Title: Come Undone Author: Gill, Jr. E-mail address: MmentMori@aol.com...yes, I changed my e-mail address...so if you ever read a fanfic by HstarbuckH and want to know who to send feedback to, send it to me at the above address. Rating: NC-17 Category: SRA Spoilers: None Keywords: MSR, UST, Angst Summary: Scully gets raped, the aftermath of which could either make or break Mulder and Scully's relationship. Disclaimer: Argh. You all know how much I hate these things. Mulder, Scully, and Krycek belong to CC, the wild, crazy men of 1013, and Fox. (Actually, Krycek belongs to my friend Suzie, but...) :oP I'm not making any money off of this, I'm just doing it for amusement. So don't try and sue me! "Come Undone" belongs to Duran Duran. And Dr. Lauren Najimy belongs to me. Author's notes: Okay, this is a serious story about rape. If you don't like that kind of thing, run before it's too late! Well, actually, there is no actual scene of the rape...I would never, ever make a fanfic that had a rape scene in it. The NC-17 rating is for the seriousness of the topic, and, of course, the little Mulder/Scully bit in here. So you don't have to worry about any graphic rape scenes...this fanfic is actually squeaky clean compared to others. (I'm not saying that others are bad!) But I really hope you'll find the time to read it! Oh, and lemme just tell you something for your benefit...if you listen to "Come Undone" while reading this fanfic, it's a pretty cool experience! I love the song, and it has come to be my favorite. And it inspired me to write this fanfic. So if you really are interested, the song came off of their CD "Duran Duran." (a.k.a. The Wedding Album) More Author's notes at the end. Well...guess that's about all I have to say...enjoy! Feedback: I'm all ears! :o) Send it on my way; I'd be happy to hear it. Any comments, constructive criticism, or just comments on life in general are welcome. Flames will be used in my fireplace to heat my achy feet after a long, gruelling day of school. :o) Dedication: This one is for my good friend, Harriet. You're funny, smart, and the best friend I have that's over 40 years old! I'm just kidding. Thank you for being such a good friend to me. And by the way...you're like a second mom to me! :o) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Come Undone~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fanfic by Gill, Jr. Dana Scully shifted a little, stirring awake the man that slept cradled to her. She started as she felt his fingers trace lazy patterns on her bare back. She tried to flinch away, but he quickly wrapped an arm around her, not letting her go. "Get out of here. Leave me alone!" she said as she tried to pry his arm away from her. Unfortunately, his arm stayed right in place. The man smiled and said, "Say it." "No!" "Say...it..." he said testilly, spitting his words out as one would watermelon seeds. The way he said it made Scully terrified...so she obeyed. She hesitated. "I...love you." "And I sure as hell don't love you." Dana prepared herself to get smacked, but she didn't. She knew it would be a sleepless night for her. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully stood outside the basement office, applying make up to her weary face. She looked like hell; bags under her eyes, pale face, droopy lids, and blood-shot eyes...she felt the way she looked. She hadn't slept a wink the previous night. And she was sure Mulder would be able to tell. At the thought of him she smiled, weakly, but a smile, at that. She put her compact back into her purse. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she stepped through the door. Mulder looked up from the file he was reading. "Oh, hey Scul- " he cut himself off as he realized that something was wrong. Her face was very pale, there were bags under her eyes, and... he thought. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Hi there, Mulder," she said, not paying much attention to him. "Any U.F.O. wild goose chases you're about to embark on?" she asked wryly. "No such luck, Scully, m'dear." Her head jerked up. "I was just reading an old file," he explained. "Oh," she said plainly, sitting down at a table facing away from him. She went about filing her nails as Mulder read the rest of the case. It must have been a half an hour 'til the uncomfortable silence was penetrated. "Dana- " "Mulder- " they said in unison. "You go first," Mulder urged. "No...no, it's not important. Go ahead." "Um...allright," Mulder said. "Are you okay, Dana?" "She looked up. "Yeah, I'm fine," she lied through her teeth. Mulder wasn't the least bit convinced; she used 'the word' again. But he sensed she didn't want to talk just yet. So he offered an "Oh. Okay. Just checking." "So what was it that you were going to say?" he asked after a moment. "Oh..." she said, trying to think up something to say. "Um...I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to lunch soon." "Sure. Sounds good to me." He knew that wasn't what she was going to say, but he figured she'd tell him later. he thought. said an annoying little voice in the back of his head. he thought, smiling nervously. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Mulder sat at his desk later the same day, absently studying his long fingers. He had tried so many times at lunch to get her to talk to him, but every time, there'd be some sort of interruption. he thought. He didn't know why Scully had been so secretive towards him lately. He wondered if it was something he had done. he thought. He sighed and closed his eyes. Leaning back in his chair, an image popped into his head. It was her. Vibrant, young...beautiful. She reached out to shake his hand. He smiled. How could he ever think she would spy on him? His mind continued to play back those sweet first memories. He was just starting to remember the time she took off her robe to show him the mosquito bites when Scully hastily got up from her desk. "I'm- uh- leaving early," she said with a voice so small, it came out sounding like a question. Mulder frowned slightly. "Um...okay." He was clearly befuddled at her behavior. "See you tomorrow?" he asked. She nodded her head and said, "Yeah" so quiet, Mulder barely heard her. With that, she closed the door. Not just the door to their office, but the door to her heart. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully sat motionless in her now-lukewarm bath. She had been crying. But there was a reason. Last night, she had been raped. Just to even think of it made the tears come at an unthinkable rate. She buried her head in her hands and let go. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully was looking and feeling even worse the next day at work. She had been up all night puking her guts out. Mulder noticed her pallor immediately. He had tried desperately to comfort her and ask her what was wrong the whole day, but she still wasn't telling him anything. He had even tried to put his hands on her shoulders and she had jumped practiacally six feet in the air. Now, they were both sitting at their respective desks, pretending to do work, when they weren't really doing anything. Mulder sighed...he was going to try again. "Scully, *please* tell me what's- " "I'm FINE! FINE! Perfectly fine. Leave me the hell alone!!" she screamed at him. Her chin quivered, but she held in the urge to cry. She turned back to her 'work.' Mulder knew well enough to leave her alone. So he did. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully stayed like this for almost two weeks. She couldn't keep any food down. As a doctor, she knew that the repeated vomiting was probably the after affects of her...trauma. But she knew she couldn't keep going like this. So she finally went to the doctor. Dr. Lauren Najimy paced the floor of her small office. "So what is it?" Scully asked her doctor. "Nerves, right?" "Could be. I mean, after what happened to you...uh, Dana...there's something you need to be aware of." Dana stepped towards the doctor, very concerned. Dr. Najimy looked her straight in the eye. "You're pregnant, Dana." The world crumbled. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Mine, immaculate dream, Made breath and skin. I've been waiting for you. Signed, with a home tattoo, Happy birthday to you Was created for you. Can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams. Can I believe you're taking my heart To pieces? XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully swung open the door of her apartment, not even caring that it had slammed into the wall. She slipped her coat off as if it were a burden and kept it strewn across the floor. She sat herself down on the couch as if it weren't her own and stared straight ahead, thinking of absolutely nothing. The house was silent except for the humming of the clock in the kitchen. It reminded her just how lonely she was. She needed someone to talk to. Someone who would understand. Mulder. She absently lifted the phone from its cradle and dialed his familiar numbers. His voice was the most beautiful thing in the world. She attempted to speak, but her throat protested. She tried again. "I...need to talk to you." The trembling in her voice scared him very much. "Please...come here now." Already, she was close to tears. She abruptly hung up. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Mulder." Before he could make another move, she was already in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Despite being caught extremely offguard, he returned the gesture. Then, she pulled away. "What is it, Scully?" Instead of answering his question, she took his hand and guided him to sit on her couch. He could see she had tears in her eyes. Whatever it was she had to tell him, it was going to be hard. He took her hands in his. She looked at him long and hard, gazed into his hazel eyes. A tear slipping down her cheek, she said, "I'm pregnant." XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully couldn't quite put her finger on Mulder's first reaction. His face hadn't changed from the time before she told him until the first few seconds after. It was almost as if he was denying it. The next emotion he expressed was also quite hard to identify; worry, being shocked...perhaps even hurt. "Who's the - I don't understand!" he blurted. This would be even harder to tell him. The tears began falling faster. She didn't want to tell him. The tears began falling faster. She didn't want to tell him. said a voice in her head. But the logical part of her told her she needed to. "I was...raped by Alex Krycek." His eyes blazed with the great fire of hatred that raged inside his body. "I'm going to KILL the bastard!!" He was in such a rage, he nearly jumped from the couch. She put her hand on his shoulders to ground him. "No, you can't! Mulder, you've already gotten yourself into so much trouble!" Knowing that she was right, yet still wanting to kill the man where he stands, he forced himself to settle down. For her. He sighed. "Do you know what you're going to do with the baby?" She raggedly sucked in her breath and let it out, almost choking on her tears. "I don't know!" She then burst into tears. He reached out to her and drew her into his arms. "I don't know," she mumbled helplessly into his jacket. She let herself cry as she had never cried before. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully needed Mulder that night more than she needed the air she breathed. That night had extended to weeks and months. He had moved most of his stuff into her apartment to spend those nine gruelling months with her. She didn't think she could ever show him just how grateful she was for him being there for her. She had told her mother the whole story. She had also told Skinner the news and had left the Bureau on Maternity Leave. With Mulder moving in with her, she was sure that there were plenty or rumors flying around. But she didn't care. He would stand by her side for the battle and never back down. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****Five months into Scully's pregnancy***** Scully sat herself down cautiously ono her couch. It was getting harder and harder to do things nowadays. She had made her decision; she needed to tell Mulder. And it was now or never. "Mulder?" Within seconds, he emerged from the kitchen. "Yes?" he asked her. He was pretty sure he knew what the confrontation was about...she hadn't said much yet on what she was going to do with the baby. He figured this was it. He braced himself inwardly. She put her hand down next to her. "Sit." So he did. And waited for her to say something. And waited. "I've come to a decision," she stated firmly. To any other person, Dana Scully would appear to be tough on the outside, but Mulder could see that she was desperately trying to keep it together. He held her hand. She looked up from their intertwined fingers to his face. "I'm going to have the baby and give it up for adoption." Mulder nodded. That was the Scully he knew; his Scully. She didn't believe in abortion. She cared enough for the child to birth it. Even though she would give it up, he understood perfectly. He respected and admired her decision. He smiled at her and gave her a reassuring hug. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****Nine months into Scully's pregnancy***** Scully slowly woke up from her dreamless sleep. She glanced over at the clock. 3:43 a.m. She then glanced over to Mulder, who was sleeping next to her. At first, he had insisted he sleep on the couch, but she wouldn't let him. The bed was much more comfortable, she wanted him to feel like he was welcome there, and now, he basically lived there, so she had made him sleep in her bed. Besides, having him there was a great comfort. Suddenly, she realized she had to use the bathroom. She tried as best as she could not to wake Mulder as she swung her swollen feet over the edge of the bed. She then stood up and paused as she felt something warm trickle down her leg. She immediately peered up her nightgown. "Mulder! Mulder, wake up!!" she shook him back and forth. He opened his eyes. "It's time to have the baby; my water broke!" Mulder's eyes sprung wide open. He immediately hopped out of bed, putting on his socks and shoes. He had on a wrinkled T-shirt and sweatpants, but he didn't care. He threw on his coat and buttoned Scully up in hers. He helped her out to the living room. Then, he locked the door and they took off. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx It was a boy. Born at 9:06 a.m., 6 lbs. 11 oz, and 19 inches long. The birth was very hard on Scully; it was her first one, and a long one, at that. Mulder had held her hand and coaxed her through the birth. Afterwards, she was clearly exhausted; her pale face in contrast to her fiery auburn, sweat-dampened hair...she was the most beautiful thing Mulder had ever seen. Even after the birth, Mulder stayed by her side, holding her hand. The long, painful journey had ended. Sure, the memory would remain, but it was all over now. Scully had decided to list the child as a John Doe; she would let it be up to the new parents to name it. All of a sudden, Dana's eyes fluttered open from her exhausted sleep. Mulder looked up at her and smiled. "How are you?" "Fine, fine," she replied in a sleepy voice, "but could you get me something to drink, please?" He got up and stroked her hair affectionately. "Sure." He walked to the other side of the bed and filled a plastic cup with water from the pitcher at her bedside table. Sitting down next to her on the bed, he gently lowered the cup to her lips and helped her to drink. She smiled warmly at him. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****3 days later***** Mulder walked in Scully's apartment, his arm around her to offer support. "The couch?" he asked. She nodded numbly. He walked her very slowly to the couch and helped her sit down. He sat down next to her. He tried thinking of something to say to start a conversation. Instantly, something came to mind. "Hey, Scully, I think you'll be happy to know that me and the boys were able to track down Krycek and- " "No," she stated firmly. Mulder had a puzzled look on his face. "No, what?" She gripped his arm, a scared look suddenly making its way onto her face. "You can't go after him. Please, Mulder, don't!" "Look at what he did to you, to your life, Scully. Look at it! If there's anything you want right now, it should be revenge." "Maybe I don't." Her voice was shaking and she was on the verge of tears. "What?" Mulder asked, suddenly very angry. "What are you trying to tell me here, that you *cared* about him?!" She just stared back at him. Her silence was the only answer he needed. He sneered at her. "Did you like it, Scully? Did you like the way he fucked you, is that it?!" he asked icily. He surprised both himself and Scully...he couldn't believe he was talking this way to her, but...he was! And for some reason, it felt good. Scully's face turned bright red and she shot him an awful look. If looks could kill, Mulder would have been dead by now. "Don't you talk to me that way..." "Why the hell not?!" he shouted, challengingly. "MULDER, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY APARTMENT RIGHT NOW!!!!" she exploded. "Gladly." He stormed to the door. He walked out of Dana Scully's apartment and never looked back. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Mulder stormed off down the hallway of the apartment building to his car. But he was mad. So fuming mad, he couldn't leave just yet. Sighing, he layed his head upon the steering wheel and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes. Then, he opened them. He turned the engine and took of. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx The door to her apartment slammed shut. Dana watched in horror as he left. Somehow she could sense that might be the last time she would ever see him. Of course, he still had some of his things in her apartment, but he had enough back home to live. She felt her eyes moisten and her chin quiver. She collapsed, defeated, on the floor and pounded her fists into the carpet. "Why?" she asked between sobs. Soon, she didn't have enough energy to cry much more. Scared of what might happen to her and Mulder, she curled herself into the tiniest ball she could and slept. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Mulder lay on his couch with the blinds pulled shut and the lights off. He was just starting to replay the events of their argument. He shook that last thought from his brain. Then, another voice spoke; he supposed it was his conscience. But he had a little trouble accepting *that* choice. asked another voice in his head. "I don't know!" he said aloud. "WHY?" it repeated, more demanding this time. "SHUT UP!" he commanded the voice. It did. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****Ten days later***** Dana flipped the channel to some decorating show on the Discovery Channel. "Welcome back to Interior Motiiiiives!" the eccentric host said. Dana sighed...another day at home. She still had another three months of Maternity Leave left. She had no idea how she was going to make it. Maternity Leave was supposed to be the time an excited young mother spends with her newly-born child and loving husband. But not for Scully. She had kept her child at the hospital and filled out all the adoption papers. She wasn't spending her time with anyone anymore; not even Mulder. She was still a little angry with him; she couldn't believe that anyone, especially him, of all people, would say something like that to her. But most of all, she wanted to see him. Scratch that; she *needed* to see him...but she was scared. Scared that he might still be mad at her; scared that maybe he wouldn't even see her...she couldn't do it. She sighed and put him out of her mind, instead, focusing on the...*happy* man on TV. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****Almost three months after the fight***** Mulder was laying on his couch again. He hadn't spent his time much anywhere else these past few months. He hadn't gotten up from the couch except to go to the bathroom. He even ate on his couch. And he never left his apartment, ever. He was supposed to be going to work, but he kept calling in sick. Finally, Skinner got the message and told him to take some time off anyway. He felt his chin. There was major stubble there. He hadn't had a bath or shaven ever since the fight. He just didn't feel the need to; no one was ever going to come see him again, right? Besides, he liked feeling this way...dirty and grungy. He liked punishing himself. He felt it was sort of compensating for what he did to Scully. he thought. His mind went back to the day of the fight. His voice echoed in his head. He closed his eyes in shame. How could he ever say something like that to this woman? This was the woman who had stood by him and defended him so many times. He had know idea why he'd said those things to her. said a voice in his head. "Jealous? Jealous of what?" he asked aloud. He thought about it some more, but the answers just weren't coming. He thought about this for a minute. "No! No I didn't!" Mulder sighed. he asked himself. He paused to think about it for a moment. He smiled. He had never really thought about it before...him and Scully...he knew they were more than partners; they were friends, but it went deeper than that. And he hadn't realized it until now. "But I could never tell her. Not after what I've done." he said aloud again. He wouldn't. He couldn't. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Scully sat on her couch watching the tube again...that was basically all she had done since the fight...eat, take a bath, watch T.V., eat some more, go to sleep. She was really starting to feel her loss...she hadn't seen Mulder in almost three months, when she was used to seeing him every day. She had considered visiting him again, rehearsing over and over in her head what she would say to him. But nothing was right. Everything was wrong. She had made up her mind a long time ago; she simply would not, *could* not see him. But wrong or right, she had to see him. Now. She clicked off the TV and, grabbing her trenchcoat, she walked out the door. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Mulder was just about to fall asleep when he heard the soft knocks on his door. Scully. He would know her knock anywhere. Should he let her in? Or should he just pretend not to be home? He couldn't decide. "Mulder?" she asked. He still couldn't decide. "Mulder...it's me. Are you there?" she asked again. Sighing, he got up from the couch and opened the door slightly, keeping the chain lock secure. He looked out from the door. She was clearly shocked at his appearance; she had no idea he would look this way...he had major stubble along his chin and jawline, his hair was unkempt, and he appeared to be wearing the same shirt he was wearing the last time she saw him. She blinked. "Yeah?" he asked. "Can I uh...come in?" she asked shyly. Mulder quietly shut the door, undid the chain lock and let her in. She half expected him to guide her into the room by putting his hand in the familiar spot on the small of her back, but he didn't. She was disappointed. She sat down next to him on the couch. "I came over because...I think we need to talk." "Yes...yes, we do." He looked down at himself. "Oh...Scully, I'm sorry...can I, uh, take a quick shower? I must smell awful." She smiled at him. "Sure, go ahead. I don't mind." "Okay." With that, Mulder stepped off the couch and into his bathroom. Scully was starting to feel hot, so she took off his jacket. She was glad he was in the shower; she'd have a little time to rehearse what she had to say. She was going to tell him that she was sorry for everything and that she would like for things to be back to normal. ~~10 minutes later~~ ~~10 minutes later~~ ~~5 minutes later~~ "Mulder?" she asked through the door. No answer. She feared for the worse. Bracing herself, she opened the door and stepped in. The only sound in the room was the sound of water beating down on the bathtub. "Mulder?" she asked again. Still no answer. She stepped close to the bathtub, so she was nearly touching it. Then, she felt wet arms pull her into the bathtub. She let out the beginning of a startled scream. But then she realized it was Mulder. Naked. What the hell was he doing? But that thought disappeared when she felt his mouth lower onto hers. She moaned into his mouth and pulled his wet body closer to her still fully-clothed one. He kissed her deeper still, putting one hand on the back of her neck, the other, on her back. He reluctantly left her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck. She threw her head back to give him more access. Then she felt it...his erection that was now boring into her stomach. She was growing hotter by the minute. She started to take off her clothes, but Mulder put his hand over hers and put it gently to her side. He lifted her shirt slowly over her head and threw it away from them. Then, he came to her front-clasp bra. Houston, we have a problem. He looked her in the eye. "Scully...how do I get this darned thing off?" She noticed the desperate look in his eyes and laughed. "Here, let me..." She snapped off the bra and threw it out of the bathtub. He looked at her exposed flesh like a young boy at a candy store. She was in awe that he would feel that way and not just look at her the way a typical sex-obsessed man would. He then looked deep in her blue eyes before he bent down and gently tugged her pants free, taking her underwear with them. He stood up and stepped back, allowing Scully to observe him while he observed her. When he had sensed she had finished, he went to her again and kissed her with a fierce passion. She sighed and pushed her tongue at him, demanding entrance. Her tongue glided into his mouth and mingled with his. Mulder pushed her back against the wall as far as she could go and slid his tongue in a long, slow trail from her mouth to her chest. He smoothed it along the curve of her right breast and then darted up to the nipple. She moaned. He delighted in her pleasure. He worked slowly, from breast to breast and eventually made his way a little further down to her underbelly. Putting his hands on her buttox, he parted her lips and slid his tongue into her. Scully felt every muscle in her body tighten. He slid his tongue back out and kept on repeating the motion over and over, meanwhile, stroking her clit with his thumb. She moaned...loud. The water beating down on her and Mulder...oh, Mulder...it felt so good! Mulder kept on going until her trembling had stopped. Scully sank down a little and closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "Mulder...now!" she said hoarsley. She took hold of his cock and gently slipped it into her. She sucked in her breath a little. "Oh, God...I'm not hurting you, am I, Scully?" She smiled at him and patted his head. "Not at all." "I love you." "I love you, too, Mulder. Always." With that, he plunged deep into her. She threw her head back and pulled him even closer. Not a word was spoken between them; there was no need for words. What needed to be said was said. Dana felt herself coming to the edge. Mulder knew she was close. So he thrusted inside her a little faster. "Oh, God, Mulder...oh...oh. MULDER!!!!" And it was done. Two ex-FBI partners were now lovers. Mulder thrust into her one more time and came. Scully felt him explode inside of her as she buried her face in his neck. Still inside her, Mulder reached over and shut off the water. He pulled the shower curtain, but Scully put her hand on his arm. "Let's stay here for a while." He got her meaning. He shut the curtain and cuddled up to her. Then, they fell asleep in each other's arms. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Words, playing me deja vu, Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before. Chill, is it something real? Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers? Can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams. Can I believe you're taking my heart To pieces? XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****One month later***** Scully sat on her couch looking down at the golden band on her ring finger. Mulder and her had been together now for only a month when he had asked her to marry him. She hadn't thought twice; she loved him more than anything else in the world. So they were scheduled to be married in a year. Her mother was thrilled; she had liked Fox right from the start. And Mulder's mom was happy that he had finally found that special someone. But she still felt she needed to tell him more...more about the rape. She had kept it a secret for the longest time, and she needed to tell someone. "Mulder?" she called. "Yeah, what is it?" he called from the bedroom. "Can you come out here so I can talk to you?" "Sure, I'll be there in a sec." Sure enough, he came out of the bedroom and walked out to the couch. "What is it?" he asked. "I need to talk to you. About the...rape." It was still a sensitive topic to her...it would always be. "Okay. Go ahead," he urged. "That night...when I was coming home from work, I...I felt weird...like someone was following me. I kept on looking in the rear view mirror, but no one was there. But I still had that feeling! So, when I got home, I took off my coat...you know, the usual routine, and, and- " "You don't have to tell me," Mulder said. "No...I need to. I need to tell someone." He put her hands in his and let her continue. "I walked into my bedroom...into the bathroom in there. I was just starting to brush my teeth, when I saw him. He was in the shower. I tried to run for my weapon, but he was too fast...he already had his hands on me. He pulled out his gun and led me to the bedroom. And...well, you know what happened then. The weird thing is, afterwards, he didn't leave...he stayed there. I wanted to wriggle out of his arms so bad, but he would have killed me, I'm sure of it. So I stayed up all night. But I faked that I was asleep. Out of the crack in my eyelids, I could see him throw the unused condom on the bed next to me. Then, he kicked me in my stomach and left!" Mulder growled low in his throat. He wanted to kill the man, but for whatever reason Scully didn't want him to, he wouldn't. Scully read his mind. She could tell by his eyes and the noise he'd made. "Mulder...when we came home from the hospital...the reason I didn't want you to find Krycek wasn't because I cared for him. Mulder, I could never, EVER care for Krycek. The reason was because I cared about you...I didn't want you to get yourself into more trouble. Mulder, I wanted revenge, and I *still* do. But after all the truths we've exposed, if you had as much as *touched* Krycek, They would have killed you. I don't know why I didn't tell you right then and there that I didn't care about him, and that the sex was against my will. I really don't. But it's all my fault! If I had- " "No, it's not. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. That's all in the past now. We're past that! It's okay." He reached out to her and gave her a hug. Scully kissed his cheek. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding." XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx *****Two years later***** Mulder and Scully were sitting together on a couch in their new home. It was time for their 'big discussion.' "Mulder...I...don't know if you want children or not, but...well...you don't know *how* painful that was on me. I'm not sure if I could ever bear a child again. It would just always remind me of...him...of that night..." "It's...it's okay," Mulder said, lifting her chin up with his finger. "Do...do you want to have children?" "No. Not if you don't want to." "I'm serious, Mulder. Mulder, this isn't just my life...it's yours. If you want children, we could adopt or- " "It's *our* life. And I'm happy without children. I've got you, and that's all that matters to me." "You're sure?" "Absolutely." She smiled at him and suddenly remembered why she loved this man so much. She settled into his lap and kissed him. XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Hey, all! I hope you enjoyed that. Well, I told you there'd be more author's notes at the end. ::everyone groans:: Well, here they are! I have listed below all the lyrics to "Come Undone" for anyone who's interested. I left out some when I was writing this story, so here's the whole thing. "Mine, immaculate dream, Made breath and skin. I've been waiting for you. Signed, with a home tattoo, Happy birthday to you was created for you. Can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams. Can I believe you're taking my heart To pieces? Oh, it'll take a little time, Might take a little crime, To come undone now We'll try to stay blind To the hope and fear outside. Hey, child, Stay wilder than the wind and blow me in to cry... Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone. Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone. Words, playing me deja vu, Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before Chill, is it something real? Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers? Can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams. Can I believe you're taking my heart To pieces? Lost, in a snow-filled sky, We'll make it allright To come undone now we'll try to stay blind To the hope and fear outside. Hey, child, Stay wilder than the wind and blow me in to cry..." -Duran Duran, "Come Undone"