. His thoughts were interrupted. "I was just driving home from the library, and a man came out of no where??" She sobbed again. "I lost control of the car." Haley fell silent as tears streamed down her face. "I was so scared." "Are you hurt?" Mulder's voice was soft and caring. "Ms. Rehill has a few bruises, but nothing that warrants her staying overnight." The doctor told Mulder as he handed his patient a prescription. "This is for any stiffness and pain. And the sedative, I gave you earlier will make it easier to sleep when you get home. If you want I'll have your father come and get you." "No, I'll take her home," Mulder looked into her soft brown eyes. She was as beautiful as he'd remembered. She smiled and nodded her head. He stood outside the door as Haley dressed. When she emerged from the room, she slightly swayed and Mulder supported her with his arm around her waist. The drug seemed to be taking effect quickly. He guided her to the car as her head lulled against his shoulder. She fell asleep immediately after being buckled into her seat. He stared at her, reaching his hand to touch her cheek. She stirred but remained under control of the sedative. "I've missed you Sc...? Haley." He removed his hand glad she didn't hear his words and the mistake he almost made by calling her Scully. Turning his attention to the matter of driving her home, he climbed into the car glanced at her again. She was beautiful and it had been so long. Slipping the key into the ignition, he started the car pulling it slowly out of the parking space so not to disturb Haley. XXXXXXX There was a buzzing in his brain - Deep and sharp. It convoluted his thoughts and made everything other than his "mission" a muddy background noise. At the hospital he'd caught a momentary glimpse of his prize. She had been beautiful even with the bruises and mussed hair. She'd lain on the stretcher, tall and slim with rich brown hair and glistening doe colored eyes, his sacrificial angel. He'd been so close earlier.. His breath had caught as the man he'd expected had arrived. Such a pretty picture, he told himself, as she flung herself into the arms of the tall slender man. This was a little more difficult. He'd planned to have her in his grasp before Agent Mulder had arrived - but this would work out too. It would traumatize him to have her taken from under his nose. It was a little tricky perhaps but with the proper planning and the right opportunity everything would fall into place. "Have your fun and get off on it, Sweetie." He'd mumbled to himself. Mentally he reassured himself that it wouldn't be long now. She'd be his for a short while, and there'd be nothing left but a sensuous memory. He squinted in the from his hiding place in the ER watching as they worked on her. He'd tried to run her off the road, impatient to have his prize. It looked like she was crying. That was good. She was vulnerable. He liked that in a woman. He'd have some of her - just a little taste before he did her right, just like her sister. Not that her sister had been part of the plan. She hadn't been. She was unaffected, merely a case of mistaken identity, but he was already in her before he'd realized it so he'd decided to finish the job, anyway. And what a job it had been - The memory was good. She was hot. She'd moaned in spite of herself. Orgasming just before he'd choked the life out of her. His wife had been like that too, horny as hell in spite of herself. But with his wife it had been different it was real. He had loved her, and they, in the delusional manner of creating a normal life, had even attempted to have a child. That's when he'd found out the horrible truth of what she was and what he had to do. They'd never found her body... Pulling himself back to the present, he felt himself become hard as he watched his prey mewl all over her momentary interest. She had a way with men. He could tell that even from a distance. She was the type who could turn her own weaknesses into strengths. In fact her weakness was her strength in that she could make a man do what she wanted by showing her vulnerability. 'Would you be willing to die for her buddy?' He eyed the man as he held her suddenly the door opened and his hiding place was compromised, he had to leave. Nodding to the offending nurse he headed nonchalantly for the exit the hospital greens he wore attracting little attention. One quick glance over his shoulder, there was no one following or chasing. Confidently he made his way over to his car and climbed in. Starting his car he drove away. Now was not the time. He knew where she lived, and eventually he would find her alone. Then he would have his chance.... XXXXXXX A short ride later Mulder pulled the car into the driveway. It was early evening by the time they arrived at the Rehill home. "Haley." Mulder touched her cheek, she didn't stir. Moving closer to her, he slid his arm under her legs and behind her back gently pulling her out of the car. The front door opened. The previously frantic housekeeper appeared to have calmed. "Is she okay? Mr. Rehill will be home soon." The woman moved out of the doorway. Mulder asked where Haley's room could be found. The housekeeper showed him up her room up stairs. Mulder gently placed Haley on her bed, and took an afghan from a nearby chair and spread it over her still form, she stirred and opened her eyes. "Fox??" Haley closed her eyes again and fell into unconsciousness again. Mulder's breath caught in his throat hearing his name from her sweet smile. He sat on the bed and bent over kissing her cheek again. Mulder heard a noise behind him, he turned to find Mr. Rehill entering the room. "Fox, thanks for coming." He shook Mulder's hand moving to observe Haley closely. "Is she hurt?" Mr. Rehill asked. "Bruises mostly. The doctor gave her a sedative to calm her," Mulder stood and allowed Mr.Rehill access to his daughter. When he was satisfied she was okay, he motioned for Mulder to the door. They walked into the hallway and down the stairs. Mr. Rehill knew Fox Mulder was the best person for this search, but having him near Haley again troubled him. XXXXXXXXXX Dana Scully left her mother late on Saturday afternoon. They had spent a pleasant day shopping and having lunch at her mother's favorite eatery. Scully's spirits had lifted. Margaret Scully worked magic with her motherly words of wisdom. Scully rolled down her window singing along with the radio as the warm breeze blew her hair. Fishing around in her purse, she pulled out her cell phone and looked at it. "How did that get turned off." She smiled knowing the guilty party. Almost immediately, the phone sounded. "Scully." She rolled up the window to block out the noise . "Agent Scully, I'm sorry to bother you on your day off, but our Boston affiliate has requested an FBI pathologist for a body that was found recently." He'd had some reservations about sending Scully to Boston but it was the weekend and with half of his staff unreachable and the other half busy with their own cases. Scully was the only pathologist available. Besides she the two cases weren't connected, so they wouldn't be working together. "There have been a series of waterfront deaths in the city's downtown core and they are afraid they may have a serial killer on their hands. " Skinner's voice boomed over the phone. "How many other deaths have their been?" "Four as far as they have been able to surmise. They are mostly street people one hooker, a junkie and two wino's so far. This one was a woman she was found this afternoon, and is probably connected by location alone but the body is in pretty bad shape from what I hear. The local Pathologist is swamped with other stuff and they figure they need a FBI trained specialist at this point anyway.. Can we count on you Agent Scully?" Skinner continued. "Yes sir, I'll see what flights I can take out...." Skinner interrupted her. "You've got a flight out at 7:30 PM tonight." Scully was a taken back a bit, but made no comment. "You can drop by the office on your way to the airport." Skinner suggested. "Sir, is there a case file I can review while I'm traveling?" Scully looked at her watch and rolled her eyes. She only had 2 1/2 hours to pack, go by the office and make her flight. Putting her foot heavily on the gas she moved into the passing lane. "It'll be waiting for you in my office along with the airline tickets." Skinner thanked her again for helping the local authorities and hung up the phone. Scully rushed into her apartment ignoring the blinking light on her answering machine, she was out of the apartment in record time. Throwing her bags in the trunk, she slid into the driver's seat and proceeded to the Hoover Building. Skinner's secretary was never in on a Saturday, but laying on her desk was a thick manila envelope with Skinner's familiar scrawl on it. Her name embossed with thick black marker, leaving little doubt as to who the package was for. Underneath she found her plane ticket sticking out of a plane white envelope. She checked her watch, and cursed slightly. She really had to move if she was going to make it to the airport in time. And she still had to pick up her laptop. Shoving the envelopes into her briefcase she made a beeline for the elevators. There was only ten minutes to collect her stuff from the basement and then back to her car. Anymore and she would be facing one very pissed off boss. Scully unlocked the door to the basement office and immediately tripped over a folder on the floor, picking it up, she noticed the post-it with Mulder's name on it, and underneath the small pink slip she found the true delivery orders. "Courier to agent Fox Mulder C/O Bill Wilton Boston Office". Damn she checked her watch again. It was too late to call anyone, and she didn't know how urgently he needed the information. Scooping up her laptop she stuffed it and Mulder's file in her briefcase. Deciding she would hand deliver it to Agent Wilton when she arrived in Boston. Turning out the lights, Scully locked the door and climbed the stairs for the lobby. She had less than an hour before the flight took off. XXXXXXXXX Settling into her seat Scully closed her eyes. It had been a mad dash from her apartment, to the Hoover Building, and then to the airport. She was exhausted and crashing heavily from the adrenaline high of the past few hours. She made her flight only by the skin of her teeth, after a lengthy run from econo park, and had just managed to get buckled in before the plane shook itself down the runway. Anticipating beverage service, she forced herself to open her eyes, and look around her. The sparsely occupied cabin was dotted with a few flight attendants, and some last minute business men returning home to their girlfriends and families. Families, the word caught in her head causing a momentary wave of longing. What would it be like to have someone to come home to? Someone who waited for her and worried about her? What would it be like to have someone who loved her? A man she could spend slow and lazy Sunday afternoons making love with? Her eyes drifted to the window, and she watched as the lights of the city fell away into the darkness of the night sky. She always sabotaged herself. Any potential man or possible romance fell victim to her own involuntary hibitions. Her sight dropped to the briefcase sitting on the chair next to her. It had been strategically placed there to warn off any uninvited and unwelcome company during the flight. And for what, she asked herself? Why was she saving herself? Did she really want to wait for a "something" that "might" be developing between her and her partner, when he had made it so obviously clear that he didn't want it to happen anyway? Dana Scully let out a pained sigh. She had to start living her own life instead of riding on Mulder's coattails. A low battery warning beep from her cell phone brought her out of her sympathy feast, and she grimaced as it turned itself off. Just great she muttered. Her spare battery was packed in her luggage, and she hadn't even called in to check her messages. What if Mulder had called? Now she would have to wait until she arrived in Boston to retrieve them. Shaking her head, Scully reached into her briefcase and pulled out the files Skinner had left for her. XXXXXXXXXX Scully arrived at the airport feeling fatigued, exiting the plane she looked at the note for her contact's name and crossed the crowded terminal. Making her way to a pay phone she dialed the number to the local bureau office. The airport was extremely busy with weekend travelers that she had to cover her ear so she could hear. When the ringing stopped she listened closely, "Hello, is Stanley Sullivan there? This is Special Agent Dana Scully with the FBI." Looking around Scully wished she'd waited to call from her hotel. "What? I'm sorry I can't hardly hear you over this noise." She listened again. "Okay, I'll call you from my hotel." Hanging up the phone, she forgot about checking her messages and headed toward the transportation area to retrieve her car. XXXXXXXXXX Sunday Mulder House It had been a late evening. Haley's father kept Mulder talking until all hours of the morning. Haley had awoken an hour or two after arriving home and had insisted on sitting up with them as they discussed the case, but it had been as though she wasn't even there. Typically Mr. Rehill had all but monopolized the conversation, barely allowing his daughter a word in edgewise. His concern for his Haley had hadn't waned over the years. In fact it appeared to Mulder that his loving worry had progressed to full-blown control of his daughter's life. Not that things had been much different when they had been married, there had been many times when Haley's family had managed to run the show, though the distance between father and daughter had seemed enough to keep the control to a minimum. The day that she had left him had left a scar so deep and painful that even after all of the years that passed the memory was still as fresh as if it had occurred only yesterday. "Mulder." He brought the phone to his ear hoping it wasn't the police calling about another death. He needed time. His old profile needed some revision he needed to pull together the pieces and make everything fit. He'd been right, but at the time had allowed himself to be assured by his fellow agents against his own better instincts. Every cop or agent had a case that remained with them, he didn't know of one that didn't. For some there were many. For more there were few, but for almost everyone there was at least one. For Mulder this was the case. It had haunted him for many years, it had cost him dearly and then one day he had just let it go. He'd had to for the sake of his own sanity. There had been reports of a body being pulled out of the Shenandoah River 24 hours after they'd pinned the murderer down in a secluded area of the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. It had been a massive manhunt, 20 federal agents involved, everybody from the local Sheriff's department and Mulder had been the one who had fired the shot. He knew it had hit the target because he'd seen the blood. But the suspect, barely seen and almost completely anonymous had fallen backward off a cliff into the raging rapids near Chester Gap, and supposedly to his death. It had plagued Mulder for many years - he knew he'd hit the guy - yet when they pulled his body from the river there was no bullet wound. He could never shake the feeling that the body they found didn't quite fit, and that this particular murderer had gotten away despite evidence to the contrary. Now he knew why. "Mulder..." he muttered into the phone again. When there was no reply he dropped the receiver back into it's cradle. XXXXXXXX The man heard Mulder's voice and smiled as he thought. 'So you think you'll catch me again Agent Mulder? Not before I finish the job I should have finished years ago.' He hung up the phone without speaking. XXXXXXXX Moving over to the kitchen window Mulder allowed his eyes to roam. It was supposed to be a lazy hazy Sunday afternoon. He stared out the window at is father's backyard. In the breeze an old hammock swung gently in between the fruit trees. A momentary picture played across his mind. One day, before they had committed their hearts to each other, Haley and he had spent a warm sunny afternoon making love in the very same hammock. His mother had been away that day and they had taken opportunity to steal some private time together. After the marriage had ended and before the hurt had subsided Mulder had taken the hammock from his mother's yard. It had been stored for years in a box in his apartment storage locker, until about eighteen months ago when he'd been forced to clean the small basement area out. It was around about the same time his father had passed away, and when he'd found the old reminder of his brief marriage, he'd brought it back up to Martha's Vineyard on one of his post-memorial visits. As he stared at the gently swaying hammock, he thought how young he'd been back then and so stupid as well. Shaking his head, he chided himself. Enough, Mulder slapped the kitchen counter top. He was back in Martha's Vineyard to solve a case. Dwelling on past miseries would only convolute the issue and drudge up far too many unresolved feelings. He pulled out the small velvet box that had traveled back with him. Inside was a thin band of gold, with the singular word *forever* inscribed on the inner rim. He snorted. Forever sure as hell hadn't lasted long, he dropped it onto the butcher's block table and made his way to the front door where the bell had just announced someone's arrival. He had been waiting for a package from Washington. Expecting that this was a delivery boy. He grabbed his wallet off the hallway table on the way to the front door. Mulder was more than a little surprised when he opened the door to see Haley's beautiful face. "Good morning stranger..." she smiled unconvincingly. Mulder shifted uncomfortably and then stuttered slightly as she moved through the door past him. "I... uh... I didn't expect to see you again so soon." He noticed her mouth tremble as she passed by him through the door. "I'm scared, Fox." She twisted her purse straps nervously. "My sister is dead and I think it was me that the killer wanted. I didn't want to tell you this in front of my daddy last night. I don't want him to worry anymore about me, than he already does. But I've felt for a while now that I am being watched." Tears began to roll down her face. "And now after what's happened I'm sure of it. This all seems so familiar" She angrily swiped at her eyes. "We looked so much alike. What if it's my fault she's dead? We were both at that convention. She left to get the car. Oh my God! We were even dressed alike that night." She dropped her purse on the floor, her voice rising to a hysterical pitch. "I should have done something, told someone, but I thought it was all in my imagination. I didn't know this would happen." She slid down the wall, crying uncontrollably. Mulder ached to see her like this, while deep down another very small part of him was enjoying her pain. She had destroyed his world and had left him broken, without so much as a glance backwards. At the time he had felt like his whole life had been destroyed. But vindictiveness was not who Mulder was. He hadn't told Haley or her father that the man who had killed Jeannine, and the sole reason for his return was the same man who had torn their lives apart in the first place. The accusations and refreshed anger would only serve to convolute everything. Right now Haley needed help and that was his focus. He bent down and eased her to her feet. "Come on." He slipped a tentative arm around her shoulders and moved her towards the upstairs. "I think you need to rest. You look like you haven't slept in days." "Between the funeral and the nagging feeling that whoever has done this is still out there, I'm a wreck." She leaned on him heavily the glistening tears on her cheek soaking through the shoulder of his shirt. "I haven't been able to sleep or eat for weeks, Fox. I can't live like this anymore I need it to stop. I need you to stop it for me." She sobbed, and clung to him. It was just like old times. The feeling of intimacy was both overwhelming and cloyingly compelling. She drew out in him the basic instinct of protector, lover and father all in one. He wanted to be everything to her and had at one time done just that. He shook off the growing desire in his belly. This was not what either of them truly needed. There was a reason they weren't together anymore. It hadn't worked then and now was not a possibility. "Listen you can sleep in my father's old room. I'll be here. I have to make a few calls but I'm not leaving. You'll be safe here with me." He led her down the dark upstairs hallway, the thick plank flooring creaking out seemingly a warning beneath their feet. His mental path was a dangerous one to be treading. The dark oak door moaned softly as Mulder pressed it open and nudged her into the room, his own emotions a whirl. She slipped off her shoes as he pulled back the covers for her. Haley's eyes not leaving his as she climbed into the soft bed. "Get some sleep." He mumbled and then turning Mulder steeled himself and pushed an emotional path towards the door. Danger and heroism were always powerful aphrodisiacs. "Please just stay with me until I fall asleep, Fox." Her voice was soft, like a child's. Haley stared at him her dark eyes betraying her fear. "Please?" He felt his resolve fleeting. Trying once more he answered. "I have work to do Haley." He took a few steps back towards the bed his body choosing not to obey his mental directions. He wanted to leave, but was doomed to stay. "I'll be right down stairs." He pointed to the door, yet took another step closer to her. "I just need someone, please... Just to hold me, just to make me feel safe for a little while, Fox. Don't make me beg." Her soft fearful eyes melted his heart. Mulder's breath caught in his throat, as the word "sucker" passed fleetingly across the surface of his mind. Without even knowing how he got there he suddenly found himself nestled beside her on the bed. His arms clasped around her, and his heart racing. The years fell away and his mind was set adrift the minute she pressed her lips to his. From somewhere deep down the word "NO" sprung to his lips, but it was lost as she pressed herself into him. He tasted her. His tongue suckling at the sweetness of her mouth as his hands gently explored her body. The sensation starkly familiar and patronizingly sweet, it had been so long since someone had actually needed him and wanted him in this way. That fact alone made the whole event even more dazzlingly sensual. Within minutes he was in her, kissing her, riding her with a fervent desperation. Her soft moans driving him as her nails raked at his back. It had always been this way between them, passionate and tangled. He came hard, his breath jaggedly tearing itself from his chest. They stilled as their breathing calmed. A moment later he was in the bathroom the rising bile in his throat as bitter as the emotions left to him. He had fucked up again, big time. How was inconsequential, he just knew he had. And the caustic taste of regret nauseated him as her voice called to him from the other room. He took deep breaths and opened the door to face what he'd allowed himself to be coaxed into doing. A fleeting thought of how glad he was Scully wasn't there to witness his weakness he knew would hurt her deeply. XXXXXXXXXX Scully had driven from the local bureau affiliate to Mulder's father's estate, the hour long drive doing little take her mind off the day she'd spent in the morgue. It had been a grueling autopsy the details of which had been made particularly grim by the fact that the victim or what was left of her had been in the water for at least two weeks. The determination of a definitive cause of death had been hampered the state of the body and the massive deterioration of the tissues. From what she'd been able to piece together the victim had been female and fairly young. The sogginess and massive bloating along with the lysis of the individual cells had made toxicology tests and vacuuming of the body little more than a process in futility, but she had sent the samples off to Quantico anyway. The local police still hadn't been able to place a name to what was left of the face, and fingerprints were an impossibility since there was little or no tissue left on any of the digits, so they'd have to make due with dental x-rays and hope for a match. The young woman's skin had virtually fallen apart upon touch, much like bread does when it has been soaking in water for too long, so Scully had focused on the harder tissues like ligaments and bone, and at some point later in the day upon closer examination she'd ventured the theory after noticing odd striations in the ligature of the neck, that the victim may have been strangled though it wasn't by any means an absolute or conclusive cause of death. The body having been in the water for so long had not gone unnoticed by the local the aquatic life. Her abdomen had been breached and many of her organs were missing or partially missing after having fallen prey to some of the larger fishes, so death by natural causes couldn't be ruled out either but seemed unlikely. But the most unsettling thing that Scully had turned up had come to her almost at the end of the examination, while twisting the victim's head slightly to get a closer look at the larynx and the pharynx some of the rotted tissue fell away revealing something shiny and small embedded in the nape of her neck. At first she'd though it a bullet or fragment, but her heart almost stopped when her tweezers revealed the all to familiar shape of an implant. Shaking away the chill that had just run down her spine, Scully checked her watch. It was almost five Mulder should be there unless he was out looking into his own investigation. Even if he wasn't she'd wait. The package she had for him was overdue and probably important so leaving it in the mailbox just didn't seem right. After checking her messages at home, she'd called the small Boston affiliate to check in and to see if she could reach Mulder's contact, Bill Warton. Agent Warton however, according to his voice mail, was presently busy helping his wife deliver their new baby, and Stanley Sullivan; her contact had been called away from the office on unspecified business, so after 15 minutes of playing telephone tag with a series of voice mails in an attempt reach a live human being, she'd given up resigned herself to a long drive after finishing up. Besides it would be worth the time if she could run her case by Mulder and show him the implant. The gravel crunched as she pulled up into the driveway. Mulder's father's home was quaint but in a modest way. There were no bright flowers only plain green low maintenance foliage decorating the flower beds, unlike many of his neighbors who had turned their homes into virtual show places. This particular house on the street spoke volumes about solitude and disinterest. Scully eyed the two cars placed side by side in the driveway in front of her. One was a gray ford and clearly a rental, but the other was local. She climbed out of the car . It was probably Mrs.Mulder visiting her son. Knocking on door, Dana waited, the excitement of seeing Mulder causing a niggling sensation in the pit of her stomach. He'd apologized before for his anger, but would this be a welcome intrusion on her part? She'd only begun to ponder the idea that he might not want to see her, when the door opened to reveal a very attractive brunette dressed only in a man's shirt. Recognizing Mulder's shirt, Scully felt her heart shatter at the sight. "Are you the delivery person?" The beautiful leggy brunette asked. Scully noticed her hair was damp, clearing the lump out of her throat, Scully found enough of her voice to answer. "No.... I'm......" She didn't have the chance to finish her introduction before Mulder's voice drifted out from behind the sparsely clothed woman. "Haley, hurry up with the food, I'm starv......." His breath caught in his throat when he caught a glimpse of red hair. "Shit." He managed as his eyes locked with Scully. He closed his eyes and swallowed the rising bile coming from the fist that was suddenly gripping his stomach. Mulder knew he'd just ruined any chance he'd ever had with Dana Scully. Opening his eyes, he saw Scully hand something to Haley and turn to walk away. Scully felt the tears form upon seeing Mulder standing shirtless in the hallway. Clad only in his jeans, he looked down trying to hide the shock and guilt written across his face. She turned cursing herself for not being strong enough to face him. She was running away again, playing the weakling and going against the promise she'd made to herself just a couple of nights ago. But all she could think about was leaving. Her partner was clearly post coitus with a woman she'd never met before. If she hurried, she'd make it to the car before the tears spilled over her cheeks. "Scully............ Dana." She heard his voice calling after her, but she sped up slipping into her car and locking the door as she started the engine. He knocked on the window, but she continued to look away not giving him the satisfaction of seeing the pain in her eyes. "Scully, I can explain, open the damn door." He pounded on the window so hard, that Scully feared the glass would shatter. "What the hell are you doing here anyway, spying on me? Couldn't abide by my wishes could you?" Mulder didn't understand his rage when he clearly was to blame for her reaction. Scully put the car into reverse growing angrier than she'd ever felt in her life. Mulder gasped when he saw the pure rage mixed pain in her eyes when she finally did turn to face him. God, he'd really fucked up that was crystal clear. Throwing gravel as her car sped onto the road, Scully never looked back to see Mulder run into the house. He moved quickly to grab a shirt he'd discarded the day before barely noticing confused Haley standing there. "Fox, who was that?" He looked at Haley as if she were a stranger for a moment. What had he done? He realized at that moment. He didn't love her. All the years he'd buried the memory of her. Buried the pain and the memory of how she abandoned him. Nursing the pain he felt every time he thought of her. Like a ghost haunting his life, Haley had been a ghost. One of many ghostly failures that plagued his life. The only one who'd never hurt him was now speeding out of his life, probably for good. "She is my partner, Dana Scully." Mulder told her as he gathered his jacket and stuffed his feet into his shoes. "Fox, where are you going? I need you to protect me, Fox." Haley's voice raised several octaves becoming hysterical. Mulder walked toward the door, stopped and then turned around, reality hitting him like a brick, "Is that it Haley?" His anger grew as the words spilled out of his mouth. "Why are you here? Why did you seduced me?" His eyes pinned her. She looked away. He continued questioning her. "Do you care about me or did you just need someone to protect you? Isn't that why you left me the last time, I couldn't protect you? Is that why you ripped my heart from me, do you know how much I've hurt? Did you think past your little world that there might be someone else with feelings?" Mulder jammed his hands through his hair looked at the ceiling sighed heavily. "God, I've been so damn stupid." When his eyes came back to Haley, her tears were falling. "Fox...... Fox I'm sorry. I..... I never meant to hurt you. We..." Her voice faltered "We married too quickly." Her tears were sliding down her cheeks. "I was so scared when you were away. I'm not good alone, you know that." She looked at Mulder with weak sorrowful eyes. "After the attack, Daddy felt....." Mulder interrupted her, "Daddy?" he couldn't help the mocking laugh resounding from his throat. "You had a husband for God's sake. Your Daddy wasn't your fucking husband." Mulder's voice grew louder. "You left me because *Daddy* didn't think you would be safe?" "I'm not strong like other women Fox, I need to feel protected." Standing in the hallway, staring at his former wife Mulder suddenly felt at a loss to explain why he was ever attracted to her in the first place. Had he changed so drastically? The sweet childlike bride of his past was now a woman but only in name. Haley hadn't changed over the years. She was still needy, suffocatingly so. The difference was Mulder. When they were younger that had been a seductive quality, it had made him feel needed and wanted. She was weak and that was what he had wanted, someone needy who couldn't bear to be without him. Was this what he had thought a woman should be?? His mother had been the same; fragile, helpless, bordering on pathetic, and Haley had been just the kind of woman that she would have picked for her son. Oh God, had he married her for some sick reason to please his mother? Was his mind so dysfunctional back then that he had chosen a totally different woman than Phoebe to make himself believe he could successfully please himself and his parents by marrying someone like her? Had working with Diana and Dana Scully changed his perception of how real women should act and carry themselves? Drawing strength from them instead of expending all his energy pleasing them like he'd always tried with his mother and father? 'What sick bastard you are Fox Mulder.' No wonder he sought solace in his video collection. No attachment, offered no failure that would be noticed. Just as he'd agonized over Samantha for so many years, then ended up disappointed over their reunion when it turned out that she didn't need him to rescue her. She'd been there all along living a life without him, was is entire life based on the desire or drive to be needed by somebody? Is this why Scully scared him so? She didn't need him, she was strong, and independent, but also tender, gentle and kind. He needed her - so much so that it scared the breath out of him sometimes. There were nights in the dark of his apartment that he would shudder and loose himself at the though of her screams the night Duane Berry had kidnapped her. Scully calling his name into the phone, his relationship with Haley flooded his mind. It wasn't so much that he had failed her as a husband. She had failed him as a supporting wife too. They could never be a whole together because her capacity to bear some of the burden of a relationship didn't exist. So they had limped along deformed and crippled by each others expectations. To work as partners meant supporting each other through good and bad times. Accepting him for what he was as he had accepted her. The marriage wasn't a marriage that would have survived. She didn't complete him like.... He cursed himself again for what he'd done to Scully. Ignoring the tears Haley was shedding he threw a light jacket over his partially buttoned shirt and locked eyes with her. "Haley, go home to your Daddy, I've got work to do." He tucked his shirt in his pants. "I'll catch this killer, reassure him of that." He buckled his belt and finished his putting his shoes on as he walked to the door. "But Haley, don't expect anymore from me. I don't have the time or energy to play nursemaid to you anymore." He reached the door and stopped. "Lock the door while I'm gone, call your dad to come get you and close everything on your way out will you?" Mulder slammed the door as he trotted to the car with one purpose in mind. To catch his partner and try to explain what a sick asshole he was and to try to explain what happened with Haley. Not that he totally understood himself. Mulder jumped into the car and slammed the key into the ignition. Throwing the car into gear he gunned the gas and jerked the car into reverse. They hadn't even talked about the feelings that had passed between them after his recent confession before the bee stung her. Why did he always think he'd have another opportunity? Mulder only hoped she would grant him the privilege of one more chance, next time, he'd finish the conversation. Put all the cards on the table. XXXXXXXXX It was warm and sticky in the confines of the van. Crouched down low so as not to attract any unwanted attention from the people on the doorstep across the street, he waited. He'd been there from early morning, having followed Haley up from her family home, hoping and waiting for a chance. But his breath had caught at the sight of the beautiful tiny red head that had presented himself to him. She'd arrived without expectation like a gift presented by the gods that be. It hadn't been until she'd gotten out of the car that he realized that she would be the next one, she was his, because she was one of them too. The infernal buzz of his mind had reached a fevered pitch as her car had swerved out of the driveway and past him. In that brief moment he caught the look on her face as she passed by and it appeared to be one of anguish. A lovers spat maybe?? Pretty boy taking a little time away to slip his tongue into someone else's doughnut hole?? Don't worry pretty lady, he thought as he pulled his own vehicle out of it's parking space and fell into a less than hurried pace behind her. I'll fix you up good. I'll do you inside and out so well that this guy will be just a faint memory. And then after.... After he would do what he had to. XXXXXXXX Scully cursed when she discovered the ferry didn't leave for another ten minutes, she desperately wanted to leave the island now. While driving to the landing Scully managed to steady her emotions. She didn't want anyone to see the pain she felt, but her insides were roiling. Her chest ached at the sight of Mulder after....... Shaking her head, Scully pushed the thought from her head, never would she allow her thoughts to shift into that direction again. Mulder's actions had numbed her. She'd slammed the door to her heart, and cut herself off from the pain she knew was hiding behind it. The ditching, and secret contacts be damned. She'd had enough. Too long had she put her life on hold to follow him on an intangible quest against an unseen foe they could never beat. She'd been kidding herself that it was her fight too. She'd sacrificed too much of her life in the past five years, and it was time to put everything into perspective, to think of herself for a change. Scully had told him she did everything for him, always for him, "where did it get you Dana Scully? No damn where, that's where." She spoke out loud to no one. Hearing the ringing of her phone, she knew it was probably Mulder. Not wanting to answer it, but feeling guilty if it was about the case in Boston, she pulled it out. "Scully." She relaxed hearing Stanley Sullivan's voice. Some tox reports were back and they had a few possible IDs on the victim. "I'll be back in about 90 minutes, I'll meet you at the morgue." Scully ended the call and was in the process of tucking the phone back into her jacket when the shrill ring sounded again. "Scully." She answered her voice business like and betraying none of the hurt inside. It was probably Officer Sullivan again, had he forgotten something?. "Scully, where are you?" Mulder's voice made her tense. Her heart almost stopped beating in her chest "I'm on my way back to Boston." Scully's curt answer caused Mulder's stomach to clench. "I need to talk to you......" Scully interrupted him, "Mulder, there's nothing to discuss, I only came here to drop off a file that had been left for you at the office, I tried to deliver it to the local field office, but it was closed...." Mulder cut her off. "I'm sorry Scully, I can explain." His voice pleaded. "Mulder, what you do with your personal life is none of my business. I don't want to talk about it, now or anytime in the future. It's your life Mulder....." "But my life involves you." He countered. "Only in our professional life Agent Mulder." Her cool voice slapped him. "Where are you Scully, at the landing? I don't want you to leave without my explaining to you what happened............" "Oh, I think I already have good indication of what happened Mulder. I don't need you to share the gory details with me - friends or not it's something I can live without " Scully's sarcastic laugh sent pain through him. "I may have not had a date for a while, but I still know the look of a man who has just gotten off." She didn't trust her voice any longer. "I have to go Mulder." She hit the end button before her voice betrayed her shaky emotions. Turning off her phone, she dropped it in her purse. Breathing deeply Scully tried to stay the tears that had renewed themselves in her eyes. Climbing back into her car, she allowed them to fall, the pain spilling away as they slid down her cheeks. "Damn you Mulder, damn you for doing this to me, to us." She declared in the privacy of her car. Rubbing at her eyes and the betrayal of their tears she slid the car into gear and followed the line onto the ferry. Finishing a parking spot she stopped her car and got out, as the ferry honked and the loading ramp lifted. With a deep churning of water the ferry began to move away from the dock and towards the mainland. When she looked back at the shore, Scully saw Mulder's car pull up and come abruptly come to a halt. He climbed out and rushed to the mooring craning his neck to catch a glimpse of her. Scully drifted into the shadows not wanting him to see her or the expression of pain she knew was pasted on her face. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how badly he'd hurt her. Feeling her tears surfacing again, Scully breathed deeply as she recounted the times she'd seen him with other women. Phoebe, Agent White, Bambi, Diana. She couldn't blame him he was an interestingly handsome man. Most of the women in the bureau's Hoover building had desired to test the waters with Spooky Mulder. He'd shown very little interest in any of them since she'd joined his side. She knew he wasn't gay or uninterested in the opposite sex, having seen the tapes he occasionally left in their player at work. He was just not interested enough in her. Her mind flashed to the kiss that might have been in his hallway. Maybe she'd convinced herself he cared for her more than just a partner and friend. That day had been filled with emotional turmoil. Maybe he was afraid she would leave and spoke the words in desperation to keep her as his partner. Shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts, she knew Mulder had his faults, but did think he'd stoop to that level of manipulation. Or would he? Hadn't she been faithful in their quest for the truth? Hadn't she done enough, lied enough for him, proved to him she accepted him with all his faults and neuroses? Was she not attractive enough, tall enough, warm enough, desirable enough? Shaking her head again , Scully wiped her eyes and switched gears in her mind. This was going to offer her nothing but a trip into depression. And right now, she had an autopsy to think about and a case to solve. She'd solved cases on her own before, and she was capable enough to bring the perpetrator to justice without Mulder's help. She'd find away to either work with him as a partner, or leave the x-files behind. One way or the other, things were going to change. Her life depended on it. XXXXXXXX Mulder frantically searched the ferry for Scully's car, he pulled out his phone and dialed her number. After a few rings, he slammed it shut. "Scully let me explain, please don't do this." He said to no one as he stood on the shore watching the ferry grow smaller. Dropping his head in defeat, he turned and walked back to the car, climbed in and slammed the door. Why was she in Boston anyway? What was the file she'd brought to him? Starting the engine, Mulder turned the car around, and headed back to the house. As he arrived at the house his cell phone sounded again. Mulder picked it up hoping Scully had changed her mind, he quickly picked it up. "Mulder." His heart sank as Byer's voice sounded in his ear. "Mulder, I've got additional information about the murders." Byers heard Mulder's sigh and waited. "Go ahead Byers." Mulder's voice couldn't mask the disappointment he felt. "There have been four additional murders with a similar MO on the east coast in the last few months. All the victims were young and female and the only connection seems to be their fathers who were either in the military or in our government's employ. That makes 7 all together." "So do you think these men knew each other?" Mulder spotting the unopened food Haley had left on the kitchen table. He picked it up and placed it in the refrigerator. His appetite was gone for the evening. "Dunno Mulder one man was a lower end attach at the UN, a two were from the DOD, the others were suffering in non descript government jobs. We emailed you the victims names and their respective family members." "I'll check the databases at the bureau, call up their files and see if I can connect these men. When you locate the file see if the Virginia murders have the same connection, Thanks Byers," Mulder ended the call. Crossing the room to the coffee table, he set up his laptop, and checked to see that the phone company had reconnected the line. The hum of confirmation was cut short as he yanked the jack out of the phone and plugged it into the computer. The modem let out a short burst of static followed by a squeal as it connected to the bureau's mainframe. Through it he bounced into the Boston affiliate's server and set up a search for the most common elements of the MO. Even though the FBI wasn't directly involved in solving many of the cases it still stored all of the information about any violent crimes that was collected by the local PD in every district. Downloading all cases going back a year that shared any common elements with the MO, he divided them into three categories; rapes, strangulation's, and anything unusual in terms of dismemberment's. The last category was already red lighted and tagged by the local FBI office. Unusual deaths often fell under federal jurisdiction since the method was often violent and possibly serial in nature. As it turned out there had been 50 deaths by strangulation across the Eastern seaboard since the beginning of the year. Mulder was left with a total of twenty women after excluding those victims that were men. He rubbed his eyes and checked the clock in front of him. It was only but it felt like four in the morning. He could just run a cross check for those victims that were also raped, but was probably how the lone gunman had run their search, and any fringe cases - those that were mis-categorized or didn't match the MO exactly wouldn't turn up. Often times a connected case would go unnoticed because some element of the MO didn't match or was skipped all together. Subdividing even further he excluded those whose attackers had been apprehended, and ended up with a more manageable 9 cases. Clicking on his email icon he then waited as his computer checked for his electronic mail. "Humph.." He let out a soft grunt as his computer pinged, announcing the arrival of two whole letters. "You are just too popular Mulder." he told himself, as he double clicked the letter from the lone gunmen. He recognized the four names instantly as part of the nine on his list. Cross referencing them he set them aside and drew up the last five on the list. The first was an unlikely connection as the victim was a homeless kid in her mid teens, and she had not been raped and there had been no mutilation of the body. Reading a little further Mulder discovered that she had run away from home at 12. Her father was a farmer in Oklahoma, and her mother a housewife. He closed the electronic file and opened the next one. It was very similar to the first in that both of the victims were close in age. This young girl however had bee a prostitute and had died at the hands of her pimp. There was a nationwide warrant for one Wesley Taylor but he appeared to have skipped town. Number three was a domestic but the case hadn't been closed because the husband had gone into hiding. Mulder stared at the two files left on his screen, one had been red flagged but the victim was a Jane Doe. It was probably part of a different FBI investigation He'd save that one for last. Opening up the non flagged one he realized at first sight of the victim that this one should be added to his list. The dead woman, Anna Debario had been in her late twenties. She was a beautiful brunette with clear blue eyes. A resident of Boston and a young doctor she had been found strangled, raped and left in a dumpster out side of the clinic she worked at. There had been no removal of organs but the large slash mark across her abdomen indicated an attempt may had been made. Perhaps the perpetrator had been interrupted before having been able to complete his task. This victim made a possible five so far. Scrolling down the page he discovered that her mother was deceased, and her father was a prominent medical Doctor working for a branch member of the CDC; Fema. Mulder's breath caught in his chest. That was a name he had become all to familiar with in the fast few months. Adding Debario to his list of victims he made careful note of her father's name and placed her folder with the rest on his desktop. Staring at the red tab on the final file made him wonder whether he should bother or not. If it was already being looked into by another agent, there was a good chance that this was not a related case. He checked the entry date and realized that it had just been entered into the system within the last day. If it was this new any connections may not have been made yet, since the case file was not even complete. Without the victim's name the pathologists report would be the only way of checking for similarities, because a background check wouldn't even have been attempted yet. He looked at the name of the agent in charge; Stanley Sullivan it wasn't even someone he recognized. Clicking the appropriate button he opened the file it up, noting with surprise that there were no photo attachments nor were there any included within the text itself. Jumping to the body of the report he found the latest entry detailing the location Jane Doe had been found and the condition of the body. Agent Sullivan believed this to be another in a series of drug related murders occurring along Boston's waterfront. His last entry had been made at around noon and at the time he had still been waiting on the pathologist's report. Mulder was about to close the file up when he noticed the pathologists attachment at the bottom of the page. He clicked on it despite the fact that it seemed a waste of time, a was painfully surprised when his partner's name appeared at the top of the page. The hurt and anger he'd seen in her eyes earlier that day flashed through his mind. "Shit" he muttered softly his hand coming up to rub his weary eyes. This was why she was in town. She'd been called into work on a different case. He touched the screen in front of him his fingers gently caressing the words that had come from his partner. Was this why she had come to see him? Had she needed his help? He started at the top and made his way through the file. Much of Scully's information was inconclusive including the cause of death, but she had seemed fairly certain that the young woman's demise had not been drug related. In fact she had noted strangulation as the likely cause though she was far from certain. Toxicologists reports had found no drugs in the soddened tissue nor in what remained of the liver. Other organs had been missing at the scene but were assumed to have been lunch for the fishes. This immediately struck a chord with Mulder, as did the final sentence of her report. 'I have discovered a small metallic implant located in the Jane Doe's neck, it may be irrelevant to the death of the victim, but I will run it past my partner, since it is something very familiar to the X-files division of the FBI, and part of an ongoing investigation.' Mulder pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, he really needed to talk to her and after all that had gone on that day he wanted to see her. Picking up the phone he called the Boston office only to get a referral to the police department or a pager number if it was a matter of bureau business and an absolute emergency. He dialed the pager and left his number. Moving Jane Doe's file along side the others on his desktop, Mulder closed his computer and picked up the package Scully had delivered and broke it open, the contents spewing out onto the dark wood of the coffee table. It was the information that he'd requested from Danny. Much of it redundant material that had already been supplied to him by the gunmen. Placing the contents back into the envelope he yawned and stretched out on the couch. Waiting for a call from the person on the other end of the pager, and unable to return to the bed he and Haley had shared earlier that day, he flicked on the television. Flipping to rerun of Star Trek he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift. Within moments Fox Mulder was fast asleep. XXXXXXXXX He watched as she stopped her car in the parking lot of the hotel where he'd tracked her. She'd been unaware of their intertwined futures as he stood next to her on the ferry. Seemingly lost and distant she'd virtually ignored everything going on around her. It had been the perfect opportunity to observe her undetected. Ignoring the infernal buzzing in his brain he'd even been bold enough to try and approach her in conversation. But she had retreated her car after a brief hello. Licking his dry lips, he watched, savoring the moment as she opened her car door and dropped her foot onto the pavement. God her leg was beautiful. She truly was a magnificent creature, full of life and fire. He felt himself growing hard just watching her as she bent over to retrieve something from the passenger side of the car. Her skirt inched up her thigh with the movement and he touched himself relishing the though of what was to come in a few hours. She would be a sweet treat, full of spice as he fucked the life out of her. In anticipation his fingers rubbed the sheer and supple fabric of the nylons in his pocket. Would she scream as he wrapped it around her neck and squeezed life's breath out of her? The predator in him screamed, yes, as the ecstasy of contemplation heightened his already agitated state. But he knew she wouldn't. There would be no begging, or pleading from this one. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. But he would make her squeal with pure pleasure as he entered her, they all had and she would. The anticipation was almost more than he could stand. She stepped out of the car and proceeded to her hotel room. He moved like a cat, quietly, carefully as not to alert his prey that he was stalking her. She was tired, he could tell by the way her body moved, the quality was a weariness that seemed to have sunk through to her bones. He sniffed the air catching her sent like a cat seeking the aroma of his prey. His pants became more uncomfortable as the anticipation of his conquest played in his mind again, over and over like a ritual in preparation the for the inevitable. He would take her to his private place. The hotel was too public, the walls were paper thin he didn't want to entertain the possibility of being interrupted as he brought her to ecstasy and then took it from her. He'd take his time with this one she was special, like a diamond in a sea of cheaply cut zircons. She'd enjoy it. He was a powerful lover. His wife called him magnificent. He missed her again for a moment before the memory of what they had done to her making her tainted and unclean for his love. This one he would purify with his sex before he freed her from the bondage she suffered at their hands. It was his mission to take revenge on the men who'd taken his life-love and robbed the other women of their purity. He felt for the bottle of chloroform in his pocket. He'd carefully wrapped it in his handkerchief . He was ready. Now, all he needed was the opportunity. Slipping under the stairs he sat, making himself comfortable. It wouldn't be too long now. A few more hours and she would be his. XXXXXXXXXX It was almost midnight when Scully walked slowly into her hotel room. Exhaustion had set in after a long day and the ensuing emotional upheaval with Mulder. Unfortunately, the trip back to the morgue had done little to help her disposition, either. She was fairly certain that the victim she had autopsied earlier that day was not related to the case that Agent Sullivan was working on. Regardless of this fact she was still expected to finish the job she'd started and hopefully give the poor girl a name to be buried under. After reviewing the 20 or so recent missing persons, she'd narrowed the field to three, one of who was senator's daughter. Once she'd laid out the possible identities for the Agent Sullivan and the families had been notified, the pressure was on for a definite identification. But that wouldn't come until the following morning when the dental records arrived. Her emotions had calmed somewhat on the way to the morgue. Exhaustion and the control needed to focus on the autopsy, as well as the meeting with Agent Sullivan, has usurped them somewhat. The work had provided a sorely needed distraction from the emotional carnage the day had wrought on her. Entering her room, Scully didn't want to think about Mulder, murder, autopsies, loneliness. All she wanted was to fall into bed and hide in unconsciousness. She had barely removed her clothes when her strength ran out and she slipped under the covers falling into a deep exhausted sleep. XXXXXXXX Glancing at his watch, a wide grin spread across his face, four thirty AM. The hotel had been quiet for almost an hour. The evenings last stragglers, had headed off to their rooms not to long after the bars had closed and except for the odd stoned hooker and her john coming and going intermittently, the rooms had remained silent. Checking his jacket pocket once again he fingered the chloroform, while his other hand removed a small lock pick kit from his pants. Look casual he reminded himself , as he stepped from his hiding place beneath the stairs. There was no one around. Red's room was only 10 feet away so he covered the distance quickly. He almost turned back as he heard a tight moan followed by a squeal of pleasure echo near by. Had he missed someone entering the room? Was she still awake? Was she pleasuring herself? All these questions ran rapid fire through his head. And the buzzing had increased since he'd reached her door. Hard pressed to determine who's room it was coming from he leaned his head up against the door in front of him. All seemed quiet so he slipped the pick into the lock just as the banging began. A man's loud "Fuck baby" broke the night as he rapidly jiggled the instrument in the lock. The woman was moaning now, and he himself was beginning to get a hard-on. His movements became almost desperate as he twisted the pick. "Oh... Fuck me! Fuck me!" Sounded from the room next door as the lock finally gave and the door slid open under his grasp. He slipped in quickly and silently. His breath jagged as he listened to the people in the other room going at it. His prey seemed to be undisturbed by the noise next door. He stood still listening a moment as another moan and a frantic cry sounded through the wall. He wanted the same he wanted it now. He could almost feel her soft slickness.. Ohh yeah his mind pictured the sweet red head wriggling with pleasure underneath him. But he couldn't. Not here, this was dangerous. Better to follow his original plan. The buzzing in his brain had broken free and it was making it hard to think. He wanted her but he wanted to take it slow and easy, enjoying her, relishing her. She wasn't like the others he could tell from the moment he'd seen her . There was a connection, a distant one, faint in his memory. There was something about her mouth, her hair color, her size.... XXXXXXXXXX There was noise in the background she was sure of it. It sounded primal, sensual.. like one of Mulder's dirty videos. For a moment she wondered if she were dreaming, but then the unfamiliarity and lack of comfort of her own bed reminded her that she was in a hotel., a cheap one at that. "Oh.. Fuck me! Fuck me!" reverberated through the room almost shaking the walls with it's demand. Christ! She mentally cursed her neighbors, at the same time contemplating getting up and kicking the wall in to shut them up. But she couldn't. The exhaustion of her day had sunk through her. She didn't even have the energy to open her eyes. They'd stop soon she told herself. Eventually all good things had to come to an end. Lulling herself back into a sleep state she'd almost succeeded in blocking out the noise completely when she heard something else. A slight rasp, it sounded like breathing. It couldn't be. She was alone, yet she wasn't. She knew it instinctively. The hairs on her neck stood on end. She'd have to move quickly. Her gun was placed carefully on the bedside table. One lighting the quick move and it could be in her grasp. She couldn't open her eyes who ever was there might see her. Scully's respiration's quickened in her chest and in an instant she was up fumbling for her gun. But he was there, on her before she had a chance to even grasp it. She knocked at it and it uselessly thudded as it hit the floor. A slight scream escaped her throat, just before chemical soaked material covered her mouth. Deep piercing blue eyes stared at her, as her head became heavy, and she slipped into darkness. She was beautiful. He ran a thick finger over her porcelain complexion. Thick full lips.. She was silent now. The fight drained from her as the drug had taken effect. Perfect timing! The room next door had grown quiet. He bent down and pressed his lips against hers, tasting her. Mmmmm.. Sweet, like candy... his mind whispered around the thick buzzing in his head.. His hands roamed pushing aside the blankets. She was wearing an light and loose knee length teddy her movements having worked it up almost to her crotch. Brushing it up the rest of the way he slipped his hand in through the leg hole of her underwear his fingertips reveling in the soft patch of hair they discovered there.. He was hard now - ready. He could do it now.. He should do it Now! Now! Now! NOW!.. His mind ordered him, as he hungrily licked his fingers. No! His reasonable self argued, as his hand oblivious to the internal struggle going on, pushed the nightie up to reveal one supple breast. Without thought his fingers made their way across the areola to tug gently at one thick pink nipple. Overcome he reached down and took it into his mouth imagining the moan of pleasure she should be uttering. He would do her here... He pulled the stocking out of his pocket and slipped it around her neck. A loud pounding on the door stopped him cold.. From outside a man's voice filtered through the door.. "This is the manager - I've had some complaints.. keep it down or I'll have to call the police. " Frozen in place waited for the sound of a key in the lock, but it never came. A few moments later he heard the sound of shuffling footsteps move away from the door. That was too close! His reasonable self told him.. Follow the plan! It ordered him. His erection gone now, he dabbed some more chloroform onto the cloth and placed it over Scully's mouth again just as a precaution. Then he wrapped her up in the blanket and threw her over his shoulder. It was only about twenty feet to the car.. Opening the door he poked his head out and looked around.. There was no one visible! Within 3 minutes he was in the car pulling away from the parking lot. XXXXXXXXX The next morning, he awoke with a start. Something wasn't right. He could feel it in his bones. Rolling off the couch, he stumbled to the bathroom. Relieving himself and then washing his face, Mulder stared at his bleary eyed reflection in the mirror. He looked like death warmed over and felt like it too. He closed his eyes to block out the pathetic vision of himself as his mind replayed the events of the previous day. It had been a bust, much like the rest of his life. His morning ritual complete, he walked into the bedroom. The bed catching his eye, as he moved to his suitcase to get some fresh clothes, his mistake had been a costly one, and the loss irreplaceable. Would Scully every forgive him? Had he literally screwed up his chance to break through her controlled walls to see the warm, loving side of his partner that he only caught glimpses of on occasion? How could he have been so careless, allowing Haley to manipulate him again? He'd given into her seduction like a starving child in need of a mother's love. Willingly he surrendered his control to her so he could what? Feed his male ego? Was it because he was so desperate for someone to want and need his protection? Was that the lame excuse? Mulder continued to berate himself as he reached down and touched the sheets he had shared with his ex-wife earlier. He could still smell traces of the evidence of the crime he'd committed against his heart. Enraged at himself and Haley, he ripped the sheets off the bed. Savagely he pulled them from the mattress, rolled them up and threw them across the room. Mulder wanted no evidence of her in his life for eternity. He'd kept her shrine alive long enough. He'd suffered for her, mourned her absence almost to destruction. He remembered a saying from years ago his grandmother had told him. 'That which does not destroy you will make you stronger.' He didn't know if he was necessarily stronger but he was finally smarter. He would not succumb to the leverage and insecurities his broken past had thrust on him. He would close his mind to the image of Haley hovering above him as they had repeatedly made love. It would still exist and be part of his life, but he wouldn't allow it to dominate nor direct him any longer. The exquisitely complex love/hate, need to be needed, roiling emotional mess that had roots in his childhood would no longer be empowered. It had made him sick the first time, his subconscious unsuccessfully warning him away, but like an animal going to slaughter, he allowed her clutches around him again. The second and third time he'd barely felt the guilt of enjoying her pleasures. It had been a release. Perhaps their inevitable separation had been a way to torture the torturer. In the distance his reflection was broken by the ring of the downstairs phone. It was more than enough to send him running. "Scully." He murmured as the heavy burden of shame settled over him again. He rushed to the ringing phone, his knee deflecting off a small end table and a tight "Shit" drifting from his lips as he quickly grabbed the phone. "Mulder." "Agent Fox Mulder? "A man's voice filtered in from the other end of the phone line. His heart fell when he didn't hear the one voice he'd hoped would be on the other end. "Yes. And you are?" "This is Agent Sullivan here Boston. I'm presently working with Agent Scully on local a case." "Yes I read part of your case file last night." "I see. She mentioned that she'd been to consult with you yesterday in the afternoon. I was just wondering if you had seen her since? Mulder's heart almost stopped in his chest. "No not since yesterday." "And you haven't talked to her since then?" "No, why??" Mulder's intuition was kicking in, a deep sense of panic building inside him. "We spent the better part of the evening last night trying to identify a young girl here in the county morgue. We'd agreed to pick it up here again this morning, but agent Scully hasn't arrived yet and she's two hours overdue. I called her hotel this morning and she didn't answer. I'm at the hotel, now and her car is parked out front but there was no answer when I knocked. I just wondered if she might be with you." "Which hotel is she staying at?" On full alert, Mulder wrote down the address given to him and yelled, "I'm on my way" into the receiver before he slammed it back into it's cradle. He ended the call practically jumping into his clothes before bolting out of the door towards his car. Mulder knew the killer must have stalked her and now wanted to add her to his list of casualties. If his profile was correct, the perp must have something to do with the tests. But why was he killing these women? Revenge? Was he a government employee like Krishgau? Could he be a dysfunctional part of the experiment? Questions ran through Mulder's head as he pulled out of the drive racing toward the airport for the short hop to Boston. He knew he would have to act fast, or his whole reason for continuing might not last another day. XXXXXXXXX Mulder arrived at the hotel in record time, screeching the tires as he swung the car into the parking lot. He saw a car that looked like the one she'd been driving the previous day and pulled into the empty spot beside it. Parked ominously on the other side was a dark government issue sedan. It's occupants conspicuously absent. Mulder took the stairs two at a time with ease, he arrived at her room to find the door open and a tall dark hared man digging under the bed. The bed obviously been slept in it's sheets rumbled and dragged on the floor during what looked like a struggle. "I'm Fox Mulder." He stared at the man as he rose from the floor, with a gun in his hand. "Stanley Sullivan." He held out the small gun. "I think this belongs to your partner it was under the bed." Mulder covered the short distance between the door and bed, he squatted surveying the area closer. No blood, a silent prayer of thanks ran through his head. Reaching up he grabbed the gun from Sullivan's hand and checked the serial number. "It's Scully's," he told the man in front of him. "It looks like there's been a struggle, but at the same time I'm unsure." Sullivan indicated the state of the bed. "Nothing in the room has been touched other than the mess of the bed and the hotel manager said he was called up here last night with complaints of someone having some very loud sex. " "Sex?" Mulder looked almost dumbfounded, she wouldn't have.. Not out of revenge.. She couldn't have... Besides, he reassured himself, Scully wasn't like that. She wasn't the type to pick up some stranger and take him to hotel room. He thought back to Ed Jerse well she wasn't normally the type. Sullivan continued, "Her purse is gone as well, maybe she left of her own free will and got tied up on the way into the office?" Mulder shook his head in disagreement. "Scully is meticulous about time, and her gun." "Maybe it fell out of her purse, or she dropped it without noticing?" Mulder shook his head again, "Scully always double checks it before she leaves anywhere." Sullivan shrugged. "She was in a hurry.." "Her car is still in the parking lot." He indicated the rental parked out front. "And this doesn't feel right." His anxiety jumped several notches. "No something has happened to her." Mulder was certain. Both his instincts and the boulder sitting in his stomach told him so. "Well, I'll call the office again, and if she hasn't arrived I'll have them send out a team, but she'll probably be thoroughly pissed if it turns out she's just hung up somewhere." Mulder nodded and headed quickly for the door, his toe kicking aside a small glass jar. "Agent Mulder where are you going?" Sullivan's face imparted both confusion and worry. The glass of the jar tinkled lightly as he picked up the small bottle, the sight of it's contents making his insides go numb "This may be related to the case I'm working on." He told the man distractedly as he stared at the implant. "Keep me apprised of the situation here. I have someone I have to go see." Mulder climbed into the car his head reeling, this was all related to the implants, The recent murders, Haley's stalking, the VA murders almost a decade ago and most importantly, Scully's recent disappearance, all had a direct tie-in the government, how, he wasn't certain but he could almost smell the fetid connection . As the shock wore off the anger set in, Mulder clutched the bottle in his hand as a new hatred for his father's work and the smoking man surfaced. His blood pressure increased as he felt his anger boil. "Damn all of you to hell." He shouted as his frustration overtook him and he slammed his fist into the steering wheel, the pain of it making contact satisfying some inner need for self immolation. Gaining a little control back he slipped his key into the ignition as his cell phone rang. "Mulder." His voice was tight when he answered. The fine wire of control he had left was already fully taut.. "Agent Mulder." A sinister voice echoed through the phone line. He knew immediately the man wasn't a friend. "Who is this?" He checked the number reading on his phone, and it was all too familiar. Whoever was calling was using Scully's cell phone. "Oh Agent Mulder, don't you remember me? I seem to remember an incident a few years back with your, then, wife." Mulder's breath caught in his chest. He'd been right ... he'd been right. The mantra spun through his head making him almost dizzy. "It's been a while since we've crossed paths, and I just thought I'd reaffirm our acquaintance..." "What do you want?" Mulder closed his eyes against the spinning that was assaulting his head. "I think the question is what do I have that you want? Isn't that it my friend?" "Listen you, Fu... " Mulder didn't have time to finish the sentence "She's beautiful you know..." The man's voice quivered maniacally through the static of the cell phone. "She's tiny, probably very tight. Her rich red hair, the pale white of her skin looks amazing against the filmy blue of her pajamas." The man's voice dropped his worlds thick and husky, almost sensual. "Mmmmm those full luscious lips. Has she ever given you a blow job Agent Mulder? It must be heaven..." He laughed. Mulder leaned his head back against the seat, this wasn't happening.... "I'll have to try it with her before.. well you know..." Mulder's anger exploded . "You keep your fucking hands off of her you bastard or I'll cut your fucking heart out with a spoon!" "Now what fun would that be Agent Mulder?" The man's voice took on a deadly tone. "I am going to FUCK her senseless Mulder, in and out and every way possible and then I will kill her because I have to. Then I will take that loose cunt of a woman you used to call a wife and do the same with her because she is one of them too." There was a short pause as the man caught his breath. "One of whom? One of what?" Mulder managed to ask before the man went on. Information, he needed to get as much as he could. Maybe the murderer would slip and give a clue... "You know the score Agent Mulder. I've been away but I've kept tabs on you, and your career." The man's voice turned to one of almost camaraderie. "You know about the implants and the plot by our government to allow the eradication of our species. They are systematically destroying us. By preparing hosts for an alien race, and by stealing the seed of our women, the females of our species, they are slowly allowing a genocide to occur. without the ability to reproduce we have no future. They all must be destroyed and they will one by one. This pretty lady here will be next. I will fuck her I will cleanse her and then I will kill her, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. It is truly fulfilling to know I am able to fulfill my destiny and seek revenge for the bullet wound you gave me, all in one fell swoop. Say good-bye, FOX!" With that the line went dead. XXXXXXXXXXX Mulder pulled into Haley's driveway and brought the car to an abrupt halt, climbing out he raced to the door and knocked heavily. The door opened and Mr. Rehill stood tall in the doorway. "I need to speak with you," Mulder pushed his way into the house without invitation. "I need to know your involvement with this whole mess," Mulder pinned his former father in-law with a threatening look. Mr. Rehill didn't flinch, but sat leaned up against the wall and sighed. "Fox, I am involved but anymore than that, I can't tell you.." Mulder interrupted, "Bullshit! You knew from the beginning, didn't you?" His fists clenched almost painfully trying not to lose his control. "Right back to when the murders happened back in the 80's, you knew the connection." "When Haley was younger, I worked for the state department. I even knew your father. It was about the time your sister disappeared. I found out some things I probably would have been better off not knowing. Needless to say, I paid for it by Haley disappearing for a couple of months." "You mean Haley had missing time? She never told me," Mulder interjected. Rehill moved into his study motioning for Mulder to follow. "She doesn't remember it. She was young. They did something to her mind. That's why I've been so protective of my daughter Fox. I couldn't bare to lose her again." His voice broke remembering Jeannine was gone. "I'm sorry for taking Haley away from you Fox. When she was attacked all I could think of was my little girl. That's why I objected so strenuously to your marriage in the first place. I needed her somewhere where I could protect her. You didn't know the score." Tired, drained by his revelations Rehill sat heavily on his time weathered sofa. "She was a married woman, with a husband who loved her," Mulder said in a quiet voice. "I know that Fox, and I'm sorry." Mr. Rehill averted his eyes not being able to bear the intense anger radiating from Mulder. "I thought if I went along with them, they would leave my family alone. Then, I got in too deep." "And Jeannine?" "They took her too but she's wasn't like the others. She didn't have an implant. She was sterilized but there was something wrong with her genetically. She was born with Thalessemia minor. Her blood was bad. They sent her back without an implant." Mulder was livid, as his protective instinct took over. "And you subjected your children to this? You agreed to it?" Rehill shook his head in denial. "No. Not at first. I was horrified at what they were doing. Then Haley was taken, and I had no choice but to go along with it. For their safety and for our survival." "So you've sacrificed Haley's happiness, and any chance she has at a normal future?" Mr. Rehill nodded his head. "At least she has a future." Mulder couldn't help but huff a sarcastic breath. He gathered his thoughts. There were so many things he wanted to say to Mr. Rehill, but it wasn't helping Scully throwing accusations back and forth. "What do you know about these murders? They're all connected to this, right?" Mulder asked flexing his hands. He'd been holding a fists so tight that it had cut off his blood flow. "We knew long ago that someone was preying on our.. subjects." Mr. Rehill choked out the word. " At first we thought it random deaths. We lose a few people to natural situations. But then a pattern seemed to emerge; method of death, locations." Looking haggard and aged Mr. Rehill rose from the sofa and began to pace. "All of the women murdered had been.. taken catalogued, implanted. All of the women had a parent somehow involved in the government. People in the organization started talking. Watch your children protect them. Someone?? Someone on the outside knows. Then the FBI got involved. We knew they would eventually, and we were hoping that you'd stop him." Mulder turned on the man his voice furious. "I thought I had brought the attack upon Haley." he pounded his chest. " I thought that it was my involvement in the case that almost got her killed! All along it was you. You knew this was possible yet you never warned me. You allowed me to bear the guilt of our failed marriage." "Your involvement with the case did put her in jeopardy, Fox. He wouldn't have known of her, at least not right away. " "But eventually he would have gone after her. Like he did last week. Only this guy made some sort of mistake and got Jeannine instead. Was it worth it? After all is said and done?" "We thought it was over. We all breathed a sigh of relief when the agency reported his death. Then about two years ago it started all over again." "Two years? You've been letting this guy kill for two years?" Mulder stared at the man horrified. "Overseas Fox. England, Japan, Greece. Egypt.. We've had people investigating. They've come up with nothing. We're at a dead end. At one time we thought he might have been a member of the project but all leads got us nowhere." Mr. Rehill sighed again feeling helpless. "I had no idea he was back in the states." "He called me. He seems to think he's cleansing these women, saving them, somehow." Mr. Rehill's head snapped up, Mulder had his attention. "He has my partner, and he told me Haley was next." "I'll take her away then. I can't lose another daughter." He stopped his attention drawn out the window. "Not before you tell me everything that they know about him." Mulder spun the man around. "My partner's life depends on my finding him, and for that I need you." "We don't know where he gets his information, but it is from an inside source. He knows the ones that have implants." "Get whatever you have on him." "I can't do that. There's no way I could get the information without exposing myself and my family." Mr. Rehill protested. Mulder's eyes narrowed. "You will get me the information I ask for NOW, because if you don't and anything happens to my partner you, I'll blow the lid off your little party." Mulder's voice was as cold as steel. "I'll tell everyone inside the government that you're the one whose been leaking information to me." "Don't threaten me Fox, people have disappeared for less." Mr. Rehill countered. "Perhaps I should first tell you what happened to my last informant? You won't be able to protect your daughter if they choose to make an example of you. " Mr. Rehill flinched and looked away as he heard movement behind him. Haley entered the room. "Dad, Fox. What are you shouting about?" Haley's confused voice broke the tension between Mulder and Mr. Rehill for the moment. "Nothing honey, leave us alone." Mr. Rehill's fatherly voice snapped Mulder's patience. "Yes Haley, run along so your father won't have to tell you about his dirty dealings with the government." His voice dripping with anger. "Shut up Fox." Mr. Rehill face turned red with anger. "Come here Haley." Fox held out his hand. She moved to him. He turned her around and lifted her brown hair. There was the same scar Scully had, he'd never paid it much attention when they were married. "Ask him about the scar on your neck." Mulder let her hair go and Haley faced her father with a questioned look. "What scar? Daddy?" She reached for the scar with her left hand. "You said I fell when I was younger." Her confused voice wavered. Haley turned to Mulder. "You're scarring me Fox. What is this about?" "It's about information I need from your father." Mulder pinned Mr. Rehill with a steel glare. Not wanting Mulder to reveal anymore information to upset Haley, he relented. "Okay Fox, I'll cooperate. As much as I can. Let me make a call." He left the room. There remained an awkwardness between Haley and Mulder. "Fox, what's this about?" Haley demanded. Mulder turned his attention back to Haley. Her eyes were swollen and her hair mussed. "My partner, Dana Scully." He began "From the house, the redhead?" She asked. "Yes, she's been kidnapped." His eyes fell to the floor as his voice trailed off. "Oh no. I'm so sorry Fox." She moved into his personal space. He held up his hand to stop attempt at comfort, not welcoming her closeness. "I think??. I think he was following you Haley." Mulder explained seeing her gasp bring her hand to cover her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes. Mulder felt a tinge of joy seeing her in pain. He didn't move to comfort her. Mulder's concern lay with Scully and the sick bastard that held her. XXXXXXXXXXX Scully felt consciousness slowly creep back to her. The fuzzy feeling in her head caused her focal skills to fail. She blinked twice trying to pull the world back into focus. Scully knew her hands were tied. She could feel the bonds cutting into her wrists above her head. Her thoughts though still clouded warned her to stay still. The last thing she remembered was the sickly sweet smell of chloroform. It's stench still clung to her. She was being held captive. That much she knew, but what would happen to her if her captive knew she was awake was far too uncertain. She was prone lying on something soft. A bed?? Her thin pajamas did little to protect her from the cool air blowing around her. The place was air conditioned. A Home? The linen smelled fresh. A Hotel? It was dark in the room, but her eyes were adjusting slowly. A chill ran through her as she remembered the terror of waking and knowing she wasn't alone. He'd knocked the gun from her hand. If she was still her hotel room it had landed on the floor. Was it still there?? He'd been strong and it had been over in a matter of seconds. Who was this man? What did he want from her? She lay still listening for breathing, any noise to signal he was in the room, nothing, silence throughout the small space. Scully risked the cover of her unconsciousness by moving slightly, when no one came for her or no sound was heard she lifted her head to look around. Her eyes had adjusted enough to the dimness of the room, that she could make out some of it's simple furnishings. Up against one wall there was a small mirrored dresser, with a chair sitting next to it. Something that looked like an old tea cup sat on an old sturdy table near a barred window. Curtains that were faded and aged, but thick enough to block out most of the sunlight trying to sneak in the window. Moving her head more her eyes found what appeared to be the only way out the room, a large oak door. A slim light shone from beneath it indicating that there might be someone else in the house with her. She let out a slight moan and shook away the dizziness that was warring with her consciousness. Just a titch of movement made it's way to her ears. It had come from the other side of the doorway. The knob squeaked slightly as the lock gave. By this time Scully had dropped her head back onto the bed, hopefully that her guise of unconsciousness would be successful, and that her captor would leave her alone for a while longer. Heavy footsteps made their way across the floor and stopped in front of her. She could smell the chloroform more heavily now. It had to be on his clothes too. He was close. Too close. Stifling a shiver of fear, and trying to squelch the drugs nauseating side effects Scully remained lifeless as his hand moved over the bare skin of her legs . "I wish you'd wake up love. I've got a surprise for you." He moved his hand and loosened the strap tying her feet together and moved them apart. Scully used all her strength to remain slack.. "You're so beautiful." His cool hands moved up under the fringe of her teddy, as she fought the overwhelming instinct to pull away "You look so much like my dear wife. Same hair, and soft, pale skin." He moved his hands up between her thighs his fingers rubbing gently at the fringe of her underwear. She could feel his breath moving up her body to where he'd shoved her nightgown. She almost lost her control as he pressed his nose against her panties and inhaled. Fear gripped her as he moaned and buried his nose harder against her apex. "You even smell like her. God I'm hungry. I wish you were awake." His labored breathing signaled his arousal. She noticed movement and heard the zipper from his pants being lowered. Dana prayed he wouldn't notice the fear that gripped every part of her body. Fighting not to kick out and scream as his teeth pulled at the cotton covering her sex. "Ohhhhh...." He let out a soft moan of delight as he pressed himself up against her. "Yeah." Another moan tore itself from his throat as his hips rocked against her. "Baby" Exploded from him as he rubbed his exposed penis against the cold naked flesh of her leg. 'What kind of deranged psycho was this? Smelling her, biting her, jerking off as she lay unconscious.' Scully's thoughts were interrupted as he let out a frenzied cry. He was rocking desperately now one hand was pressed between her and him egging on his inevitable climax, while the other one slipped inside her. She bit back a cry and for a moment she drifted away. Pulling her mind from the terror of his assault, she envisioned Mulder while her mind chanted his name. It was a momentary distraction, easily destroyed by the animalistic scream of her captor, as he came. His breath grew jagged against the damp material of her panties, as he grunted and breathed someone's name she hadn't heard before. "Ohhhh... Yeah," he repeated as he ground his wet sticky semen in to her leg. Revulsion slammed into her but she forced herself to relax again. He had concluded his sick release. Hopefully he would leave her alone. "Mmmm" He gave her one final nuzzle, and then his fingers slipped out of her, and moved away from her panties. Everything was quiet for a moment. All she could hear was the sound of his rapid breaths slowly returning to normal. Then the bed moved slightly. It's weight shifting more than uncomfortably close to her face. A second later he was kissing her, his lips molding themselves against her. She was horrified, almost overcome by a reflexive need to recoil, but she stood her ground and remained still. Telling herself that this would be nothing compared to what he would do if he knew she was conscious. "Soon." he whispered and then he was gone the solemn sound of a metal zipper breaking the stillness of the room. "I may have to keep you a while if you're this hot before I'm actually in you. I'll cleanse you with my sex before I release your torment." He whispered. Scully could feel the air move around her as he made his way around the bed. Remaining calm, Scully managed to stay motionless as his steps signaled his exit. "I'll be back soon love, hopefully you'll be awake. Then, we'll be together." The door clicked shut as the lock tumblers turned. A moment later another door slammed and not long after she heard a vehicle motor and the crunch of tires on gravel. Dirtied and disgusted, Scully wanted to cry. Opening her eyes, she looked around. She wouldn't allow herself to cry. If he came back before she managed to escape she didn't want the tracks on her face to alert him to her consciousness. Frantically, she moved her bound hands back and forth. They were tight, but the strength of her small hands caused the soft leather to give a small amount. Her feet weren't bound, so she moved them away of the bonds that had been holding her to the bed. Flipping herself over she studied the leather for a moment. She might be able to undo it.. Wriggling she managed to make her way up towards her hands, a soft "Shit " escaping her lips as her forehead came into contact with the hard wood pickets of the bed. Wrapping her mouth around the leather strap she gripped it between her teeth and tugged at the knot holding it together. Glancing at the door she stopped. Did she hear a noise?? A low meow sounded from outside the bedroom window. Closing her eyes she held back the tears threatening to fall. "Get it together Dana " came out of her mouth as an order, and she began to assault the knot with renewed ferocity. After a few intense minutes Scully could taste blood in her mouth as she chewed at the knot. Finally, the leather loosened enough to move her hands, she slipped one out with a tug, and with it's leverage gone the leather went slack and her other hand slid out with ease. A spark of Joy ran through her and she moved off the bed. Her wrists stung as she rubbed at them, and made her way over to the door. Laying her head against it she listened for movement on the other side. He'd left. She'd heard him, but what if he'd returned. Satisfied everything was quiet, she moved to the dresser looking for a weapon in the sparsely furnished room. The drawers were empty except for a few pieces of women's clothing. Undergarments, Scully determined as she held them up to the light of the window. Closing the drawers carefully she moved silently back to the door and listened again. Still clear. Making her way over to the window, Scully moved the heavy curtain slightly and peaked out from between it and the frame from which it hung. Her eyes automatically squinted from the bright light of a sunny day. Scully didn't know what time it was, but guessed by the brightness it was late afternoon. She quickly turned the top latch with a faint click. Slowly she raised the window and pulled at the bars. The feeling of frustration along with fear rose in her gut as the bars held tight. Looking out the window she didn't see anyone that could help her. The closest house was several hundred yards away with no one in sight to hear her cries for help. Scully scanned the horizon for another residence, and then noticed a van coming toward the house, quickly closing the window, she frantically searched the room for anything she could use to her advantage. Finding nothing handy, she looked back at the leather tied to the iron headboard. Moving over to where it hung she climbed onto the bed again, careful to avoid the wet patch he'd left on the sheets. She was beyond the point of no return now. Her movements had disturbed stuff in the room. He would know she was awake so faking wasn't even an option. Pulling at the leather until it was freed from the wooden post, she figured that if she could overcome him, she would tie his hands behind his back. Turning she took another almost frantic look around. He would be here soon. Noticing the table and chair, Scully moved over to them, and picked up the chair. It was a cheap chair, but too heavy for her to effectively lift over her head. Trying to remain calm, she pushed the chair back under the table, and almost smiled when table wobbled. Grasping the edge of the table flipped it over tugged at the legs. One was painfully weak so she worked at it until the flimsy wood gave with a dry crack. Brakes screeched as the van drew to a halt outside the house. Her heart began to race. Carefully moving the curtain to catch a glimpse of her captor, Scully's eyes widened and a gasp escaped her as she recognized the man from the ferry. Quickly she moved toward the door taking position behind it hoping to gain an advantage over him when he returned. Footsteps in the hallway signaled his reentry to the house. She waited until the footsteps stopped in front of her door. Her lungs sucked in the musty air of the room as her respiration's increased. Adrenaline was coursing through her as her body to tensed. The anticipation of the upcoming confrontation was almost paralyzing yet somehow exhilarating at the same time. Scully raised the leg over her head the leather strap held firmly in her mouth. Then suddenly the door opened and there was no more time for thought. The wood of the table made a agonizingly heavy thunk as it made contact with her captor skull. Scully wanted to jump for joy as the man fell to his knees clutching his head. Scully brought the table leg down again this time connecting with his back, with that he grunted and fell to the floor. "Bitch," Scully heard him groan. Angered, terrorized, ferocious she wanted to swing her weapon at him again and again. She wanted to kill him slowly and painfully. He should suffer for what he'd done to her. No one would blame her. She brought the leg down one more time and stopped, as he slumped against the worn wood of the floor. She was an FBI agent second only to a doctor and life was sacred. She paused to see if he would move again, then stepped over him to run for freedom. He was lightening quick and grabbed her ankle as her foot landed beside him. Scully fell to the floor flipping over and kicking him in the chest. Another groan and two swift kicks to the man's ribs caused him to let go of her ankle and Scully stumbled to the door still clutching the piece of wood that had aided her in the escape. She barely looked as she made her way down the dusty corridor towards what looked like the front door. In an instant she was through it. Outside the van sat in a graveled driveway, and she ran to it looking for the keys, her adrenaline high preventing her from feeling the cool air on her exposed skin, are the sharp gravel beneath her bare feet. Scully cursed finding the door to the van locked. Remembering the house, she turned and ran through the field separating the two houses hoping someone next door would be home. Looking back, she didn't see movement around the house she'd just fled. Maybe he'd passed out. The field was thick with thistles and weeds and they scratched brazenly at her legs and feet as she made her way through it. "Hello? Is anyone home?" Scully called through labored breaths. Reaching the front porch she peered inside the house. Tattered curtains clung to the window and there was no furniture inside the house. She tried the door handle but it was locked. "Damn." Frustration evident in her voice as she climbed down the porch and moved to the back of the house. All the doors locked, and even if she did get in it would only be a trap for her if he came after her. There was quite clearly no one living there, hence no phone. Frustration played havoc with her already frayed nerves, as she looked around for another house. Her tension level rose, there was nothing around but fields and forest. She walked to the edge of the empty house and peered around the corner. A feeling renewed terror took her as the man she saw her captor stumble to his van and unlock the door. Her eyes darted around trying to decide which direction to run without him seeing which way she'd gone. Scully quickly darted into the woods and hid behind a large tree as his truck barreled down the driveway and headed in her direction. Without thinking, she ran deeper into the woods, tripping over raised roots, and fallen trees. Scully looked back a few times to see if she'd been followed, but the thick foliage prevented her from seeing more than a hundred or so yards in any direction. Finally, she stopped for a moment to both gather her thoughts and catch her breath. Bending over, she breathed as quietly as possible at the same listening for footsteps. Faintly she heard a twig snap. It was enough to cause her to bolt. She had to find a road. If she did it would inevitably lead to a phone somewhere. 'Mulder.' She thought running and jumping over obstacles in her way, but she knew he couldn't help her. She had do this on her own, and she would. Dana Scully had overcome worse in the past. Feeling a spark of renewed strength, she spied a clearing in the woods. As she approached the edge of the trees she slowed, carefully inspecting the horizon. Past the fence surrounding the woods, Scully saw a road sign. *Great Meadows National Wildlife Refuge* Under it read *Wayland 5 miles*. Moving through a barbed wire fence she caught the filmy material of her nightie on a prong. She heard it rip, but didn't bother to look at it. It was the least of her problems. It was a road. Not much of one, more gravel and dirt than concrete but it would take her to where she needed to go. Scully ran in the direction of the town until she could run anymore. The sun had begun to sink on the horizon and she feared exposure if she didn't find additional clothing. Hearing the faint noise of a car engine she stopped and strained to see if it was a friend or foe. Her eyes widened as she recognized the shape of a van. Rushing for the fence again, she slipped through and took refuge in the trees. Standing complete still she held her breath, and listened as the van slowed. Knowing any kind of movement would expose her. And then surely end her life, she flattened herself to the tree praying that God would have mercy on her. Relief flooded her tense, tired body as the van crept past her and moved out of her view. When it had been out of sight for a few minutes, she moved again, This time staying in the cover of the woods. The road was faster, easier and far less painful but she would wait until well after nightfall before trying it again. A shiver ran through her, reminding her of her almost naked state. Rubbing her arms with her hands, she forced herself to keep moving through the forest. Her eyes continuously searching the road for the van. XXXXXX Mulder stared at the mound of paper in front of him, Rehill had been right. They'd been searching for years and had amassed mere scraps of information. The file on his lap was at least a hundred pages thick but it repeated the same information over and over. It was someone within the government who had access and knowledge. They'd had a suspect years back, a scientist by the name of Jim Falls, but he had died in a plane crash over Arizona. With that occurrence the clues had run dry. Yet the murders had continued. 100 pages by 25 different operatives had turned up nothing. He ran a shaking hand through his hair. Hours wasted and he was no closer to Scully than he had been at the hotel. Mr. Rehill could have duped him, not given him the whole file, but regardless of that fact Mulder was sure that there was little else he could get out of the man. He was probably long gone by now. His beautiful home now abandoned, given up willingly for a life on the run. Despite the difficulty of living that way it was still no retribution for what he had silently allowed to be done to his children or the nation. While losing his daughter Jeannine was a start, Mr. Rehill by no means had paid his dues. Scully.... She was out there somewhere. He could feel it. She wasn't dead yet. He would know when that happened, wouldn't he? He would feel it. He was sure. There was a connection there one that went beyond words and mere emotions. Like a bonding of souls. He would know if the bright flame that was Scully had extinguished. She was there somewhere and he would find her. Beside him on the seat of his car lay her gun. He picked it up, it's weight was light in comparison to the gun he normally carried. It was made for someone smaller, though it was still just as powerful and still could kill just as easily. Tears clouded his eyes. He was at a dead end, and there was little else he could do. Scully was out there and there were no leads. She was on her own. Shoving aside the paper on his lap he tucked her gun into his holster, and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Time to go in. Agent Sullivan had come out once since he'd pulled up in front of the Boston office, but had left Mulder alone once he'd seen the haunted look in his eyes. Maybe they'd come up with some information from the hotel. A finger print, a clue of some sort that would give away the killer's name. He opened the door and climbed out, a page from the folder floating helplessly to the ground. He snatched it up and was ready to shove it back into the folder when he caught sight of the picture. It was an old and cloudy employee photo, but even distorted he recognized the man as someone he'd seen "around". The heading under the picture gave a name to the face. Jim Falls, the dead scientist. Mulder's heart leapt. It was him, the killer. He was alive. He'd seen him recently, on the street, in a passing car. Somewhere... He flipped the page over. There was an old address and a picture of a farm house, Fall's former home. It was an unlikely lead, but killers had a tendency to remain attached to certain things. Mulder eyed the address, Wayland, it was several hours drive. He checked his watch. 6:00 PM he could be there by nine, but would that be soon enough? He slammed the car door behind him and darted into the building. A helicopter would be faster even with all the red tape involved. XXXXXXXXX Scully's adrenaline high waned as she edged closer to town. Dusk had set and the chill in the air that caused almost as much discomfort as her bruised and bleeding feet. All along the way she had been assaulted by stumps and shrubs and other debris, and her now ached with each consecutive breath. The van had passed her a couple of times still looking for her. Somehow he had managed to hover around her almost as if she were carrying a homing beacon. He'd move away sometimes for 20 minutes at a time but he always managed to come back down the road and figure out approximately where she was. She'd kept deep enough in the forest that she felt minimally safe but she knew he was out there somewhere nearby, waiting. Scully didn't know how far she'd traveled, but hoped she'd see some form of life soon before she became swallowed up by darkness. She had considered attempting the road again but his last pass had been with the lights off, so she'd decided to stay in the relative cover of the trees. On the road she would hear him coming but not before he saw her, that she was sure of now. Stopping to rest for a moment, Scully searched the dim forest floor for some type of weapon. Primitive as it might be, it would be better than being caught without any form of protection. She caught sight of a small spindly tree that would be sturdy enough for a spear. She grabbed the base of the tree and tried to pull it out of the ground, trying to keep any unnecessary noise to a minimum. The small tree gave way under her movements and then it's roots finally released it from the ground. With dirty and scratched hands Scully pulled as much of the bark away from the end as possible to form a crude point. She broke off the greenery from the top of the tree and broke it in half so she could use it as a walking stick. Then she began her trek once again. Her thoughts turning once again to Mulder. Did he know she was missing, yet? Did he even care? Yes, she knew he cared, but the painful memory of his awkward betrayal still assaulted her along with the thoughts of her partner. Shaking her head, she tried to think about the autopsy she'd finished before the abduction. Could this man be the same psycho that had killed the girl they'd fished out of the water? Maybe he was the one responsible for the waterfront deaths. Or had Dana Scully been just a random victim for some rapist? There had been no way to determine whether the victim had been sexually assaulted, but she had one thing in common with the woman she'd autopsied, and that was the implant. 'God " She muttered to herself, "You're beginning to sound like Mulder." Bringing her mind back to the present. Scully noticed the fence end as well as the woods, in the distance she could see lights. Her hopes lifted as she, once more, crawled through the barbed wire. Scully felt more and more uneasy as she neared the town. She hadn't seen the van a while which should make her breath easier, but it could also mean that he where she was headed and he could waiting for her just up the road with his lights off. It was not was an option she wanted to think about. Maybe he'd given up she told herself. Perhaps he was gone off to find another victim. Selfishly she hoped for the possibility, but humanly she didn't wish her experience on anyone. Besides she knew. She could almost feel that he was up there somewhere ahead waiting. She shuddered again remembering his breath on her body. Pushing the thoughts aside, Scully searched her surroundings for any sign of the kidnapper. Her instincts told her to find the first phone and call 911 or find solace at the first home she found someone home. XXXXXXXX He felt the buzz in his head again, so he knew she was close. It rose and fell as she drifted in and out of his range. It was funny how he just knew that she was there, nearby. He could feel her presence grow, along with the buzzing in his mind. He'd been taken many times as a child, and he shared the same implants that his prey did. But his was different. He could actually feel another like himself. That was his talent, a skill he was sure had been given to him by God to protect the world from the upcoming invasion. Someone in the government was sacrificing the human race for some other agenda and it was his duty to stop it. They'd taken his love early on, and then returned him to her, changed and barren. He'd killer her to spare her, and then set about making them pay by taking what was valuable to them; the women, their breeding stock and their hosts. It was a plot he'd discovered early on after his indoctrination into the secret government world. He had been someone at one time, a brilliant scientist. But then he'd found out about the tests and the organism, and objected strenuously. So they'd taken her, his beautiful wife and turned her into something recognizable but horribly wrong. This was his life now. He'd saved plenty of money so when he's had his run in with the law he'd made the decision to travel. There were plenty of victims all over the world and he'd done them all. A martyr's work shouldn't be totally without it's rewards. He smiled, most of them had been beautiful, and those that hadn't, could be fantasized into someone else. Reality broke in, as his eyes relayed some sort of movement somewhere ahead of him at the edge of the forest. She was there somewhere in the darkness, possibly waiting and watching as he was. He'd looked for the last hour frantically trying to cut her off from the nearest town. The fiery redhead, was a smart one, and he cursed himself for being so caught up in her charms to forget to bound her feet tightly. With each passing minute his admiration grew for her. She'd gotten much farther than any of his other victims, but would teach her a lesson for hitting him and rejecting his cleansing. But first he had to catch her before, he could inflict his punishment. The excitement and buzzing in his brain pushed him forward. XXXXXXXXXX Scully wanted to cry out in joy when she saw the lights of the first house. She pushed her tired, and painfully bloody feet onward, fighting the fatigue trying to overtake her. The cool night air chapped her lips as it passed into her aching lungs. She ignored the discomfort and kept moving. There was no time to stop to rest. She ran up to the front door of the house and knocked frantically on it, her breath raking it's way into her chest. Looking through the window for movement, she almost laughed at the sight she must have made. She probably looked like an extra on the set of one of those Halloween films, with her tattered night gown and a large spear in her hand. There was no answer, so she pounded again. Someone had to be home. But no one came to the door. Cursing, she descended the steps and ran around the side of the house, not wanting to lose hope just yet. Reaching the back porch she hammered on the door there as well, but to no avail. There was no one home. "Where is everyone in this town? At the damn Dairy Queen?" She asked herself. "Oh.. That sounds good right now, Dana." Some frivolous part of her mind put in and it was joined in tandem by the growling of her stomach. She'd had a cold dry vending machine sandwich the night before and a cup of stale coffee, to wash it down with. A feast it hadn't been at the time, but right now she would have settled for the leftovers if given the opportunity. All thoughts of food flew from her mind as she heard the sounds of approaching footsteps. Turning around round her hopes were dashed when it was a large dog waging his tail made his way to the bottom of the porch. Exhaling the breath she was holding, Scully almost smiled but the emotion wasn't in her. 'Where's your master fella.'' The dog barked as he wagged his tail. 'Some watch dog you are.' She turned back to the road, but heard the sound of a car engine. Scully crouched searching the darkness for moment. If it had been the homeowners they would have pulled into the driveway. It had to be him, she through a strained look over her shoulder and slipped back into cover of the woods behind the house. XXXXXXXXX He'd heard a dog bark near the dimly lit house through the open window of his van as he crept down the road. She was so transparent in her search for a rescuer. He listened more intently with the engine off. The dog didn't bark again. No matter, she'd be trying to get to the nearest shelter or the nearest phone and her options at this point were limited. He'd grown up in this town. Smiling to himself, he hit the gas peddle. He knew where to wait for his prize. XXXXXXXXX Scully was moving through the woods again, just inside the tree line. She was far enough back so as not to be seen, yet still fairly close to the road. Fatigue threatened to overtake her with every step. She was exhausted. It had been only two or three hours since she'd escaped but to her muscles, and feet it felt like a week. Everything hurt. The thought of her deep warm sud-filled bathtub passed through her mind. The press of it against her skin and the comfort of it's scented water surrounding her sounded very much like heaven at this point. Soon she told herself. Now wasn't the time to lose focus on her goal. The closer to town she came, the more the lights of the town broke through the darkness. She called on her remaining strength to bring her closer her destination. It was just up ahead, the welcoming and familiar red white and blue lights of a small AAMCO gas station and convenience store. A feeling of relief and gratitude flooded her body when she spotted a phone booth near the side of the store. Stealing a quick look around, she noticed little or no movement inside the store. And a swift inspection if the parking lot revealed a single decrepit motorcycle. Maybe he did give up. Scully told herself. Steeling her nerves she stepped out of the darkness of the trees and then sprinted across the pavement towards the booth. For a moment she entertained the idea of going inside and asking to use the phone there, but if she was still being tracked or he did manage to find her, she'd be putting whoever was in the store in danger too. Her conscience wouldn't allow it. The man who'd taken her was probably desperate by now. She'd seen him, and knew where he lived. He had nothing to lose and probably would think little twice about killing an innocent bystander. She'd call 911, and then slip back into the woods and wait for the police to arrive. Reaching the booth, she stepped in and pulled the door close behind her. The thick metal flooring was ice cold but by now her feet were so sore and bloody that the coolness felt good against the pain. Leaning the stick she still held up against the glass in front of her, she picked up the receiver. A deep hum reverberated through the line. And at this particular moment it was like music to her ears. Checking over her shoulder once she quickly dialed 911. Nothing.. The town must be too small for the service. She was trying to remember her calling card number when she heard a noise behind her. Turning around she let out a gasp of horror at the sight of her captor pressed up against the door. His sinister smile sent cold chills down her spine. He had a gun in his hands, and it was pointed directly at her. "Hang up the phone Agent Scully," His voice was flat. Dropping the receiver, Scully quickly grabbed the stick and hid it behind her back. Then backing up against the phone she shook her head in defiance, while her free hand felt it's way along the keyboard. A small beep sounded from the phone as she hit what she thought was the '0' key, but it went unnoticed by her captor as he through open the door. "You've been a very bad girl." He told her, and then motioned with the gun for her to step out of the booth. Hesitantly she moved out onto the pavement, waiting for just the right moment . It came almost immediately when the distant sound of laughter broke the silent night air. He turned to look over his shoulder in the direction of the noise and Scully took the opportunity to embed the sharp end of the stick in his stomach. He groaned and fell back as the wood pierced his skin. On reflex, she brought her bare, sore, bruised foot up to knock the gun from his hand. His equilibrium was compromised so severely by her assault he fell to the ground with a thud. Blood ran out of the wound in his belly and over the fingers now gripped around the base if the spear. Scully scrabbled for the gun as her assailant desperately reached for her with one hand, all the while he was attempting to pull the stick out of his gut with the other. She grabbed it first, and backed away from him. Her arms anchored in front of her. "Freeze you son of a bitch. You're under arrest," Scully shouted. Her heart was pounding in her chest. He stood on wobbly legs staring at her with a look of confusion and pure disbelief. He took a step toward her. "I said freeze or I'll shoot," Scully warned him. "You won't hurt me will you Phyllis?" He asked. "I only tried to free you from the torment of what they did to you.' He pleaded, and moved another step closer. Scully took aim and fired into his shoulder, and he jerked back but didn't fall. His eyes came back to hers thin and angry. He lunged for her and she fired again. This time he stopped dead in his tracks as blood oozed out of his chest and spread along the front of his gray shirt. He was dead before he even hit the ground. Dana Scully didn't hear the shouts from the attendant who'd emerged from the gas station. When she saw he was no longer in any shape to move, she her strength suddenly dissipated. "Oh God..." Escaped her mouth as her legs suddenly turned to mush. Unable to stay upright any longer, she slid down the wall of the phone booth, and with the weapon still clutched in one hand she began to cry. In a matter of moments a flurry of police and local sheriff cars appeared in the parking lot with a squeal tires, and a chaos of lights and sirens blaring. Scully felt a hand cover hers as it took her weapon. She looked up as a blanket was draped over her shoulders. "You all right miss?" A kindly man in his mid fifties lifted her to her feet. "I'm Sheriff Wentman." "I'm Special Agent Dana Scully with the FBI," Scully mumbled as she pulled the blanket tightly around her. "Please Call my partner, Agent Fox Mulder, he'll verify my identity." She rattled off Mulder's number as strong hands guided her towards a waiting ambulance. She looked back at the still body on the payment. "He could be a serial killer I've been investigating." She told the policeman. He nodded as Scully assisted onto the stretcher. "I'll need to do an autopsy as soon as I get cleaned up." Her voice was weak, and the sheriff smiled the look on his face conveying the fact that he thought she was delirious. Another uniformed cop stepped into the telephone booth and picked up the receiver. "Hello, Sergeant Cassidy here." He listened. "Yes, we have the situation under control thank you for alerting us." He hung up the phone and moved to the bystanders for questioning. XXXXXXXXXXX Mulder drove well over the speed limit to the local hospital, he'd arrived at the police station mere minutes after the call for help had come in. The dispatcher had relayed enough of the details that he'd been able to determine that the victim was in fact Scully, and was told that she was in her way to the hospital. Not much happened in Wayland so Scully's stabbing her attacker to death was the big news of the evening. It hadn't taken much effort with the bored housewife type that called herself a receptionist. He'd been able to commandeer a small police vehicle and directions to the hospitals in only a short time. Pulling up in front Mulder eyed the squat red brick building with little or no interest. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. They'd said she was a mess over the radio, but just how badly injured they'd been unable to tell him. To someone who frequented large city hospitals it looked like little more than a clinic, but in this case beggars couldn't be choosers. Bringing car to an abrupt halt in front of the lighted 'Wayland City Hospital' sign, he sprinted across the parking lot shoved the emergency doors open with a smack. The waiting room was virtually empty yet his frantic arrival brought stares from those who'd taken up residents in the Emergency department's standard issue orange plastic chairs. "I'm Fox Mulder, you have my partner here?" He asked making his way over to the front desk, his badge already in full view. The graying black woman behind the counter grinned. "Small, red hair, about 5'3"?" "Yes, where is she??" He demanded. His eyes searching the small trauma area sectioned off from behind the desk. "She's in trauma room two." She caught Mulder's arm as he made his way past her. "Sorry, I can't let you in there just yet." Mulder shook her off and tried to force his way past her. "Sir." She grabbed his arm once again, her next words grounding him like a two ton lead weight. "They're running a rape kit on her right now." His blood ran cold. "Rape?" The word fell painfully out of his mouth, and he shook his head in disbelief. "No." He muttered and tried to make his way by the woman keeping him from Scully. He had to see her. To know she was all right... "I understand your worried, sir." The nurse tried to reason with him. "If you'll wait right here I'll see if they're done, and if she wants to see you right now." He was beyond moving at this point anyway. Rape??? His mind had finally wrapped itself around the word. Just the thought of someone hurting Scully like that, but it was part of the guy's MO.. He could have. Probably had... Tears built up behind his eyes. Not Scully. She didn't deserve it. For most women who'd undergone the experience, life was never truly the same. It stole a part of them that they could never get back. "She'll see you now, sir." The nurse had returned. This time when she took his arm it was to lead him to the room. Inside Scully was sitting up on the side of the bed, a nurse and a woman doctor hovering around her. "Hey." He opened the door and entered, drawing a tired smile from his partner. He was overcome by the urge to pull her close to him and never let her go. But he didn't know if that was what she wanted or needed, after what might have been done to her. There were soft material bandages wrapped around her two tiny feet. They traveled up her legs to the edge of her hospital gown and from the looks of it beyond it. There were red angry looking abrasions decorating her arms and he winced along with his partner as the nurse tried to dress them. "Are you okay?" He asked from a distance, unwilling to move any further into the room unless invited. "I'm fine Mulder." Classic Scully he should have expected that that would be her answer. "The nurse said that they were running a... a......" He wanted to say rape test but the words couldn't make it out over his tongue. "Some tests.." Scully's eyes fell to the floor. Her entire body ached and they were about to cover ground she didn't have the strength to get into at the moment. "I'm fine. Really Mulder, he didn't rape me. At least it doesn't look as though he had." She let out a small cry as the nurse moved behind her and dabbed some iodine on a particularly deep gash. "Can you just take me to a hotel somewhere so I can get some sleep?" "I'd like to keep you for observation for just one night." The Doctor piped up. Scully shook her head, "No, I just need some tylenol and a bed." She held her hand out to Mulder, and he obliged her by moving across the room and taking it. "Can I just borrow some scrubs to leave here in?" The tone of her voice left little room for argument. She wasn't staying. Using Mulder's hand for support she gently lowered herself from the stretcher. Her feet hurt a lot more now, than from when she had been brought in. Warm and no longer numb she was being fully assaulted by her injuries. "I'll get you some scrubs, and slippers." The nurse left, carrying her small dressing tray with her. Signing a release form and passing it to Scully the doctor made her way over to the door, "If you're sure you want to leave." Scully nodded her head. "Then I'll leave a prescription for you at the front desk and I'll call you with the fluid results as soon as we get them back Agent Scully." "Thanks.." Scully studied the floor tiles again. The tests had been humiliating, but necessary. She just wanted to put it out of her mind, to make it all disappear, but this was something she knew would be with her for a while. Raped or not she had been violated in the most intimate of ways. She felt dirty, sickened by it all. The memory of him touching her flooded back and she quickly put it out of her mind. Mulder watched as the woman left and then brought his attention back to his partner. "I need to go to the bathroom and then I'll get changed and we can leave." She gulped back the bile sitting in her throat. "I'll just be a minute." Scully told him her eyes following his, he was looking past her to a small table beside the stretcher. On it lay the remnants of her small pajama. "He took me from my bed." She informed him. Mulder's hand came up and caressed her neck, as his fingers moved up to cup her chin. He applied only a small amount of pressure but it was enough to bring her around to look a him. In her eyes he saw barely contained tears. He gently brushed at one as it began a slow track from the corner of her eyelid. He took her in his arms. For a moment he thought she would resist, and she had but it had been fleeting. Then she buried her face into his chest and began to cry. It was heartbreaking, and had the guy who'd done this to her not already been dead Mulder would surely have killed him himself. A few moments later the tears subsided and Scully found herself lost in the sensation of being held by Mulder. For a short time she felt safe and secure, and then the memories of the beautiful brunette surfaced through her tired mind. She pulled away from his embrace missing the warmth as she wiped her tears and threw up her defenses. "I'm fine Mulder. A bit bruised and battered. " She backed away from him. "but I'm fine." She looked at the ground. "I want to do an autopsy on him, tomorrow if possible.." Mulder interrupted, "Scully leave this for someone else okay? I'll find us a hotel for tonight, and tomorrow we head back to DC. Someone else can pick up the ball on this one." He reached for her hand again but this time she moved out of his reach. She backed towards the washroom door, as the nurse returned with the clothes. "Tonight I'll get some sleep, no argument. But tomorrow I want to do the autopsy." The nurse handed her the scrubs. "Large is the only size we have, right now." "That's okay. Thanks.." She clutched the clothes to her chest her eyes begging Mulder not to fight her on this one. "Take care." The nurse left the room.. "You don't have to be the one Scully. Someone else can do it. They'll send us a report. The case is closed. He's dead." "But there's something strange about this man." She told him. The pieces would come together but only after she'd rested, then she would be able to think straight. "We'll talk about it tomorrow." Mulder rose and walked over to the phone and punched O, as Scully headed to the washroom. "This is Agent Mulder. Can you recommend a hotel close by." XXXXXXXXXX The county morgue reeked of death and formaldehyde as the darkly clothed men slipped in silently. They checked the night attendant, then quietly opened the drawer where Jim Fall's body lay. After a moment of acknowledgment, a body bag was unfolded on the floor. They then lifted the dead weight and wrapped it in the bag. Well-trained in this sort of game they silently slipped out of the morgue with the evidence. There would be nothing left for Agent Scully to tie the murders to, no hint of military experiments, no one to point a finger at. Jim Falls would just be remembered as the Psycho he was. XXXXXXXXXX It was the 9 am ringing of the phone that rudely startled Mulder awake. "Mulder." He said his voice still sluggish with sleep. He was exhausted, drained. He hadn't slept well after they arrived at the hotel. Scully had been distant and quiet while answering his questions, her simple yes and no answers lending an air of finality to the conversation, he'd loaned her one of his shirts and shampoo since she had nothing of her own. For almost an hour after he left her, he'd listened through the door. Much of that time she'd spent in the shower. He could almost picture her trying to scrub away her memories, whatever they would be. She'd said she hadn't been raped, but the asshole had done something to her he could tell. And victims, assault victims generally complained of feeling dirty. Mulder had listened as she'd prepared for bed wanting badly to hover over her, and only when he was satisfied that she was asleep, did he climb into his own bed. Then he lay for hours thinking just thinking about what had happened, and how he'd almost lost her again. "What the hell?" He asked loudly as he sat up in the bed. "What do you mean the body's gone?" His voice became angry and louder. "Don't you have security around that place? Have you dusted for prints???" Mulder was interrupted and listened for a moment, then hung up the phone. He pinched the bridge of his nose dread sitting heavily in his stomach. This was not news he wanted to break to Scully. Reluctantly, he rose from his bed and knocked on Scully's door. He didn't hear a response so he opened the adjoining door XXXXXXXXXXX She stepped out of the car on shaky legs moving slowly to her apartment door. Mulder followed close behind, but knew not to help her unless it was warranted. His concern for her mental state overshadowed the injuries on her body. Warily he moved up beside her already knowing what her answer would be before he even asked the question. "Are you sure you want to be alone tonight? I can stay if you want." He offered. Recently she would have welcomed his concern, not now. She felt confused, angry, frightened as she'd faced death's calling once again. Another threat to end her life too soon before she had a chance to live a normal life. Opening the door she stopped and spoke not turning around. "I don't want you here Mulder, I'd rather you go home. I'm exhausted........" Her voice trailed off as she felt her emotions rise and a lump form in her throat. "I just want to make sure you're okay." His soft soothing voice caused her emotions to crack another inch. She had to get away from him. Seek consolation within herself. Safe. Uncomplicated. Trusting. Scully felt she couldn't trust him with her innermost fears and sadness. Not after..... Closing her eyes she swallowed before answering him. "Mulder, I'm...... fine." He knew she wasn't. She knew she wasn't, but how could he collapse the steel barrier between them? He sighed. God she was stubborn. He heard the lock click, turning the door handle she paused. "I'll talk to you later." She picked up her bag , and pushed the door inward all the while torn by her need for him to leave and desire for him to stay. Scully hated feeling so weak once again, maybe she would call Karen Kosseff, and make an appointment. It' had helped before when she needed someone to talk to. Then there was her mother. But she didn't want to hear her mother telling her she was overreacting again. She sighed aloud. It wasn't Mulder causing her sadness, well not all of it. She needed to break away from the dark life she'd led for too long. The world would have to save itself for all she cared at that moment. Wearily she crossed the threshold of her apartment and dropped her bag against the wall. Not wanting to look back and possibly catching Mulder's gaze, she kicked the door with her foot. It didn't shut. Sighing heavily she turned around, and Mulder stood in the doorway glaring at her. "I'm not leaving until you allow me the opportunity to tell you why........ what happened." The pleading face wasn't working on her tonight. She narrowed her eyes. "Mulder, I'm in no mood for your lengthy explanations, and I really don't want to hear this tonight. Besides I've already told you that what you do.........." He stepped toward her cutting her off. "Just let me explain, okay?" His voice grew louder with frustration. She wanted to stomp up and down, and tell him to leave. She didn't want to cover this ground. But on a deeper level she did want to know why. As much as she hated to admit it to herself she needed to know. Turning and making her way slowly across her living room floor , she through her hands up in exasperation. "Fine. you can explain while I change. But Mulder, don't expect too much." Her voice was cool and level as she moved the rest of the way towards her bedroom and closed the door half way. "Talk Mulder." Her muffled voice gave him an inkling of hope. He walked her door and leaned against the wall. He needed all the support he could get this wasn't something he'd wanted to face or talk about for a long time. "When I left Oxford I came home full of sadness. Phoebe...... well you know what she did." He knew she didn't want to hear the story of Phoebe again., and he didn't want to tell it. It was just another failure in a long string of poor emotional investments. "I grew up with Haley. When I came back to the Vineyard she came to a dinner party my mother had." He paused for a moment listening for movement through the door. The temptation to peek into her room was overwhelming, but he couldn't risk her anger or the possibly of her throwing him out. He continued. "Haley was everything Phoebe wasn't. I thought I could make up for every failure and disappointment I'd caused my family by marrying her." He thought for moment, this wasn't going very well. "I convinced myself she was everything a wife should be. Kind, loving, family oriented. I loved being apart of her family. A real family." He sounded pathetic , even to his own ears. "We eloped right after I finished at Quantico. We were happy. She was fragile, like my mother. I felt needed. Wanted. I was a protector. Something I'd failed to do with Samantha." He paused again. "Scully?" "I'm listening Mulder." Her voice was soft through the solid door. What could she be doing? Maybe she didn't want to face him. Sighing to himself he started again. "I began to leave her at home alone. You know what it's like. I'd be called out of town, or just end up working late. She hated being alone. Then one night I got called out to a crime scene. It was out of town and I was gone all night. It was a case we'd been working on for weeks I had to go despite her protests. She'd gone out for a walk after I left and was attacked on her way back to our apartment building. When I arrived at home, her family had already beaten me there. They took turns telling me what failure as a husband I had been. They threatened to take her away from me if I didn't take better care of her." The stinging memory of their words still hurt him. He paused for a moment swallowing the lump in his throat. "I stayed close to home for the next few weeks, determined that I could make it up to her. But she withdrew from me little by little. One day, I found her bags by the door when I arrived home. Her sister picked her up and she divorced me a month later." He shifted on his feet the uncomfortable silence was unnerving. "I felt...... abandoned. Alone. A failure once again. I buried it deep inside me, and then went crazy. I worked nonstop on every case they would give me. No matter how much information flooded my mind, I couldn't shake the sadness that weighed on my heart." He felt the pain in his chest and breathed deeply to calm the anxiety he felt. "I wouldn't allow anyone to speak of her again, erecting a shrine in my mind and heart to her. I even removed all reference to her in my FBI files. As far as everyone was concerned, she and our marriage never existed." Leaning his head on the wall trying to feel closer to his touchstone on the other side he continued. "After a while the pain dulled. Then Diana came into my life. I knew her from the Academy. She was intelligent and shared my interest in my new found focus. The X- Files. We became...... close. In the end......" Mulder knew Scully didn't want to hear about his failed relationships. He waited a moment to hear a response. Nothing. He couldn't stopped himself he turned and looked in the room. Scully sat on her bed staring at the floor, the sad, weary look displayed on her face pained him to the core. He moved in front of her and knelt for eye to eye contact. She remained unmoving, trance like... Unable to look him in the eyes she stared at her hands fidgeting slightly. "I understand your pain Mulder. And in an odd way, I understand how you would bury this inside you." Her voice was quiet and flat. "But it doesn't explain why I found you......" She rose needing to put space between them. He allowed her the space. As she moved to the window and stared out at the light smatter of rain that had begun to fall. "Mulder, you are the most complicated man I've ever known." Her back was to him. "It's none of my business why you chose not to tell me about her. I guess there was no need. But......" She took a deep breath. "It didn't soften the blow of finding you there, with her. I know we're not a couple. We're ... We're. I don't know how to describe what we are..." He tried to speak but she held up her hand to stop him without turning around. "But I thought I meant more to you Mulder. Honestly, after your words in the hallway of your apartment I thought we were more than............" She paused. "Than just friends. Not lovers or anything like that, but we share a bond, it's something strong. And I though you trusted me and that I could do the same with you. But you ran off, and ditched me again. People who care about each other shouldn't do that . You gave me no reasonable explanation other than an I'll tell you when I get back - maybe. " She turned around to look at him for the first time since arriving at the apartment. "Did what you said in the hallway mean anything to you? Did it have one ounce of truth to it? Or was it just a Mulder, Psychologist, maneuver to keep me from leaving? To keep me following you in your crazy pursuits or hunches?" He noticed the sarcasm in her voice. She stopped him again as he opened his mouth to speak. "Look, I'm tired and feel like shit. I need to sleep and recover from my latest brush with death. If you don't mind, I'll ask you to let yourself out. Thank you for explaining what happened." Mulder didn't realize his heart could ache more than it already did. He reached for her as she brushed by him grasping her wrist. "Scully....." She whirled around jerking her hand away. "What Mulder? What do you want from me?" Her voice laced with anger. Mulder flinched and rose slowly then sighed as he gathered his thoughts. "Scully I realized, maybe too late, that Haley isn't what I want. I can't apologize enough for what happened. I don't even understand it myself. It was....... like....." He didn't know how to explain it. "Mulder, don't try to explain you being attracted to another leggy brunette. Whether she be your ex-wife or whomever, it doesn't concern me anymore..." He interrupted moving closer. "But it does. I care for you. You're as involved in my life as I am in yours. I want to let go of these ghosts that I have buried deep inside me for so long. You have helped exorcise these demons in me one by one. It's our quest, our search. I made a mistake, and I know I hurt you. I am sorry. But I swear to you, as I said before, I need you, you make me whole....." She felt her resolve crack, and stopped him from continuing. "Mulder, I know you care for me, but this can't be all there is. There has to be more somewhere. This is my life." She waved her arms at her surroundings. "I come home to an empty house. I eat a solidary dinner almost every evening. I live in the shadows, Mulder, barely eeking out anything more than a purely superficial and empty life. I need to reexamine all of this. I have to think about how many times I'm going to put my life on the line for this. " Her voice became soft as her eyes dropped. Dana Scully wasn't a woman to reveal her vulnerability. "You don't have to be alone Dana....." Mulder moved a step closer hoping he could comfort her. She backed up as she huffed a breath and her lips tightened as she shook her head. "Mulder I'm not your needy ex-wife or ......." When she looked up his eyes were narrowed in anger. "Maybe it would improve your attitude if you did admit that you need someone. " He wanted to shake her. To make her want and need him, instead he tried to bargain. "It's wonderful to know someone needs you, wants you to be their strength. Sharing each other's strengths as well as vulnerabilities, is an integral part of any relationship. Haley... Haley may have been needy, I don't deny that, but she also made me feel like I was important when she leaned on me for strength. It's something you ought to try Dana. You might enjoy it. You don't have to be a martyr......" His voice laced with frustration at trying to make the woman before him understand he wanted to share that type of closeness. She was harder to break than any perp he'd ever interrogated. "I'm not a martyr, Mulder. Just because I don't sit there sniveling in a corner waiting for some man to come in and save the day for me, or open up and sleep with every man I meet... ........" Her anger grew as she spoke, and she wanted to slap him. Mulder nodded his head as if finally understanding something, "Maybe you should try it Scully, you might like it.. I'm sure you can find another candidate at the tattoo parlor. I finally got it. You don't want to allow anyone to get close to you. One night stands are more your flavor, aren't they? That way no one will have time to break through your icy facade? His sarcastic voice made her snap. She slapped his face as a reflex. They both stared at each other in shock. "Get the hell out of here." She screamed at him. Knowing he'd completely blown it he stepped closer, apologetic and trying to make amends. When would he ever learn to keep his mouth in check? "I'm sorry Dana," Mulder reached for her face with his hand, Scully merely looked into his eyes with a blank stare, then turned and walked into the bathroom closing the door. When Mulder heard the lock click he knew she had locked him out, possibly for good. He dropped his head and sighed heavily, his thoughts teetering precariously between breaking the door down, or leaving? If he could only make her understand that he loved her, why was it so hard to make her understand that she didn't have to be alone any more? He moved to the bathroom door. "Scully..... Dana, why is this so hard? We know each other so well. This relationship shouldn't be so difficult?" He didn't here a sound from the other side. "I'm sorry. I lost my temper. You frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. I didn't mean what I said. I know you're not cold and I know you're not the type for one night stands." He paused to gather his thoughts. "Can't you need me as much as I need you?" He could see this wasn't working. Maybe the straightforward approach was his last hope. "I....... I love you. I couldn't tell you about Haley because I was terrified that you'd think I'm a failure at all relationships." Mulder hoped the words would cause a reaction from her, but silence surrounded them like a tomb. Behind the door Scully silently wept sitting on the floor leaning against the door. Had she heard the words correctly? Did he just say he loved her? Did he say he needed her, that he wanted her to need him as much as he needed her? God was he so blind as not to see she needed him, too. She wanted him, and had loved him for such a long time. The tears streamed down her face remembering the beautiful woman who'd shared his body with him, how could you love someone and do that, how could you say you love someone and then run off with a few hastily uttered words. Her parents taught her when you love someone, no one, and nothing could shake that love. No ex-wife, long sea travel, nothing came between her parents. But then again Mulder didn't grow up as she had with a secure family unit. If she did take the chance and forgive him, would she have to worry every time a wrinkle formed in their union? A sick feeling of doubt and insecurity flooded through her. She felt as threatened as the first time she'd met Diana Fowley. Diana waltzed into their lives with her intentions displayed for all to see. She wanted a place in the x-files and had her sights set for Fox Mulder. Dana remembered passing the windowed door where Mulder and Diana were holding hands during the Gibson case. Then after his confession in the hallway of his apartment, she felt reassured that they shared a real partnership. His words left her feeling as thought there was nothing that could tear them apart. Shaking her head and wiping her tears, Dana sighed as she rose on trembling legs. "Dana? Are you okay in there?" Mulder's muffled voice, thick with fear, sounded through the door. "I'm fine." She tried to sound convincing to herself as well as the man on the other side of the wooden door. "Can you leave Mulder, I need to be alone." She pleaded with him. "I've heard what you said....." Her voice faltered. Breathing deeply she hoped he would just go. "Let me call your mother. You don't........" He didn't want her to be alone after the events of the last 24 hours. "Mulder, I don't need you mothering me." She knew as it left her mouth it was the wrong thing to say. Sighing, Mulder leaned his head on the door. "That's what I'm trying to make you understand, you think you don't need anyone, Scully." He paused. "But everyone needs someone. Why can't you allow yourself to need me, anyone, but especially me? Don't you think it's time that you allowed yourself to share your fears, your hopes, and vulnerability? Mulder's voice sounded lost and sad. Silent tears were falling again as Dana listened to Mulder's tender words. She reached for the door, but her mind wouldn't allow her hand to turn the handle. Why? Was her pride worth losing the man she loved? Was the picture in her mind stamped forever on her brain and the hurt to severe? She wanted to tell him that she needed him. She had needed him for a long time in her personal life not just professional. Dana needed him to know she wasn't always the strong person he thought, that she felt alone, helpless, and scared sometimes. That there were times she would have died just to feel his touch, or to have him truly hold her. Just as her brain gave permission to her hand, she heard the door close and knew she'd lost her chance to tell him. Dana closed her eyes and cursed herself silently for being so weak. Taking a deep breath to steady her emotions, she opened the door half hoping he would still be waiting on the other side. But Mulder wasn't waiting, he had left without another word. Dana sat for over an hour in the darkness of her apartment., numbed by the events life had jokingly thrown her way. She looked at the illuminated clock over the mantel. It was too late to call the bureau for someone to talk to. Thinking again, she reached for the phone. and hit auto dial. "Hi Mom?" Dana listened. "Yes, I'm fine, no, Mulder's okay. Listen Mom. Can I come over? I know it's late but......." She smiled sadly as her mother assured her she wasn't going to bed anytime soon. "I'll see you in about an hour." Dana put down the phone and lifted herself off the sofa. If anyone knew how to untangle the mess inside her head, it was her mother. XXXXXXXXXXXX Dana pulled into her mother's driveway. She'd thought continuously about what she'd tell her mother. Should she share all she felt or just the facts about Mulder and his latest escapade? She walked wearily up the steps to her mother's front door, and adjusted her track pants. Her legs and feet were still more than a little tender, so she'd chosen loose flats and pants for comfort and to hide the bandages from her mother. Ringing the doorbell she waited for the porch light to click on. "Hey Mom." Dana hugged her mother as she entered the foyer. It felt good to have the safe, and loving arms of her mother around her. "It's late." She whispered into her mother's shoulder. "Maybe we should talk tomorrow." "Nonsense." Margaret Scully interrupted her. "Let's go get some thing to drink." She led the way into the large family kitchen. The warmth and security of the room radiated, reminding Scully of some of the more treasured moments they'd shared there. It was her family's most important part of the house. So many problems, and dreams had been shared at the table or lounging around the counter. Bill had announced his wedding plans one night while Dana and her mom had been doing the dishes after a Thanksgiving supper. Dana felt at ease here, like nothing could touch her or harm her as long as she was surrounded by so many wonderful memories. "Cocoa, or...?" Her mother reached into the fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of white wine. 'Something stronger?" Dana was rather surprised at her mother. "Yeah, sure." She took a seat at the table as her mother moved around. "I thought this would make it easier to spill your guts." Her mother teased. Dana's eyes widened and her mouth opened to counter her mother's accusation. But how could she? That was exactly why she was here. "Am I that transparent?" She asked as her mother set a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. "A mother knows dear. I could tell by the tone of your voice on the phone that there was something seriously wrong." She poured both glasses full of the liquid. Dana picked up her glass and took a healthy sip from it. The cool fruity liquid slid perfectly down her throat and pooled in her stomach. She could already feel the mental warmth it provided, and her tension began to ease. "Just what the doctor ordered?" Margaret Scully eyed her daughter patiently as Dana took a couple more sips, and then nodded. "Before our office burned, Mulder had an acquaintance reappear in his life" Dana stared at the wall opposite where she sat. "I felt pretty sure no one could come between us. I mean there wasn't any written agreement, but I thought that we had a strong partnership." This wasn't beginning the way she'd hoped. "Her name is Diana Fowely." She took another sip. It was much easier to pour your heart out with the wine dulling the ache, in her chest. "Diana was an old acquaintance." Dana took a deep breath. "No, she was a former lover of Mulder's." She took another drink of wine. "Did Fox tell you this for fact?" Margaret studied her daughter's tightly held features of pain and sadness. "No, not at the time, but some friends of Mulder's told me she was his *chickadee from the academy*." She looked at her mother. Margaret nodded as she took another sip of her wine. "Anyway, Mulder wouldn't tell me anything about their relationship, but it didn't take much effort to put two and two together from vague answers they supplied me with." She faltered and took a deep breath followed by another sip. "You should have seen them, mom. They interacted so easily. It was very clear that they had been extremely close. Then one day, I found them holding hands and staring into each other's eyes like long lost lovers." Dana took another sip. "Oh Dana." Her mother reached across the table and squeezed her daughter's hand. Dana shook her head. "No, I kept my cool Mom. I walked away before they caught sight of me and kept going on things were business as usual. I sat in my car for a few minutes trying to sort out the feelings I was experiencing." She took another drink. It was becoming easier to talk with each numbing mouthful. "I felt so .. I don't know... You see she's so much like Mulder. She believes like he does." Dana chuckled. "She agrees with him much more than I ever have. She makes it easy for him. Supports him, in a way I simply can't." Looking at her empty glass, she reached for the bottled and filled it again. "I hated myself for feeling so jealous, at the time. I was like some floundering female wanting to guard her territory." She stared at the thick yellow liquid in her glass. "You know where Mulder is concerned I've always tried to keep my personal feelings at a distance." "Dana, feelings are natural. The idea is to go with them, enjoy them and learn from them. That's why God gave us emotions to begin with." Her mother assured her, knowing it was difficult for her daughter to expose the insecurities and vulnerabilities that most women recognize as commonplace. Dana's mouth turned up into a tight smile. "I'm not your normal female am I Mom?" Margaret let out a chuckle herself. "But you are honey. No matter how you try to pretend that you are above the simple emotions everyone of us possesses, you are a woman." Her mother's words were only above whisper. Dana nodded her head. It was becoming a bit difficult to hide her sadness as the wine worked on her stoic attitude. "I was surprised when Mulder didn't run to her side when she was shot. He never acknowledged their past relationship to me even after the fire. She recovered, he visited her a couple of times, at least that I know of, but he didn't act as if she was an important part of his life anymore." She took another sip. "Mulder is such a complicated man. I think I have him figured out, then he unfolds another petal. " Her mother looked at her with a quizzical look. Dana smiled. "On a case we were on..... Well, Mulder was on. I told him he kept unfolding like a flower." She suddenly frowned thinking of Phoebe Green and the kiss they had shared in the hallway of the hotel that she had to witness. Her mother noticed the frown. "Another unhappy thought Dana?" Dana nodded her head and took another deep breath. "Anyway, after the office burned and we were reassigned it seemed like we were becoming friends all over again. The pressure of the X-files didn't loom around us as much as before. I could tell Mulder was bored, but we took our assignments seriously." She sighed. "Then they dropped bomb. Someone set us up to take the fall for something we had no part of and they decided to split us up by assigning me to an office out of Utah. It was the perpetual nail in the coffin for our partnership." Dana took a large gulp before she began the rest of the story. She hadn't told her mother of this yet. "When they told me I would be reassigned, I went to tell Mulder that I had resigned. I didn't want to work for the bureau if they wouldn't allow us to work together. " She stared at the patterned wallpaper remembering his exact words. "I told him I held him back and that he would be fine on his own. It almost killed me to walk out his door. When he ran after me and told me I was the one who kept him honest and that he didn't think he could continue without me, or that he wanted to." Dana looked at her mother. "He told me he owed me everything and I owed him nothing." She felt a lump in her throat. "Sounds like a confession of love to me Dana." Her mother smiled as Dana stiffened in her chair. "Well, the confession was only the beginning. He reached for me and pulled me closer as if her were going to kiss me." "And?" Her mother asked. "A bee stung me and I ended up in Antarctica almost frozen to death." She looked at her mother. "I haven't told you all the sorted details, it's classified." Dana took another sip. Margaret Scully stared at her only daughter in horror and disbelief. Dana shook her head and squeezed her mother's hand. "I'm fine, really! I just can't talk about it." Looking less than pleased Dana's mother nodded. "After everything was straightened out and the X- files were opened again, it was business again as usual. We never discussed the almost kiss in the hallway of his apartment building." She was interrupted by her mother shaking her head. "What?" "For two people as intelligent as you two are, you can both be dumber than dumb." Dana's mouth fell open as her mother wiped her eye where a tear had escaped. "I'm sorry honey, but you two have such tightly held emotions. You are both so afraid your private lives will interrupt your professional lives that you lock out so much joy that's only an admission away. It's no wonder you are both lonely." Dana pondered these words for a moment, then opened her mouth and hesitated before she closed it again. "That's why I'm here Mom. I want to know how to need someone. I have always tried to be so self sufficient, which is partly because I am afraid to allow anyone to get too close to me. It only hurts in the end if you lose them. " She hesitated a moment remembering the sadness of Emily. "But you know , after the cancer, and after Emily came into my life, I realized I do need someone in my life. For the short time she was with me she filled a void I never new existed. I want to feel that way again, and Mulder does that for me right now, on a limited scale. Sometimes I think that if I could just let go, and tell him how I feel... " She shook her head and rose from the table. "I just.... I'm so scared. Almost everyone I have ever loved has left me. Look at dad, Melissa, and Emily..." She moved to stare out the back window. Margaret felt the pain of her daughter's loss and the confusion she was suffering through., and reached for her daughter's hand. "I feel so messed up some times, Mom..." Tears were welling up in her eyes. "What if I allow myself to love him, and he leaves or does something foolish and gets himself killed." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she focused on the trees in the back yard. Margaret wanted to enfold her daughter into her arms and protect her from this pain, but knew that would defeat the purpose of Dana's visit. She had to allow her emotions out and if it was through this type of pain, then so be it. Margaret waited until Dana gathered her strength "I hate this.. I hate being afraid." Dana turned around and looked at her mother. The alcohol had loosened the foundations of her emotional wall, and the tear s began to flow. Margaret couldn't stop herself from moving to her daughter. "Oh Dana, it's completely normal to need others. Dying is a natural part of living. You can't shut yourself off from feeling, Dana. Loving and hurting are different sides of the same coin. " She hugged Dana as she ran a comforting hand over her sobbing daughter's hair trying to heal the hurt as only a mother could. Dana stood there for a few minutes relishing enjoying the solace. Then Margaret pulled away and went over to the cupboard. "Would you like some cocoa now ,honey?? " "No thanks.." She pulled herself together, and moved back to her seat again ready to continue. Picking up her almost empty glass, she took the last sip of wine and found her courage again. "After our office was refurbished, everything seemed to be back to normal. We connected again. The closeness came back between us that had been missing for so long was back. On one of our cases, I bet Mulder that he was chasing something that was a waste of time." It brought a bit of a smile to Dana remembering the bet that seemed years ago. "The bet was my way of breaking the wall that had built up between us again. Between our emotions I mean, not our partnership." Dana tucked lock of stray hair behind her ear. "We were set to spend the weekend together. I had hoped it would afford us the opportunity to talk about what had almost transpired. I thought if I could convince Mulder to put aside his hunt for the truth for a few hours, maybe we'd be able to relax and......" She didn't continue feeling embarrassed with her intimate thoughts. "You were hoping he would finish the kiss right Dana?" Margaret Scully smiled at her daughter and put the kettle on the stove. She wondered how they had hidden these feelings from each other for so long. Wanting to laugh at the sight of them tearing into each other like they were starving to death made her suddenly miss her precious Bill again. Putting aside her pain, she focused on Dana. "Well....... I uhm...... She smiled. "Yeah, I guess that's what I was hoping. I sometimes feel like I'm going to explode when I'm around him. There are days I just want him so badly." She stopped abruptly at her confession. Margaret knew it was the wine loosing her daughter's tongue. She wanted her to feel at ease. "I know how you feel honey." Their eyes met and she felt the loss of her father, not only as a parent, but as her mother's husband. "Oh Mom, I'm so sorry." Margaret shook her head. "Don't be Dana. I have many wonderful memories of your father." They were silent for a few moments as they remembered the man they both loved. "We were finishing up paperwork on the case last week and they phone rang. Mulder was summoned to Skinner's office. He disappeared. I found a note when I returned to the office that told me he was taking a case and requested I not join him." "I remember, you told me about it." Dana nodded. "When I left your house the last time, Skinner called and summoned me to Boston to do an autopsy on a murder victim. I rushed home and then had to run to the office before I had to catch my plane. When I went to the basement, I found an envelope addressed to Mulder. It was supposed to be sent to him via an agent in Boston, so I took it with me thinking I could drop it off at the field office for him." She reached for the bottle of wine again, needing to dull more of the heartache the next part of her story would bring. "I tried to drop the envelope off at the field office, but it was closed. So I ventured to the island and thought I'd drop it off and leave." Her mother's brow lifted. "Okay, I was hoping to talk over the case with him." Caught at her own game of denial Dana studied the table top. Her mother's brow smoothed out. "When I arrived at his father's house, I was met at the door by this woman. She was beautiful mom. Tall, thin, long brown hair, Just the way Mulder likes them." She took a large gulp of wine the sensation now doing little to assuage the pain. She was wearing Mulder's shirt." Margaret gasped. Dana looked up to see her eyes large and dark. "Needless to say, I was hurt... Really... hurt." She felt tears resurfacing. "I thought we were on the verge of becoming closer and I find him post coitus." She stopped. A solid lump was forming in her stomach. Margaret remained silent. "I should have known not......." The tears began again. Margaret reached for her daughter's hand. Her heart was breaking at the pain her daughter was feeling. "Then, I was kidnapped.. And well everything is okay... I got away..." "Kidnapped??" Margaret didn't know if she wanted to hear another story about her daughter being in danger. Why couldn't she just practice medicine and marry a pediatrician? She sighed inwardly knowing that that wasn't who her daughter was. Yet, she could hope couldn't she? "Who was she Dana?" Dana wiped her eyes with a tissue her mother handed her. "She was Mulder's ex-wife." Margaret gasped loudly enough for Dana to hear. "My thoughts exactly." "When? You didn't know about this either?" Margaret asked. "No, not a word. He has so many facets, so many secrets. I thought he shared himself with me but I realized that there are sides to him that I don't even know about. It's so tiring, sometimes." She sighed and rose from her chair and padded over to the cabinet . Pulling out a glass she filled it, and took a mouthful. She needed some water to wash down the dry lump in her throat. Drinking the rest of it quickly she moved back to the table. "So have you talked to him about what happened?" Margaret forged ahead. "I wasn't in the mood for explanations Mom. He was cruel to me. Yelled at me for invading his lair, so to speak." "Feeling guilty huh?" "I guess." Dana took a sip of water and wiped her eyes again. "He tried to explain, he told me about Haley. That's her name, Haley." She added it to her ever growing list of names she didn't care for along. That mad five so far, she rhymed them off ;Phoebe, Bambi, Detective White, Diana and now Haley. "He told me he didn't tell me about Haley because he was afraid I'd think he was a total failure at relationships." She looked into her mother's eyes. "He said he slept with her because she needed him. That I don't act like I need him, and he seems to believe......" She shook her head. "I don't know what he thinks." Dana cradled her head in her hands staring at the table. "So Fox tried to explain, and you wouldn't allow yourself to forgive him? Right?" Dana nodded her head. "Sort of.." "So is that it? You're just throwing away over five years of growing together because of one indiscretion from a scarred lonely man?" Dana's head snapped up. "Mom, he slept with a woman that broke his heart, then yelled at me for it. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here." Dana rose again and moved to the window again. "I've pulled his ass out so many predicaments I've lost count. I've proven to him time and time again that I'm on his side. I've shown him for the past years that I love him by sticking with him, and believing in him. Why do I feel you're blaming me for this?" Dana ran her hand through her hair and stared out at the night. She'd come here for comfort. Now her mother was betraying her too. She wanted to gather her things and run as far away from everyone as she could at that moment. Margaret knew she'd touched a very sore spot. She rushed to Dana's side. "Honey, I'm not blaming you. Fox was wrong for what he did. I'd have to hear his side of the story, but I think he told you the problem. He needs you to need him. And it's not really the need at all but the trust that you would be showing him if you were to allow him to see your vulnerabilities. That's very important to a man and a woman." She knew it was time for a confession of her own. "Dana let's go into the den, I need to tell you a story." Leaving the empty bottle of wine on the table they walked silently into the den and seated themselves on the sofa. Margaret could see the tension in Dana's shoulders and knew it was time to defuse some of her rampant thoughts. "Before your father and I were married he had a long sea duty facing him. We'd planned to marry as soon as he returned. I loved your father with all my heart. I wasn't looking forward to the long separation knowing what I did about the islands they would visit. I'd heard stories of women wanting to escape the small islands by seducing lonely service men hoping to lure them into marrying them so they could escape the boundaries the small islands." She hoped this wouldn't tarnish Dana's memory of her father. "He was gone for a long time. We wrote each other religiously, but it was difficult to court each other from long distance." She sighed remembering the lonely time. "Anyway his tour of duty was extended for another three months after he'd been gone for six already. I was growing impatient, but cherished every word I received from him. I could tell the separation was wearing on him as he told stories about the men on board becoming irritated being away from heir wives, girlfriends for so long. But I believed my Bill would be strong. I never doubted his love for me." Margaret paused again feeling an old pain, long buried. "Mom, what happened?" Dana put her hand on Margaret's. "I didn't hear from your father for a month. I wrote on a regular basis, but no answers came. I was beginning to panic. I called the base, but they could only tell me he was not in any danger, but that was all. Finally the day came when I received a letter. He wrote a short, rambling letter about where they had been, etc. I could tell there was something wrong. He didn't mention why he hadn't written and I was so thrilled after reading that he was finally coming home, that I put it out of my head." Margaret smiled at her remembrance. "I was so excited the day he came off that ramp. I ran up to him and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him repeatedly making sure he really was there, and I that wasn't dreaming." The smile vanished. "I could tell something wasn't exactly right with his embrace, but I thought maybe he was trying to hold onto his professionalism in front of his mates. We went home and for the next few weeks everything seemed to be back to normal. Then came the day we were to marry. He came to my house that morning at 6:00, and confessed to me he'd had a......" She paused. "They had been close to some fighting and to make a long story short, he had a brief fling with one of the survivors." She waited for Dana's reaction. "Mom." Dana gasped. Not her father, Captain Bill Scully the man she'd thought was perfect in every way. She felt a knot form in her stomach. "Now Dana, let me finish. Your father told me the whole sordid story. I sat there patiently for him to finish. I was shocked. Numb. Brokenhearted. I felt betrayed. My heart was broken on my wedding day. I walked away from him as he sat in my living room. He followed me and turned me around to face him. He told me he loved me and that he'd never do anything to hurt me again. My mind whirled with emotions. I was totally confused. Could I trust him, again? Did I love him enough to allow myself to take a chance with him after what he'd done?" Silence rained over the room. Margaret waited for Dana to process the information she had just related to her. "What happened then?" Dana asked. Margaret smiled a tender smile. "You're here aren't you?" Dana grinned. "I thought about it and talked to my mother. I almost backed out of the wedding only hours before it took place. My mother helped me make the decision to take a chance on your father. If he hadn't been an honorable man, he would have told me after the wedding, or not at all. I'm not excusing him for what happened. But he told me that loneliness and the pull of being needed over took his common sense. It took me years to fully trust him when he went out on maneuvers. To ease my mind, he took a different command that would ensure he wouldn't have to be away from us for long spans of time again." She squeezed Dana's hand. "The question is, do you love Fox enough to forgive him and allow yourself to need him?" Dana remained silent. Margaret knew they were both becoming weary with the late hour. "Dana, let's get some sleep and we can talk more in the morning." She rose and bent over kissing Dana lightly on the cheek. "I'm glad I took another chance to love Bill Scully. He was a good man." She walked toward the stairs. Lost in her own thoughts she spoke them out loud. "If I forgive him, how can I be sure I can trust him in the future?" Dana looked up as her mother turned around. "We learned to talk to each other. From the day we were married there was always open communication between us, no secrets. There wasn't anything we couldn't discuss." She smiled. "Communication is what a relationship and marriage are based on. It's just as important as love Dana. You have to have openness, trust, and be willing to accept the person you're committed to, as they are. " Her smile turned into a frown. "You and Fox don't talk to each other do you?" She waited for a reply. Dana simply shook her head. Margaret turned again to the stairs. "Thanks Mom." Dana said softly. Her mother turned with a smile again on her face. "Anytime honey, that's what mom's are for." She climbed the stairs leaving Dana with her thoughts. Scully sat in silence for several minutes her mind winding down from being overtaxed. With a deep exhausted sigh, she rose and slowly climbed the stairs, willing Fox Mulder and the world to let her sleep for once. As she climbed the stairs her eyes scanned the pictures of the years gone by . She felt safe here in her home away from home. Dana hoped that safe feeling would yield her a night without nightmares. XXXXXXXXX 6:00am Margaret Scully's Home Scully's eyes moved rapidly back and forth under her eyelids. Lost in a deep sleep her was psyche trapped in the thick of a nightmare surrounded by horrors from her past. Alone and fearful she fought. She could slay these demons, Couldn't she?? She didn't need anyone's help, did she? "Fight Dana." She told herself unconsciously. "You don't need anyone to fight your battles." Her logical thoughts were interrupted by a vision. She couldn't see who, but someone reached out her from the blackness. The image was obscure yet some how comforting and caring. "You don't have to be alone, it's okay to need someone." Scully tried to move her mind beyond the terror filled images plaguing. Seeking the calm voice just beyond her reach. The vision grew brighter, and then faded again, why couldn't she see who it was. If she could just capture the vision maybe she would be free from this nightmare. Again horribly marred faces from her past invaded her vision. She couldn't go anywhere, no matter how hard she shoved pushed and fought to break free, moving beyond it was impossible. The more she struggled the more ensnared she became. Just ahead the soft voice grew more faint as it repeated. "Dana, just reach out, I'm here." But the faces and the other chaotic voices were too strong. "I can't." She said with her desperation growing, and her determination waning. She was too tired to fight what seemed to be her fate. Scully felt herself collapsing under the weight of her burdens and she began to sob. "I can't do this on my own. I need help. There's too much sorrow. I can't hide it from myself anymore." Shame washed over her at the acceptance her weakness. The control she'd coveted so long dissolved. Years of holding in her fears, disappointments, failures. Dana Scully realized she wasn't able to withstand the solidarity of being an island any longer. Her feelings, though well hidden, had surfaced. Her tears streaked her face as she gasped between the sobs wracking her body. She felt as if she were dying in her own prison surrounded by pain and suffering. Suddenly the voice grew louder and the air eased around her. The fear seemed lessened by the presence. She looked up and breathed the word she knew would save her. "Mulder." Scully woke with a start, and a scream caught in her throat as she realized where she was. Looking around her old room she relaxed into it's familiarity. It was just a dream she whispered to herself, no frightening faces, no fear. Yet it's residue had left her more than shaken. Leaning back into her pillows she caught the first flashes of daylight peeking under the window shade. Twisting her head around, she looked at the clock - 6:30 am. Sighing, she raised her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "What a bizarre dream." She said to herself. Sighing Scully threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. Her sleep was gone for the day . Moving slowly down the stairs Dana yawned, and rubbed her eyes. A warmth washed over her and she smiled. The path she was taking was innately familiar. Many mornings through out her youth her and her siblings would stumble into the kitchen for breakfast with the family. A pang of sadness made her heart clench as she remembered family members who wouldn't be at the table. She stopped in the middle of the stairs looking at the family pictures . Their content ranging from Scully as an infant right up to the last one taken right before Melissa decided to disappear for a few years. Scully touched the happy pictures, and remembered laughter during the photo session, Bill had been trying to look so proper in his uniform and Melissa had scoffed at his arrogance. Through her entire childhood Scully had been caught in the middle of her brother and sister. As she touched the picture tracing the frame as if she could feel the love from the close-knit family that once existed here. Her mother just entering the foyer from the kitchen caught sight of her. "Sometimes I sit on the stairs and stare at the pictures. It brings comfort to me remembering the happy times we shared." Her voice was soft. Scully looked toward her mother as she dropped her hand from the picture, "You miss him a lot don't you?" Scully took a couple of steps down the stairway. "Everyday." Margaret answered. A moment of silence passed between them. Margaret didn't want to start the day in a blue mood. "Would you like some coffee?" Scully noticed the warm smile hiding the lonely woman of a moment ago. "I'd love some," Scully answered allowing the memories to remain in the background. She had enough sadness in her life at the moment to add additional grief. "How about one of your famous omelets?" Scully asked as they made their way to the kitchen. XXXXXXXXXX After a large breakfast only a mother could make, Scully went up stairs to shower and dress for the day. She'd just finished slipping into her blue jeans and soft cotton sweater when the familiar shrill of her cell phone, broke the relative quiet of her room. Thinking it was Mulder, she stared at the phone a moment, unsure of what she should do. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet. She needed a little more time and some space to sort out all the confusion in her head. Picking up the device she fingered the send button an extra moment before finally depressing it. She tentatively brought it to her ear... "Scully." "Agent Scully." She let out a breath of relief at the sound of the voice on the other end. "I'm not interrupting your day am I?" "No Sir. What can I do for you?" She waited for his response. "I know you've been through an ordeal." He sounded more than hesitant. He was almost regretful. He didn't know the half of it. She'd told him only what was absolutely necessary. The assault , the way the sicko had touched her and fondled here was something she'd kept secret even from Mulder. The scratches and cuts on her legs were healing nicely. She'd taken he bandages of this morning in the bathroom and left them open to the air so they could dry and scab. It was still a little painful walking but for the most part everything was fine, except for one gash on her back that still throbbed. "I'm fine Sir." "I hope you are. I have a favor to ask of you." A sense of dread shifted through her. Scully wasn't ready for an X-file just yet, an x-file would mean Mulder.. "Since I know you won't take any time off, I've decided to give you an opportunity to put some distance between you and work for a week." His voice was more relaxed and friendly. "Sir, I can assure you I'm fine......." Scully defended herself. "I'm positive you are. This assignment is a conference between the CDC in Atlanta, several high profile American Hospitals and the military. They'll be discussing control of infectious diseases, and I'd like you to be the representative I send. I had assigned another pathologist, but he's stuck with his head in the toilet as we speak, so I though of you. It's still work but it might give you a chance at a little R&R." Skinner paused waiting for her answer. Hoping he sounded sincere and also hoping she wouldn't find out that he had actually unasked Bill Monterose. He knew by the quiver in her voice when she'd talked to him the evening before that she was in desperate need of a break. He also knew she wouldn't take one, so this was his way of making her rest, despite herself. "Where is the conference Sir? When do I have to leave?" Scully's mind was already racing ahead to what she should pack. "Charleston, South Carolina. You need to leave tonight." He looked at the brochure in front of him of the resort on the Isle of Palms. Very impressive, he thought. "I'll send the information, your ticket and brochures about the conference in a couple of hours, if that's agreeable with you." He added waiting for her reply. "Yes Sir, I'll be happy to attend the conference. Skinner noticed her voice sounded almost chipper. "Thank you Agent Scully, I'll inform Agent Mulder." "Thank you Sir." Scully felt relieved not having to interact with Mulder yet. She disconnected the phone as a smile formed on her face. She had heard about Charleston and the southern charm of the area. It might be just the perfect place for her to relax and enjoy something other than the usual workload she shared with Mulder. She speculated on why she had been Skinner's next choice. Monterose usually attended these conferences, and if he was sick Tamara Riley filled in. She wondered if he'd heard about the rape kit they'd run, or maybe he'd heard about the conflicts between she and her partner? Had Mulder requested this? Or was Skinner just trying to give her a sorely used break? Shaking her head, Scully decided not to read anything into it. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Arriving at her home in just under 2 hours, Scully had just pulled her bag out of the trunk of her car and made it to the bedroom to unpack when the doorbell rang. Making her way to the door peered out the small porthole to see a young man with a package in his hands. Slipping the lock out of it tracks she opened the door and signed for the envelope. Passing the guy a tip, she kicked the door shut behind her and walked toward her couch. Inside it was a color brochure, airline tickets and a convention badge identifying her as the FBI representative. Putting down all the items but the brochure, Scully' perused the small pamphlet, her eyes widening at the beauty of the area. The coats was rich with white sandy beaches, and Palm trees. A yatch club boasted tall sailboats and an ocean view. "Nice place." She sighed and closed her eyes her mind wandering along the shoreline. The resort looked fairly new. The caption read *recently renovated*. Flipping to the back of the brochure she noticed it was a few years old. "Must have been renovated after Hurricane Hugo." She said to herself. It had been a devastating storm that had leveled much of the area. Scully thought for a moment, was this hurricane season? She scolded herself, more learned paranoia. No, it wasn't until a month or two before threats of storms would besiege the area. The brochure also showed pictures of historic Charleston and it's southern charm. "Might be a nice change of pace." Scully reached for the airline ticket to confirm her departure time then checked her watch, and rose to go gather some fresh traveling close. On the way past it she a blinking light on her answering machine silently indicating someone had called her. Punching the button the familiar voice of her partner broke the air. "Scully, I've been called back to the Vineyard to finish up on the Falls case. Skinner tells me you're going to Charleston. Ya'll have fun." Scully smiled at his attempt at southern speech, "I'll see you when you get back. If...... if you need me, call me." She understood the meaning of his words and sighed. "I'm terrified to need you anymore than I already do. That's what you don't understand," Scully spoke to the empty room. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder arrived at his father's house mid-afternoon, he'd made an appointment to meet a real estate agent at 4:00 pm. Needing to put his past behind him and rid himself of the demons that had plagued him for years. Selling suddenly seemed like the only answer. He still had the summerhouse in Quononchontaug, and as far as places go it didn't house as many ghosts and bad memories as the house in West Tisbury did. Everywhere he turned painful recollections assaulted him. Early in his child hood they were happy enough but they became sad and scary all at once after his sister disappeared. Not to say that the family had ever been truly a happy one. All through out his childhood even from his earliest memories there had been ab uncomfortable and nerve wracking tension running just under the surface. Memories of his father's death, his less than healthy childhood, coated the house with pain much like a thick sheath of old and faded paint. Then there was Haley and their time as lovers, newlyweds and then virtual strangers. Then there was his most recent memory of Scully standing in the doorway with the stricken look on her face. How many screw-ups could one man accomplish in his short 30+ years? Mulder was convinced he'd past his allotment. A knock sounded at the door as he busied himself cleaning up the rooms before the real estate agent arrived. As he walked to the door and threw it open fully expecting the elderly sales agent he'd talked to on the phone. Instead a Doe like set of brown eyes greeted him. "Hello Fox." Haley spoke softly with a smile. Mulder felt his stomach sink remembering the last time she arrived unannounced. "Haley, I thought you'd be gone by now. " Mulder's flat voice caused Haley's smile to fade. "I wanted to talk to you, before Dad and I go on vacation, so I called your office and they told me you had to return to Boston. I took the chance you'd be here." She knew it was a weak alibi but she didn't want him to know she'd paid the neighbor $100 to call her if her returned. "It's not like my office to divulge my itinerary," Which he would check when he returned. "I...... I told them I was calling for your....... mother." Her eyes dropped to the ground feeling guilty for using his mother as an excuse. "I see. What do you want Haley?" His voice as low and fraught with dread. "Can I come in Fox?" She looked around. "I feel funny standing in the doorway." Haley's voice had taken on an almost pleading tone. Sighing Mulder stepped aside and allowed her to pass by him. Then he closed the door and leaned against it waiting for her to begin talking. Haley looked around the living room before meeting his eyes. In them she saw none of the familiar warmness, she'd come to expect.. "Fox...." She pushed her hair behind her left ear. "I wanted to thank you for helping find Jeannine's killer......" Mulder interrupted her, "I didn't find him, my partner was abducted by him and she escaped and later killed him." His tight voice made Haley nervous. Never had she seen Fox Mulder act as cold to her and it unnerved her. "She must be a strong person." Trying another tact. "Yes, she's the bravest person I know." The reference to his partner brought a warmth to his voice causing Haley to winced. This wasn't going as well as she'd hoped. "Haley I'm pretty busy here so if you have something to say......." His voice faded out as he met her pleading eyes. "What do you want from me Haley, is this another attempt to seduce me? Why are you here?" Mulder was growing agitated and impatient at her presence. A presence he craved for so many years. "Fox, I wanted to apologize for....." her voice cracked, "for all the pain I've caused you. My father told me some things. I was so blind Fox. I didn't realize I was being manipulated. I didn't see clearly as I do now." Tears streamed down her face. "But..... but when I saw you again, I knew." Mulder's eyes narrowed. "Knew what Haley?" "I knew I still loved you. I've missed you all these years. I'm so sorry I left you. I never married because somewhere in the back of my mind I always thought you'd return and take me home. Then...." She sniffed. 'Then when you were here and I needed you, it was like we'd never been apart." She moved closer to him. "We were good together Fox. Remember the way our bodies moved together the other afternoon? It was like old times. Full of passion, and love." She moved closer as her soft voice attempting to seduce him, once again. As she reached for him he grabbed her wrist. "No Haley, it wasn't like old times. It was a needy fuck that's all. You needed me and I needed to be needed by you. Plain and simple." She pulled her hand away as if burned. Her eyes flared at the rejection. This was new to her. It was something she'd never experienced from any man. "What? Is it that redhead? What does she know about you? Are you sleeping with her too?" Her sudden change in mood amused Mulder. A smirk formed on his face. "Haley you have no idea what kind of a woman Dana Scully is, nor will you ever come close to being half of the person she is." "What makes her so special Fox?" Haley's defiant voice evident by her angry features. "I trust her with my life. She's intelligent, warm and caring. She's never lied to me over the five plus years I've known her and she accepts me for who I am. I owe her my life, and stupidly I risked all that for a ghostly memory and convenient fling with you. Whom I at one time thought I DID love. But you're nothing like the woman I am in love with." Mulder no longer cared how much he hurt Haley. An uncomfortable silence passed between them. "I guess there's nothing I can say to change your mind?" Haley asked looking at her hands. "No. We're in the past Haley. If you'd stayed with me when we were married I'd still love you to this day. But....." He let out a huffed laughed. "I am glad you did what you did. If you hadn't, I would never have had the chance experience what I have with Scully." There was a conviction in Mulder's voice he hadn't heard in a while. He was free from Haley's clutches, now. He'd found true love in Dana Scully, and hoped with time she would need him as much as he needed her. "I need her Haley, like....... Like I needed you. But you walked out on me and that is something Dana has never done. No matter what has happened I could always count n her to be there for me. Except....." He stopped "Except for you indiscretion with me?" Mulder detected a slight smirk on Haley's face as he nodded. Silence rained again over the living room. "Then I guess there's nothing left to say is there?" Haley asked. "No. I guess not." He offered no additional openings for conversation, and indicated the door. It was an invitation for her to leave. Haley was no longer a haunting and shame filled memory. Haley wiped her eyes realizing she didn't have an inkling of a chance with her ex-husband. She paused at the door, on the way out. "I'm sorry Fox. Really I am." He nodded. "Take care of yourself. I hope you find happiness." Her voice was soft. "Thanks Haley, I..... I hope you're happy too." Mulder's voice was sincere. It was true. He wished her no harm and as he closed the door behind her, he felt a sense of peace flood his mind for the first time in many years. Why had he held onto the past for so long? Why did he always hold on to things unhealthy until they almost destroyed him? Mulder looked around him, just checking to see if everything was clean enough for showing. He knew the property wouldn't be on the market for very long. He'd had offers to sell it several times after his father died. The amount they would be putting it up for was more than reasonable for a home on the vineyards. No it wouldn't take long to sell at all. Mulder hadn't thought much about what he'd do with the money. Buy a house of his own? Was he being a little too confident? Maybe so he thought, but hopefully he could convince Scully he was trying to put the demons behind him, and wanted to spend his life facing the future. And he hoped that future included Dana Scully because even though she was fighting it right now , he knew they belonged together. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It had been three days since Dana arrived at the coast of South Carolina. The weather typical for summer, in Charleston. It was warm, humid, breezy but pleasant. Mornings were spent strolling on the beach, followed by a light breakfast with fellow attendees and then a four- hour lecture about new techniques in disease control. Scully smiled as she remembered the interaction period where questions were allowed, she had stumped more than one speaker with her questions and insight on some of the things she'd seen with the X-files. Staring out at the rolling waves from the comfort of her hotel room she pictured Mulder's face. He would have been amused at the sight of the gaping scientists, after she'd explained about retro-virus and how she'd saved her partner's life. They had asked her to be a key speaker at next year's conference. Mulder, just his name warmed her. Stepping out onto the balcony she absorbed the beauty of the sun slowly descending into the ocean as a late evening breeze swirled around her. She and her partner had had a few interesting conversations over the last couple of days. In the beginning, he'd made a call to her about the Jim Falls' case, or lack there be of evidence in it. The military or whatever part of the government had done a flawless job of cleaning up after themselves. The Boston office had ruled the missing body and serial related deaths closed, due to pressure being exerted by someone in Washington. Skinner was cutoff from any information, and Mulder had given up when Mr. Rehill refused to speak with him again. Shortly after he and his daughter had left on an extended vacation. The case was solved in the eyes of the local bureau and that was all that anyone cared about. The perpetrator was dead and they were satisfied. In one of the conversations her partner had asked if she wanted him to have the guys look into it further, but she'd told him no. She very much just wanted to put it behind her and forget the trauma she'd been through. The fluid tests had come back negative indicating no semen found. There had been no trace residue of latex or spermicide so it seemed that Fall's hadn't done anything more to her than what she'd consciously experienced at his hands. Not that it had been a cakewalk for her but the test results had brought a fair measure of relief. She still felt dirty sometimes when her mind allowed the moment to drift back to her. But the occurrences were less frequent they it had been the first few days. Scully could tell Mulder's mind was whirling with questions, when she told him to let it go, but he merely agreed and told her that if she needed him to call. Scully had thought about what it would be like to truly need someone as complicated as her partner. The last time she'd openly admitted she wanted to be close to someone, it had been to the social worker about little Emily. Opening herself up to anyone much less Mulder wasn't an easy task. Even talking to her mother had been no simple feat. She'd had to get tipsy to do it. But then her mother understood her because she'd lived with Bill Scully for so many years. She'd pretty much figured out how to make her daughter talk and for this Dana was thankful. The chaos of her emotions had subsided somewhat after she'd unburdened herself to her mom. Her mom had told her many times that she was very much like her father. When she was younger she had scoffed her comments, but now she realized that Margaret Scully was right. Her dad had been one of the strongest people she'd ever met. He'd never truly needed anyone that she could remember. He'd loved his family and had been there with support and caring at most times but he'd never shared his vulnerabilities or his fears with anyone except for perhaps her mom. Bill Scully was a stubborn man who'd frowned on neediness and weakness, and Dana realized that she too shared those same values. Scully smiled, while the salty breeze assaulted her . On the horizon the last vestiges of the sun sank below the ocean. Her parents had had some difficult arguments over the years. Her mother would stand her ground as her father turned red in the face at her defiance, and despite the trouble of it at the time Dana knew her father had respected her mother for just being strong enough to argue with him. Maybe she had a bit of her mother in her too. "Excuse me," Scully turned and smiled at one of the doctors from the conference. He was standing on the balcony attached to hers. "I'm not disturbing you am I"? He was extremely handsome Scully couldn't help noticing. "No, I come out here every evening." She said in a friendly voice. They had exchanged conversations the last couple of days over breakfast and at a group dinner. Dr. Bill Hall smiled at her then turned his attention to the last blaze of sun disappearing into the horizon. "I love the sea. My wife is joining me here at the end of the conference for a few days." He looked at Scully again. "She loves the beach. Living in Atlanta, we try to spend as much time at the beach as possible with the opportunity rises. I proposed to her on a beach near here. Now every time we go to the shore I try to think of a clever way of proposing. She loves it. " Silence passed between them as they breathed in the salt air and listened to the lure of the sea as the waves crashed against the shore. "Are you planning to stay a few extra days? The conference committee has the rooms booked until Thursday. It seems a waste not to use them. " "No, I'm not planning any additional days, I need to get back to DC," Scully spoke softly staring out over the water. "Too bad, I'd like you to meet my wife. She's a pathologist working out of Emory University. I'm sure she'd be interested in hearing some of your stories." He said looking at his watch. "Well, I'd better get back, she's suppose to call me in a few moments. I'll see you at the farewell breakfast, Dana." They exchanged smiles and he moved back into his suite. Turning her attention back to the water she suddenly got the urge to be silly. Climbing over the balcony railing, she dropped three feet onto the grass below, and walked towards the water. The sand was warm and rich beneath her feet. Moving forward she padded through the sand until the cool waves reached her toes. She couldn't help remembering what Dr. Bill had said about his wife and the love that showed on his face as he spoke of her. Scully tried to picture what it would be like to have someone to propose to her on a beach? A handsome man taking her into his arms kissing her professing his undying love? God she sounded like a sappy chick flick. She noticed a couple walking hand and hand slowly smiling and talking. Suddenly Dana Scully felt very alone. She did need someone in her life. It was something she'd known it or a while now, but she had denied it because the only person she could picture filling that position in her life was Mulder. What she didn't know was why. Was it because he dominated her time with work, and he was the only person in her life who was a constant? Or was it because she wanted truly wanted and needed him in her life? With all his imperfections, dry humor, insecurities, would they be happy? With all of her stubbornness and difficulties at opening up, could they be happy. She'd thought a lot about being alone since she'd arrived at the at the conference. She'd watched all around as people lived, loved, cried and fought, and had realized at some point she'd stopped truly living and experiencing her life. She'd sheltered herself from all of the common emotions, trying to be strong when in reality she was just hiding for fear of being hurt. She'd turned over in her mind the conversations she'd had with Mulder and with her mother. Maybe it was time for her to take chance at being with someone and allowing that person to be apart of her life? Bill seemed to be perfectly happy. Her parents had been happy. Glancing at her watch, Scully turned and walked back toward her hotel. It was seven. "Hi." She smiled and nodded at a young couple sitting in the hot tub as she passed by it and slipped back into the hotel through the side door. After freshening up, she sat on her bed and stared at the phone a few minutes before pulling it onto her lap. This was a big step for her. There was no turning back once she opened herself up to possibilities of their future. Taking a deep breath, she dialed the familiar number. "Mulder." His voice warmed and excited her despite the distances between them. "Hey, it's me." She answered. "How's the conference?" He asked casually. Scully could hear the television in the background, "Fine. Mulder, what are you watching?" She smiled as she heard him mute the sound. "Just the news. Did you know there was a small swarming of locusts in south east Asia?" "Nope. I've been too busy watching the sunset, Mulder." "How romantic.." His voice trailed off for a moment " Hey Scully?" It was his turn. "What are you wearing?" He smiled knowing it would throw her. "Mulder, if you knew it might give you heart failure." It was her turn to smile at the gasp that came through the phone line. "That might be a pleasant way to go..." He informed her at the same time trying very hard not to let on how her last statement had effected him. This wasn't the Scully of the past few months. His partner was being almost playful. "Is everything okay, Scully? You sound... I don't know.. Different." There was a long pause before she found her voice. "Mulder, I need you. I was hoping you could get away and come down here for a few days." She held her breath as silence once again passed between them. "I'll be right there." TITLE: Old Ghosts Epilogue Scully stared at her watch with nervous anticipation, if calling had been scary, waiting for Mulder to arrive was positively terrifying. He'd called from the airport to say he was retrieving his bag and that he would be there soon. It was a thoughtful gesture, but it had only served to make her even more restless. Standing, Scully moved back into her room and grabbed a light knit sweater. All the sitting around in her room was making her feel more than a little confined. She had to get out, needed to be in the open for a little while. Snatching her door key off the desk, she quietly slipped out of her room and headed down the hall. Entering the lobby Dana regarded the small sitting area off to the right. A small cluster of floral covered chairs and couches had been placed there in such a way that they welcomed conversation. During the convention it had almost always been cluttered with Doctors discussing one thing or another. Often times the conversation had gotten quite rowdy and more than a little animated, but tonight it was empty. It was almost midnight many of the hotels residents had retired for the evening, with only the small piano bar showing any sign of life. Moving over to the front desk she smiled at the young man sitting behind a computer. "A.. .." She didn't know what to call Mulder. Partner? Possible lover? Boyfriend? Companion? Confident? On some level he was all of those things to her, and on other levels not at all. " A friend is coming into town this evening and he should be arriving anytime, would you mind letting him know I'm just out back on the beach?" She handed him her hotel key and waved as he went back to the computer. Feeling very much like a caged animal, she made her way through the pool area and out onto the back lawn. She really needed to feel the vastness of the galaxy gazing down on her tonight. Somehow, the extensiveness of the stars and space, and the seeming smallness and insignificance of one individual made it easier to put everything in perspective. A light breeze drifted in off the night-shadowed ocean causing her to shiver through the thin blue silk of her summer dress. Slipping on the sweater she carried, she moved towards the water. The rush of the waves, and the distinctive smell of the salt sea air dazzled her senses. Dana knew exactly what had drawn her father to the water, and why he'd spent his entire life dedicated to it. It was the same thing that called to her. The untamed beauty of it, combined with the freedom and the power it represented was almost magnetic. Her shoes were quickly abandoned at the side of the small wooden walkway, for the simple feel of the cool grainy sand underneath her toes. Scooping up a handful she let slip from her fingers slowly, and watched silently as its small crystals caught in the bright moonlight. Overhead the stars blanketed the rich inky velvet of the evening sky. It was almost breathtaking. Making her way down to the water, she dipped her toes in. Its cold heightening her senses. The thick foam of the dying waves coated her feet and left bubble tracks along the shore. There was an odd assortment of shells and other small treasures offered up from the ocean's depths spread out across the muddied beach. By morning they would be long gone. Either pulled back out to sea or picked up by the people employed to keep the beach clean in the early hours of the morning. Bending over she picked up a small star fish that had washed ashore. It was still alive it's coralled limbs still soft and pliable. It was beautiful, a small piece of heaven that had fallen from the sky. At least that was what she had always thought as a child, when they were little she and Melissa used to collect them and paint them for mobiles. Now she was just content to return it back to where it had come from. Stepping a few feet further into the water she threw it as far out as possible, hoping it wouldn't find it's way back onto the beach. "Ever the Doctor..." Scully jumped, momentarily startled by the intrusion into her thoughts. "Jesus, Mulder..." She turned around to face her partner. A ribbon of excitement trailed by fear flitting through her. Out of habit more than necessity she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and kicked slightly at the water. "Rescued a starfish." She pointed awkwardly over her shoulder, and then wrapped her arms around herself almost protectively. "I know." Mulder nodded and simply stared at the enigma that was Dana Scully. "You always do that..." He reached his hand out to her and waited. He was not necessarily expecting her to take it, but rather simply curious to see what her reaction would be. To his surprise she moved out of the swirling waters and placed her hand in his. "Do what Mulder? Rescue Starfish?" She asked curiously, her feet falling into step with his as they began to move along the beach. Mulder enmeshed his fingers with hers, and reveled in the simple feeling of her skin against his. "You always show such compassion to other things, people, even animals, but you tend to neglect the one person who needs it most." "And that would be who, Mulder? Yourself?" A light laugh escaped her partner's lips. "Hardly. In fact I think I'm one of the people you show the greatest compassion to, despite all my flaws." "How? By religiously trashing your work?" Scully gazed at the soft mud under her feet, paying it great attention as moved beneath the weight of her footsteps. For the first time she noticed that Mulder too was barefoot beneath his rolled up jeans. He stopped and turned to her. "In everything I do Scully, whether you've believed in it or not, you've supported me and stood by me. You've rescued me from my self many times, yet you allow the most important person you know to suffer and at times starve from pure neglect. Scully shook her head not understanding, or perhaps denying Mulder didn't know which. His free hand came up to cup her chin and steadily her movements. He forced her to look at him the fear in her eyes quickly scrambling to take up refuge behind the sheer blue of their depths. "You put yourself through so much yet you dust yourself off and with a quick 'I'm fine' try to convince everybody and yourself that you're beyond whatever has happened to." Dana broke the stare first by closing her eyes against her own tears. Memories of Fall's molestation lashed at her. The nightmares had subsided somewhat but there were times she still felt unclean. Quashing the thought she focused on his words. She'd known whom he had meant. She'd felt it herself many times on the dark lonely nights alone in her apartment when she'd cried herself to sleep out of pure frustration. The little voice that bore her subconscious had been getting considerably louder for sometime. She fought back the emotion and the desire just to ask Mulder to hold her and turned away to look at the water. "See you're doing it now, Dana." he stepped in front of her blocking her view. "You're hurting but you won't allow yourself to be comforted. " She shook her head again and started to walk. "It's not that easy, Mulder." He followed her. "But see that's what I don't understand. It should be, at least between us. We've been through so much together. We trust each other. We know each other so well." "Yet we still don't truly know each other do we?" The pain in her voice was evident, and it hurt to know he had caused it. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. About Haley." His voice was laced with regret and remorse. Scully dropped her eyes to her feet, pretending to watch her steps as she made her way up onto a small pier. "No, Mulder that's not it." She turned around and looked at him for a moment before continuing. "I know your shoe size and where you went to school and what you look like underneath your clothes, but all of that is superficial. The bartender at the local bar probably knows about as much as I do.." She made her way carefully along the thick aged planking and took a seat at the end, her feet dangling over into the water. "You've rarely openly shared anything about yourself with me.. You know the things real friends talk about - like School days and best friends and the stupid things you did when you were younger. I know none of that about you, and the same could be said of you about me." Mulder took a seat beside her, and stared out at the full moon casting it's ambient light across the water. "You want to know the stupidest thing I ever did?" Scully nodded mutely her toes tracing mini circles in the water. "You mean aside from last Sunday afternoon? And my marriage to Haley? And relationship with Phoebe?" "Those aren't stupid things. Those are life experiences, Mulder." Scully looked at her partner's pensive reflection spread out across the water. "How can you think a marriage and love to be something stupid?" Extending a hand she wet her fingers and flicked her partner in the face. Mulder gaped at her dumbfounded, his surprise more at her actions that her words. "It's not the act itself, Scully. Just the situation that was senseless, a waste." He wiped at the water dripping from his nose. "Better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all..." She flicked him again. "Humph.." The sarcasm in his voice was more than a little evident. "I think the not at all would have been better in Phoebe's case... At least Haley taught me something." Licking the salt water from his lips he dipped his fingers in the water and flicked her back. "What?" Scully grinned slightly and rubbed at her own face. "She taught me a new kind of pain." He fingered the loose splinters of the deck beneath him, pulling absently to break them free. "Isn't that what Phoebe taught you?" She reached up and brushed at a trickle of water running down Mulder's cheek. She couldn't be sure if it was a tear or the residue of her playfulness. "Some, but mostly she taught me betrayal." Finally freeing the narrow piece off wood from it's confines. He twisted it between his fingers stabbing at the deck with it. "You want happy memories, Scully? The secret pieces of my life that I haven't shared with you? The humorous and sometimes embarrassing stories most people carry with them from their childhood... but I have none to share with you. And it's not because I don't want to. It's because I honestly don't have any." Scully didn't say anything and waited for him to go on her feet still tracing small circles in the water. The ripples she was creating broke up the uncomfortable reflection her partner was casting on the water. He was such a private and often closed person that opening up was equally as difficult for him as needing was for her. "You know as a child I was a lot like I am as an adult, Scully. Life at home was always more than a little tense, which is why I bolted the minute I had a chance, and have pretty much stayed away." He broke his little wooden dagger in half and threw it disdainfully into the water. His fingers immediately digging at the planking for another. "When I had friends they were odd balls, girlfriends were scarce, and I have the honor of being the source of all those colorful anticdotes my peers managed to bring with them into their own adulthood. Does this not all sound familiar?" He asked his eyes seeking out her half obscured expression. She wasn't looking at him, her eyes instead had chosen to seek out another source of interest, anything other than his face. He hadn't wanted to sound pitiful. He'd moved beyond that point long ago. He was just relating the facts. Scully acquiesced, and reached out and stopped his fiddling hands. Slipping his fingers through hers, he squeezed her hand slightly. "You grew up in acceptance Scully. You had a great family, terrific parents who loved each other. Friends who cared about you, all the stuff that makes a good healthy childhood. It's only natural that you expect that from me." "It wasn't always happy at home. My parents fought too, Mulder." Her comment sounded lame even to her own ears. She had known that early life had not been easy for her partner, but the verbal confirmation of it angered her. Mulder shook his head. "See that's just it Scully. My parents rarely fought, they just never talked. There was always this insurmountable tension in the house and when they did fight it was only because it had reached an intolerable point." His free hand came up and drew her hair away from her face so he could see her expression. She looked at him. "It must have been hard.." Mulder shook his head again. "It's like your predilection for strength, and scorn of weakness, Scully. I grew up knowing only weakness, as you did strength, so I accept it as normal. Our experiences were the opposite. My telling of my life, my sharing this with you hasn't added to your depth of knowledge as to who I am." He smiled, almost laughed. "It's just damn depressing, but your life your experiences do add dimension to your personality." A quirky smile lit up her face. "Not necessarily good dimensions though.." "So Agent Scully what was the stupidest thing you ever did?" He asked trying to lighten the conversation. Pulling her feet up onto the deck Scully pulled her loose skirt over her knees and hugged them. "I think that would be the time I died my hair green when I was 15..." "Green??" Mulder tried to envision his fairly straight laced partner with a crown of green hair. "Oh yeah, " She giggled. "Lime green. I even spiked it." "Why??" She smiled and hid her face in her knees. "What motivates anyone at that age Mulder? He shrugged.. Lifting her head up she turned her head to face at him. He was staring at her a mixture of amusement and amazement in his eyes. "There was this guy from England, a cousin of a friend. He came to stay at the base. He was a lot older. I think he was 20." She dipped her finger in the water and began drawing wet circles on the dock. Her nervousness was more than a little evident. "Anyway, he was into the punk scene, and I developed a major crush on him. But he used to call me little girl all the time so to be cool I dyed my hair green. My dad flipped. He was going to lock me up in the bedroom for the whole summer but my mom talked him down. She figured I was just going through this rebellious stage and that I would grow out of it." "And you did.." he commented, still trying to visualize the scenario his partner had painted. Scully nodded. "Yeah well after...." She flushed biting back her final comment. "Well yeah..." "After what??" Mulder asked his curiosity now peaked. "Nothing.." Scully replied more than a little embarrassed. "Come on, Scully, what happened to honesty? Sharing? Getting to know each other?" he dipped his hand in the water and flicked her. "This is something you don't need to know Mulder." She rose from her seat at the end of the dock and moved towards the shore, hoping some distance would end this part of the conversation. "Tell me.. " Mulder grinned moved in front of her, doing his best to prevent her from leaving. Scully stared at him determination written all over her face. "Get out of my way Mulder.." She pushed him not meaning to do anything other than get past him. But he lost his balance and grabbed for her. Her shriek was the last thing heard before the two of them hit the tepid water. Mulder surfaced first his toes barely touching the bottom. He reached for his partner the minute she bobbed up, and grabbed her around the wrists. Grinning evilly he waited while sputtered and tried to shake her wet hair out of her face. "I'm okay you can let go..." She tried to shake him off, but he had a firm grip on her wrists. It took a moment before she realized that he wasn't trying to help her, he was holding her prisoner. She stopped flailing and stared at him her brilliant blue eyes piercing his own hazel ones. "Seriously Mulder..." He just continued to grin, so she kicked at him with little or no effect. The water slowed the force of it and the fact that she had no leverage didn't help matters much. She made contact with his knee but he just smiled, and then he dunked her. She came up sputtering and spitting the thick salt water from her mouth. "You're so puerile." she yelled angrily at him. "And you're so short." He laughed. "Dammit Mulder.." She wrestled him some more before finally giving up. Her breaths coming in rasps. "Give?" It was a simple question, but its affirmation would mean a loss in their battle of wills. Scully nodded anyway. "So tell me..." Mulder asked, and mistakenly loosened his grip on her wrists. In a flash she was free and making her way towards shore. He let out a soft "OOF" as her foot made contact with his stomach. It knocked the air out of him slightly, but not enough to fully disable him. Within seconds she was back in his grasp. His hand gripped firmly around one ankle. Slowly he reeled her in this time pulling her up against him so that her back was to him. He gripped her around her slim waist, and pressed her into him. The warmth of her body was electric. His sodden shirt and her blue dress, now reduced to little more than a filmy sheath, provided no barrier between them. Mulder reveled in her heat his body reacting of it's own accord. She'd stopped struggling, and relaxed back into him. Her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He brought his mouth up along side her ear "Scully?" He murmured. His voice almost a caress. She nodded. "I'm sorry.. I need to know.." His lips brushed against the cool skin of her throat. This was a question he had struggled with since the night she'd killed Falls. The time for frivolity had passed and the moment had become surprisingly intimate. "I lost my virginity that summer, Mulder that's all." She looked down into the darkened water. "No." Mulder shook his head. "That's not what I was going to ask." A thick wiry knot of dread formed in his stomach. "What I need to know what Fall's did to you.." The statement hung like dead air between them for a moment before her voice fractured the quiet of the gently lapping water. "He....." Her words were fraught with trepidation. She didn't want to tell him this because it would only hurt him. But she needed to share it with someone, and she didn't want it to be anyone other than him. "He molested me Mulder. It wasn't much. He touched me, mostly he just played with himself." His body became rigid with anger. A hoarse "Fuck!" issuing forth from between his lips. He let her go. Scully swam toward shore, making for sure footing. She stopped when she finally felt the soft liquid sand between her toes and noticed that he wasn't following her. Turning she caught sight of him staring off into the night's obscurity. "Mulder.." she called to him but he didn't respond. She swam back out but kept her distance unsure of how he was feeling. Half afraid that he would be repulsed by her violation, she called to him again, and waited for some sort of indication of what was going through his head. She had had time to deal with it. He remained silent his attention seemingly caught by the night sky. She moved closer to him. "Hey." She reached for him hoping that he wouldn't pull away. Her fingers caught him by the shoulder. When he didn't withdraw, she put her arms around him much like he had been holding her, and leaned her head up against his. "I'm okay Mulder." "Jesus, Scully.." He turned to face her fresh tears on his face. "I'm always hurting you in some way." The vision of Whiley Cayote popped into his head. It felt very much like someone had just dropped a two-ton anvil on him. How could she say she was okay? "That's not true. This time you had nothing to do with it." She put her hand on either side of his face, coercing him into looking at her. He shook his head. "How can you say that? I had everything to do with it. I lead him to you. This man's obsession with me brought him to you." "Agent Mulder, you will do anything to accept blame for something. I'm beginning to think that you're a GUILT junkie." She felt like whacking him upside the head. "You told me to stay away, remember? I was the one who showed up on your doorstep. In fact, I probably wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for Danny screwing up the package delivery instructions.." "Think he'd understand if I walked up and shot him in the knees then?" Scully grinned. "Shit happens, Mulder. It's fate, karma, destiny or whatever.. It isn't always about you." "Oh Scully, I love it when you talk cosmic." A quirky smile appeared on his face, and he playfully grabbed her arm and stretched it out Morticia style. He began at her wrist, his lips running a sensual path of kisses up to her shoulder. She was smiling, and laughing, his touch warming her despite the cool water. There were butterflies dancing in her stomach by the time he stopped. He stared at her in the moonlight and smiled back. Despite the Ocean slicked hair and her drowned rat appearance, she was beautiful. Her face though half obscured by shadows, was clearly open and readable. She wanted this as much as he did. Now was the time was the time finish what they'd started in the hallway. Anchoring her with one arm around her waist, he pulled he close and pressed his lips to hers. Their hearts agreed whatever touched them in the future would be bearable as long as they stayed together. The End.. Thanks for reading. Marsha and Cheryl